Weight Loss Support - An appropriate goal- When is enough, enough?




Lori Bell
05-29-2009, 12:07 PM
Hey guys. I'm having a dilemma, and it's causing me a little anxiety. When I started out on this journey, I was hoping to just get below 200 pounds. (a Size 16). As time went on and I realized it was not as hard as I thought it would be, I decided that 175 would be a good goal because I had been at that weight in my 20's and maintained it for long period of time. When I reached that weight, I thought it would be nice to get to 50% body weight lost so my next goal was 166. THEN, I decided it would be nice to get to a normal BMI so I changed my goal to 158.

So here I am, 3 pounds away and feel terrific, and every size 10 I've tried on has fit, (except for a pair of Calvin Klein Capri's that were too tight!) but I have this nagging feeling that I should keep going. I would really like to see a size 8 in any brand of clothing as well. That would probably mean 10 pounds more...(148) but I have never maintained that low of weight in my life for more than 2 weeks. I'm really on edge. I feel I can do it, but I guess I'm scared I'll not be able to maintain it. I just don't know what to do. I want to say, "Yay, I reached my goal!", but I still can't decide where that really should be. When is enough, enough?


harrismm
05-29-2009, 12:10 PM
I can understand.I always feel like I could look better if I lose slightly more.But WOW, you have done amazing.I am so inspired by you.I would just suggest that you do what feels best.If you lose 10 more and are unable to maintain it then maybe 158 is best for you.Try it and see!

Fox
05-29-2009, 12:16 PM
I agree with harrismm, why not try it out? If you get down there but it's just too much to maintain then there's certainly no shame in going back up to 158 if that's where you end up being more comfortable at and that's the number that is more sustainable.


Razorcandy
05-29-2009, 12:19 PM
Wow, thats such an accomplishment you've made! I am impressed and hope to be as strong as you are.


This is a really great question. I am no where near goal yet. I picked my goal so I'd be down 100 lbs but my height and frame would allow me to go down to 110 or so.

I know if I were in your shoes, I'd keep going until I was at a weight thats right for my height. Then I would set a limit like "ok I need to stay between X and Y" and try to maintain that.

Will you truly be happy at 158 in a size 10 if you know you can get to 148?

Lori Bell
05-29-2009, 12:29 PM
harris & Fox...I'm afraid of just that. Say I get to 148 and can't seem to maintain it and/or decide it's too low, and I start gaining...will I be able to stop gaining? You know what I mean? The feelings of failure that comes with gaining, (even a few pounds) is what got me so big. I really want to get it right this time, and regaining weight is so taboo (for me).

ETA...OR what if I get to 148 and still think I need to keep going...ugh

rockinrobin
05-29-2009, 12:30 PM
Oh LoriBell - size 10's? Wow. What an amazing, incredible achievement for you. You have come so far.

Oh and I hate to be the one to tell you this, but I think you have hit your "goal". In fact, I think you've exceeded it. Even if you should lose more pounds.

I really have come to dislike the term "goal weight". There just is not one singular solo individual special number that IS sustainable. It's impossible, simply impossible to stay the same exact weight day after day, week after week, month after month. I now keep to a "range". One that I'm comfortable with. It's a 5 lb range, one that, yes, has even gone above the 5 lbs a few times. When I hit the high end, I know it's time to tighten up the reins. I no longer have a single number in mind.

If you should decide to lose another 10 lbs, and then find that it's too difficult or just not worth it to maintain - so be it. What, you're afraid you're going to think of yourself as a "failure"? You know better then that girl. It was an experiment. You give it a try - it doesn't work out. Oh well.

Not that you or any one needs one, but I am cordially inviting you over to the Maintainer's Forum. You definitely belong there. We've all got an extra 5 lbs or even more to deal with, from time to time. :)

Onmyway
05-29-2009, 12:31 PM
First off, Congratulations on how well you have done. I have been so inspired by your success. I remember being part of your Onederland thread back in December!

Here's my 2 cents. If you think you can get to 148, I say go for it. If you get there and find you can't stay there and go up to 158 what is the harm in that. You won't know unless you try and if it doesn't work out, don't let that take away from the tremendous success you have had.

Way to go!

HeidiNicole
05-29-2009, 12:32 PM
I would say if you aren't severely calorie restricting to get to that weight then there is no reason NOT to go for it. How many calories are you currently eating daily? If it is on the low side, maybe bump them up by a couple hundred a day so your loss slows down and then when your body naturally quits losing, you know you're done. I think most people find that their body will tell them when it's time to quit. If you aren't resorting to severe measures to get to a certain number then there is no reason to stop losing KWIM?

JulieJ08
05-29-2009, 12:57 PM
I can understand what you mean. I'm afraid of dieting down to a weight I can't maintain and having to adjust upward. What about the clothes I would buy and love and grow out of! Anyway. Maybe I shouldn't be, but I'm human. I just think that would be discouraging and I'd rather not do that.

So I'm just working on maintaining, figuring any additional weight will come off if it's meant to - and it is. It may only be drifting off slowly, but it hasn't stopped yet - and I know it will stay off because I'm not restricting myself.

JayEll
05-29-2009, 03:17 PM
How about 150?

158 is just a bit inside the normal range of body mass index (BMI) for your height. 150 is solidly in the normal range.

Seems like a good stopping point to me, given that you have no strong feelings about a number. It doesn't have to be ten-pound increments.

Also, you'll need to leave yourself some wiggle room on each side. You might go up a little in weight while you adjust to maintenance, but that's not a disaster. You could allow, say, a 2% variation to either side. That's 3 pounds up or 3 pounds down, barring daily fluctuations.

Do not let numbers drive you nuts... :crazy:

Jay

kiramira
05-29-2009, 03:28 PM
As they say in Italy, "Couragio!!!"
Courage -- to go where you haven't gone before in weight loss! To reach the dream that you have! AND to have to courage to assess if it is realistic, which you will see when you go to maintenance. And the COURAGE to forgive yourself and to listen to your body if it says YES or NO this ISN'T the right weight!!!!!
What do you have to lose but a few pounds????
Kira

Mrs Snark
05-29-2009, 03:39 PM
Relax and don't be afraid to continue losing if that feels right! Getting close to maintenance is scary for most of us, you're not alone!

L R K
05-29-2009, 03:42 PM
Wow! Lori Bell! Amazing! You're an inspiration!

ICUwishing
05-29-2009, 04:26 PM
Great going, LoriBell! You've lost more than a whole person ... AWESOME!!!! I've been visiting Maintainers, and I've read many stories (especially the sticky, "Did you pick your goal weight, or did it pick you?") that the process of defining the maintenance level generally yields a few extra lost pounds, especially for calorie counters who are seeking their threshold. I get the impression that the "warning track" number becomes much more important - where the scale creep is no longer permitted and it's back to loss phase.

Glory87
05-29-2009, 04:54 PM
Hey fellow 5'7"er! My original goal weight was 150. It was a weight I had felt pretty comfortable and slim at in the late 90s. When I reached the 150s, I was still dropping weight easily, so I revised my goal weight to 135 - based on one of those height/weight charts. I ended up plateauing at 140 for months, resetting my goal weight to 140 and then eventually losing 10 more lbs to 130. I have been down as low as 126, but here I am 132, four years later!

So long story - but I hope you get the point, it's definitely not an exact science. I haven't been below 140 in my adult life (I guess I weighed 130 at some point in jr high/high school, but wasn't payign attention to the scale at the time), so I honestly never dreamed it could be a goal. But, my body had never lived as a healthy, well-nourished body, I had no idea what it could do/what it was capable of when I was really taking care of it.

It's hard not to stress and angst, but please don't, keep doing what you're doing and your body will tell you when it's ready - mine did! Don't worry about never maintaining a low weight - like I said, I have NEVER EVER been below 140 in my adult life. Don't let new be a limit! Embrace the excitement of the unknown!

Mrs Snark
05-29-2009, 05:00 PM
Embrace the excitement of the unknown!

What a great sentiment!

Mayhem
05-29-2009, 05:48 PM
You have already lost a ton of weight already, which is a big success, but you aren't happy yet. I think you should keep going until you are happy with your body. Even though you should be now, all of us can tell you to just stop, you've done so much already, but that's not going to help the way you feel about yourself. If you feel like you can get to a size 8 go for it! It's not like you are damaging your body by getting thinner. You aren't becoming underweight or anything, so I say get to a size 8 then go get a pair of those capris in 2 size smaller ;D

Niecy
05-29-2009, 07:17 PM
Lori, girl...let me just say one thing. WOW! If you can go this far and not feel that it was as difficult as you thought, THERE IS NO DOUBT IN MY MIND that you can do this!!!

I am re-losing 10 lbs, but that was due to a medical condition. Not will-power which you do not seem to have a lack of either. You have all the will-power in the world to have come this far!

Let's say you do go down to 148, and you find it harder to maintain it. After coming this far, would you REALLY let yourself gain to the point that you have many, many lbs to re-lose? You have to make it up in your mind now that you will not let that happen. That you will commit to your health and not let that happen. With your height, I don't think those 10 lbs will make as much difference as say 158 and 168; lots of difference when your BMI starts veering toward unhealthy again. Like me, I have set my goal at 128 for now. I could technically go down to 118 and still be in a healthy weight range, and I may change it when I get to my original goal (I am only 5'5"). I never noticed too much difference when I have weighed both of those amounts, but there would be a bigger difference at 138.

It is totally up to you. Either weight sounds good for your stature. But I think you can TOTALLY do it. :)

healthfreak
05-30-2009, 01:05 AM
I think that only you personally can decide what is the most appropriate weight that you can live with every day and remain content with.

gretchen1986
05-30-2009, 01:18 AM
A nice healthy weight is enough, I think :D It's up to you, when you're happy with yourself, but don't get carried away!