Body Image and Issues after Weight Loss - Do you ever FEEL thin???

I'm starting to think there is something mentally wrong with me.... I've lost 83 lbs :carrot: and yet, I still feel fat... I look in the mirror & still see rolls & blubber everywhere even though I KNOW I'm smaller, I went from a size 22-24 to a 12-13.... I still am uncomfortable eating out in public, because I'm afraid everyone is looking at me going "yeah, that's just what she needs, more food". Will this horrible self image always stay with me? No matter how much weight I lose or how "thin" I get??? I honestly thought that once I reached my current weight, I would feel thin & look at myself differently, but I really don't.... Is this normal? What's wrong with me?

Maybe you could start doing some toning exercises? Maybe you are just feeling flabby?

I think our brains process our weight loss slower and therefore it takes a while for us to see who we are morphing into.

*hugz*

The feeling comes and goes. I have some days I feel great, and some days not so much, but it continues to get better and better.

One thing you'll be happy to hear - at your weight, the changes start happening faster, and they're different in a way I'm not sure I can describe. The changes in your figure with 50 pounds going from say 250 to 200, are different than the changes in your figure with 5 pounds going from 148 to 143. It's kinda neat stuff :)

I'm not sure what exercise you're doing, but that does make a huge difference. I slacked off this year, and actually kept losing, albeit very, very slowly. But I lost fitness and my figure changed. I'm back into it about 3 weeks now and feeling all strong again ;) - and although my weight has not gone down my arms and legs look MUCH better.

Yeah, I kinda TOTALLY slack on the exercise part of this whole thing... I worked out for about 4 months and then my life fell apart & now I'm back to not exercising. Most of what I have lost has been without exercise. I know I need too, I know I need to tone what I have, but I can not find the motivation to do it. I walk EVERYWHERE! I moved back to Boston & because of that have gotten rid of my car, it's more of a hassle then it's worth in the city. So walking everywhere is pretty much the only exercise that I get, but I do a lot of it.... I just want to feel my weight, ya know... I don't right now, I tell my friends I still have "fat girl syndrome", that's really the only way I describe it....

There's an actual neurological explanation for this.

See, your brain does something called "pattern recognition and completion" for things that you see frequently. You recognize some basic features of an item you see all the time, and your brain fills in the rest to save time and energy, and to allow you to identify things you see all the time faster. So your brain recognizes the basic elements of you and fills in the rest of the image of you from previous memory. When we lose weight, our brain takes in the basic features of our previous selves, and fills them in with its old image from memory, so we literally see ourselves as bigger than we are.

It goes away with time, as your brain replaces the old pattern images with new ones. It took me about a year and a half to see a thinner me maybe half of the time, so it's a slow process. In the meantime, looking at photos can help, because photos are immune from this phenomenon...your brain doesn't recognize the pattern of "you" because the scale of a photo is so different. So when you're feeling that way, look at a current photo.

There's an actual neurological explanation for this.

See, your brain does something called "pattern recognition and completion" for things that you see frequently. You recognize some basic features of an item you see all the time, and your brain fills in the rest to save time and energy, and to allow you to identify things you see all the time faster. So your brain recognizes the basic elements of you and fills in the rest of the image of you from previous memory. When we lose weight, our brain takes in the basic features of our previous selves, and fills them in with its old image from memory, so we literally see ourselves as bigger than we are.

It goes away with time, as your brain replaces the old pattern images with new ones. It took me about a year and a half to see a thinner me maybe half of the time, so it's a slow process. In the meantime, looking at photos can help, because photos are immune from this phenomenon...your brain doesn't recognize the pattern of "you" because the scale of a photo is so different. So when you're feeling that way, look at a current photo.

Wow, what a great explanation. That is so true about the photos vs. the mirror.

First at all you should believe that you are thin before you do diet (just a method of the low of attraction)... It's really useful, make a big self-confidence

See, your brain does something called "pattern recognition and completion" for things that you see frequently. You recognize some basic features of an item you see all the time, and your brain fills in the rest to save time and energy, and to allow you to identify things you see all the time faster. So your brain recognizes the basic elements of you and fills in the rest of the image of you from previous memory.

So our friends and family could still be seeing us heavier also then?

I went from 190 to 139 in the last 4 months. I still see me as fat when I look in the mirror. Even when I'm wearing my size 4 Luckys. Its only when someone takes a picture of me that I realize that I am actually thin. We seem to be unable to shake our image of ourselves.....

There's an actual neurological explanation for this.

See, your brain does something called "pattern recognition and completion" for things that you see frequently. You recognize some basic features of an item you see all the time, and your brain fills in the rest to save time and energy, and to allow you to identify things you see all the time faster. So your brain recognizes the basic elements of you and fills in the rest of the image of you from previous memory. When we lose weight, our brain takes in the basic features of our previous selves, and fills them in with its old image from memory, so we literally see ourselves as bigger than we are.

It goes away with time, as your brain replaces the old pattern images with new ones. It took me about a year and a half to see a thinner me maybe half of the time, so it's a slow process. In the meantime, looking at photos can help, because photos are immune from this phenomenon...your brain doesn't recognize the pattern of "you" because the scale of a photo is so different. So when you're feeling that way, look at a current photo.

I had no idea this was happening, this explains so much. Thanks for the great info!

I really haven't lost a ton of weight yet, but I really think losing weight has changed the way I see my body in general. I never really noticed that much but now I see rolls and fat everywhere I look. *sigh* I'm glad to see it will get better in time.

I still look in the mirror and see my pudgy tummy a lot. Some days are better than others. When I've slacked on my exercise or have eaten badly I notice it more than on other days. I'm getting better, and see the skinnier more than I see the pudgier most of the time. I did try on a bathing suit last week and freaked out a little - thought it and I looked terrible. Then the saleswoman told me how great it looked. Odd feeling.

It is getting easier, though. :)

Congrats on your loss!

Sometimes I see myself as "thin", but not always. I think I've just gotten used to how I am now, and it just seems normal. Sometimes I catch a view of myself in an especially flattering outfit, or feel my leg muscles or ab muscles during a work out (not nearly so much fat there any more) and I do "feel thin". But, I saw a photo in my swimsuit from the weekend and my first thought was - OMG look at those fat thighs! But DH objected and said anyone else would see someone who is thin!

So, I don't know if that will ever go away totally ?

I'm having the exact same issues, and I wish I could give you some good advice.

Wow, what a great explination mandalinn82 gave! I never knew that there was a real psychological reason that people view themselves that way... And I'm also glad to know that I'm not alone in feeling this way. I wanted to lose this weight more to FEEL better about myself, rather then LOOK good. It's starting to effect me that I don't really feel much better then I did at 230 lbs.... I kinda feel like all this work has been in vein cause I still feel the same... Well hopefully over time, this feeling will go away & I'll begin to see myself as how I am rather then how I used to be.

Great explanation. I agree--there are some days I feel "fat" and I find many times it is directly corelated to how "on plan" I have been with the nutrition and exercise. I do feel that photos help a lot.

Extasee--I really, really can't emphasize enough to you how much better your are going to feel once you get into your regular exercise routine. The endorphins alone are gonna give your mental state a boost. The exertion is going to rock your figure too. I am so excited for you. Let us know how it's coming along.

so i've totally been searching 3FC, trying to find someone who is having this problem too because it's somethign that i've been struggling with a lot over teh past couple weeks.
It's so weird because i look at the facts-2 pant sizes down, and 30 pounds lost- and i know that i must be smaller. jeans that i couldn't button before, now fit nicely.
But i look in the mirror, and i see the same me. Still fat.
I'm really hoping this goes away, and that ill be able to see a realistic image of me and what i look like. I think that this is also one of the reasons i am having trouble choosing a goal weight, because i still see me as being that same 168 pounds, and therefore teh idea of stopping losing weight is a little bit scary.
The psychological stuff makes a lot of sense. Stupid brains, why do they have to do that to us!!! lol

I have lost about 60??? lbs since I decided it was time to lose some weight, around last April. About 30 was until this January, after I had spent a lot of time slacking. I kicked up the gear the last few months and I am finally starting to see myself as a thinner. Sometimes I will just 'feel' fat, mental guilt, whatever. I find that if I touch my body though and really examine it in a mirror, I start to feel better and better about myself because I can really tell the difference from where I started and where I am now. Taking measurements helps a lot too. If you accept yourself and try to really get in tune with your body perhaps you will start to see how far you've gone and feel better about the 290,500 stored calories you have shed from your bod!

I took me YEARS before I automatically went to the smaller end of the clothes racks in stores. I've been on this journey for about 8 years now and at my current size for about 7 of them, and there are times that I look at me and my clothes and feel huge. Other times, I'm still amazed at how small and fit I look and feel. On the "mental fat days" I put on a pair of size 16 pants that didn't zip on the day I started, and watch them fall down. I will keep those always- they are a great reminder of reality.

Mel

"mental fat days"

I like that! Once you've acheived a healthy goal weight and obtained a good level of fitness, the ONLY place where you can remain "fat" is your mind. For me, changing the way I think about myself has been much harder than reshaping my body.

I like your pants "ritual" Mel and I'm totally stealing it! ;)

All my saggy baggy skin has me feeling that way sometimes. But, as others have said - it does get better with time.

One thing that often surprises me. I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror or store window when I wasn't paying attention. I am actually surprised by the person looking back at me - I barely recognize that person.

And yes, it is the same for family members. DH still has a hard time finding me in a store - he often walks right past without even noticing that it is me ;)

Pictures DO help. I click on my own goal pictures sometimes, just as a reality check on those days when I'm feeling "big".

Mel: i do that in the stores too. i work at a clothing store where everything is by size and so ill be hanging pants in the size 12's (my former size) and see a cute pair and think "oh wow! maybe ill buy these ones" and then i have to remind myself that they wouldn't fit me.
I've also had occasions where i've walked past the size 8 rack (my current size) and think "wow those are cute. i wish i was small enough to wear them" and then glance up to see them hanging under my current pant size. It shocks me, and ive prolly done it about 20 times.
I constantly forget that my size has gone down.

See, your brain does something called "pattern recognition and completion" for things that you see frequently. You recognize some basic features of an item you see all the time, and your brain fills in the rest to save time and energy, and to allow you to identify things you see all the time faster. So your brain recognizes the basic elements of you and fills in the rest of the image of you from previous memory.

So our friends and family could still be seeing us heavier also then?


Fascinating! Not only why we still see ourselves as not thin but also why others who see me regularly still haven't noticed. hm.

Does this apply for getting bigger as well, if you haven't been bigger that long? Until last August I weighed 175, as I have most of my life since I hit my current height of 5'10". Then I went to college and by December, I weighed 212. But when I looked in the mirror, I didn't look *that* big. But then I'd see a picture and be like, "Is that really me? I'm not THAAAT big." But maybe I was suffering from the opposite effect, being used to being 175 and my mind not catching up to 212. Of course, if that's the case, I don't care if it didn't catch up, seeing as I've already said goodbye to the 200's now... FOREVER, and should be down to 175 again by the end of the summer, and then past that. But can that happen in the reverse way?

Yep, it works the other way too, which is why so many people have their "turning point" when they see a photo.

I am feeling thin today :) I have this great pair of dark red cords, they are a close fit and there are some days I put them on and they feel too tight, or I feel too big to wear them. Today - they fit great and I feel awesome!

Same here. I sure hope my perception will change over time, because it IS annoying.

On the other hand, maybe it's because I'm at my lightest weight since being, uh, 11 or so, and now I can feel every slight variation (I swear, if I happen to gain on 1 lb, I feel like I've gained 10 all of a sudden...).

The photo trick is a good idea. I think I'll go snap a pic with me wearing my cute gothic-lolita dress with a corset and plenty of ribbons. ;) Maybe I'll see myself the way I really am now!

Ooooooooooooh I love gothic lolita. I'm so jealous. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find gothic-lolita things online that fit someone 5'10"? Considering so many are from Japan and the Japanese are so much shorter than me (no I can't sew). But I love it so much.... T_T My favorite fashion. *is jealous* I kind of want to see a picture of you like that. I bet you look adorable. :p

I don't know if I look adorable, I just hope I don't look too old for that. :lol:

Granted, it's not easy at my height either. I have large enough boobs (nothing to do with overweight, I'm a sturdy C/D even now) for them to be a problem when it comes to buying Asian brands. Something's always doomed not to fit. T_T

Picture, picture... If the weather allows it, I'll wear it tomorrow evening, so we'll see.

Great topic! I too have a big issue with this and never have gotten many goal pictures and the few I see do astound me BUT I still am so critical of the body parts I felt at issue with. I know everyone say MY g-d for your age you look like a 20 year old. And I recently had an illness and gained a few pounds and now am NEUOTIC about getting them back off . I know I will and when your way older it doesn't come off easy!

I think our brains process our weight loss slower and therefore it takes a while for us to see who we are morphing into.

*hugz*


Yup, I agree with this. I think we are pretty much the last to see ourselves as we really are. It's like your mind wouldn't process the weight loss or something.

I was shopping this weekend and I kept looking at my reflections in the store windows as I walked by. My hips, my thighs, my waist...it all looked so "normal". I looked normal and not big and, honestly, it confused me. It confused me because when I look at myself (nekkid) in the mirror, I see fat...

I don't think there's anything wrong with you. I just think you need a bit of help in seeing yourself as you truly are.

I seem to have the reverse problem. I lost 20 lbs a year and a half ago and feel thin. Everyone tells me that I look great after losing all that weight.

However, I saw some recent pictures and was aghast at how out of shape I still looked. I want to lose another 15 lbs or so but weight loss has stalled and I am not able to motivate myself to go the whole distance.

Awesome topic! Although I have lost over 40 pounds, I look in the mirror and still see my former, overweight self and continue to go to the size 16s when I shop. I read or heard somewhere that the mind takes a picture and holds onto that image in its memory and it takes time to change, my mind hasn't caught up to my body yet. I have a photo of myself before starting my weight loss journey, similar to those done on The Biggest Loser, with me wearing a pair of "unforgiving" spandex shorts and exercise bra. When I look at that it does give me a visual reminder that a physical transformation has actually happened for me and that my brain needs time to adjust to the change.

Yep, it works the other way too, which is why so many people have their "turning point" when they see a photo.

That's sort of what happened to me. I have never felt thin, but I always imagined myself at the much smaller size I was for a long time (130-140 for about 15 years). I would be designing clothes for myself thinking I still looked like that and once I actually made them, and saw them on my fat self... urgh. Not so good. I saw a picture of myself in a costume at 140 taken in 2005 and in the same sitting me at almost 180 in February and I decided I had enough of that. 33 pounds later I am close to the picture I wanted to get back to, and it looks like I am going to do even better than that!

I know I will never feel thin. Even when I was too thin after college, my boyfriend at the time said I looked sick and I was 120 at the time, I didn't feel thin AT ALL. At least now I can look at the old ~180 2009 picture and give myself some perspective.

I had no idea this was happening, this explains so much. Thanks for the great info!

I really haven't lost a ton of weight yet, but I really think losing weight has changed the way I see my body in general. I never really noticed that much but now I see rolls and fat everywhere I look. *sigh* I'm glad to see it will get better in time.


I am new here and maybe you know something I don't but I am pretty sure that little weight thingy means you have lost close to 50 pounds. That is a huge accomplishment! You worked hard for that! Be proud, girl! I'm proud of you and I've never even met you!:D

And I am glad this feeling will eventually go away. I still see a very big girl in the mirror. :(

Well I've been up to 194lbs, down to 128lbs, and everywhere in between and I don't think you ever feel 100% satisfied with the way you look. I never have anyway! There will ALWAYS be some slight imperfection that you just groan about when you look in the mirror. We just have to learn to love ourselves as who we are and continue to strive toward our goals! One you begin to get too comfortable with the way you look, you start slipping.

Well I've been up to 194lbs, down to 128lbs, and everywhere in between and I don't think you ever feel 100% satisfied with the way you look. I never have anyway! There will ALWAYS be some slight imperfection that you just groan about when you look in the mirror. We just have to learn to love ourselves as who we are and continue to strive toward our goals! One you begin to get too comfortable with the way you look, you start slipping.

I am now at my lowest adult weight ever, wear a size 6 jeans (which are getting loose), can now see my abdominal muscles... and I still feel fat, everyday (and today especially, not sure why). My brain is slowly catching up, but yeah, it takes a really long time.

There is definitely a disconnect between head and reality isnt there. I recall moments when I would look down while sitting in a seat on a plane for example and see space on either side where in the past I could barely fit in and it would blow my mind.

At my lowest weight (in recent history) for the most part I felt thin most days. I felt good. When I felt anxious/angry/stressed etc I would default to fat as my feeling. But when I broke it down (if I could catch it before it took a life of its own) then I would see that it wasnt that I felt fat . . . it was that I still felt deficient in some way - not "XXXX " enough - whatever the XXXX is for you at that point in time. That week before TOM arrives all bets are off and I did lose my mind. Keeping my hormones stable has helped with this A LOT.

My current issue is the opposite one that others have mentioned. For many many reasons I gained back more weight than I am comfortable with . . . and now that my head is in a good place again (and I have finally forgiven myself for that) and I am eating food that keeps me energetic (& stable) and that I am working out - I feel great again! I know that I do not look the way I want to and that I definitely have weight to lose BUT BUT BUT BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT when I see pics of myself now I am still shocked at how fat this person who is sposed to be me looks . . . that is not how I feel for the most part.

And I dont know which is better or worse. Looking a certain way to the rest of the world and feeling intermittently fat or feeling good and having the world still see you as fat (and in my case these "wonderful" souls have made a point to remind me that I am larger than I was, you know, just in case I wasnt sure that I had archived my skinny jeans).

But all it does is reinforce the fact that there is no finish line . . . we all just continue to learn :)

I've been struggling with this problem a lot. Even though when I was bigger I saw size 8 as TINY, now that I'm a size 8 I still feel the same as I did at size 14 when I look in the mirror.

It's also just a completely subconscious thing. I still dress to hide the muffin top that comes over my jeans, even though I know objectively that there isn't one. I can't put on a sleeveless shirt or dress without throwing a cardigan over it to cover my arms before I leave the house, even though they no longer need covering (and possibly never did?). I hope someday I get over it, because cardigans get really hot in summertime :).