100 lb. Club - A lesson from my mother

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05-15-2009, 03:58 AM
After a year in the hospital, losing both legs and living with complete renal failure for the past five or so years, my mother died last night. I am so relieved that she is not suffering anymore. The last two months of her life were brutal. She lived in constant pain, she had a mild stroke that left her right side of the face paralyzed. She suffered so much.

The decision was made on Monday to stop all medical treatment including dialysis. They reassured us renal failure is a peaceful way to go and she would slip into a coma and not feel any pain. They gave us a timeline of 3-7 days. It happened quickly.My dad and I were there holding her hands when she left us and she looked so peaceful.

It is a lesson learned not to end up in her situation. She ignored her diabetes for years and years and it eventually caught up with her. What a terrible disease it is when left untreated.

I do not (touch wood) have diabetes but it runs through both sides of my family. I know by being heavy I am dancing a fine line. I have no choice, I have to get this weight off. Just before I fell asleep last night I said to my husband "I know I have to die eventually, but I don't want it to be like that". I want to die an old woman in my bed having led the majority of my life healthy and happy.

I love you mom...rest in peace.

05-15-2009, 05:05 AM
Gumboot - what can I say?
I am so sorry for your loss and at the same time can appreciate the idea that it is a relief for you that your mom is no longer suffering.
Remember her as she was in better days.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

05-15-2009, 08:04 AM
Gumboot, :cry: I'm so sorry for your mom's suffering and also yours and your dad's.

I lost a friend to untreated diabetes. She was only 50 years old.

Do your best not to go there! :yes:


05-15-2009, 08:14 AM
I am really sorry for your loss. That is a lesson for sure, one i wish you didn't have to learn though.

05-15-2009, 08:33 AM
I am so very sorry for your family's loss. I know what it is to lose someone that suffered. My mom died 2 years ago of cancer, she was 53. I also was relieved that the suffering was over. Take care of you and your family and may God bless you and keep you.

05-15-2009, 08:55 AM
I am so sorry for your loss, Gumboot. And I admire the way you are finding a positive in all the negatives things your mom went through. Thank you for sharing this powerful story with us.

05-15-2009, 09:24 AM
I'm sorry for your loss. :hug:

05-15-2009, 09:27 AM
:hug: gumboot

05-15-2009, 09:30 AM

I too am sorry for your loss and for the suffering your mom and your family has gone through. I just said a prayer for you and your family.

You are wise to take action to prevent you having diabetes. I am sure that you will succeed in your weight loss.


05-15-2009, 10:23 AM
gumboot - I'm so sorry for your loss.

I lost 2 great grandparents to diabetes. I barely remember my great grandfather but I remember him getting 1 then the other leg cut off then him passing away shortly after that. My great grandma (his wife) went blind due to diabetes shortly after that and lived about 15 years after that but probably because someone else (nurse) was keeping her diabetes in check. Neither of them had a weight problem either, my great grandma was tiny tiny but just didn't keep her diabetes or diet in check.

05-15-2009, 10:26 AM
I am so sorry for your loss, but also understand completely about wanting her to be out of her pain. What a wonderful gift she has unknowingly given you. I am sure you will treasure it and use it for all it is worth.

05-15-2009, 10:38 AM
I'm so sorry for your loss. Diabetes is a terrible disease.

05-15-2009, 10:40 AM
Oh, gumboot, I'm sorry for your loss, and glad you were able to hold her hands as she left.

It's admirable that you are looking to positive changes in the midst of such hardship ~ not just in spite of it, but partly because of it ...

My grandmother has diabetes but it has been managed well for quite some time, and I admit I never really thought about diabetes very much until my mother-in-law was diagnosed. She is still a young woman and leaves it untreated. It is scary to me.

05-15-2009, 10:43 AM
Stay strong...


05-15-2009, 10:53 AM
I'm so sorry for your loss.

05-15-2009, 11:12 AM
I'm so sorry for your loss, gumboot. :hug:

05-15-2009, 11:28 AM
Gumboot, I'm sorry for your loss, and thank you for sharing that story with us. This is a lesson we can all learn from. :hug:

05-15-2009, 11:32 AM
I'm so sorry for your loss Gumboot.

05-15-2009, 11:33 AM
Thank you for sharing this with us. I am sorry for your loss.

05-15-2009, 11:40 AM
Gumboot - my heartfelt sympathy at the death of your mother.

I recently lost my stepfather. After Tom died, I just wanted excuses to talk about him and how wonderful he was - if you want to share any good stories of your mom, or other memories, please PM me. I would love to hear about her life and what made her a special, good mom to you.

My dad's mom died at a very early age from complications of diabetes (while my dad was still in high school) so I completely understand your dread of the disease. The fact all my grandparents died YOUNG (much much too young) was one of the catalysts for changing my life.

05-15-2009, 01:45 PM
My thoughts and prayers are for you, too.

05-15-2009, 01:56 PM
I am so sorry for your loss. :hug:

Thanks for sharing your lesson - I think it's one that we all need.

05-15-2009, 01:56 PM
:hug: I'm glad she went peacefully.

05-15-2009, 03:31 PM
I'm very sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

05-15-2009, 04:19 PM
My sympathies go out to you.

I lost my mom last year to something that could totally have been prevented. She was only 45. I thought that her death would kick my butt into losing weight. She had a much worse lifestyle than I have, but I still need to change. I don't feel very healthy. I've made some changes, but still haven't done what I need to do.

Good luck to you. Feel free to pm me if you ever want someone to talk to.

05-15-2009, 04:28 PM
My most sincere sympathies, as well - I am so so sorry for your loss. I too have been afraid of inheriting my father's diabetes and that has been a huge part of what has prompted me to finally start my journey, day by day to better health. Your mindset will see you through. I'm rooting for you. Living a long and healthy life maybe can make something good come out of her difficult and painful last years. Thank you so much for sharing this.

05-15-2009, 04:43 PM
I am truly sorry for your loss. Losing anyone close to disease is so hard and even harder when it's your parent. I'm glad to know that your mom went peacefully after so much pain.

Thank you for sharing this with us today - Its been years since any close family member passed on I just start to think we are all invinsible!

I think its good time to thank God that we are alive and healthy. Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

05-15-2009, 05:27 PM
:hug: Prayers ascending for you and your family! Your post shows a lot of courage and insight. I'm betting that you WILL lose this weight and overcome your genetic pre-dispositions.

05-15-2009, 05:39 PM
OH Gumboot. I am so so sorry for your loss :( *hugs*

05-15-2009, 06:45 PM
I am so very sorry for your loss and all the suffering that your Mom and the entire family has had to endure.

I wonder just how many people you affected with your incredibly heartfelt and articulate post, yet alone at such a difficult time. You've certainly made me stop and think.

I wish you all the best as you continue on your journey towards good health. :hug:

Thighs Be Gone
05-15-2009, 06:57 PM
I am just so sorry. May everything go as well as it can right now. God Bless you and may your mother be in peace.

05-15-2009, 07:37 PM
gumboot. I am so sorry for your loss. Of all the losses that occur in our lives, nothing compares to losing your mother, no matter how old we are. I am so proud to hear that you are going to take steps to improve your own health.

05-15-2009, 07:51 PM

05-15-2009, 09:52 PM
So sorry for your loss :hug:

05-15-2009, 10:35 PM
I am so sorry for your loss. I thought your post was very insightful. My mom also taught me a lesson. she died about 5 yrs ago after complications from gastric bypass. These lessons are hard to learn, but I am thankful that I will not follow in her foot steps. :hug: