100 lb. Club - I'm disgusted with myself......




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wendymeows
05-18-2009, 10:17 AM
I have slipped BIG time in the past few months. I have gained back 30 pounds of my original loss and can't believe it!! I feel so disgusted that I let it sneak back on me. No exercise, not eating right....right back to my old ways. I would sit here before and read how other people slip and it would blow my mind how they worked so hard for something to let it get back out of hand and now I know how easy it can happen. Why is it so hard to get back in the game now? I started back on plan today but I have to admit that it is only halfhearted because I have really let myself down. I am setting small goals....I need to prove to myself that I can do right for the next 7 days and will just take it week by week...is that the best way? How do I stop my pity party and get back into it? :(


chickiegirl
05-18-2009, 10:38 AM
I think small goals sound great, that's exactly how I started. But push past it being half-hearted -- you don't have to feel some magical revolution, you just need to force yourself to make better choices today. Then deal with tomorrow.

I know you feel bad, but it's done and you've decided to do something about it. Don't let the re-gain drag you down any further. You're human, we're all human, slips will happen. But it's how we deal with them that will define our lifestyle.

Please keep going! You're so worth it!!

Lexxiss
05-18-2009, 10:57 AM
Hi Wendy:sunny:

I can relate to how you feel. I, too, had gained back 20 of my hard lost pounds this last winter. I kept saying that I was going to turn it around before I gained it all back, but I kept on eating stuff I KNEW was facilitating the weight gain.
My moment came on May 1st when we were going to go to Utah with our friends. I was trying to pack, and the new clothes I had didn't fit, so I had to pack the fat rags. I was so disgusted!
When I got home Monday I started back on plan. I agree with chickie its one day at a time for me. Today is day 14 and I am down 6 pounds. I still feel a bit disappointed, but there is no magic pill for me. I have to create and stick to good habits, and discontinue the old ones.
Best wishes. I have found alot of daily support here. I am following South Beach, so thats where you'll find me.

Debbie R


Nada
05-18-2009, 10:59 AM
Don't spend time on recriminations--it's self defeating. Reconnect and remember. What did you do to lose your original weight? How did it feel to be in control? What were your favorite foods to eat on plan? Make a list. There are a lot of suggestions for stopping a slide but the one tha thas worked best for me is to get rid of "fat clothes". I can avoid the scale but I have to have jeans that don't cut off circulation.

nelie
05-18-2009, 11:09 AM
Ignore the past and start making a plan. Work day by day to stay on plan. Come here and post :) You can do this. You may have gained some weight but you didn't gain it all back which is a good thing.

rockinrobin
05-18-2009, 11:52 AM
How do I stop my pity party and get back into it? :(

You decide to. That's it. You take the bull by the horns and say "enough is enough". No more of this c#@p. I deserve better then this.

What's past - is past. Over and done with. The only thing that matters is what you do from here on in.

Go back to dieting "101". Set yourself up for success!! MAKE A PLAN. A sensible, stick-to- it-able PLAN. Get rid of the junk - keeping it around never, ever works. You can't eat it if it's not there. ADD in healthy, delicious, nutritious and tasty foods. Eat frequently avoiding that hungry, munchie, snack-y feeling. Drink lots of water. Move more. GET INTO IT!!! GET EXCITED!!! Know that you are more then capable of doing this - and get out there and DO IT!!! Because you CAN. And you SHOULD. You won't regret it for a teeny, tiny second. :hug:

DCHound
05-18-2009, 11:55 AM
Instead of beating yourself up for gaining 30 lbs, you should celebrate the fact that you ONLY GAINED 30 LBS!!! When I lost all this weight the first time (!!!) OH HOW GRATEFUL I WOULD BE if I'd only gained 30, instead of 150!!!!!! I'd be a stick figure now LOL.

Seriously, give yourself some credit. You caught it waaaaaaaaaay before it got totally out of control. Celebrate yourself ~ you are awesome! And you are going to do it permanently this time. Go go go!!

beerab
05-18-2009, 12:24 PM
Hey it's only 30 lbs! You can bounce back, tell yourself okay I went overboard now it's time to get back on track!

cfmama
05-18-2009, 01:50 PM
What DC said! and you know what? Fake it till ya make it. Seriously. One day after another and you'll get there. *hugs*

Windchime
05-18-2009, 02:41 PM
You decide to. That's it. You take the bull by the horns and say "enough is enough". No more of this c#@p. I deserve better then this.

What's past - is past. Over and done with. The only thing that matters is what you do from here on in.



What Robin said. And here are a couple more suggestions:

Remove loaded words and phrases like "disgusted with myself" from your vocabularly. It's really just a method that we use to beat up on ourselves. It's not motivating; it's an insult that you are hurling at yourself. Believe me, I've done it to myself often enough and I know where you are coming from, but it doesn't help to tell yourself how disgusted you are, what a failure, etc. At least it never helped me; it just made me feel worse. The world is hurtful and cruel enough; there is nothing helpful about piling on more hurt! :hug:

Something that helped me was to remind myself: I am a grownup now. I cannot eat like a teenager because I don't have the metabolism of a teenager any more. As a grownup, it is my responsibility to just make this decision and then DO it. Period. Like Robin said, you just decide and then you do it. If I had waited for motivation and willpower to come, I'd still be waiting. To me, the motivation *follows* the action, it doesn't precede it. We take action, we see results, and thus we become more dedicated and committed. Just as overeating and inactivity begets bad feelings, which begets more overeating and inactivity, so does action and exercise beget good feelings, good results, and more action and exercise.

This line of thinking may not be helpful for everyone but it sure helped me. It's really just my way of saying, "Suck it up, Princess. Get busy." (Another poster used that phrase and I loved it, so I stole it).

Glory87
05-18-2009, 03:27 PM
It's great to get back on plan today - but you do need to figure out why you hit your goal weight and went back to your old habits. Was your plan too restrictive, were you tired of what you were eating - what made it hard to stick to? Losing the 30 lbs again won't do you any good unless you figure out how to stop regaining.

Get back on plan and start thinking TODAY how you're going to maintain your weight loss. Come by the maintainer's forum and start being the maintainer you are.

I do want to say - you are due some big congratulations for your weight loss!

Slashnl
05-18-2009, 03:59 PM
You did it before and you can do it again! I know how you feel, but you have to put that all in the past and just look to the future!

Star2Be
05-18-2009, 10:16 PM
Remove loaded words and phrases like "disgusted with myself" from your vocabularly. It's really just a method that we use to beat up on ourselves. It's not motivating; it's an insult that you are hurling at yourself. Believe me, I've done it to myself often enough and I know where you are coming from, but it doesn't help to tell yourself how disgusted you are, what a failure, etc. At least it never helped me; it just made me feel worse. The world is hurtful and cruel enough; there is nothing helpful about piling on more hurt! :hug:
That is absolutely what I was going to say... Whatever you do - and I *know* you will make the right choices and move on from this - please don't beat yourself up too badly... Please, just love yourself and remember how amazing you are. You have already come SO far in your weight loss, and you're taking such a big step by stopping this little slip backwards right NOW before it gets even worse--that takes a huge amount of courage and strength, and you should be feeling PROUD of yourself right now, not disgusted. Like Windchime said, I am also extremely guilty of doing this, but she is 100% correct that it really doesn't help anything; it only makes you feel worse. Right now you need to give yourself a little love and focus on everything you have already accomplished... Take the baby steps towards rebuilding up your healthy habits ("fake it 'til you make it" is a great mentality to try, IMO), and celebrate all of your achievements wholeheartedly--you deserve to feel absolutely great about yourself and all that you're capable of doing... And now here's your chance to prove that you can KEEP doing it! :)

Good luck getting back on track, chicky! We're all here for you! :hug:

Trazey34
05-19-2009, 12:21 PM
absolutely ~ "Disgusted with myself" is doing NO ONE any good.... NONE of us, NOT ONE OF US would EVER IN A GABILLION YEARS read a post of someone gaining weight back and say "wow i'm so disgusted by her" NO, we would say "Ugh that sucks big time! go get 'em this time girlie" because we know but for the Grace, it would be US, so NO JUDGEY McJUDGES here, INCLUDING YOU!!!!

wow could use CAPS more????? heheheheh

pfft it's only 30 lbs., get rid of it, REMEMBER how $hitty this feels and don't do it again :D

rockinrobin
05-19-2009, 01:57 PM
absolutely ~ "Disgusted with myself" is doing NO ONE any good.... NONE of us, NOT ONE OF US would EVER IN A GABILLION YEARS read a post of someone gaining weight back and say "wow i'm so disgusted by her" NO, we would say "Ugh that sucks big time! go get 'em this time girlie" because we know but for the Grace, it would be US, so NO JUDGEY McJUDGES here, INCLUDING YOU!!!!


Good way to think of it Trazey. Why oh why can't we think about and treat ourselves like we do others? :dizzy: :?: :dizzy:

I've said this before, I'll most likely say it again - we need to become our own best friends.

Windchime
05-19-2009, 02:42 PM
Good way to think of it Trazey. Why oh why can't we think about and treat ourselves like we do others? :dizzy: :?: :dizzy:

I've said this before, I'll most likely say it again - we need to become our own best friends.

I agree, totally. I'm doing a lot better, but in the past I've been my own worst enemy. I would say and think mean, horrible, cruel things to myself that nobody would ever say out loud to anyone else and I would never dream of thinking about anyone else. It's not about babying ourselves or being spoiled or letting ourselves off the hook; it's about allowing ourselves to be human and knowing that failure doesn't mean that we're horrible losers. It just means that we have room for improvement, that's all.

I've really been thinking a lot about something that Kaplods has said several times: It makes no sense that the common thought is that the beginning of our new way of eating is when we are the strongest and most successfull, and it's basically downhill from there. That makes NO SENSE! As she points out, learning a new way of eating is like any other skill....we might be a little wobbly at first. Some of us will need training wheels at first. We will have scraped knees and bruised egos and maybe a little frosting hangover the next day, but we will get back on plan and next time, we'll be a little stronger and a little more stable. But we MUST allow ourselves that little bit of wobbling and steering off into the bushes at first. Lance Armstrong would not be the person he is today if he had thrown up his hands and said, "I'm a disgusting loser! I quit!" the first time he crashed his bike.

So we must keep plugging away. We must dust ourselves off, examine the equipment or the eating plan to see if there are flaws or weak spots, and then get back on plan. It's fine to say, "Oops, I goofed! I see now where I need to avoid that street where the big scary dog/cupcakes are until I have better skills!" But to beat ourselves up for being weak or a failure when we are in reality a toddler who is just learning is very counter-productive.

I hope that the OP doesn't feel like I am beating up on her. I'm not. I'm commiserating, because I know how it feels to have your own worst enemy living inside your head.

Slashnl
05-19-2009, 03:30 PM
Well said, Windchime!

Stella
05-19-2009, 05:23 PM
I have lost (and vowed never to get fat again!) and regained weight loads of times and can fully empathize with you.

But remember - you have proven yourself that you can do it! Unfortunately, you need to do it again, but you now know that you can, which should make you even stronger than you felt when you succeeded the first time round!!

Stella

Star2Be
05-20-2009, 12:16 AM
Yes yes yes, rockinrobin and Windchime are right on the money! That's exactly what I was trying to say, but you both put it much more eloquently than I could have, heh. Now for the task of learning to practice what I (we) preach... :o

Tummy Girl
05-20-2009, 12:59 AM
Congrats on getting back on the wagon regardless of what extra you have!

Personally, I chalk my regain up to not knowing why I was heavy in the first place so the universe is giving me a second chance to learn the reason and correct the reason that I have always had an unhealthy relationship with food.

You can do it, and like the others said be kind to yourself, you're worth it!

Rosinante
05-20-2009, 02:18 AM
I agree with all of the good stuff above.

Rejoice that you caught it at 30 (mine was 90).

Celebrate that you are now back on the wagon.

You're not disgusting, you've just learned that the price of continued slimness/healthiness is perpetual vigilence - that's a lesson worth 30lbs in the great scheme of your life.

Commit just today to being the day when you do it 'right', whatever your right was, for a whole day. Don't worry about tomorrow, you can make that good choice again tomorrow.

Good luck.

Gela
05-22-2009, 09:09 AM
I'm in the same boat. I was near onederland and then fell off. I haven't been consistently good this year at all and gained 20 pounds. Here's to a new start for both of us. Today I start over.

Star2Be
05-23-2009, 12:11 PM
^ :hug: WTG getting back on track, girly. Today is a new day! Stick with it, and you'll be celebrating your entrance into Onederland in no time! ;)

Gela
05-23-2009, 04:54 PM
:hug: Wendy keep posting here regularly like you used to. I know that helps me a lot.

kim83
05-23-2009, 08:07 PM
keep at it and don't give up. Just pick up where you left off and lose those 30 lbs. :)

Thighs Be Gone
05-23-2009, 08:34 PM
What Robin said.

If I had waited for motivation and willpower to come, I'd still be waiting. To me, the motivation *follows* the action, it doesn't precede it. We take action, we see results, and thus we become more dedicated and committed. Just as overeating and inactivity begets bad feelings, which begets more overeating and inactivity, so does action and exercise beget good feelings, good results, and more action and exercise.

.


So very, very true in my opinion.