Body Image and Issues after Weight Loss - Today, just for a split second...

...I saw it. I was wearing a cute outfit that made me feel really confident, and I happened to be in a bathroom with a really long/wide mirror, and I stepped away from the sink while I was washing my hands, and--I saw a normal-sized girl in the mirror. I SAW her! :yikes:

It was so surreal; I can't think of a better word to describe it. I literally thought to myself, Who the heck is THAT?! I have never seen HER before! This girl looked pretty darn healthy and normal, or even - dare I say - kind of thin! Her legs/thighs didn't look ridiculously massive, and her skirt showed them off pretty nicely. Her arms had some seriously loose skin going on, but who cares?! She looked confident, and happy, and cute! :goodvibes

...Of course, it was only for one itty-bitty little moment, and then my vision shifted back to normal, and I saw Meredith again. :rolleyes: But still... It was kinda cool. :^: It completely blew my mind to think that what I saw just for that one second might actually be what other people see ALL the time! I mean, d*mn--I knew I had some body dysmorphic issues, but I didn't think it was THAT bad... Is it possible that my view of myself is really that warped?! :?: And now I feel kind of cheated that 99% of the time I'm still seing this fat chick staring back at me, when other people get to see this normal girl--I wanna see her, too! Y'know?

Eh, whatever, I'm sure I will see her again eventually. It's just gonna take some time... :dunno:

[Sorry for the total randomness of this thread, heh. I haven't even posted in this part of the forum before, but I have flipped through every page of it and read all of the threads, because all this body image junk is becoming my biggest problem lately. :sorry: But I'm hoping that if I keep on staring at this picture I took afterwards, maybe eventually I'll be able to see that girl again!! :crossed:]

Meredith!! You look fantastic! I am so jealous! Maybe this is the inspiration I need to get under 200 and start kicking butt like you.

I am amazed at your transformation. You look so great, I am completely jealous! I am having the body image issues as well. I hope it gets better.

Meredith I've been noticing your posts lately and I just want to tell you, you look absolutely fantastic! Seriously, there is no doubt about it YOU LOOK FANTASTIC!

I've seen your progress pics and your posts are always uplifting you are an inspiration to me *thanks*

I'm sure your mind will catch up with your body in time!

You do look awesome! and yes "thin". your waist is so small! I am happy for you. I'm sure it will take time for it to sink in that you are actually a "normal" size now. congrats

Yowsers! You look so fantastic!

Other people are definitely seeing a 'normal' sized girl- I am. In fact, that is one TINY waist you've got going on there. I hope you get to really 'see' that again SOON!

Meredith, you are just too cute! So here is what I think happened: We have a picture of ourselves in our heads that doesn't match what's on the outside. My image of myself was that I was tall enough that I carried my weight well. It was only when I saw a picture of myself that I could truly see how heavy I had gotten. I think that you have a picture of a heavy girl named Meredith in your brain. She's got nothing to do with the real Meredith, the girl that you glimpsed in the mirror. So for just a brief moment, your mind's guard was down and you saw the real Meredith, like looking at a picture of yourself.

Maybe having more pictures taken, both alone and with other people, will help your mind to understand that your shape really has changed and you really do look different!

PS--I'm envious of your tiny waist, and I know lots of women would KILL for your arms. They look great from here!

Yes, you WILL see her again!! It does take a while for our mental image to catch up with reality. Unfortunately, it worked in reverse too, when we got to be WAY heavier than we realized.

Here's a way to help -- pull out one of your "before" photos and keep it handy. When you're not sure that you are looking at yourself the way you truly are, just take that photo and compare with you now. What a shocker that is!!! You'll look at the "old" you and think, OMG, was I really THAT heavy?! It is a great reality check.

You look absolutely wonderful and need to believe that, down in your innermost self. Over time, the new you will just become "you", the way you are. Enjoy that!!

Look at that tiny little waist girl!! I love your outfit too! :D


You'll see the true-you more and more often as time goes on. One day, and likely sooner than you think, you will start to internalize the little hotty in the mirror. She'll be all you see with no shadows of your former self to cloud your vision. :)

You were right, you look fabulous!

Anyway, it does just take time. I'm a lot more used to the way I look now than I was in, say, December. I used to have moments exactly like you describe. Now, I have moments where I'm surprised to realize just how used to my size I have gotten :)

Not only do you look normal but you are super cute! Trust me other girls/guys that see you see the "normal" girl!!! She's there!!! I'm sure you are getting the jealous looks too!

Just remember that feeling today and start replacing negative thoughts with what you felt today. I'm right there with you, I'm trying my best to start giving myself compliments in my head instead of criticism. I've said it before, it's going to take time for your mind to catch up with your weight loss but you/we will find our balance! HUGS!!!

Meredith, you look super freakin' amazing. Congrats on see the real you!

Meredith, you are drop dead gorgeous! Seriously, you are doing awesome! I really do love that outfit too. I am having the same problem with how I see myself. I still see myself as being over 220 lbs even though the scale is finally showing under 180. The loose skin is really scaring me and I'm finding more stretch marks when I thought I've seen them all already. I hope I look that good when I get down to your weight!

Congratulations on getting to see the real you! ;)

Meredith - you look amazing! I remember that moment, mine was in the glass of a door. And yes, you will start to recognize her in the mirror. I don't think it ever gets old though :)

GORGEOUS!!!

Meredith, I hate to break the news to you my dear, but you are without a doubt a "normal", regular, ordinary, average - sized person, regardless of what you may think. You saw her for a split second, you even said so yourself. I know it's hard to remember and recognize sometimes, all the pain we went through when we weren't "normal", but you're there - you're THERE.

You will have more and more of those moments, a glance in a mirror, a look down at your hands, fitting easily into tight spaces, running to catch a bus, shopping in those regular sized stores - eventually it won't seem quite as "odd".

You have worked so hard for your body, and boy do I admire you for doing it at such a young age, it's time to enjoy it and reap the benefits. :hug:

well done Meredith you look great!

Meredith, you look adorable! You have given yourself an amazing gift! WTG! With time, you will get used to your cute little figure.

Thank you so much, ladies! You are all so amazing... I don't know how I could ever get through all of these changes without the support of this site! :dizzy:

Windchime - You're right! It really did feel like my mind was "letting its guard down"... My image of myself as a fat girl is just sooo strong that it seems like no matter what, I just always look fat to myself. It's like, instead of thinking "If Meredith looks like ____ , she must be normal," I automatically think "If ____ looks like Meredith, she must be fat." Know what I mean? That's definitely something I need to work on, heh...

MBN - I like the idea of carrying around a "before" picture, hehe. I've tried to adjust my view of myself by cutting my head off of pictures (hehe), pulling up pictures of myself next to other people who look "normal" to me, etc, but it never seems to work... But it is kind of weird how I'll look at old pictures now and think that I don't remember feeling THAT fat--even now, I still feel like the same Meredith I've always been, so I guess the change doesn't internally feel quite as drastic to me as it probably looks to other people. That makes it hard to adjust! Heh.

daniela - I am absolutely going to try to remind myself of that moment, like, for every day of the rest of my life! :lol: Even if I'm not lovin' what I see in the mirror on some particular day, I think it'll be comforting just to think Hey, but you *did* see it that one time! Even if I'm only faking confidence, that's better than nothing--and maybe, all the positive reinforcement will make it magically turn into real confidence. ;)

aangel22 - I know exactly what you mean! It seems like for every "good" moment I have, there are at least 5 more moments of Huh, where did all this skin come from?! Hehe. I think that's part of what makes it harder for me to see myself as thinner, because I'm not exactly this taut, hardbodied thing--all the loose skin and stretch marks just gives me the impression of a fat person, even if I might technically be the same size as someone who looks normal because they don't have those things. I want to try to tone up more over the Summer, but I think I also have to be realistic that unless I get surgery, it'll probably always be a problem. :p

rockinrobin - Gosh. I am? I'm normal? You swear? ;) Hehe. No, but seriously--it's SO hard for me to believe that. I feel like no matter how much I might hear it from people in my life, it just doesn't seem to sink in. For a while, I was really worried that I would just ALWAYS feel like a fat person, and hate my body... What a depressing thought!! But it makes me so glad to see that I've gotten closer to goal (and especially just in the past couple weeks) I've really started to feel my self-perception shifting. It's a slow process, but I think it's happening! :crossed: I'm starting to lose my grip on the "fat" Meredith and get REALLY excited about all the years I can look forward to as a normal, happy Meredith. :chin:

Allow me to be a total guy for a moment...

<BIG WOLF WHISTLE>

... Ok, that's out of my system. :D

BIG CONGRATS on your achievement! I know from experience that the split second glimpses become more and more frequent. Right now they are wonderful peeks at what you really look like. I remember taking an old pic of myself and standing in front of a mirror to compare (and stare!). At first, the mirror image was the foreign one but slowly that old picture became the stranger. Now when I see old photos, that part of my life seems SOOOO long ago. Trust me, eventually you'll "recognize" yourself all the time.

I'm reminded of a quote by Michelangelo, "I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free." Think of yourself as a master sculptor who has taken your inner angel and made her a physical reality.

I'm reminded of a quote by Michelangelo, "I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free." Think of yourself as a master sculptor who has taken your inner angel and made her a physical reality.

That is the cutest sweetest thing to say!!! Aww. :)


And Meredith, you must must know that you look absolutely freaking fantastic! You are suuch a cute chica! And your whole appearance matches your bubbly personality. You are such win girl! :)

Now when I see old photos, that part of my life seems SOOOO long ago. Trust me, eventually you'll "recognize" yourself all the time.

Not to hijack the thread, but I know just what you mean. I was morbidly obese for so long (20 years) and suffered terribly and now I'm a "normal" weight for such a short time, yet that part of my life DOES seem so long ago. Almost as if it never existed. I've actually thought about this many times and I just don't get it.

Stunning..love the earring/skirt combo..more so than anything..I LOVE and ADORE your confident smile..

WORK IT GIRL! :)

Thank you, shrinkingchica and Thighs Be Gone! You all are just far too kind. :^:

in need of solace - Hehe, you're making me blush! Thank you!! :D And that is such a beautiful quote... So appropriate for the whole process of losing weight! It really does feel like I'm finally letting the "real" Meredith come out more--my real personality, my real tastes; everything! For example, I never used to wear skirts except on special occasions... I was never dumpy, heh, but getting dressed was more of a chore than something I really enjoyed (like I do now! ;)) I would have felt silly looking like I was trying TOO hard, y'know? But now I feel so much more comfortable just being who I FEEL like being! I think a lot of people experience weight loss as getting to become a whole new person, but in some ways I feel more like I've just won the privilege of being able to embrace the person I've always been. :D

rockinrobin - Ya know, it's strange, but I almost feel myself falling into that already... Not really feeling like my obese days were so long ago (cuz really, it was less than a year ago, heh), but sometimes I DO look back at old pictures and think that I definitely don't remember being - or feeling - THAT fat. It just seems so weird to me that I ever was that fat... I don't see myself as a healthy/thin person, but I know that I never really thought of myself as this horribly disgusting fat person, either. I knew I was morbidly obese, but it didn't define who I was, or stop me from trying to have a happy existence (heh). It's really weird to think about it now, and wonder how I must have looked to other people in comparison to how I felt--hmm, now doesn't THAT sound kind of familiar! I guess I've just never had an accurate view of myself! :dizzy: But I can't wait until the days where I don't recognize that fat person at all...

omgoodness!!! you look so good! i cannot wait to look like that! i hope you can see yourself as a 'normal' girl again soon! i can totally see that normal girl now!

wow girl u look fab! congrats!!!! i can't wait 2 start wearing cute outfits

You look amazing!!

You look WONDERFUL!!! :congrat:

Meredith, I hope to have the same success with my weight loss as you have. You look so goregous, I mean, just look at you, you're absolutely glowing!