Weight Loss Surgery - Socially Isolated and not eventful




worthylady
05-17-2009, 08:27 PM
I realized that I am little past 30 and well past 15 years of being overweight, I am a bit socially delayed :(. Now that I am shedding the pounds I am having to reinvent myself and realize that for years I have not been enjoying life. I am pledging to live life to the fullest. I am so young to feel stagnant and held back because of weight. I am learning to have fun and live in the moment. I always planned everything college, career and hope for a family. I didn't and don't know how to just be around people because I felt secluded living in my morbidly obese world. It was me and food and while it was fun at the time, its not anymore. Has anyone gone through this :?:


nelie
05-17-2009, 08:41 PM
I hit 300 lbs somewhere around age 14 so I would say my obesity affected my life quite a bit. Dating was tough and opening up to others was tough. I started dating my husband when I was at 300 lbs (down from 364) at age 30. I'm not really that social of a person anyway though because its part of my personality. Not sure if my personality is so strongly shaped by my early obesity? Who knows.

chickiegirl
05-18-2009, 12:40 AM
I am in my early 30s and part of the reason I want to lose the weight and change now is so I can still enjoy things while I am young.

When I am eating badly, I basically just want to hole up with food. It's uncomfortable to go out, you don't want to try new things. For me, it's basically existing day to day with spurts of pleasure from the food.

And I have now been overweight almost consistently for about eight years.

So I relate to what you're saying. And it is upsetting. And it is sad, but it's not over. There's still lots of time to do what we need to do and get out there and enjoy things.

Sounds like you've already started. Good luck.


missangelaks
05-18-2009, 07:14 PM
Oh honey!!!! I get that! I was house bound for 2 years and only found the strength to go get food and then run back, hide in my house and eat it. I tell you, it was a conscious decision (one you sound like you have made too) to get the heck out, take my life back and live it! I remember standing at my front door, nervous and shaking, heading out for my first WW meeting...telling myself that it will be ok and "there's a whole entire world out there and I'm going to live in it!!" The ww didn't take and it took me many years to actually have surgery but I count THAT as the day I began to live!

I look at the weighloss I've had as a metephore for shedding the fear I carried...with each fat cell that depleted it's store, I pictured the strength and power being squeezed out.

I go out now and LIVE...Love my family and many, many friends (most of which I made in the last year) and I Dance! I have met sooooo many people and a wonderful man in doing so. I have a smile on my face not only because of the weight loss and smaller sized clothes but because I set out to live in the world, with all it's good and bad (ok sometimes down right awful) and have taken it by storm...taking back my power, my life and holding onto it with both hands!

Angela :hug:

worthylady
05-19-2009, 12:20 AM
Well thank you all for your words of wisdom. I expected changes but not having to find my sexy again at a smaller size. I thought I was pretty sexy at 348 and now that I am losing weight, I realize that I was living in denial about how I appeared to others. I don't want to just be sexy for "my size" as I was so often told by the opposite sex. I am learning how to just be sexy in my own skin. So yes Ms. Angela I plan to live as I rediscover myself.

Leenie
05-19-2009, 05:09 PM
:hug:

KO
05-19-2009, 05:34 PM
Grab Life By the Horns!!!! You can do it!

nelie
05-19-2009, 06:28 PM
You know its interesting, at my highest weight, I had no issue with wearing shorts. Now, I have no interest. Capris all the way. I often feel less attractive now that I was at my highest weight or even close to it. Although these are body image issues that many of us who have been overweight (obese, morbidly obese) have to face. There is even a body image forum on this web site:

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=219

Overall, you are not alone.

worthylady
05-21-2009, 11:04 PM
Well looks like I will jump over to that forum as well. Thanks :)

nanj
05-22-2009, 08:38 AM
Worthylady, I had this little circle of church group, family group and the people that I worked with and for years didn't step out of that circle. I'm still uncomfortable when someone comments or compliments me about my WL. At times, I still look in the mirror and don't recognize myself but.....I want to run up and down the hills, bend over in the garden, camp with my family, chase my grandchildren, snuggle with my DH, go shopping, eat out without being embarrassed about my size and the size of the mound of food in front of me, to use regular bathroom stalls and not the handicap one, go to a movie and sit in a seat comfortably, met new friends out on the golf course, enjoy the nice WARM weather, walk the malls, go see my GKs and DH play ball and not sit in the car. Man, I could go on forever. My dear, you are young, I was your age about 15 minutes ago. Get up, get going, and each new experience will edge you further and further into a world of friends and social and LIFE. You have missed so much already. I know it is hard after years of setting back and watching the world go by, but you can do it!