Weight Loss Support - Shopping for clothes, grrrrrrr!!!

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05-16-2009, 09:05 PM
So someone here on 3FC mentioned the "black hole" in clothing sizes and I can't find the post now, but I experienced it big-time today. I've been invited to the home of a friend for a wine-bottling (he's a weekend wine maker) and wine/hard cider tasting tomorrow. I thought it would be fun to have a new top to wear, so off to town I went.

Gahhhhhh!!!!! I'm very busty but my shoulders and waist are not proportionately huge. So normal "Ladies' " sizes that go up to XL are generally fine through the shoulders and middle, but skin-tight over the girls. I don't mean sexy snug, I mean REALLY tight. Scary tight. I thought maybe today I'd find something, because sometimes I can and hey, I've lost 24 pounds, right? Nope. Everything was TIGHT. So I went back to the women's department where the tops are all HUGE, baggy tents. Nothing fitted or fun, except for one cute t-shirt with a peace sign on the front that was a definite contender. Nope. The neck gaped and it was so long it covered my entire rear end. It did fit through the bust, but was too big everywhere else (size 0x).

I ended up finding a few basic colored, v-neck tshirts at JCPenney and I'll just wear one of those. It's nothing fancy, but it'll do. It's too bad; I started out the day feeling so good. I had to find smaller undies in my drawer, my jeans are too big (but the next size down? WAY too tight, same style and brand), my hair looked good. By the time I got done, I just felt like a fat, middle-aged mom who was kidding herself into thinking that she'll ever really be in a smaller size or ever really look too much better.

It's depressing. I don't like how I started the day feeling happy and positive and ended feeling fat and old and bummed out that there is nothing in this town that fits. And I'm tired of lugging these huge jugs around--when are they going to get smaller so I can buy a stupid shirt??!

05-16-2009, 09:24 PM
It WILL happen, and once it starts, it will happen quickly. Really! I promise! Even the "girls" will shrink into normal size clothing.

In the mean time - work with what you have, accessorize in funky ways so that you feel better about your wardrobe.

I had several pants "black holes" on my journey - there were periods when I wore nothing but skirts because I couldn't abide my saggy baggies and the next smaller size was - well - NOT flattering, to say the least.

05-16-2009, 09:42 PM
The jeans thing is VERY perplexing to me. My current jeans are hanging; I have to wear a belt with them and they get all baggy and saggy within a few minutes of putting them on. The next size down, same brand, same style, same EVERYTHING, is skin-tight. Not just a little tight, but oh-my-gosh-i-cannot-breathe tight.

I did finally move down to my old (smaller bras). Yeah. 38G to a 36G. Big deal, LOL. I know that a G on a 36 is smaller than a G on a 38, but come on! Can I please have a D or something, just for once in my life?

05-17-2009, 02:23 AM
i'm really sorry.

i hate it too.

i mean hate it.

but you know what?

very very few people's clothes fit them properly. it's not just bigger people. it's a consequence of the mass production of clothing. it's awful, but we keep buying it because tailoring is so far out of reach for most people.

it'll get better, but i understand intimately how you feel right now.

blargh eh?


05-17-2009, 10:13 AM
We have a store called Bravissimo in the UK that caters for those with ample boobs. They do three fittings curvy, really curvy and super curvy in clothing. They do mail order but you might find it expensive to get things sent to you. Their tops are great though.

Can't help you out with the pants 'black hole' though as I'm in one at the moment. All my 14s need belts and from the back I have the 'elephant bum' look but 12s are just too snug to be decent. Anyone know where I can get pants to fit a 31" waist but a 43" hip?


05-17-2009, 10:51 AM
I wear a lot of jackets ... blazers. If I find one that fits ... it gets worn out. With any colour blouse, tshirt, tank. I'm getting into beaded necklaces too.

Interim clothing, I call it. Sooner or later a tshirt and skirt will be fine for church but just now ... I need something that skims my lumpy middle.

Can you get that one tailored? Nip up the shoulders and shortened. I've been amazed by what my local seamstress can do.

05-17-2009, 11:34 AM
Windchime - there is hope for the "girls". Once I reached goal, they FINALLY shrunk down to a "D". Of course much of that is saggy, baggy SKIN :lol:

It will happen! Patience, Grasshopper!

05-17-2009, 11:38 AM
I feel your pain! On a recent trip to find a new pair of capris, I tried on over 25 pairs! It was very depressing because I was so pumped about my success and wanted to treat myself to something new. I ended up feeling horrible, not to mention I'm sure I was ticking off the dressing room attendant who had to put all of them back! Be patient, keep doing what you are doing, things will get better!

05-17-2009, 11:45 AM
I am struggling to get by with clothes at the moment, I had a pretty ample wardrobe when I was bigger, lots of smaller things that I didn't want to throw away because I liked them which meant as I lost weight I could wear them.

I threw out everything smaller than a UK16 and now I'm a 14 I've had to go and buy new basics and jeans being the main thing as I tend to live in them! I buy my Skinny Flares from GAP, got them in a 16 in Easter, and I went to buy them in a 14 a week ago and they are a little too small but my old ones are HUGE...so hard!

It also doesn't help that I have big thighs, a flat bum and a big stomach!

05-17-2009, 04:48 PM
While my top size has shrunk from a 5X to a 1-2X... my boobs are STILL a 42 FF. STILL. I've gone from a 48 FF to a 42. That's it. I feel ya on finding clothes to fit these puppies.

I joke that I'm a 42 long. lol!

05-17-2009, 07:02 PM
Hi there!
Ms Windchime, don't feel like crap. I too lug around some ample "ladies" with me and it gets SO frustrating because I'm only 1 cup size smaller than when I started. But overall I'm down from a 20/22 to a size 14/16. In the pant. I can't find anything for my top, so I settle for ANYTHING without buttons. I'm sick of the buttons straining and popping open. Not that DH minds, but I digress...
You'll have a great time with your friend, and you ARE smaller, and eventually, it will all even out. And to think there are people who want to get breast enlargements from a C to a DDD!!! Oy!!!


05-17-2009, 07:06 PM
psh i know how you feel. i went to try and find a swimsuit today. HAH. what a joke. ive been thinking that i look really good lately and so i thought it might look good. please, my whole body looks like a bowl of lumpy mashed potatoes. and its impossible to find a tankini that fits my boobs right with out making them look squishy and weird. i guess no swimming for me:(

05-17-2009, 07:21 PM
Ms xpinkglowx2! Don't think of it this way!
You need to be in the pool. Go to a plus-size store and find a sport bathing suit. This may not be your year for the fabulous tankini (I STILL don't fit into anything for sale at Bikini Village), but 2010 WILL be the year! Or the fall of 2009!
And get yourself a fake tan. You will look like smooth mashed yams instead of like lumpy white potatoes! You'll feel amazing, and with a sleek black one-piece sport suit (Roots makes GREAT ones that I get at Addition Elle), you'll be amazing. Pair this with a shawl-type coverup tied at an angle over your hips to help disguise those "problem areas" and a FABULOUS sun hat, you'll look and feel like a million bucks.
Trust me!

05-17-2009, 07:22 PM
Personally, I don't think designers have a clue as to what real women look like. Even at my lowest-in-my-life weight (125 lbs) I had problems finding clothing. It's always been a nightmare for me.

05-17-2009, 07:27 PM
a tank with a fitted top over it but unbuttoned at the bust to reveal the tank.....I can wear a medium in a button up top if I do this if not it has to be an XL to button across the girls. Sad but true.

05-17-2009, 07:39 PM
I can so relate!

However, a slight suggestion for the interim, get the baggy shirts but then get a really cute funky belt or even a really cute scarf (to be used as a belt) and wear with the shirt. That way you see your progress and look really hip at the same time. Add some cool earrings, bracelets, etc. and you can do a lot with those baggy shirts to make them look more fitted and stylish while still having plenty of room for the girls.

At any rate, good luck. I purged my closet yesterday and now have 3 pairs of jeans, about 10 - 14 shirts, 6 pairs of undies and 2 bras that actually fit (mostly) I have a lot of empty drawers and can't buy much as I'm still 47 lbs or so away from goal.....but at least what I have mostly fits and the "fat" start clothes are gone completely!

Oh, and about the tankini's! Try the halter style tankini, the regular tankini's always looked horrible on me, but the halter ones work a little better. Also check out water water everywhere and look around online. There are a lot of places that you can buy top and bottom separately just for that reason. At any rate, good luck.

05-17-2009, 09:16 PM
I joke that I'm a 42 long. lol!

Hahahha! That's what I am, a 38 Long! Actually, I am a pair of 38 Longs.

05-17-2009, 09:21 PM
Ms xpinkglowx2! Don't think of it this way!
You need to be in the pool. Go to a plus-size store and find a sport bathing suit.

I hope that Pinkglow's experience with one-piece swimsuits is better than mine. I'm too long through the body even for the "long torso" one-pieces that Land's End sells. They just aren't long enough, and even if they were there isn't nearly enough support. The cups that are made for "full figures" usually max out at C or D. I have seen swim suit tops that are underwires and come big enough, but I'm not really willing to expose my flabby belly to anyone yet. I can't tell you how long it's been since I've been in a pool; decades, I'm sure. As another poster said, designers and swim suit makers have no idea how real women look. Either that, or maybe they figure that if you're not thin, you shouldn't be going in the pool. :( It's depressing!

PS...I had a ball at the wine/cider tasting. Good company, good food, sitting outside in wonderful weather.

05-17-2009, 09:38 PM
I absolutely don't wear any underwire nor padding in my suits. The ladies are too, too big and I don't need enhancement! My bras come from specialty shops, and the underwire never, ever fits.

I hope you find one that fits you! I really do, because the pool is awesome in the summer!

Glad your cider/wine tasting went really, really well! -hic-


05-18-2009, 02:07 AM
You need to be in the pool. Go to a plus-size store and find a sport bathing suit. This may not be your year for the fabulous tankini (I STILL don't fit into anything for sale at Bikini Village), but 2010 WILL be the year! Or the fall of 2009!
And get yourself a fake tan.

im not a one piece person. never have been. refuse to wear it. i was trying on bikinis today in which i looked like lumpy mashed potatoes, so i wanted a tankini instead to hide some of the lumpy-ness but i dont even look for tankinis because i cant ever find one. (i have noticed the halters are better, i was real interested in victorias secret ones because they come in cup sizes and my friend owned one in which it made her rack look fantastic! my only problem is that you have to order them online, and i have to try everything on!) and i dont need a tan. lol im surbian. i go outside for five minutes, im suddenly hispanic for 6 months. i didnt mean potatoes as in white, i just meant.. lumpy. lol also - i have a problem becuase if i DO wear a bikini, i need the bottoms to be ties otherwise it sucks in too much and makes my fat bulge. but i need the top to be just regular halter, not string because my boobs are too big to wear a string top, those tops were NOT made for large chested people.

also - im extremely long too. im 5'11 and ive measured (odd i know) and 42 inches (over half of me) is legs. youd think id look good? lol

05-18-2009, 05:20 AM
I hate the clothing black hole :( At the moment my jeans are far too big but the next size are far too small. I managed to find one pair of jeans that are supposed to be the same size of my big jeans but are tighter but I'm desperate to get down to the next clothes size then i can find new jeans. Bought new T-shirts which also don't fit right and my tummy shows through them too much but the bigger size are like tents :( Looking forward to getting down to the next size then I won't have this problem for a while.

05-18-2009, 06:03 AM
I find it doesn't matter how much I weigh, clothes just aren't made for real people. They are made for manequins! Bathing suits are impossible for me also. I can wear pants in the 4 to 8 size range (depending on which stores vanity size) yet my bra size is a 32G. My girls topple out of everything and I can't do a two peice with my saggy tummy and stretch marks. Guess its another year of shorts and baggy Tshirts for the pool.

05-18-2009, 12:32 PM
I find it doesn't matter how much I weigh, clothes just aren't made for real people. They are made for manequins! Bathing suits are impossible for me also. I can wear pants in the 4 to 8 size range (depending on which stores vanity size) yet my bra size is a 32G. My girls topple out of everything and I can't do a two peice with my saggy tummy and stretch marks. Guess its another year of shorts and baggy Tshirts for the pool.

Tami, look! Tankinis in size 32G!


05-18-2009, 01:02 PM
Aw, you are SO not alone! All my jeans are saggy and gross on me, and this weekend I went to go find some new ones. I started out really happy and excited, but when I got to the store, nothing fit! Everything looked absolutely AWFUL on me. The size that I was hoping to buy just did not work out, and the next size up looked baggy and ridiculous. I had a total mental breakdown in the mall and had to walk what felt like a mile crying my eyes out, like a fool.

It happens to everyone, give it a few weeks and try again
Or maybe we should all get sewing machines....

05-18-2009, 01:23 PM
I've gotten to the point where I only go clothes shopping when I'm already feeling gross and depressed. That way, I don't lose a good mood unnecessarily.

There's definitely a black hole, esp. if you are larger or don't fit the standard measurements, which many of us don't.

What's sad is that I remember being 130 pounds and STILL having trouble finding nice things to wear and feeling like a cow at some stores because nothing cute fit. I was TINY! WTF. So, I guess it's no surprise that it's that much harder at 170.

I feel your pain, sistah! :hug:

Fat Pants
05-18-2009, 03:29 PM
Windchime!! I wanted to respond because I have lost about the same amount as you (27 lbs) and have about the same amount to lose (40 lbs). Yeah... I had the SAME EXPERIENCE this weekend! I figured for sure after 27 lbs that I would be down a size in pants? Not so. The 14s barely fit, but give me a major muffin top. :yikes: I felt exactly like you... so hopeful, but left feeling fat and discouraged. :(

I also am "blessed" in the boob region and have always had trouble finding tops. Button shirts are the worst. Either they fit right in the stomach area, but too tight in the chest, or just right in the chest, but now look like I'm 4 mos pregnant in the stomach area. Man, we just can't win!!