20-Somethings - Taking compliments.




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ValRock
05-24-2009, 04:33 PM
I suck at this but I'm getting better at just smiling and saying "Thank you!" or "you look great too!"

But what do you say if the person who says "OMG you look great!" doesn't look great.... I feel awful but I don't know how else to say this! I saw a friend I hadn't seen in about 6 months and she looked like she'd gained a LOT of weight in that time. I didn't want to say "So do you!" because I knew she'd call my BS but I felt like a jerk being like "Thanks!" What do you say?


StringBean
05-24-2009, 04:45 PM
What about ''You're looking well!'' or "Great hair color" or "Nice earrings, where did you get them?". Maybe try to pick something about the person that you do like, cleverly steering clear of their weight issue. I know exactly what you mean, though!!

celiac21cgy
05-24-2009, 04:59 PM
i know what you mean. but i geuss i would rather people tell me i look great then the incident i had the other day. someone i hadnt seen in like a year walked up to me to inform me i looked fat. and they said it just like that. then proceeded to say to not take offense. yeah right!!!


ValRock
05-24-2009, 05:03 PM
What about ''You're looking well!'' or "Great hair color" or "Nice earrings, where did you get them?". Maybe try to pick something about the person that you do like, cleverly steering clear of their weight issue. I know exactly what you mean, though!!

That's what I did... Well I complimented her bag but afterwards I felt really bad :(.

StringBean
05-24-2009, 05:09 PM
Yeah, there's no easy way to get out of that kind of situation. Yikes!

shrinkingchica
05-24-2009, 09:13 PM
In that specific situation I think I would just say "Aww thanks so much! And you, wow! I love that top you are wearing! The color really suits you" or something. So this way it isn't a lie about her appearance and its a compliment at the same time.

And this time you have learned from your past "mistake" and you can compliment her bag or something at the start!
We live and we learn! :)

Thighs Be Gone
05-24-2009, 09:19 PM
I have started saying, "thank you, I appreciate you noticing..." and leaving it there....I would compliment them too if I sincerely thought they looked great and had a really great piece of jewelry or something...

It took me several months to take a compliment. I just FLAT wasn't accustomed to receiving them or believing them.

bananapancakes
05-24-2009, 09:59 PM
Just thank the person and say "It's great to see you again!", "Your hair has grown so long, it looks pretty!" something along those lines but, only if it's what yo truly feel. No sense in lying, if someone doesn't look great they why say they do? I'm sure that particular person knows they don't look great, maybe if people hadn't been saying to me "Hey, you look great!" which lead me to believe I didn't look TOO shabby, I would have did something sooner in regards to my weight. I'm just not one for sugar coating though. No sense in giving an empty compliment, it makes you look insencere.

Iconised Ghost
05-24-2009, 10:59 PM
Its really hard i know! I usually just say something like "thanks, ive been working hard on it". Just because they compliment you doesnt mean they have to get a compliment in return :P Usually for me, a compliment is a disguised "what have you been doing to look like that?" and so sauting "ive been working hard" lets them get to their point :D

Callie1983
05-26-2009, 12:03 PM
Do most people really expect a compliment in return? I would just say "Thank you" and I agree w/ Iconised Ghost, "I've been working really hard" is usually the next thing I say... or "It hasnt been easy." I recently fell in love with hot yoga, so that's usually my next line... "I've been doing hot yoga; have you heard of it? It's amazing!"

Kimmie1989
05-26-2009, 12:43 PM
I agree wholeheartedly with the post directly above mine: The person who gave you the compliment may not even be expecting to receive one in return! If a compliment is truly genuine, that means the person giving it didn't PLAN to give it... It was just completely off the cuff when they noticed something great about you.

So if you attempted to compliment them back in a fake sort of way, chances are the giver may notice! If someone compliments something about you, the most natural response would likely be to speak a tad bit more about the subject. There's no need to try extra hard to squeeze in a nice comment about the other person, if the statement seems in any way forced.

ValRock
05-26-2009, 12:45 PM
I never thought of that. I grew up in a twisted culture so I have trouble with a lot of social graces. It's taking me some time to be normal :P

Thank you for all the input!