100 lb. Club - And Still no-one notices!!!




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Rosinante
05-28-2009, 05:01 AM
Went to a meeting yesterday where people haven't seen me at all for 39lbs.
Still no-one noticed!!!!!

One woman, a really kind, blunt, salt of the earth woman, she is totally genuine and generous, she'd have said if she'd noticed, told me she'd lost 1stone 9lbs (23lbs) and I congratulated her warmly and genuinely.
She told me about a couple of others we both know who'd lost a stone, and half a stone. I congratulated them too.
So it wasn't like weightloss wasn't in the air - and Still she didn't notice! (nor did anyone else at the meeting).

Obviously there was no way I would say, you've lost 23, wow, I've lost 39, I'm not that mean - but I'm so going to frame the day someone notices!!!!!

(Yes, of course I'll keep going, keep up the plod, I'm just vain, vain, vain and want to know people can see a difference!)


jab91864
05-28-2009, 07:54 AM
It can be very discouraging when nobody notices your weight loss. I've been there before. I find I have to lose close to 50 lbs before ppl start to comment.

I think part of it is I've always been heavy...different levels of heavy but never thin. Second it's the way I dress. I prefer loose clothing and at work I typically wear a smock as part of my uniform which also helps to hide true shape.

I often wonder how much ppl really notice me at all. I tend to blend with the background in life. I know it sounds sad but trust me it's not and I find it quite useful at times...lol.

Just keep plodding along and one day they will all act shocked and wonder how you miraculously changed over night because they didn't take notice along the way !!! Perhaps for the next meeting wear something a little different in style that will draw attention and make ppl look then take notice if that makes sense.



:)

GirlyGirlSebas
05-28-2009, 08:05 AM
Hang in there. Your day will come.


aneleh
05-28-2009, 08:28 AM
Do you were the same clothes you did before you lost weight? Maybe your new figure is too hidden under them?
Also think about it, the other woman TOLD you she lost weight. Would you have said anything about her loss if she didn't?
Don't worry though, if you notice and you see yourself everyday, I'm SURE other people notice too. :)

Savora
05-28-2009, 09:20 AM
omg i know how you feel i've lost close to 30 and noone has said anything to me either.... it's discouraging but i'm not gonna stop because one day they will notice..... you've lost a lot of weight and that is awesome, hopefully you notice and that's enough to keep you pushing along!

annie175
05-28-2009, 09:25 AM
Ailidh...OMG, have you lost weight? You look marvelous! Keep on keepin' on. You rock!!!

MandiK
05-28-2009, 09:40 AM
I have noticed lately that people bring up diets, and their exercise routines, etc around me lately. Then when I say "I've been following weight watchers" they say "I knew you'd lost weight". I think people are too afraid to just come out and say "hey, you look great, you've lost weight" so instead they'll tell you what they've lost or been doing for workouts. They want you to bring it up. I'm sure that's what the lady was doing to you.

bindersbee
05-28-2009, 09:44 AM
Oh my heck! Annie, you are too funny!

No one noticed for me either- until recently. Honestly though, I think my Mom must have mentioned it to a few people because THOSE people have noticed.

The funny thing is when someone DOES notice, it won't at all come from where you expect it. I rarely see the school lunch clerk at my kids school but last week I went in to pay the final tab for the year and she didn't recognize me because "you look so different". Really? So the lunch lady who never sees me notices but not people I know better?

Your moment will come soon and totally randomly, out of the blue as well!

futuresurferchick
05-28-2009, 09:45 AM
I have noticed lately that people bring up diets, and their exercise routines, etc around me lately. Then when I say "I've been following weight watchers" they say "I knew you'd lost weight". I think people are too afraid to just come out and say "hey, you look great, you've lost weight" so instead they'll tell you what they've lost or been doing for workouts. They want you to bring it up. I'm sure that's what the lady was doing to you.

This actually happens to me too. It's kind of funny when it does, I can totally tell what the person wants and I usually indulge them by talking about it. :D It could be what this woman intended for you.

irishsarah
05-28-2009, 10:05 AM
I felt the same way at the Memorial Day cookout at my BIL's.

No one noticed. :(

My husband said maybe they did notice but didn't want to seem rude or critical by saying anything. (Therefor implying I needed to lose weight to begin with) Maybe that was it, but it still wasn't fun.

Jen415
05-28-2009, 10:29 AM
I bet people do notice, but usually don't say anything in case they are wrong.....like someone telling a woman with a round belly "When are you due?"...

Eventually, it will be undeniable...

chickiegirl
05-28-2009, 10:53 AM
Ailidh -- what are you wearing at times like these? Is it any kind of long robe or something that does not give your body a lot of shape?

I agree that even clothes that are too big can really blunt the affect of people noticing because you don't look as small as you are.

I've lost 23 pounds and I am working sporadically right now (love the recession!!) so there are people at work that only see me occasionally and I was told I looked good the other day (relaxed), but no one has mentioned my weight loss there. Only my mother and boyfriend have commented, but of course, they know what I'm doing.

For me, I figure people just don't notice the ups and downs on others like we do on ourselves. I'm not expecting any comments until maybe the 50 pound mark because I had so much to lose to start with.

Schmoodle
05-28-2009, 11:01 AM
It's weird, but don't worry, I'm sure you are noticing the differences and everyone else will eventually. I lost 35 lbs. before anyone noticed. Then at one point I kind of plateaued and only lost 5 lbs over 2 months, and at the end of that 2 months all of a sudden everyone was noticing and asking how much more I had lost. I think it's not necessarily how much you've lost, but how your body is moving things around, if you know what I mean. Keep working, soon everyone will be noticing at how great you look.

Kae
05-28-2009, 11:06 AM
It'll happen eventually... I'm with you. I haven't had anyone notice either yet but that's ok. It'll happen eventually. :)

Slashnl
05-28-2009, 11:15 AM
I know it is frustrating, but I agree with everyone else. I think that people are afraid to mention something about weight. It can be such a sensitive subject.

I'm not as far along as you, but I have only had people say something who already know I'm trying to lose. I'm looking forward to hearing from others, too. I think it might take awhile.

Rosinante
05-28-2009, 11:43 AM
Thanks for the comments.

No, I'm just wearing human clothes, the same kind as before but in a smaller size. I've done away with the now ludicrously baggy trousers and blouses.

I just keep kind of laughing at myself because every place I go I think, This will be the time when they notice, and it isn't yet. Vanity, thy name is Ailidh!

Nothing stops the plod though!

DCHound
05-28-2009, 11:51 AM
Have you been measured for a new bra lately? To me, that was when people started noticing/saying stuff ~ once I finally went out and got a bra that fit. (It took 60 lbs though.)

kaplods
05-28-2009, 11:53 AM
I really do think people are less likely to just go up and tell someone they've lost weight, than they once were. I know I rarely do, because of the chance of a backhanded compliment (they haven't lost any weight, and now I've embarassed them, or they think I'm hinting that they need to - or the weight loss may not be voluntary and they have a horrible wasting disease, thus rubbing their nose in it, or they're just shy and/or won't want to talk about it).

I'll admit that I'm a bit of an attention-whore, so when I want compliments, I often do fish for them (however, I'm also prepared to let the random insult or other unsatisfactory response slide off my back).

bargoo
05-28-2009, 12:23 PM
People who see you often are not as aware of your loss as someone who hasn't seen you in awhile. I also agree that sometimes people are hesitant to say something. I had one comment how quickly I had lost weight, I hadn't lost quickly, it was that she had just noticed.

CLCSC145
05-28-2009, 12:24 PM
I have noticed lately that people bring up diets, and their exercise routines, etc around me lately. Then when I say "I've been following weight watchers" they say "I knew you'd lost weight". I think people are too afraid to just come out and say "hey, you look great, you've lost weight" so instead they'll tell you what they've lost or been doing for workouts. They want you to bring it up. I'm sure that's what the lady was doing to you.

I thought the same thing - to have several people talk about it around you makes me think they were waiting for you to fess up. I have to lose about 40 pounds before people notice (or say) anything. But from then on, hold on to your hat! It will be all anyone talks about!

luvja
05-28-2009, 12:35 PM
Oh man, I know how you feel. It's so frustrating. Honestly, it took 50-60 pounds for people to start noticing on me. We must gain out weight evenly or something, because my best friend, who is big and has huge hips, if she loses 5 pounds, everyone notices. We are losing weight together, and it really upset me/discouraged me when I had lost 50 lbs, and she had lost 10 and everyone was like "Wow Sara(my friend), Have you lost weight!?" And no one said anything to me, yet I had lost 40 lbs more than her!
:hug:

thinpossible
05-28-2009, 12:53 PM
Yes, but there is a down side of people noticing, at least for me. People feeling free to let you know what you should/shouldn't eat, how their cousin lost 50lbs and what she did. People prying about how much you weigh, how much you've lost, and how much more you want to lose. People telling you to stop losing that you're losing too much. So since no one's noticed, you've avoided all those pit falls.

I'm sure you look great, and people will notice eventually. :D

matt_H
05-28-2009, 01:59 PM
A lot of time people notice but are uncomfortable saying anything about weight loss. Eventually people will say something, just hang in there!

WhitePicketFences
05-28-2009, 02:02 PM
Alidh, I went to visit relatives for Christmas after having lost 36 lbs (and officially hit 40 lbs down while visiting). These were close relatives (parents, siblings, grandma, mother-in-law, sister-in-law ...) who hadn't seen me in 4 months. Only one person noticed, and mentioned it in a quizzical tone after a few days. And these are people who would've said so if they noticed.

When I had lost exactly 50 lbs, different (further extended) relatives came to my house for a short visit. They hadn't seen me in a few years. They didn't say anything (and they would've if they'd noticed). They did talk about the 10 lb weightloss of another relative, a relative whose height/weight is similar, both slightly higher than my own stats -- but the difference is that this relative had announced her 10 lb weightloss.**

They heavily implied, in a patronizing way, that I should follow this relative's healthy example.

At 55 lbs down, finally someone acctually noticed -- the dental hygenist who hadn't seen me for an appointment in 6 months. Still nobody in my daily life noticed besides my husband. And because of the Christmas and late winter visits, I still doubted that relatives who hadn't seen me in awhile would notice.

But then, just recently at about 73 lbs down, we went to visit in-laws, some of whom I saw at 35-40 lbs down and some of whom I hadn't seen in several years. They all noticed and gushed upon greeting. Wasn't expecting that at all!

So it does become obvious. I think it just kept getting more and more noticable between 50 and 70. And you know, it's fine wtih me that it wasn't obvious until recently, because I have not liked attention when I'm still somewhat significantly overweight (at which point we mind/don't mind attention will vary; I am vain and shy, though). It was weird to keep quiet about losing 50 lbs when people are making comments to the effect of you too could lose 10 lbs, dearie!.

I'm glad I layed low for many reasons, but in part to know that people really meant it when they said, "wow, you look great -- you look like you lost a lot of weight!"

Based on your stats, I think you're at the point where people you haven't seen since the start will actually notice, but not realize how significant it is ... ie, not be sure if it's your normal up and downs, if it's intentional, if it's part of a big change. I'm not one to think, 'they're noticing, they're just being nice' (my relatives are all blunt) but there is a point right before it's obvious, where people notice but are unsure if this is a thing or not.


**Some people's 10 lb weight loss will be noticeable, of course, if they are small people to start.

Rosinante
05-28-2009, 02:10 PM
Yup, I just crave validation - just once! Must address that.
I certainly don't want constant comments and I can live without the one I got when I made 136 a few years ago: 'So have you finished your chemotherapy?'. I kid you not.

Arctic Mama
05-28-2009, 03:56 PM
It's so frustrating when people don't notice a loss, but that in no way lessens the magnitude of your achievement. You rock!

WildThings
05-28-2009, 08:03 PM
I bet a lot of them noticed but didn't bring it up. I have lost close to as much as you and was getting frustrated no one had noticed yet. I was sitting in the kitchen at my office the other day and could here three people in my office discussing food (no one else seems to notice how easy it is through our walls, maybe I have really good ears). But the one women mentioned how healthy I eat and that it's really paying off. The other two commented that they had noticed I had lost weight but didn't want to make me uncomfortable mentioning it. Good thing they weren't saying anything bad :)

time2lose
05-28-2009, 11:30 PM
Ailidh,

I bet they did notice but were just afraid to say something. We saw your pictures and there is a BIG difference. I just spent a week with my husband's family and not one person said a thing. I think they had to notice but who knows.

We could all wear necklaces with our before picture in them. You know, those badge necklaces like you get at conferences. Hi, my name is Cheryl and here is how I looked 60 pounds ago!

Rosinante
05-29-2009, 03:27 AM
We could all wear necklaces with our before picture in them. You know, those badge necklaces like you get at conferences. Hi, my name is Cheryl and here is how I looked 60 pounds ago!

:D:D:D

Rosinante
05-29-2009, 10:57 AM
Have you been measured for a new bra lately? To me, that was when people started noticing/saying stuff ~ once I finally went out and got a bra that fit. (It took 60 lbs though.)

Thanks for that, that really made me think.
It's taken a bit of ploughing through the old posts but I found that when I bought these new ones I was so proud of, it was 16.5lbs ago! And there I've been blaming the washing machine for doing something to them so they don't fit as well!

Gonna give it about 10 more days, then I'm going to find a proper lingerie shop to get fitted in, ready for Spain.

Fancy forgetting that I'm continuing to lose!!!! Augh!

Windchime
05-29-2009, 11:03 AM
That's really funny because when DCHound mentioned that you might need a new bra, I thought, "That can't be it; she just bought a new bra a few weeks ago." Time sure flies!

TJFitnessDiva
05-29-2009, 12:00 PM
It is frustrating but it will come in time...then it seems like everyone you come in contact with notices & you either love all the attention or you squirm wishing they wouldn't have said anything...or a good mixture of both ;)

Your time will come girlie!! :hug:

Kimmie1989
05-29-2009, 12:29 PM
Jab said it best: "I've always been heavy...different levels of heavy but never thin". THAT is the reason why people may not notice your losses right away. People tend to notice big, drastic changes. So if a person who has 100 pounds to lose drops 30 lbs, it will not be nearly as noticeable as someone who drops 30 lbs that only had 50 pounds to lose! If you are still in the overweight or obese catergory, people will likely still see you that way even if you have dropped a bunch of weight. But don't let that deter you...... We all have to go through these annoying stages of our journey before our goals can be reached.