I seriously need someone to kick my rear in gear. I came and introduced myself to this forum about a month ago with this big idea on how everything was going to work. That lasted for about 2 weeks and it all went out the window. I have two major addictions. 1. Smoking 2. Food
So I took a look at the big picture and had the intentions of fighting both my evils at once, I mean what better way to fight off the craving for a cigarette than with exercise right? Yea, well with the kids running around it didn't quite work out that way. So I turned all my full focus to kicking my smoking habit. The good news is I've been smoke free for over 10 days (huge HUGE accomplishment for me) and I'm going strong. I really want to make it last this time. It will be so much easier to exercise if I can breath!
The bad news is, my eating has been HORRIBLE, to say the least. I just can't seem to stop myself. I have to constantly be shoveling food into my mouth all day and popcorn (oh heaven's no, not the light 94% FF stuff but the old fashion cooked in oil stuff) has been the biggest culprit. It started out being drenched in butter, but at least I made the wise decision to switch to I Can't Believe It's Not Butter spray lol (as if that helps a whole lot).
I'm just very frustrated with myself at the moment. Every single day for the last week I've "started" my diet, and every single day I find myself standing there eating something horrible..poptarts, porkchops, bacon... I even ripped open a bag of chocolate chips .. how desperate must I get? No food is safe within my reach. I haven't even been grocery shopping because I know the food will run out eventually and then I'll have to stop eating.
I need to make this insanity end and I need to get control of it. So I thought what better way to start then by confessing my sins (so to speak) to all of you.
I feel so totally ashamed and I'm trying my best not to beat myself into the ground. I just don't have anyone to talk about this with here, my kids and husband just wouldn't understand and I'm feeling kind of lost and alone. So I want to thank each and every one of you who took the time to read my ranting and raving.
Tomorrow is a new beginning.......
05-20-2009, 01:10 AM
Traci, first of all CONGRATULATIONS on not smoking! That is such an accomplishment and it is NOT EASY.....I know, I quit 8 years ago. One thing to remember is that you are used to the hand to mouth action that goes along with smoking and it's very normal to substitute something else for the cigarette....some people chew on straws, some suck on ice cubes, others eat.....many ways of dealing with it. My suggestion would be to look for the healthiest alternatives possible. For example, chop us some raw veggies and munch on them when fighting the urge to smoke. It might take awhile, because it usually takes longer to get over the mental addiction to smoking that it does to get over the physical addiction. Also consider whether you're trying to take on too much at once. Quitting smoking is a huge change, and putting pressure on yourself to also have a perfect diet might be too much at this time. Instead, you might try just being mindful of making better food choices while you are working through this change and then switch your focus when the time is right. By putting too much pressure on yourself now, it could make it more likely for you to revert to the old behaviors. Again, CONGRATULATIONS....and trust me, you are going to feel SO MUCH BETTER!!!!!
05-20-2009, 01:24 AM
Wow, Tracie --- when you decide to change things, you don't mess around, do you? When someone tells you to go big or stay home, I bet you NEVER stay home! And that can certainly work!
I am thinking that part (if not all) of what is happening to your eating is giving up cigarettes: first, you just lost a long-term ORAL habit and are looking to replace it with something else ORAL; second, you have deprived yourself of something instantly pleasurable and are looking for some kind of instantly pleasurable replacement; third, you are probably pretty stressed and food can be a kind of mini-tranquilizer.
But you have quit smoking! WOW! not to mention EXCELLENT!
So, how can we help you stay on top of that change without sacrificing a healthy diet?
Stock up on a lot of healthy things --- fruits, veggies, pre-cooked skinless chicken breasts, maybe an air popper for popcorn, gum, healthy soups, teas or crystal lite for drinking, sugar-free jellos, etc. Do whatever is needed to have them ready to go (cut up the veggies, etc.) Then, when that insane need to put something in your mouth hits, jump right into those healthy foods with both feet! And savor them; smell that orange, listen to the crunch of a crisp Granny Smith, set a place at the table even just for tea, etc. maybe even turn on some music -- my theory here is that you will slow the whole process down and satisfy that need for a pleasurable break that a cigarette used to provide. Maybe something like Tootsie pops would help satisfy that oral habit. If eating is keeping you away from the cigarettes, then for a few weeks until not smoking is a real habit, maybe you should eat --- just try to have loads of stuff around that is healthy and tasty and instantly consumable.
And by the way, I don't think you have ANYTHING to feel ashamed about --- kicking cigarettes is really hard and you are DOING it! My MIL was as strong and self-controlled a woman as I have ever met --- and though she tried and tried, she never could give those dang things up. You have! And that is something to be incredibly proud of!
Hang in there!
05-20-2009, 01:43 AM
Well your post is a vision of myself two years ago, I've been smoke free since May 10, 2007 (but who's counting) The last number of days I have been thinking about the numerous similarities between the two battles. As one can tell from the ticker below, I chose to quit and just do whatever I had to quit forever (i think that was my fifth try at quitting) and if that meant 10 pounds or 20 pounds, well that would have to be because I didn't want to lose weight and then stop smoking because I knew how easily I would undo my hard work.
On the up side, that first week of no smoking was way harder than this first week of weight loss has been. And the skills we use and develop to quit are the same as for weight loss, you'll be just that much better at it.
And if I remember correctly from my psychology courses if you try too many new things at once your brain doesn't usually cope too well so I would totally keep rocking that non smoking, and you're right the breathing thing makes exersice so much easier.
I'm pulling for you, you can do it, one day at a time.
05-20-2009, 03:26 AM
Congratulations on being smoke-free, that is enormous! As I understand it (never smoked) nicotine is much more of a chemical addiction than food, not that trying to break bad eating habits is easy either.
I think you just have to be kind to yourself and rejoice in your victories when they come, to tackle 2 such huge things simultaneously is a huge task.
Maybe tell yourself that you're not going to Diet officially until the smoking is totally under control, just make healthy choices, and then, as has been said, make sure that what there is to eat in the house is only those healthy choices. I've lost count of the number of cookies I've binned, because I can't know that they're available. When all I have in is raw stuff or veggies, I very rarely binge ~ either the taste of celery doesn't do it for me or having to cook stuff doesn't address the instant gratification I'm craving.
Good luck - you're impressive!
05-20-2009, 10:12 AM
I just never felt so out of control with my appetite before. I mean I've always loved to eat, but geesh at least before I'd been able to walk away or tell myself "no" or "enough"at some point.
You're all right. I need to focus on the positive.
I lost 12 lbs before I quit smoking and I put 8 lbs back on. I've stayed at this weight for the last week, so even if I'm not losing it, I'm not gaining either. I have been getting at least 64 fl oz of water in a day and at least once a week I do make a conscience effort to get in some sort of exercise. I'm really not doing that bad. In reality I'm not any worse off now then I was when I started. If anything I'm a little better.
I want to thank you all, I was feeling pretty down on myself and you all understood and may me feel better. I knew posting here was the right thing to do!
05-20-2009, 10:40 AM
Good for you. I quit in October, 27-year habit, 1-2 packs a day, so I know exactly how hard it is. Trust me, once you get through the really hard craving part it gets SO MUCH EASIER and you will not miss it a bit! You will sleep better, have a lot more energy...you will feel 10 years younger!!! It's hard but it's so worth it!
05-20-2009, 11:00 AM
You need to stop being so hard on yourself! Stopping smoking is HARD. 10 days without smoking is a huge accomplishment. Right now, I would focus on quitting smoking. That doesn't mean you can't try to be more mindful of what you are eating or WHY you are eating it but you need to cut yourself some slack. Once you get over the really, really hard part of quitting smoking, you will be able to focus much more successfully on the weight loss. You will also be more successful because think about how much better you will feel! You'll be able to exercise so much easier too.
Personally, I think you could benefit from gum or mints. I haven't smoked in years (I was also one of those annoying people that never got addicted either) but I DO know about mindlessly stuffing food in your mouth. I've opened the bag of chocolate chips...I've been there. As cliché as it sounds, if I can stop and remember to pop a bunch of gum in my mouth or my yummy Wintergreen BreathSavor mints, I can usually stop myself. I'd rather eat a whole roll of mints at 5 calories each, then a bag of chips at 110 calories a serving!
GOOD LUCK and welcome to the forum!
05-20-2009, 11:02 AM
Great job! I quit last year. I'm not sure how much I gained when I quit, but I know I did gain. I have actually taken up running now, something I could never do before, and I love it.
I know what you mean about feeling out of control of your appetite. I still feel that way at TOM but I *try* to stick to foods that are low in calories during that time.
05-20-2009, 11:33 AM
I feel so totally ashamed and I'm trying my best not to beat myself into the ground.
Oh my gosh for what? You're trying to quit smoking and diet at the same time AND deal with family responsibilities? To me, that's a recipe for failure. You're human and that is a lot to deal with at once.
I couldn't imagine fighting smoking and eating together, none the less having kids to take care of at the same time.
Don't be so hard on yourself. Congrats on that 10 days smoke-free! That's wonderful!! Maybe you'll now be able to make some small changes in your diet, but I wouldn't set crazy standards for yourself.
To battle both at the same time at the same rate would be impossible I would think. So applaud yourself for each success and then try and balance the success a little more with small steps in either direction. But don't feel bad if it isn't instant success.
05-20-2009, 11:37 AM
Congratulations on stopping smoking. Since you have made 1 VERY healthy change in your lifestyle, maybe you should change your eating habits slowly.
When I first started losing weight I concentrated on changing one unhealthy eating habit a month. So I took a month to get in the habit of eating breakfast, a month to get the portion size under control, a month to concentrate on fruits and veggies. All the while trying to maintain the prior months' healthy habits. (This might explain why it's taken me 3 years to lose 75 pounds--BUT it WASN"T the hardest thing I've ever done, not by a long shot.) And I've been able to get my eating under control and maintain ALMOST all my healthy habits.
05-20-2009, 02:43 PM
Quitting smoking is huge! I have been smoke free since Dec of 2006 and it makes such a difference in my life and my skin. Do this for a few months and then hit it hard. Success builds on success.
05-20-2009, 06:13 PM
Rochemist - I haven't seen you in forever! Hi there!
05-20-2009, 11:55 PM
First of all congrats and :bravo: on quitting smoking...trust me...before long you will begin to see and SMELL other people that smoke and think it is disgusting...I used to smoke and I can smell stinky cigarette smoke a mile away now....YUCK!
Secondly...you have the RIGHT idea...don't try to tackle everything all at once right??? So you have tackled smoking...maybe now just tackle breakfast.
Decide ideally how many calories you think you would like to have for breakfast (usually 300-400 calories if you eventually want to be on a 1200-1500 calorie per day diet) and find plenty of recipes or meal ideas for breakfast.....just focus on starting your day with a healthy breakfast for a couple weeks....
then add a healthy snack....
then go to lunch... so forth and so on until you not only have quit smoking...but you also heat healthy/low cal all day long and it is a habit...
then you can go to exercise...start with 15 minutes of walking per day....and each week at 15 more minutes....when you have worked up to walking 45-60 minutes at a time you can work on increasing the incline or the intensity
Then you can add strength training....maybe just start with a simple 15 min routine of push ups, crunches, lunges, squats, curls, etc....and then add more reps and stuff till your doing it for 30-60 minutes a couple times a week...
If you spread all of this out over 6 months or so...all of this will be a habit...no hair pulling...and the weight will melt away.
Of course all of this is easier said that done...cause we all want the weight to be gone RIGHT NOW! But you didn't gain it over night...and it won't go away over night...