General chatter - Relationships - the far away kind...




becki22
05-22-2009, 12:23 PM
Hey folks,
Well, what can I say. I'm in love. He's fantastic as well (I know I'm biased, but still!)
There's just one issue, and that's that he's on one side of the Atlantic while I'm stuck on this side. He's moving here, which is great, but if anyone else has been in an LDR (long distance relationship) you may understand a little better.

It's like....being single, but not. I can do what I like...but I would like to be with him. Sure, I can go out...but I'm not single. And the only contact we have is Chat, when timezones and commitments allow.

This represents a sort of outlet for me, I guess. I'm also going to channel some of frustrations into working out really really hard!

Please PM if you're in a similar situation, and want to vent, so's we don't bore other people!

Thank you, Becca xxx


JuliaDH
05-22-2009, 12:40 PM
Very similar to being married to a long distance truck driver! I am single when I please and part of a couple when I please. The hard part is sharing the pants when he gets home and wants a turn to be boss!

rochemist
05-22-2009, 12:50 PM
I have been in a LDR for over a year, doing the coast to coast thing. It's all one day at a time and learning how to entertain oneself. When we finally do settle it will be hard to give up some of my independence for sure. Vent away!


SmilesIowa
05-22-2009, 01:15 PM
I live in the US and dated someone in England so I completely get where you're coming from! We dated for over a year and a half that way. If you ever want to talk I'm here! :)

JerseyGyrl
05-22-2009, 01:41 PM
I've been in a LDR for 3Ĺ years...its all about good communication & trust. That being said, as with any relationship, it has its difficult moments, but...you work things out.

bucketwithapurpose
05-22-2009, 04:36 PM
I know what you're going through! I just got in a relationship with a great guy. We didn't see each other much except for on Christmas, but we used to talk EVERYDAY on myspace and message each other back and forth when we could. We finally got together in February.

He's in the navy and was deployed onto a boat in South Korea and he'll be traveling around that area and Australia until next year. Hasn't had access to a computer.

Haven't talked to him since. It's been 2 months, next month will be 3. The only thing I get to do is read the messages he used to send me, and the only thing he has to remember me by is a bracelet I made him that he put on his dog tags. It sucks, and when I tell my friends about my situation they usually feel a lot better about not being able to talk to their lovers on a daily basis. It's like "Well, it could be worse. Atleast I'm not bucket!" XD

I have a lot of trust in my boy, and he has a lot of trust in me. We said what we wanted to say before he was deployed so I know we'll stay faithful and I know that our feelings for each other won't dissipate. We'll see each other next year, and that's what I'm looking forward to the most.

It does feel like I'm single sometimes. We've never kissed, I can't flirt with him, I don't have anyone to hug, I don't have his kind words when I do something stupid or I'm in tears about something. It sucks. -shrug- But oh well. I knew what I was getting into when I entered the relationship.

I highly reccomend e-mails if your time zones are different. That way you can get a lot out, like how your day was and whatever you usually talk about, and all your feelings towards him, and he can do the same vice versa. PLUS you'll have something to read later on when he's not available to chat, as a nice reminder that you're in a great relationship. ;]

Hang in there. If you want to talk about it, you can message me! I hope that maybe my challenging LDR situation will make your LDR situation feel a lot better. XD

dutchgirl
05-22-2009, 05:37 PM
I have been in a long distance relationship for more than 7 years now and there are times when it really sucks. We do at least have the good fortune of being in the same time-zone, and we are both pretty independent types who were alone for a number of years before we got together.
We talk at least once daily on the phone and see each other on average every 3-4 weeks.
Still, when one or the other is having a tough time with things, it is awful being apart.

Stella
05-22-2009, 06:06 PM
I used to have a long distance relationship, with me in Germany and him in Scotland where I moved after a year and am now married to him. It must seem ridiculously close to you but to us, it was an issue, despite daily phone calls and monthly visits. You are single most of the time and go everywhere alone.

Looking back, it was quite romantic actually. THe time we did have together was always a holiday. We made it nice for each other, etc. I would not have wanted to have missed that, actually... :-)

TJFitnessDiva
05-22-2009, 06:26 PM
Very similar to being married to a long distance truck driver! I am single when I please and part of a couple when I please. The hard part is sharing the pants when he gets home and wants a turn to be boss!

lol that's exactly how I feel! It's hard to going from being solely in charge to sharing responsibility. I joke a lot and say I'm a single mom with financial backing....my husband is gone a lot (he inspects ships and it takes him all over the world) before this he was in the Marines while I was in college. LDR's are hard to adjust to & it's even harder adjusting to them when they are closer but it's not impossible :)

starfishkitty
05-29-2009, 01:25 AM
I know exactly how you feel. 3 years ago, I dated this guy from India in college. He turned out to be a real jerk, with a fiance back home, but through him I made a lot of cool friends, and one of his friends back home somehow became my email buddy.

Well, me and this guy got closer and closer and eventually he became my best friend. We sent emails back and forth whenever we needed a shoulder for something going on in our lives, when we were happy, when we were sad, etc. I can't even tell you the THOUSANDS of hours we spent happily chatting away on our webcams together. I'd never met anyone I meshed with so well, in humor, personality, thoughts, etc. However, we both knew it was just going to be friendship because of the distance thing (who the HECK knew when we'd actually get to meet one day?) and stayed just best friends for the first two years.

About a year and a half ago, after not getting to talk very much because the both of us were in a committed relationship to another for a few months during the same time... it's like something clicked and broke. We became 100% wrapped up in each other... but when I moved and we couldn't talk for a few months... it was torture. When I finally settled in my new place, I found out about international calling cards and it was all down hill from there. We spend about 3 to 4 hours a day on the phone together (since October) and we've finally given up the ghost of wanting and trying to see other people. It's just pointless.

And, finally, I've been saving up.... and I'm going to India for a month in December. :carrot:

I'm beyond nervous.... scared even.... especially because of my body... though I can't honestly say he hasn't seen most of it via webcam :o (ahem)..... I'm still just very freaked out. I care about him so much. But, as he's put it.... when we met and first started talking on webcam I was at my absolute heaviest (near 260) and he thought I was attractive even then. I've lost 30lbs since then, and I'm still losing. He always teases me and says that I get better every year.... so he considers me a "sound investment." hehe

Still.... the thought of December gives me alternating feelings of euphoria and I'm-about-to-pass-out anxiety feelings.

I've been in plenty of relationships... real ones, fake ones, friends with benefits ones, one night stands........ yet this one seems like 100% more real than any of them all rolled up together. I don't understand it.

All I know is that it feels like the other side of my heart is 7,500 miles away... and I'll be damned if I don't go try and figure it out. :love: Not to mention it'll be a pretty sweet vacation I've been looking forward to for a long time.... and I'll get to see a bunch of my college buddies again!!! :D

kiramira
05-29-2009, 01:07 PM
Hi there!
My DH and I spent so much time apart, that I considered us to be in a LDR. Either he was away on training for months at time, or I was away on training. Or he was away on job assignment, or I was. We calculate that we have spent approximately 70% of our time apart! Now we are both in the same home, in the same town, for the past year. So it CAN work, even if there are times that I half-wish he was back out on the road...does this make me a bad person...:o
Kira

TJFitnessDiva
05-29-2009, 01:21 PM
even if there are times that I half-wish he was back out on the road...does this make me a bad person...:o
Kira

No it doesn't make you a bad person :) Sometimes I feel that way about my DH too. Esp when he gets upset about me doing one of his "jobs".....heaven forbid I fix a leaky faucet, replace an o ring on a toilet or any other misc thing that breaks at home while he is home *sigh*

It's hard to describe but sometimes it feels as if you are living a double life. One as part as a couple and one functioning all by yourself. Blah :dizzy:

Freyja
05-30-2009, 09:09 AM
LDR are so hard sometimes, but trust me, as the other ladies here have pointed out they are so worth it at the same time :). I met my Beloved in college, and he lives in the North of the country, while I live in the South. Granted, it's not as far away as some people (Ladies who have navy/soilder/cross-atlantic men, I commend you :D) but since college ended and we moved back to our respective homes, its so hard to get the time to see each other.

MSN messenger is a godsend. We talk for hours. We text, we talk on the phone. I'm actually on my way up North tonight to see him (a 6/7hr drive awaits me :)) but he's worth the effort. As long as I live, he's always worth the effort.

No matter what the distance beckki, I'm so glad you've found someone. Once you're in love and have that amazing person, the distance doesn't seem that bad. A heart can always travel further even if your physical body can't :)

kelly315
05-30-2009, 09:22 AM
Cherish it while you can! I was in a LDR for about 1.5 years, and it was great. He was a great complement to my life. Then, we decided to move to live together, and it turned out we didn't really mesh very well in person (although we lived together for over a year). Oi.

rosiem
05-30-2009, 11:55 AM
No one has mentioned Skype! Free free free!

starfishkitty
05-30-2009, 12:31 PM
Once you're in love and have that amazing person, the distance doesn't seem that bad. A heart can always travel further even if your physical body can't :)

Cheers to that.... :hat:

janellody
05-30-2009, 12:36 PM
I had a LDR with my husband before he moved here to be with me. It was **** for me, all I wanted to do was hug and kiss him and do things with him, and I thought about him all day long pretty much... so for me it was either someone was moving or we just had to end things! Cuz I could NOT have a LDR for any longer! For me, dating someone means actually seeing them so I was just so depressed that I couldn't see the man I loved!

But now he is here and it's perfect <3 Amanda... good luck on your trip!! Nerves galore but it will totally be worth it! When I first saw my husband in the airport we both just barely talked and didn't touch or anything lol! But after 1 day we warmed up. It's weird because we had talked SO much.. like all night long after work, but then as soon as we saw each other it was like seeing a stranger! I am excited for you, you get a whole month!! We got 1 week the first time we met in person. :)

starfishkitty
05-30-2009, 09:35 PM
Awww... thank you Jane! :hug:

I'm definitely nervous.... but we're both feeling the exact same way. After 2 years of great friendship, then a year of THIS..... good God, I feel like I'm about to SCREAM if I can't hug him or kiss him or hold his hand! And he says that more than I do... ;)

It's just been such a wonderful relationship and journey with him... the fear isn't enough to hold me back from taking a chance with him. :)

It's so nice to know that it worked out for other people out there.... I take it you and your husband met online or something similar? :)

janellody
05-31-2009, 12:03 PM
Yep, we weren't even looking for each other but we found each other online, he was actually in a relationship when we met. We were friends online for about a year and eventually he was single and I was single and it started getting more serious!

I feel like meeting someone online, or on the phone, or something similar is actually a really good way to meet! We weren't blinded by looks but instead only had words and got to find out so much about each other before we even met in person. I knewhim way better than anyone I had dated offline.

Anyway, it IS exciting and it is exciting for me to hear others in a similar situation as we were. You will love it I'm sure!!

starfishkitty
05-31-2009, 02:49 PM
Yeah, totally! It was just about the same way for us, other than the fact that it wasn't just him that we in a relationship... but both of us with different people throughout the years. We talked to each other about those people.. laughed and supported and (in my case) cried... etc.

And you know what... I'm starting to agree about the whole online/phone thing being almost a better way in some ways. I think in our culture today too much is based on sexuality and physicality to allow us to get to know people (and I'm TOTALLY guilty of allowing all my relationships to turn out that way as well), truly for who they are inside, first. We all know the days of "courting" are over.... and in a way, this kind of did the same thing. Allowed thoughts, and feelings, to be shared before other things came in the way. Just random thoughts of mine though... :)

SunshineCA
06-10-2009, 03:37 PM
I've been friends with someone for about 5 years now. We never looked at it as anything but platonic, or so I thought. However, I recently realized that I truly care for him in "that" way and he's been feeling that way for some time.

We've both been involved in relationships but mine has recently ended a few months ago. I'm over it but am still healing from it after 3.5 years. The LDR is best for me right now but I know he wants to take it to another level. He lives in Louisiana and I'm here in California. The biggest dilemma, I think anyway,is neither of us are currently willing to relocate.

As suggested above, taking it one day at a time is best. It's been great thus far mainly because we've had a LDR as friends for so long. We have plans to get together this summer and I'm truly excited about that. Stay tuned and let's keep this thread going. :)

nelie
06-10-2009, 03:48 PM
I've been in two long distance relationships. One of them lasted a year and I really had no issue with it being long distance (and actually liked it that way), he wanted to progress so we split.

Then I swore I'd never be in another long distance relationship again. A long time friend of mine had recently moved back to be with his family but we kept in touch and talked regularly, then talked daily... then hours every day and then well we started a relationship with him visiting me every few weeks. We both hated the distance and after 3 months, we made plans for me to move. Then in less than 2 months after that, I moved. Then a little over a year after I moved, we got married.

SunshineCA
06-10-2009, 03:52 PM
I'm happy it worked out for you Nelie! :)

starfishkitty
06-10-2009, 11:11 PM
Me too! It's good to know that it can actually work for some of us! :) Gives me hope..... :) I had a little crying jag the other day cos I missed him so much and he didn't pick up his phone (passed out after work) when I was having an especially emotional moment (lots of stuff going on in the family right now) and then we had a big talk later that day.... and I cried a bit about the 7000 miles between us. He calmed me down (as usual) and then sent me this email the next day while I was at work.....

"On a more serious note, thank you for being in my life. You know we were talkin about the distance of 7000 miles that we have between us, but you know what, I donít care. I donít give a damn about distance as long as you reside in my heart and in my soul. I am blessed to have you in my life Sunshine..."

Seriously.

How could I ever doubt a guy that loves me like that? 7000 miles or not?? :cloud9:

SunshineCA
06-11-2009, 12:36 AM
I am blessed to have you in my life Sunshine..."

Of course I hear this quite often as well! :lol:

But seriously, sounds like you have a great guy there. :)

flatiron
06-11-2009, 03:08 AM
I have never seen a long distance relationship work although I am sure there ARE some that do but I have never seen any.

And I think some people like the idea of being in a relationship but not if they are together every day.

My best friend is a prison guard and he says he sees it every day where someone in the prison is in a relationship with someone on the outside and it may last 5, 10 years but when the person in prison gets out it doesn't work out.

I myself would not be in a LDR because what is the point? Isn't the point of even BEING in a relationship is to have someone right there with you?

And what would could keep two people apart? Job? Home? School?

If two people want to be together they will find a way!

My mother lived in Japan and didn't speak much English and my father was a farm boy living in Illinois and neither had money or family support in fact both of there familes DISOWNED them for marrying outside of their race and they STILL found a way to be together!

I wish I had a dollar for all the people I've known (I was in the military) who had LDR for years and when they finally got together in didn't last a year.

I know there are exceptions to the rule and no doubt people will post after me telling me how THEIR LDR worked I am speaking on the whole.

I want my sweetie right next to me and if they were on the otherside of the world I would get there if I had to hitchhike!

flatiron
06-11-2009, 03:09 AM
I have never seen a long distance relationship work although I am sure there ARE some that do but I have never seen any.

And I think some people just like the idea of being in a relationship but not if they have to be together every day.

My best friend is a prison guard and he says he sees it every day where someone in the prison is in a relationship with someone on the outside and it may last 5, 10 years but when the person in prison gets out it doesn't work out.

I myself would not be in a LDR because what is the point? Isn't the point of even BEING in a relationship is to have someone right there with you?

And what would could keep two people apart? Job? Home? School?

If two people want to be together they will find a way!

My mother lived in Japan and didn't speak much English and my father was a farm boy living in Illinois and neither had money or family support in fact both of there families DISOWNED them for marrying outside of their race and they STILL found a way to be together!

I wish I had a dollar for all the people I've known (I was in the military) who had LDR for years and when they finally got together in didn't last a year.

I know there are exceptions to the rule and no doubt people will post after me telling me how THEIR LDR worked I am speaking on the whole.

I want my sweetie right next to me and if they were on the other side of the world I would get there if I had to hitchhike!

nelie
06-11-2009, 10:59 AM
I myself would not be in a LDR because what is the point? Isn't the point of even BEING in a relationship is to have someone right there with you?

And what would could keep two people apart? Job? Home? School?

If two people want to be together they will find a way!



Well I posted before you talking about my husband and myself :) The point of a LDR is that there is someone who doesn't live where you live but you really think you could be compatible.

My husband and I knew eachother for years, worked in the same office, etc. He moved away but we were still friends but because of other personal reasons, neither of us had interest in being in a relationship with anybody. In time though and as we became closer friends, both of us changed our minds. There was a lot of trepidation and some anxiety about one of us uprooting, about living together, etc. I already said but after 3 months, we made plans to have one of us move (me).

Of course I love my husband more each day and we've been married for almost 3 years.

I also talked about a previous relationship I had in which I liked the distance. I liked someone who wasn't there all the time but who I could talk to on the phone frequently and go visit/hang out with every few weeks, go on trips with and spend the holidays with. I probably would've gone on for much longer but he wanted something different which is ok.

SunshineCA
06-11-2009, 11:56 AM
I honestly can't say if LDR work or not. I've never experienced this before. As friends it's worked out for the last 5 years. But now that this seems to be turning into something else, a whole new world is opening up for us.

As with any kind of relationship, time is important. If we take one day at a time we never know what may happen. It's almost like we have to get to know each other all over again. I'm willing to see how this pans out. Only God knows what the future holds. :)

starfishkitty
06-11-2009, 10:16 PM
I've had another LDR, as well, a couple of years ago. Me and an online friend of mine had an LDR years and years back, but then went our own seperate ways and stayed friends. When I hit a bad spot two years ago, he was in the process of a divorce and wanted a roommate. I really needed an escape from my life at that point, so I went along with it and succumbed to his pressure to become his girlfriend once I got there, though deep down inside I knew I wasn't feeling it with him (in fact, he annoyed the CRAP outta me!). It lasted about five months before he broke up with me because I wasn't able to give myself over emotionally and physically the way he wanted me to, and to be frank I just couldnt' help it. I didn't feel it for him.

But... with this guy.... it's like the complete opposite. The connection, bond, whatever... is strong I've never experienced its like, not even in my numerous and various types of other real life relationships over the years.

So why not? What do I have to lose?

Isn't there some kind of saying out there along the lines of "Don't regret what you've done, just regret what you didn't?"

I kind of look at my LDR as something along those lines. As wonderful as we are together, as friends and whatnot these past few years.... and as much as we've come to truly love and care for each other..... it just wouldn't be right to not give it a chance. I mean.... how many relationships do people have that they AREN'T even in LDR's and they don't work out. So what's the difference? If you love and care about someone, down the street or the other side of the world..... why shouldn't you give it a chance and see where it goes.

Better to have loved and lost, than never loved at all.... :)

Sunshine - I do have a great guy, and I know it. I couldn't ask for better or different! :cloud9:

SunshineCA
06-12-2009, 03:22 AM
Very well stated. :)

Hang in there and take it one day at a time. Or one "cherished" day at a time, I should say. :)

starfishkitty
06-12-2009, 11:58 AM
Absolutely, positively cherished. :)

SunshineCA
06-12-2009, 10:40 PM
We had a little "hiccup" last night that resulted in tears and a deep need of one of us jumping on the next plane!!! :stress: I went to bed in not such a good way! He worked the night shift last night and didn't fair well either.

Fortunately, we had a "reality check" conversation today. We realized all of this was based on the fact that we truly love each other, need to see each other, missing the **** out of each other and so on! The ultimate conclusion was that we need to take the advice we're always telling others to heart. To take one day at a time and to go from there.

I feel much better today. I was very busy on an assignment and was not able to receive his calls and texts. The alone time was good for both of us in this sense.

All I know is the love is real. Whatever happens from here on out is a mystery to us. As of now, we take this journey together one day at a time. :cofdate:

As always....stay tuned! :val2:

starfishkitty
06-12-2009, 11:20 PM
Oh god, those are the WORST nights to get through, seriously!

Me and mine have had several good ones over the past 6 months that resulted in that "reality check" talk, tears on both sides (and THAT'S saying something for a guy from a macho culture to do!), etc.... and of course, realizing that literally 90% of it is stemming from our frustration of wanting to be together, in person. *sigh* Each time it's happened, I've felt like my whole world was knocked for a loop during the hours (or days) that it took to recover and get over it completely. Like.... literally, it felt like everything was upside down, someone had removed my intestines, and I break into tears at any given moment including at work. And he always feels the same way. :(

For some reason... when we're fighting... it's like the world will never be right again unless we figure it out. Seriously. In all the many relationships I've ever had.... never felt anything near that!

One thing we've noticed though... each time this happens... for some odd reason... we're closer than ever. We kinda look at it as a learning process. Each obstacle we hurtle, the stronger our bond is.... each thing we get over... the more we understand and love about each other. Granted, there are a few things that we've come to impasse' over, but I figure that everything comes with time. In fact... there's so few of those, I figure I should probably count my blessings.

Sunshine..... one day at a time chica, one day at a time! When will you guys be seeing each other next?

SunshineCA
06-14-2009, 12:30 AM
Sunshine..... one day at a time chica, one day at a time! When will you guys be seeing each other next?

Once again, I totally relate to everything you posted. :)

We didn't have plans to see each other again until late July/early August. However, after our "hiccup the other day, we're trying to hook up within the next few weeks. We were on Southwests' website last night. Checked back tonight and they've already increased their rates!!!:dizzy:

His birthday is next week and I want to be his birthday present!!! :val2:

SunshineCA
06-14-2009, 12:35 AM
The weird thing is the last time we saw each other was as friends only. This will be the first time we're together as more than that. I can only imagine what to expect. Excitement is not enough to say how I feel. :D

nelie
06-14-2009, 09:11 AM
Sunshine - You bring back a lot of memories for me. When my husband and I were talking at the very beginning of our relationship and hadn't seen eachother other than friends, I was very tentative. I probably hadn't seen him in nearly a year and there definitely wasn't any attraction between us at that point. I knew how I felt on the phone towards him but I wasn't sure if once I saw him again if I'd feel like he was just a friend or if I'd truly feel more for him. Once I saw him I knew though that I cared/loved him as soon as I saw him.

starfishkitty
06-15-2009, 11:36 AM
Ooohhh... I'm so excited for you Sunshine!!! :D

Are you definitely going to go then? You HAVE to keep us posted about what happens....! I'm so rooting for you! :cheer2: Can't wait to hear what happens. :)

And I feel you on the plane ticket thing... I'm going to be buying mine by this time next month, or Aug 1st at the latest... and my god, they're already about $1400. I keep on checking and praying they don't go up anymore! Yeesh...

SunshineCA
06-17-2009, 12:43 AM
Sunshine - You bring back a lot of memories for me. When my husband and I were talking at the very beginning of our relationship and hadn't seen eachother other than friends, I was very tentative. I probably hadn't seen him in nearly a year and there definitely wasn't any attraction between us at that point. I knew how I felt on the phone towards him but I wasn't sure if once I saw him again if I'd feel like he was just a friend or if I'd truly feel more for him. Once I saw him I knew though that I cared/loved him as soon as I saw him.

It's good to know there's hope. I so don't feel that way right now. :( We had another "hiccup" yesterday which resulted in us not speaking to each other all day! He cut his phone off and I was absolutely miserable! :( We spoke early this morning but it was really awkard. We haven't been in touch since. :?:

SunshineCA
06-17-2009, 12:47 AM
Ooohhh... I'm so excited for you Sunshine!!! :D

Are you definitely going to go then? You HAVE to keep us posted about what happens....! I'm so rooting for you! :cheer2: Can't wait to hear what happens. :)

And I feel you on the plane ticket thing... I'm going to be buying mine by this time next month, or Aug 1st at the latest... and my god, they're already about $1400. I keep on checking and praying they don't go up anymore! Yeesh...

Thanks! :)

I honestly don't know where we are right now. At our last conversation this morning, it didn't feel very good. I actually text him this mornig after we hung up and I wasn't very nice. I typed, "After all this, I'm going to bump you back down to 'friend only' status!!!" I haven't heard from him since. :( Yet I'm stubborn enough not to contact him either! :nono:

SunshineCA
06-17-2009, 11:17 PM
We finally spoke to each other, well via text, since the ugly comments I made. It was kind of a so-so conversation. I was on an assignment when he first text me so I wasn't able to call him right away. When I finally was free to call, his phone was off again. I left him a message to call 'cuz we need to talk. Haven't heard from him as of yet. today

nelie
06-18-2009, 11:26 AM
My one piece of advice is that sometimes you will make eachother angry but don't ever hang up the phone. Don't ever refuse to talk to eachother. You can certainly say something like "I don't think right now is the right time to talk".

Although I think this is an agreement that you both have to make. I think it is counterproductive to a long distance relationship to refuse to talk. As I said, its ok to take time to yourself but express that in a discussion.

SunshineCA
06-20-2009, 12:46 AM
Thanks Nelie! :)

We've spoken since the last time I posted. We hashed everything out and have squashed our disagreement. :) I think it all boiled down to the frustrations of not being able to see each other. We've made plans to see each other more often. I even have a few conferences/workshops scheduled within Louisiana and neighboring states. He's working on the same.

I was ready to give up on the LDR but because we've been friends for so long, I couldn't see life without him. Now that we've crossed the bridge to more than just a friendship, I value our relationship even more. :)

Again, one day at a time is what's going to help us survive. We're going to see where each day takes us into the future. As of this moment, all I know is that I truly love him and he loves me.

I'm glad I was able to express myself by posting here with others who understand what it's like to go through this. No matter what, we have to keep this thread going. :)

starfishkitty
06-20-2009, 10:57 AM
I was ready to give up on the LDR but because we've been friends for so long, I couldn't see life without him. Now that we've crossed the bridge to more than just a friendship, I value our relationship even more. :)


I know EXACTLY what you mean when you say that! I feel the same way! It's almost scary though, because when I think of us breaking it off relationship wise (god forbid that ever happens) I really get despondent thinking of losing him from my life. Unfortunately, by taking a friendship to the next level, the chance of losing that person from your life completely rears its ugly head.

I literally get that panic attack feeling inside when I think of losing him!

I'm glad that you guys worked it out Sunshine! And like everyone else said, the whole fight and hang up thing really IS sucky when you're in an LDR, but me and my guy are way, way guilty of that. Me much more than him. And we've had fights where it only lasted for one call and we straightened it out by the next.... and a few really hard ones that definitely took a few days to get our feelings out completely and make up. Those awkward, so-so calls that you were describing are horrible! You just feel so miserable and bottled up inside that you want to scream! At the same time, the whole LDR aspect of it seems to come out even more pronounced..... it always seems like GOD it would just be SO much better if you could just reach over and touch them or something. *sigh* :cry:

SunshineCA
06-20-2009, 03:41 PM
Exactly!!

Today is his BDAY and I HATE that I can't be there with him. He decided to work today. lol I just hung up with him. We've been texting, e-mailing and talking on the phone since he showed up at 5-ish this AM. :)

jellyfishies
06-22-2009, 05:06 AM
My husband and I started out long distance. We lived apart for the first 9 months of our relationship. Our relationship is still long distance on occasion (if you want to call it that) because he is in the military and gets deployed. It can work if you really want it to.

rochemist
06-22-2009, 09:50 AM
I got to say Priceline. I have named my own price over and over and thats how I did so many trips with my LDR, most the time across country was under $300

starfishkitty
06-22-2009, 11:26 AM
I'm always afraid to try priceline for the mere fact that you're not quite sure of the travel itinerary until you've actually bid on it... that makes me kinda nervous!

rochemist
06-23-2009, 09:37 AM
I'm always afraid to try priceline for the mere fact that you're not quite sure of the travel itinerary until you've actually bid on it... that makes me kinda nervous!

You're still picking the dates. And the hotels I bid by stars, I have gotten so many 4 star hotels for less than $50. I love it, the service is wonderful and the money I save I can use for sightseeing and buy things like the silly pictures of me you see in my avatar and profile.

SunshineCA
06-26-2009, 04:21 AM
It can work if you really want it to.

Thank you for saying this! :)

We definitely want to make it work but "reality" hits us smack dab in the face every time!!!! However, I know that we want this to work and that's all we can go on right now.

We're looking at every opportunity we can to be on either side of the country. So far I've already missed his birthday and he will probably miss mine. :(

What holds us together? One day at a time. It's hard as **** BUT each day conquered pushes us a day further. :)

Hang in there ladies! Posting here truly helps me get through. :) Hopefully it helps all of you in some small way. :)

starfishkitty
06-27-2009, 10:11 PM
What holds us together? One day at a time. It's hard as **** BUT each day conquered pushes us a day further. :)

Totally. :)

And each day further you get... the more you know it's worth it because you've stuck it out obviously for some reason... i.e. how much you care about the other person.

I figure if you really stick it out with someone through so much trouble and hardship to be together.... you DEFINITELY are with someone who truly cares for you and that you care for back. What more can you ask for???

Yesterday was me and his 3 year friendship anniversary... i.e. 3 years to the day that he first sent me a friend request on the forum that we met and chatted with each other.... and so I sent him a beautifully formatted email called "The 36 Reasons I Love You".... 1 reason for every month we've know each other.... and he nearly cried. He's actually getting it printed out and made into a poster for his apartment! LOL!

It's nice to have someone who truly acknowledges the effort I make.... :) I think the long distance relationship/courting/loving really helps people learn how to communicate with and appreciate the other..... I like that!

CyndiM
06-27-2009, 10:24 PM
I'm late to the party but was in a LDR for 2.5 years. When we met I was in the last throws of a particularly crappy relationship and wasn't in any hurry to jump into another relationship. After 2.5 years of chat, email, late night calls and occasional visits we moved in together. That was 9 years ago and we are getting married this September. LDRs really can work out when things click, just like any relationship.

starfishkitty
06-28-2009, 08:56 AM
I like the "just like any relationship" part..... you're so right Cyndi!

SunshineCA
06-30-2009, 01:38 PM
I'm late to the party but was in a LDR for 2.5 years. When we met I was in the last throws of a particularly crappy relationship and wasn't in any hurry to jump into another relationship. After 2.5 years of chat, email, late night calls and occasional visits we moved in together. That was 9 years ago and we are getting married this September. LDRs really can work out when things click, just like any relationship.

Congratulations Cyndi!!! :val1:

SunshineCA
06-30-2009, 01:42 PM
Amanda: I LOVE the 36 Reasons I Love You gift! That was very sweet! :)

PammyFl
06-30-2009, 06:55 PM
Im a little late too but I am also in a LDR. I was at the time living with my ex when my co workers got me hooked on a game. He was just a friendly person in the game until my bf at the time stopped talking to me started staying out late, ignoring me, yelling at me, and controlling me to the fact of turning off my phone and internet and cable. I lived depressed and playing the game was the only bit of fun i was even having anymore. He would always make me feel better even if it was a 5 min conversation in game. Our lease was up on our apartment so we were going to move out and save up our money and buy something. Well turns out on our 4 year anniversary he basically stops talking to me and not only that he ignored me for over 3 months! I was heartbroken! 4 years was a long time to spend with someone and then for someone to just drop me like that? I had gotten the guys number from the game and called him one night for someone to talk to, and it was like finally someone understood me. We talked for months and he would always try to convince me to come visit him, but I was too scared i would be rejected because of my appearance from the head down seeing as that's the only pictures I had sent him. Finally after a year had gone bye he finally convinced me to come visit him. I was completely scared to death! I had never been on a plane I had never met him he had never met me and now im going to his place. I got on the plane shaking and nervous thru the whole flight. I was soo happy when i finally landed that i think i was less nervous about actually meeting him. I walked towards baggage claim and there he was he hugged me and it just felt right. It was a little awkward but the moment we got in the car together it was like we had known each other this whole time. We have now been together for over a year and half and let me tell you its the most amazing thing to ever happen to me. It sucks to only get to see each other every 2-3 months but it is worth EVERYTHING to me. Im actually leaving Friday to spend the month with him. I plan to move eventually a be a permanent Chicago resident. (I never thought i would say that) So I do believe that LDR's can work and they do work!!

starfishkitty
06-30-2009, 11:18 PM
Sunshine - Thanks! I just seriously try to do little things that I can come up with for him, for us, that keep the love there and keep him realizing just how much I really do love him and how much a part of my everyday life he really is, no matter how far away. And he does the same, in his guy ways. :)

Pammy - Glad to hear from you!!! :) I can't believe what a dog your ex is.... did he ever come back and tell you why he did that?? Not that you probably cared, but I'm kinda curious (the jerk). As for your current love... that's just so awesome! What game did you guys play? :) I met an old ex of mine on a game years and years and YEARS ago... we were literally 15 and 17. What part of the country are you from?? I'm here near Chicago as well... :)

SunshineCA
06-30-2009, 11:37 PM
What an awesome love story Pammy! :)

Wishing you the best of luck! :)

PammyFl
07-01-2009, 11:52 AM
Star- He did finally admit to being a total jerk and claimed he still loved me but I was so done with him. I later found out that he is engaged only 10 months AFTER we broke up (SHE CAN HAVE HIM). So it makes me wonder if she was in the picture the whole time but I just recently found pics of him and his so called fiance on myspace and let me tell you he is HUGE! HAHAHAHAHAHA (Sorry i just cant help myself) The game was GTA San Andreas Multi Player. We Super old but was sooo much fun at the time. Were big gamers and we are constantly jumping from game to game.. You know what they say the couple that plays together stays together haha. Im from Florida so were not over seas or anything but its still a two and half hour flight to see him :/ BUTTTTTTT Im leaving FRIDAY and i cant wait!!!!!! :carrot::carrot::carrot:

PammyFl
07-01-2009, 11:53 AM
Thanks Sun! I couldn't be happier!

PammyFl
07-01-2009, 11:53 AM
Thanks Sun! I couldn't be happier!

PammyFl
07-01-2009, 11:56 AM
Thanks Sun! I couldn't be happier

SunshineCA
07-01-2009, 12:19 PM
Thanks Sun! I couldn't be happier!

You're welcome times 3! :lol:

starfishkitty
07-01-2009, 12:24 PM
Hey... whatever works for you guys, that's all that matters! :) As long as you guys are on the same level, it'll work. The ex that I spoke about before (that I met gaming) turned out to be into a whole new level of gaming by time we ended up getting together (literally almost 9 years after we met online) that it just frustrated the **** out of me. I'd have maybe an hour or two out of work to spend time with him, and he STILL wouldn't get pry his a$$ off of WoW to even have some quality time. That relationship bombed REAL quick. lol Luckily... the one I'm dating now is a gamer as well.... but he's into living outside of the (computer) box than in it, like me. We're at the same level of gaming, I'd say. ;) Enjoy it, but don't live only for it. hehe

As for your ex...... maaaaaan... I coulda seen that coming! hah And serves him right, I'm glad he got fat. ;)

PammyFl
07-01-2009, 02:13 PM
Yeah one good thing about us is that we know how to play and still have a life instead of spending hours and hours playing a game. It gives us something to do while we are so far apart that we can be "together" in a game. Yeah I was sooo happy when I found those pics of him it totally made me feel like a total skinny biotch haha

starfishkitty
07-01-2009, 02:52 PM
I kinda have an ex like that... I was only slightly overweight at the time that we met and he was absolutely drop dead gorgeous with twinkling blue eyes, blond hair with gorgeous sun streaked highlights..... AND he was a male stripper, so you know he was kickin'... ;) Well, he turned out to be the most ignorant, meanest, crudest, bipolar douchebag you'll ever meet in your life and was not only physically violent but beyond verbally violent as well. I finally gave him a one way ticket (literally, a bus ticket) out of my life and he ended up marrying this ginormous, ugly fat cow of a hillbilly.... and apparently her lifestyle rubbed off on him and he gained about 100lbs. It gives me pleasure tingles every time I see his Myspace pics.... (where he has the nerve to send me messages like "You still find me attractive, don't you?" and I'm like yeah..... you're TOTALLY hot in that cowboy hat that's waaaay too small for your fat, dumb head)

What can I say... I'm just not mature enough to not enjoy life's little vengeful evil pleasures.... ;) And I'm cool with that!

JustSharing83
07-01-2009, 08:34 PM
My husband and I lived apart for the first year and a half of our relationship, spending about one week out of every month together.

After finishing college, he moved in with me. I was so nervous before the actual move, I hadn't had many relationships and nothing serious before him and I had certainly never lived with a guy. As soon as he arrived, it all just felt right. Now, a few years later, we are married and I can't imagine my days without him.

Sooo long distance relationships are hard, but they can be so worth it as long as you're both honest and trust one another. For me, it was also a great way to ease into a relationship... I was so shy and inexperienced that not being around each other constantly let me keep my comfort during those initial months and really discover what I wanted in life. :)

Good luck to all ladies in LDR's, I hope things work out for the best!!

SunshineCA
07-01-2009, 10:06 PM
I haven't mentioned it until now but my LDR and friendship is over! :( Not sure if anyone noticed I haven't posted anything about 'us'. It's been hard to deal with for a few days but I feel better. The hardest part is missing the 5 year friendship. I think that's what hurts the most. We were always there for each other as friends but once we crossed that line into something more, it became a different beast.

I continue to post here because I have a new belief in LDR. Even though mine didn't work out, I now believe that it can. Especially reading all of your stories. :)

Good luck to all of you who are making a go at this. Hang in there and know that it is worth the effort to make it work. :)

starfishkitty
07-01-2009, 10:48 PM
Oh wow Sunshine... I'm so SO sorry to hear that!!! It seriously makes me so sad to think of.... what happened if you don't mind me asking? Was it the distance? Or being apart? :(

God, the very thought terrifies me... :( Especially the part where you're talking about losing your 5 year friendship..... have you guys decided definitely that you don't want to talk/be friends anymore??? :(

starfishkitty
07-07-2009, 04:57 AM
Oh my lord....... today is one of those days that just.... argh! Makes the whole LDR thing SUCK.

So my guy moved to a new apartment recently when he and his roommates all decided to part ways. He was excited, because he'd been tired of living with them and us having our cam time all messed up depending on who was home, etc. We were so excited when he found a new place AND his internet company provided to that neighborhood (it's not as easy for them in India as it is for us here, a lot of places are still dead zones internet wise). Seemed like all was going to be gravy.

So, today, his internet company calls him up and tells him AFTER he's moved, signed all the contracts, bought home stuff, etc..... that they can't, after all, provide to his area. And no other company does that he knows of. Though he says he's going to work on it and see what he can do..... it looks like we might not be able to talk online, or see each other.... for god knows how long! :( :cry:

Seriously, I know we'll get through it..... but my god, this is seriously SERIOUSLY horrible. We're both so depressed I can't even explain. ****, I get depressed after not being able to talk to him, see him on cam, at least once a week. And..... never?

God. :( I'm so messed up over this. *sigh*

SunshineCA
07-07-2009, 05:11 AM
Oh wow Sunshine... I'm so SO sorry to hear that!!! It seriously makes me so sad to think of.... what happened if you don't mind me asking? Was it the distance? Or being apart? :(

God, the very thought terrifies me... :( Especially the part where you're talking about losing your 5 year friendship..... have you guys decided definitely that you don't want to talk/be friends anymore??? :(

It was distance, being apart and a host of other things. :dizzy:

He's been trying to contact me but I haven't responded. I've been totally ignoring him. It's a long story but it was time to part ways. The hardest part is the loss of the friendship. I don't think we'll ever get that back. :shrug:

SunshineCA
07-07-2009, 05:13 AM
Oh my lord....... today is one of those days that just.... argh! Makes the whole LDR thing SUCK.

So my guy moved to a new apartment recently when he and his roommates all decided to part ways. He was excited, because he'd been tired of living with them and us having our cam time all messed up depending on who was home, etc. We were so excited when he found a new place AND his internet company provided to that neighborhood (it's not as easy for them in India as it is for us here, a lot of places are still dead zones internet wise). Seemed like all was going to be gravy.

So, today, his internet company calls him up and tells him AFTER he's moved, signed all the contracts, bought home stuff, etc..... that they can't, after all, provide to his area. And no other company does that he knows of. Though he says he's going to work on it and see what he can do..... it looks like we might not be able to talk online, or see each other.... for god knows how long! :( :cry:

Seriously, I know we'll get through it..... but my god, this is seriously SERIOUSLY horrible. We're both so depressed I can't even explain. ****, I get depressed after not being able to talk to him, see him on cam, at least once a week. And..... never?

God. :( I'm so messed up over this. *sigh*

This is absolutely horrible!!!! :nono:

I hope he's able to find another company that can provide service. :) Hang in there!!! :hug:

starfishkitty
07-07-2009, 11:36 AM
I know.... :(

It's like this ironic twist of Fate that both of us cannot believe happened. As he said.... it's a very helpless feeling. I mean, what the heck can we do about it??? :(

SunshineCA
07-08-2009, 02:54 AM
I'm so sorry this happened to you guys! :hug: I believe something's gonna work out soon. :)

I'm curious. Have either of you decided to relocate to be together? I see you're going to India in December, but is this for good or for a visit?

starfishkitty
07-08-2009, 12:42 PM
This is totally just for a visit. This will be our first time meeting in person, despite the literal thousands upon thousands of hours we've spent online and talking on the phone for the past 3 years.

Not to mention he's got his job there, I've got some serious family commitments here for the next few years. We've both agreed that if we want to continue seeing each other after our vacation together.... we'll get together twice a year for a year or two until he comes to the US for his master's degree. From there.... POSSIBLY living together. Not sure though. Trying to take it one day at a time (which is hard, because we're both passionate, jealous, I want to be committed but I don't types) lol

But...... we've just seem to work well together. So..... I guess only the future can tell where we'll end up. :)

L R K
07-08-2009, 12:47 PM
I was in a very similar situation me in Sydney, Australia and my now Fiance in Toronto, Canada. As you can see everything worked out fine :)

I know it can be down right tough at times but if you truly love each other you will get through it. Things always seem to work out with love :) (sooo corny I know!) but it's hard for me to be able to say anything negative about my experience because everything worked out well.

SunshineCA
07-08-2009, 03:38 PM
This is totally just for a visit. This will be our first time meeting in person, despite the literal thousands upon thousands of hours we've spent online and talking on the phone for the past 3 years.

Not to mention he's got his job there, I've got some serious family commitments here for the next few years. We've both agreed that if we want to continue seeing each other after our vacation together.... we'll get together twice a year for a year or two until he comes to the US for his master's degree. From there.... POSSIBLY living together. Not sure though. Trying to take it one day at a time (which is hard, because we're both passionate, jealous, I want to be committed but I don't types) lol

But...... we've just seem to work well together. So..... I guess only the future can tell where we'll end up. :)

Exactly, one day at a time. Other than the internet problem he's having, you guys are making it work. :)
I'm hoping he'll be able to get back online soon.

Although I'm no longer in a LDR, I still enjoy popping into this thread. I'm rooting for all of you guys. :val1:

starfishkitty
07-12-2009, 04:02 AM
Thanks Sunshine.... that really means a lot to me. :)

I'm excited... I made my hotel reservation deposits last night! Whoo hoo! :)

SunshineCA
07-12-2009, 04:19 AM
Thanks Sunshine.... that really means a lot to me. :)

I'm excited... I made my hotel reservation deposits last night! Whoo hoo! :)

No thanks needed! :hug:

Hotel reservations are just another step closer to being with your sweetie! :D

Elladorine
07-12-2009, 01:55 PM
I was in a long distance relationship for nearly a year with a good friend I'd met and only had known online. It was one of the hardest things I ever went through. Even if it didn't happen in person, falling in love with him felt more real than any moment I had with my ex-boyfriend (with whom I dated for five years). Heh. That all still boggles my mind, that we hadn't even spoken on the phone yet at that point nor did I even really know what he looked like!

Anyway, we did start talking on the phone the moment we started dating and continued to hit it off. He soon had a cell phone sent to me on his plan so we could take advantage of the free mobile-to-mobile minutes, and we also talked through YIM using mics, text (of course), and sometimes a webcam. We met in person for the first time three months into it. Was really hard to leave him to go back home, lol.

It was a no-brainer for me to be the one to move. He had nearby family and a good job; most of my family had passed on while I was struggling to make ends meet. I had very little left to tie me down to the midwest. It was another eight months before I made that drive across the country . . . my car broke down halfway here but that's another story. :lol:

Anyway, I finally found the right guy. We've lived together for two years now and I've never regretted a moment of it. :dizzy:

starfishkitty
07-12-2009, 09:02 PM
Oh my god yay. :) Seriously, hearing that others have gone through all that AND come out on top and that their feelings of "Oh my god this guy might be the one" turned out to be validated....... TOTALLY makes me quit stressing. But only a tiny bit, mind you. ;) I'm too much of a stresser to NOT worry I guess. But still, it's heartening. :)

SunshineCA
07-13-2009, 12:19 AM
Hey folks,
Well, what can I say. I'm in love. He's fantastic as well (I know I'm biased, but still!)
There's just one issue, and that's that he's on one side of the Atlantic while I'm stuck on this side. He's moving here, which is great, but if anyone else has been in an LDR (long distance relationship) you may understand a little better.

It's like....being single, but not. I can do what I like...but I would like to be with him. Sure, I can go out...but I'm not single. And the only contact we have is Chat, when timezones and commitments allow.

This represents a sort of outlet for me, I guess. I'm also going to channel some of frustrations into working out really really hard!

Please PM if you're in a similar situation, and want to vent, so's we don't bore other people!

Thank you, Becca xxx

Becca, where are you? We haven't heard from you since you started this thread. I know you wanted to PM to prevent boring others, but as you can see, your thread is pretty active. Please post and let us know how you and your dear are doing. :)

starfishkitty
07-24-2009, 06:03 PM
The significant other got a call from his big head honcho boss today and was told they're considering him (seriously) for a position at their California branch. Even if he doesn't get it this time (if he does, that means he'd be coming here in a month!!! :o), there's a heavy chance that within the next 6 months he'd be re-considered and sent here on a project.

He's absolutely on cloud 9 for sure.... like he'd be makin $70+ a year, AND we could be together (I never thought I'd see the day where California is only a hop, skip, & jump compared to how far I am from someone right now) more often.

I'm excited, yet freaked out at the same time.... This really puts a lot of my vacation plans up in the air, not to mention I'm SO not as far along in my diet as I wanted to be when I finally saw him in 4 months!! Argh! Still have 15lbs to go... :(

But man... it WOULD be so nice.... *sigh*

Crazy how the world works....

SunshineCA
07-24-2009, 08:16 PM
:cp: Yay!!! Excellent news! Even though you think you're not where you want to be, California is where you're going to end up. ;) When will he find out for sure?

What's the latest with his internet?

starfishkitty
07-25-2009, 11:15 AM
The funny thing is that I would LOVE to move to Cali. I just need the right support and reasons behind such a move at this point. I can't think of a better one, of course.

But, still, let's see where time leads.

The net thing has still been up in the air because he's been so busy, and me too.... and now we've got to wait and see what's going on with this work thing of his.

How've you been Sunshine? :)

SunshineCA
07-25-2009, 03:16 PM
I'm good! ;) Just been busy preparing for my Philly trip.

Thanks for the update! :)

haysmommy
07-27-2009, 01:18 AM
Going on 7 years marriage here and all is well and dandy. :) Long distance relationships can work. I only saw my hubby for a total of...3 weeks between the time that we started dating and got married. lol We lived about a 14 hour drive from one another.

He's active duty Navy and sometimes he leaves for 7 months. Sometimes I've gone 30 days without hearing a word from him. Sometimes I felt like a "single mom", especially when in 7 months I allowed no one to babysit, even for a moment. When you live across the ocean from friends and family with a newborn and no hubby around, it can be lonely and frustrating. Lots of tears have been spilled. Every relationship has it's rough moments, whether you are together every second of the day or apart for days, weeks, months at a time.

As they say, sometimes distance makes the heart grow fonder. Even long distance relationships can have a happily ever after. It isn't the distance that ruins relationships, it's whether or not both hearts are really in the right place.

starfishkitty
07-27-2009, 11:28 AM
It isn't the distance that ruins relationships, it's whether or not both hearts are really in the right place.

That.... is wonderful. :) And I agree..... if it was just about the distance, I think we would have given up a long time ago. But we love each other, way, WAY too much. We... complete each other. :)

PammyFl
07-28-2009, 02:03 PM
Hey ladies... Just checking in on everyone. Its been a while since I have posted as I have been spending the month with the bf in Chicago. Im leaving Sunday and im having a hard time even thinking about leaving after spending another AMAZING month here. Its so hard and im so depressed and missing him already even though I haven't even left yet. What do you ladies do when you have to leave?

Oh and BTW Star im so happy for you and I know you will be just fine!

starfishkitty
07-29-2009, 01:57 AM
Thanks Pammy! :)

And yeah, Chicago IS pretty amazing during the summer! Just the winters that suck... *shiver*

SunshineCA
07-30-2009, 04:26 AM
My guy and I finally talked today. He's been calling, texting, IM-ing, etc. but I've been a Beeyatch and have refused any communication from him. I finally replied to an e-mail last week but ignored everything else. We spoke today for the first time. I've moved on but he's been absolutely miserable since we had our mishap. I have to admit that I missed our friendship something awful! I let him get it all out and said a few choice words. It boils down to the fact that we really miss each other. I've agreed to at least the friendship back and the rest will follow. If it was truly meant to be, it will happen.

starfishkitty
07-30-2009, 10:39 AM
Awww... I'm glad Sunshine.

It honestly really sounds like he cares for you chica. Can't ask for more than that, sometimes.... especially in this world.

Question though... you say you miss his friendship awfully.... but is that all you miss? Truly? Can you say that being around ("around") him.... you won't want more?

I don't know if I could be like that with K..... seriously.... as much as we try to say that if something were to happen with us one day we'd still remain friends. *sigh*

PammyFl
08-03-2009, 04:30 PM
Hey Ladies, I just got home this morning and I'm HATING it. I spent one of the most incredible months of my life and now its over! I actually got lucky because I was suppose to fly back home Sunday night, but while i was waiting to board the plane they came on the intercom asking for people to give up there seats and fly out Monday morning with a free round trip ticket anywhere in the US. You better believe i jumped on that one. Not only does it give me a free ticket to fly to see him again but I got to spend another night with him. It was hard as I had already said goodbye and cried my eyes out walking towards my gate just to have to do it all over again this morning. I miss him soo much already and I have only been home a few hours. UGH! Im so depressed right now and I just wanna curl up in bed and him be in there with me. I know it will be at least 2 months till i see him again and it just depresses me more! I love him so much and i cant imagine one second without him :cry:

Oh a side note I lost 5lbs while i was there even though I didn't eat very good at all... Man its amazing what destressing can do for someone.

starfishkitty
08-03-2009, 05:48 PM
That's so awesome Pammy :)

And the free ticket... whoa! Totally awesome!

I've noticed myself that it's WAAAAAAAY easier for me to lose weight when I'm happy. :) I guess that's one of the things helping me right now as well??

PammyFl
08-03-2009, 08:43 PM
Yeah it seems to have helped me in my weight loss ... last time i spent a month with him i lost 13lbs yes ONE THREE! Its amazing how being happy can help you improve yourself not only physically but emotionally. Good luck we can do this and be incredibly happy at the SAME time... Who would of thought?

starfishkitty
08-04-2009, 12:36 AM
Seriously!

They've done tons of studies on that though and they say that women are especially vulnerable to maintaining weight because of depression. Something about things being fired in the brain and whatnot.

starfishkitty
08-06-2009, 10:46 PM
Sunshine... anything new going on with you guys? How's the whole talking again thing going?

SunshineCA
08-08-2009, 05:11 PM
Awww... I'm glad Sunshine.

It honestly really sounds like he cares for you chica. Can't ask for more than that, sometimes.... especially in this world.

Question though... you say you miss his friendship awfully.... but is that all you miss? Truly? Can you say that being around ("around") him.... you won't want more?

I don't know if I could be like that with K..... seriously.... as much as we try to say that if something were to happen with us one day we'd still remain friends. *sigh*

Truly, I miss him in that way too of course but I'm okay with just the friendship, especially since we were friends before we crossed over to the other side. We've been friends for so long and not having him for at least part was a huge void for me. As I always say, we're taking one day at a time. Whatever happens, happens but at least our friendship is intact. :)

SunshineCA
08-08-2009, 05:13 PM
Sunshine... anything new going on with you guys? How's the whole talking again thing going?

:lol: I posted a reply to your other post before I saw this one. ;)

So far so good. We've been in touch almost everyday while I've been here in Philly. :)

starfishkitty
08-10-2009, 08:08 PM
haha It's okay, it happens. :)

My guy saw my birthday pics from this past weekend, after more than 2 months of not seeing me because of the whole internet thing (during which I've lost about 15lbs) and he was like... in awe. He was like "Baby...? You won't forget who loved no matter what you looked like, right.... RIGHT?"

I was like *smack!*

hehe I <3 our senses of humor..... :)

SunshineCA
08-11-2009, 04:00 AM
I love your new pic! You look MAAAAVELOUS! ;)

starfishkitty
08-11-2009, 05:33 AM
:o:D Thanks Sunshine... I feel so great too. All my best friends got together somehow for my birthday and people were really shocked at how good I look. I've lost about 45lbs since I met the majority of them a few years ago, and no one could believe it. In one night, I had 2 guys ask for my number! :lol: An ex-friend (if you know what I mean) was there too, and he was like.... all over me. Too funny.

I just hope K can handle it... he's feeling kinda unnerved (though happy and excited for me) how I'm all of a sudden plummeting towards being skinnier. I love him that he'd come to love and accept me for who I am... but it is still pretty funny that now he's kinda off balance (though like I said, excited) about it!

I'm just kinda like... *smug*... "Told ya so..."

SunshineCA
08-12-2009, 03:11 AM
Some guys get that way for some reason. We're just gonna have him bend over so the insecurities can be kicked out of him. :lol: He'll be fine once he sees how much you still truly love and care for him. :)

starfishkitty
08-13-2009, 06:56 AM
Ah well. And top of that... I most DEFINITELY have a long way to go before I'm even REMOTELY close to anything called "hot". ;) Or even, "cute".

SunshineCA
08-13-2009, 03:08 PM
Ah well. And top of that... I most DEFINITELY have a long way to go before I'm even REMOTELY close to anything called "hot". ;) Or even, "cute".

You underestimate yourself dear. You are definitely a Hot Cutie! ;)

TracyB73
08-13-2009, 08:18 PM
I am in one now, we have been together for six years. It is hard but we both trust each other. There are times it is hard, like when something happens and I need his support. He is in San Diego and I am in Missouri. I am going out in March to visit with him for two weeks and keep fingers crossed as we are going to talk about marriage.

SunshineCA
08-13-2009, 09:12 PM
:crossed: for you Tracy! :)

HannahBoo23
12-08-2009, 12:47 PM
I've been in a LDR for about 3 years now with my current boyfriend Andrew..it's not a REALLY LDR like starfishkitty or becki22, but it's seems that way sometimes. He lives about 1 and a half hours away and we only get to see each other about 3-4 times a year. I feel for other girls/guys that have longer distances and less visitations..but I love him dearly and i feel like he's my best friend.

Lately i feel like he's growing distant from me and that he's less interested in me then he use to be. Every since he bought his 1st cellphone he's been txting and calling all of his friends (mostly girls :S) and been ignoring me. When he says he'll txt or call me he never does...and IF he does..he does it for like a couple mins and then stops.. We used to talk on the phone for HOURS and HOURS.. now it's about and hour each day.. :( I miss my baby.. *cry*

So, i'm just thinking im being paranoid and jelous & i need to trust him a bit more..but still.. i don't want things to change.. i liked them the way they were! lol