100 lb. Club - When there's NOTHING on the menu for you




WhitePicketFences
05-13-2009, 11:14 AM
And I mean literally nothing. This is kind of a long post.

Background on me -- I am calorie counter and today is my 266th day on plan.

So I attending a family party in a small midwestern town. I'm packing my own luna bars, apples and yogurts for breakfasts and lunches on the road trip and at the hotel. I'm not concerned with the actual party dinner because it's banquet/buffet for hundreds of people and I will just take a little of something low-calorie.

However, it appears we are being taken out to dinner with a group of about 10 in-laws at least one other night. Extended relatives of my husband's, whom we see only every 3-5 years or so, are treating for a different, related celebration.

We are getting the plans second hand through my mother-in-law, who doesn't know or care which restaurant/s. I will probably find out that day which restaurant reservation it is. I could call his aunt and uncle to ask which restaurant, but that would be weird, as I've never really communicated with them before (they were unable to attend our wedding) and I do not want attention for being on a diet, especially as I am self-conscious and still fat.

ANYWAY. Now that the whiny background is out of the way -- this is a small midwestern town. I googled it and easily found that there are only like 5 restaurants there, with menus online.

It's outside of a city with more options, including many healthy ones, but if we're going to one of these in-town local restaurants -- which I suspect we are -- then I have a problem.

Because I have never, and I mean never, seen menus like this before. And I've looked up a lot of restaurants and made a lot of decent choices. These menus are the kind that don't even have a vegetarian option -- the only non-steak option at one is a "12 oz breaded chicken with a side of a loaf of bread and spagetti marinara-- no substitutions please"!! What?? Are you kidding me.

Another restaurant, save for a blue cheese salad with mystery dressing, [I]exclusively offers pasta in cream sauce dishes. Every dish is basically a box of pasta in a different, unknown cream sauce. All come with 3 incredibly carb-y/caloric sides, again no substitutions please. Crazy.

Another place's best entree is a 14" pizza. No kidding, the pizza is listed with the same cheap price alongside the pasta entrees. That at least was a relief because even if nobody would split it with me, I could get it and just have one piece.

There's an Outback Steakhouse, which as a chain has options for me, but on all the other, local menus? On all the other menus, literally any single option would be a week's worth of calories. Normally I would get one and eat just a couple oz of it -- which would look like I ate nothing, whatever -- but this time it is a smaller group where we are being treated (we have kind of been 'tacked on' because we're in town). Very obvious, probably pretty rude.

I don't see how I can order one of these dishes, because I know I will not eat it. One of the restaurants has an iffy appetizer and salad option, respectively, so ordering and eating a fraction of one of those might be acceptable.

But the others -- I just can't see a way. I am thinking I might just have to sheepishly claim a huge lunch and then not eat at all. I hate to be a weirdo, but ... ?

Have you been in this situation, or a situation like this? What did you do? And what do you think of me going out to dinner with this group and ... just not eating?


nelie
05-13-2009, 11:19 AM
I'm vegan so...

I do a lot of substitutions and honestly that can mean

1) Plain baked potato or sweet potato if it is an option
2) Salad, no salad dressing (or salsa if that is available)
3) Side of fruit
4) Pizza, no cheese, veggies only

Really, I've learned to adapt. Although I detested going to Outback but an out of country visitor insisted so we did not too long ago. It was the cheapest meal ever, order of plain sweet potato and 2 orders of plain (no butter) veggies. I think it was $5 if that.

Wanted to add that basically my strategy is to look at the entire menu and see what is on it and then make a 'meal of sides' if need be.

TheWalrus
05-13-2009, 11:24 AM
Maybe you could ask for the sauce, dressing, cheese, etc., on the side? Or is there a kid's portion?


JulieJ08
05-13-2009, 11:39 AM
I feel for you. I'm vegetarian, and while I'm really quite flexible about eating less than perfect foods while out, I have the feeling sooner or later I'm going to be stuck somewhere where the only vegetarian option is french fries.

Perhaps you can invoke doctor's orders. And fill up on something before you go.

Thighs Be Gone
05-13-2009, 11:42 AM
This past Saturday night I went to a surprise party at an Italian restaurant--very limited on healthy choices. I ended up ordering a house salad dry. Best of all, I left before they brought out the cake! :)

nelie
05-13-2009, 11:49 AM
The 'eat before you go' is a good trick too. That way you aren't hungry and the normally non tempting food won't be tempting.

barefootnikki
05-13-2009, 11:50 AM
You could just realize that it's *one* meal and one meal only. Make a choice and eat maybe 2/3 of it and then move on. And ENJOY your visit too!

WhitePicketFences
05-13-2009, 11:50 AM
I just realized that I gave the impression I'm a vegetarian. I'm not, actually (though I don't like red meat). It's just incredible to me that a whole menu would only have one non red meat option and the others wouldn't have a vegetarian, healthy or kiddie option at all. Everything was just fried/baked with pasta, meat and fatty sauces that they're cooked in. At least one or two of the restaurants didn't even have 'traditional' appetizers/salads.

I do like the making a meal with sides thing. I didn't dwell on the sides but maybe I'll take a closer look, especially for ones without a plain ol' house salad type of thing.

JuliaDH
05-13-2009, 11:52 AM
I agree with Nikki
Ask for take out dishes so when your order is up, fraction off what you will eat then take the rest back to the hotel, and do as you wish with it. ie dump it!

nelie
05-13-2009, 11:53 AM
I wasn't under the assumption that you are vegetarian but vegetarians encounter the issue a lot. Vegans more so.

Ija
05-13-2009, 11:55 AM
This past Saturday night I went to a surprise party at an Italian restaurant--very limited on healthy choices. I ended up ordering a house salad dry. Best of all, I left before they brought out the cake! :)

Honestly, I have to admit that sounds a little depressing to me. Personally, I don't know how you do it... I could never (and probably wouldn't want to, even if I could manage it) eat just a small dry salad for dinner.

WhitePicketFences
05-13-2009, 12:00 PM
You could just realize that it's *one* meal and one meal only. Make a choice and eat maybe 2/3 of it and then move on. And ENJOY your visit too!

I don't say, "it's only one meal," and anyway, it's not -- it's easily 4 dinner's worth to me.

WhitePicketFences
05-13-2009, 12:02 PM
I wasn't under the assumption that you are vegetarian but vegetarians encounter the issue a lot. Vegans more so.

Oh, yes. Having just a taste of this myself, I can only imagine. Especially for vegans.

JulieJ08
05-13-2009, 12:04 PM
I wasn't under the assumption that you are vegetarian but vegetarians encounter the issue a lot. Vegans more so.

Yup, me too. I got that you weren't vegetarian, I was just commiserating over having a similar problem. I hope it goes well for you.

WhitePicketFences
05-13-2009, 12:12 PM
Dry house salad is boring but I eat tasty foods at home and would gratefully take boring if it's either that or 1/4 of a dish for a couple thousand calories.

I guess I sound intense ... we're all in different places with what we're currently doing. Not going off plan is my main priority at this point in time. So certain dishes are just not going to be possible. I wouldn't have expected to find entire menus of these dishes, but hopefully we will be going somewhere else, better, or at least a common chain.

Ija
05-13-2009, 12:19 PM
1/4 of a dish for a couple thousand calories.

Is it possible you might be overestimating the calories a little? I would be surprised if the meals at these restaurants are 8000 calories a piece. The most caloric meals I've seen (without alcohol, appetizers, and the ubiquitous bread basket, of course) are about 2000 calories. When I go to a restaurant that doesn't have many tasty, healthy options, I order whatever seems to be the best choice and leave 1/2 on my plate.

nelie
05-13-2009, 12:22 PM
I feel the same way, if I'm forced to go to a restaurant, I may have a boring choice although generally I'm very happy with it. What I do get excited about is when I have a choice of restaurant to go to and have lots of good options and at that point I may splurge.

Although I think it has go do with what people find boring, I may enjoy. Other people's choices I may find appalling and disgusting. If you gave me a choice of eating a small portion of something I found disgusting versus something someone may find boring, I'd choose boring every time :)

DCHound
05-13-2009, 12:28 PM
There's no way I would go off plan for even one bite of one meal, but that's just me. I have had to have plain salad/water before in order to stay on-plan at a restaurant. If you can't find anything you can eat (be sure to eat something beforehand if you can) and anyone questions you and you don't think "big lunch" would fly, try "food allergies."

PinkyPie
05-13-2009, 12:29 PM
I would literally do one of two things:

I would go off plan a bit (depending on how strong I'm feeling) and make the best choices possible causing the least damage.

Or



I would not go and give a migraine or something like that as an excuse!


I just wouldn't want to put too much worry and negative energy into it. But that's me. :)

Thighs Be Gone
05-13-2009, 01:11 PM
Honestly, I have to admit that sounds a little depressing to me. Personally, I don't know how you do it... I could never (and probably wouldn't want to, even if I could manage it) eat just a small dry salad for dinner.

Oh, I forgot to mention the reason I left early was to go to a belly dancing restaurant w/my hubby and sis-in-law. There I ordered chicken kebab and tempeh (sp?). I also downed a shot of tequila w/a crystal light packet dumped in it. LOL--not bad for the calories I must say!

I eat yummy stuff all the time--daily in fact. But heavy cheesy pasta dishes topped with cream sauces aren't my thing. If I am going off plan it WILL be worth it.

In any case, I very much enjoyed attending the celebration. I focused on talking to everyone there rather than having my eyes and attentions fixated onto my plate--which has often been the case in the past.

ETA: Anytime I am eating I try to be mindful of:

How much I really want what I am considering AND How the last few days for me plan wise..can I eat this and still respect myself in the morning...LOL...anyway, kind of funny ..

There really ARE days lots of things don't sound that appetizing or look tempting..other days I feel like I could eat a loaf of bread and a stick of butter and still look for something else...it all works out if I am honest with myself

rocketbunny
05-13-2009, 01:24 PM
I get put in this situation occasionally. When restaurants say "no substitutions", that generally just means "no free substitutions". I'll tell the waitress exactly what I want and tell him/her to just charge me whatever it takes extra to get what I want. Usually it's not a problem. Most places these days understand accommodating special diets. I wouldn't stress too much.

Numina
05-13-2009, 02:05 PM
This is kind of a nasty situation.

On one hand, you don't want to undo all the hard work you have already put it. It would be one thing if you personally chose to eat off-plan, but this is being forced on you --- not fun. On the other hand, you don't want to offend the people who are kind enough to treat you to dinner or embarrass your husband. And it would be nice to be able to relax enough to enjoy the visit!

Could you call the restaurants with questions, like about paying for substitutions or if you can get XYZ on the side or half portions? Could you enlist your husband in some sleight of hand, so you (having eaten earlier) order something but a lot of it ends up on his plate or in his mouth instead of yours?

I think you are right to be planning ahead. If the worst happens and there is literally nothing appropriate on the menu, order what looks the best, eat a small portion of it slowly and just accept that sometimes you can't outwit every obstacle. Good luck!

MandiK
05-13-2009, 02:22 PM
If I were this stressed out about one meal, I just wouldn't go. Plain and simple, just skip it. They might think you are rude, but they are probably going to think you are rude if you go and don't eat very much of a meal that they paid for.

That being said, I was just in this situation last weekend. My grandfather brought us to a small town pizza place. The ONLY option is pizza. I ate the thin crust and kept my portions reasonable. I ate enought to be satisfied and then I stopped. I still lost weight last week. It's all about portion control. I just see these things as life. Life happens and you have to learn to adapt.

Ija
05-13-2009, 02:31 PM
Life happens and you have to learn to adapt.

I see we share the same food philosophy (and are still losing!) ;)

Me23
05-13-2009, 02:49 PM
Okay I know this isn't helpful but - that is so bad of those restaurants! What if someone was a diabetic/had IBS and couldn't eat a lot of fat/was wheat intolerant/etc?! I think its pretty outrageous to put 'no substitutions' on the menu. If I'm paying for a meal I think I have the right to ask them to do it to my taste, and I'm willing to pay a little extra if needed.
But to get back to the point - if you absolutely have to order something awful, I'd just eat a little bit and say it's lovely but you have an upset stomach. Hopefully people won't ask for more detail at the table :LOL:

kfs151
05-13-2009, 07:09 PM
I now eat much smaller portions than I used to and was initially paranoid that people would notice or comment or think I was weird. In truth the only people who notice are the wait staff because they're worried I didn't like it. When I tell them I'm done and they look shocked I just add "it was delicious but I'm full".

Go and enjoy the company. Depending on the restaurant do your best to make a food choice you'd like and I agree with the poster that said feel free to tell them what you want instead and that you'll pay for it. Maybe have DH primed to eat some of your food so you plate looks more touched. If the other family members notice, say you had a big lunch or too much rich food gives you indigestion. One thing I've learned is most people don't really care what you eat (or don't eat) as long as you're not unhappy.

Blackie
05-13-2009, 07:49 PM
Does you Mother in Law know you are dieting? Is she sympathetic? If so I would speak to her ahead of time and arrange it so you are sitting between her and your husband. That at least will help you keep what you do/don't eat from your plate somewhat private. I can only think of two additional suggestions. The first is to bring some low fat / low calorie salad dressing in a small container in your purse. Something you can discreetly dump on a salad if that is what you end up ordering. This might work if you are sitting between your husband and MIL. Finally, if you find out the restaurant early enough in the day I would stop by and speak discreetly with the manager on duty for lunch or show up for dinner earlier than everyone else and ask for the manager. Just say that you are on a very restrictive diet and want to make sure you don't embarrass your host/hostess for the evening. Ask their advice / help. I can't imagine that they wouldn't find a way to be helpful. Maybe arrange in advance that when you order only a salad the wait staff stays quiet and backs you up if anyone attempts to intervene. If there are really just 5 places in town, I guess you could go ahead and call now and ask to speak to the manager at each place. Just tell them that you are going to be there at some unknown point during the relevant week and ask what can they suggest for your situation, etc. My father has always told me that if you ask politely for help, very few people will outright refuse to be supportive. I have almost always found him to be correct!

Please report back after your trip. I think a lot of us will appreciate learning from your experience and how you end up dealing with it.

chickiegirl
05-13-2009, 08:25 PM
Well, if it's this important to you - and you have every right for it to be - there aren't that many options. Many people have already run through them, including backing out, going off plan, or paying for substitutions.

The only other things I could suggest is, if it really is this important, call the distant relatives and try and swing the arrangements your way. See if there is a restaurant you can compromise on. Or, get a separate bill for you and your DH, just say you are a picky eater, may not eat a lot and don't want them to pick up the tab. That way you can order what you want and nibble, or, if they insist on paying you've laid out you may not eat a lot.

Every option here is uncomfortable. The only thing that will probably make them happy is if you eat a big meal like everyone else. You have to think about what makes YOU happy and what you are willing to do to get that. Then pick an option and go with it.

It seems like so many of us are always trying to make accommodations for others when it comes to our eating and it's ridiculous. It's about being polite to them but pleasing you.

Good luck.

kiramira
05-13-2009, 08:29 PM
Hi there!
I know you want to keep on plan. I started at virtually the same stats as you, and am now pretty much where you are now. So I get the dilemma. And, the exact same thing happened to me when I went for a week to visit a friend, who was a saboteur and she and her DH changed restaurant locations so that I WOULDN'T have any choices (have you seen the Five Guys menu for burgers and fries??? Try that option for lunch for 7 consecutive days...and DON'T get me STARTED on dinner...).

So what I did was make the BEST choices that I possibly could given the circumstances. And the choices weren't by any means what I would have made in normal circumstances, but they were the very best that I could make. I made sure that I had control of my breakfasts and stuck to 1 egg plus 4 egg whites (scrambled eggs) and 1 piece of toast for breakfast. I also ate 1/2 to 3/4 of a meal. I ordered ONE appetizer instead of a main course. I had salad dressing on the side. And did the usual to minimize the damage.

But at the end of the day, I stopped worrying about the repercussions and accepted the situation, and chose to deal with the damage without any sort of judgement on my return. Sometimes, this is all you can do.

Kira

ps. I gained 3 lbs in the 8 days I was gone, got right back on track on my return, and lost 3.5 lbs the following week, so the overall impact on me and my diet has been absolutely negligible.

LookingForMeAgain
05-13-2009, 08:39 PM
The only other things I could suggest is, if it really is this important, call the distant relatives and try and swing the arrangements your way. See if there is a restaurant you can compromise on. Or, get a separate bill for you and your DH, just say you are a picky eater, may not eat a lot and don't want them to pick up the tab. That way you can order what you want and nibble, or, if they insist on paying you've laid out you may not eat a lot.

.




I would have to disagree with this advice. Do you really want to be the diva that called and asked them to change their plans to accomodate you when they barely know you? I seriously would not do that.

But then again I wouldnt be stressing so much over it. I dont doubt they atleast have a nice salad you could have. If you are counting calories your already ahead of a lot of plans that are much more restrictive. I vote relax, eat a low calorie but filling breakfast and lunch and go and enjoy your self at dinner. Noone is going to care what you eat besides you. Order things plain or suaces on the side....Im sure there will be options.
But Ive learned in life there is no need to stress over every little thing it just sucks the fun out of life. I admire you for wanting to plan ahead and stay on plan and encourage you to do so but dont stress it will work out.

chickiegirl
05-13-2009, 10:21 PM
I would have to disagree with this advice. Do you really want to be the diva that called and asked them to change their plans to accomodate you when they barely know you? I seriously would not do that.

I don't think trying to swing it your way - or at least into an option - is being a diva. It is an option, that's all I was saying.

A lot of us seem to do a lot of accommodating for others when it comes to our eating and all I'm saying is, if it's that important to you - that you absolutely do not want to go off plan - then you may have to do something tough to make that happen.

Couch
05-14-2009, 12:07 AM
I don't think it's being a diva at all. I mean, if you had allergies and were gluten intolerant people would understand. They just don't see dieting or even just eating healthily in the same light, when for many people, it has to be.

So, I guess I would try and come up with a medical reason not to eat whatever. I might cite fact that I get really bad heartburn, or pretend that I'm getting my cholesterol checked on the Monday.

And feel free to order a plate without stuff. The restaurant surely won't care if you say you don't want the fries or the bread, and if anyone says anything, just say you'll steal some from hubby as you don't need your full serve.

Good luck. It's ridiculous that there is nothing remotely healthy on the menu.

freshmanweightorbust
05-14-2009, 12:24 AM
I dunno, I've had my own grandmother be outrageously cruel to me about my weight (when I was a young teenager and she was repulsively obese, I might add), and then ten minutes later, accuse me of being wasteful and rude for objecting when my aunt loaded my plate for me at dinner, with easily six scrambled eggs smothered in cheese and half a pound of sausage patties. I'm happy for people whose families are supportive and willing to make considerations and small changes like that, but I have to say that my extended family was no help whatsoever in that department. I was made to feel "uppity" and ungrateful for trying to curtail my eating while in their presence. Oh, and EVERYTHING had gravy on it in that house, too, my grandmother made gravy out of fried bologna once. I only heard about that one, mercifully, I wasn't there to suffer through it.

I heartily agree with the idea to piece together a meal off the side dishes list if possible, and certainly ask for a takeout container to be brought with the meal.

sunflowergirl68
05-14-2009, 03:35 AM
You're not a weirdo at all, and frankly, I'm very disgusted that restaurants are offering dishes like that, and people wonder why us Americans are all so fat.

I don't want to hate on the Midwest or anything, but in California (where I am from and where I live), you'd *never* see that on menus. It's just depressing to me to see such unhealthy foods being offered, it's almost encouraging people to be obese and overweight.

My best bet would be to get a side dish, or to eat something before, or make an excuse like you can't handle dairy or anything fried because of a sour stomach.

This might sound disgusting, but my sister does this to handle portion control. After she's done eating but still has food left, and there isn't a server in sight, she dumps her water on the food to spoil it. Of course, people could see this as very rude and I don't suggest it. What I would suggest is to exercise portion control, get a lower calorie option like pizza and then when you're done either give it to someone else (like totally remove it from your presence) or signal the server ASAP and have it taken away.

Rosinante
05-14-2009, 03:43 AM
I would go for the simplest option: identify who among the 10 rellies is the main host, go to the restaurant and tell the host you're so pleased they've invited you and you're going to have a great time in their company but for health reasons you have to eat a very restricted menu, and Please, will they not be offended and think you're ungrateful but you will be eating small portions.
You don't have to specify the health reasons, just say your doctor has advised you.
You don't have to order and spoil food or lie.
You can reassure them from the start that you're not some snotty cow who's ungrateful for their offer of a treat but someone who's gone there ready to enjoy yourself within what your medical situation can allow you to eat.

ringmaster
05-14-2009, 04:50 AM
I admire your dedication to staying on plan! I'm more in the relax and enjoy yourself side.

Since I'm a quiet person, I wouldn't say anything unless someone comments or asks. I'll just hope noone would be rude enough to ask or just won't notice if I eat only half of something.

You said the one place's only non red meat option is a 12oz piece of chicken.. that's atleast 2 portions and I'm not sure if I could even eat that much protein, with pasta in a cream sauce in one sitting, so I don't think it would look unusual if you didn't eat the whole thing.

The other places say no substitutions, but I'm sure you can ask for the sauces on the side, ask them to go lightly on the sauces and dressings, or take something out and just say you are allergic. I'm sure if you say you are allergic they will make substitutions for you.

Restaurants and servers generally want the customer to be happy, so they get a good tip and so you keep coming back and spread a good word about their restaurant, I wouldn't stress over it too much. If worse comes to worse, just eat half.

thinpossible
05-14-2009, 08:12 AM
Normally I would get one and eat just a couple oz of it -- which would look like I ate nothing, whatever -- but this time it is a smaller group where we are being treated (we have kind of been 'tacked on' because we're in town). Very obvious, probably pretty rude.

First, I think you have to ask yourself if you want to go to this event. If you want to get to know these people and share in their celebration, then I would go. If not, don't.

I don't think it's rude to order something and only eat a bit of it. I don't think these people are going to be scrutinizing your plate, and if they've never spoken to you I would be shocked if they actually said something to you.

If none of these restaurants offer baked potatoes or side salads, (which I find shocking) I would just order something, eat a few bites and keep the conversation going. I would also try not to stress about it. You'll find a way to handle the situation.

barefootnikki
05-14-2009, 08:28 AM
I don't say, "it's only one meal," and anyway, it's not -- it's easily 4 dinner's worth to me.

I *do* understand not saying "it's only one meal". For once in my life i am at a place that i can say that and mean it but the rest of my ENTIRE life it would be the beginning of a slide that could last a year, literally.

You could always get something that's breaded and scrape off the breading, scatter that food around so it looks like you ate more than you did (a lesson learned from watching kids with some veggies... lol). Ultimately, what is most important is that you come to a decision YOU can live with. I do like the migraine claim someone suggested too.

WhitePicketFences
05-14-2009, 11:42 AM
Me23, you were helpful because that's what I'll do if all other options don't pan out!

Blackie, my mother-in-law is great but she's also kind of loud about stuff so I keep it quiet. She sent out an email fwd the other day about my sister-in-law's food likes and dislikes re: the gathering. I know my sister-in-law doesn't sanction these and I gotta say, reading it sent my husband and I rolling around with laughter.

I will post an update when we get back next week, though.

Barefootnikki, me too, with the previous slides ... that's exactly how it was for me. I tell myself that it wouldn't be the case anymore and I really believe it wouldn't happen (reading others' stories and mentally preparing for shrugging off the eventual mistake helps). But I know that's part of why I get anxious.

Thanks for the ideas and commiserating, you guys. I figure, there's still a significant chance that we end up at Outback, or an Italian place with pizza, and I can get some dish that's fine to eat half of, or some slice of pizza. If it's one of these weirder places, ah well, I will look to the sides and other ideas given here.

I am really looking forward to the trip overall; we are planning to spend some time in a nearby large city where we briefly lived. Visit all the old favorite places.

On another food note, I am actually really excited about going out for frozen custard while we're there, because there is this kind of famous place that we used to love. Daily plate said 1 serving (1/2 cup of custard) is 200 cals. The small/medium/large sizes are big but there is a mini/'kiddie' size that is only a little bit more than 2 servings, so while we are visiting we are going to go out for custard and I'm going to enjoy half of a kiddie size. Sounds funny when I write it, but hey, I didn't make the portion sizes and I'm excited about going out for frozen custard.

WhitePicketFences
05-21-2009, 08:49 AM
Update ...

It went so totally fine, I cannot even say.

First off, for the dinner I was thinking of, it was changed last minute to a different night and time, when 4 of us had already snagged a pizza to share when we were downtown catching up that evening (veggie, I had 1.5 pieces). We were encouraged to show up at the restaurant circa 10 p.m. anyway, for "coffee and dessert" -- to at least get to see everyone -- and happily did so. There was no coffee/dessert, but I ordered a 3oz glass of chardonnay to nurse and had a nice time socializing.

Secondly, this restaurant was one of the dire ones I'd looked up, one of the few restaurants in an area. I was saying I'd never seen a menu so ridiculous and panic-inducing .... that's because only about 1/5 of the huge menu was on their website -- the pasta dishes. It was an otherwise normal menu and in my short on-site look at it, I noticed that there appeared to be several things I could've gotten if plans hadn't changed and we had all eaten dinner there.

The trip was great, the 50th anniversary party -- reason we were going -- was wonderful and very moving, a once in a lifetime experience, truly. The rest of the food stuff was really a non-issue, which is not the case in my other familial/group experiences at all. I guess I was gearing up because with my family, food and what everyone's eating is such a bigger part of everything. Not to knock my family; the food is in fact better with them as they are thoughtful foodies, but it was just so incidental at these particular in-law events and the pressure I have had before was just not there.

I knew this was the case with my immediate in-laws, because I've been with my husband for 11 years now, but I didn't know it would be like this with all the aunts, cousins, etc. Nobody made a thing out of food and certainly nobody cared what I ate or didn't ate. My husband and I had a conversation on the trip home about this and he pointed out that however, there's no less obesity in his family. That's true. It's an interesting thing to analyze, but I am getting off topic ...

I had a great week for weight loss -- for some reason I was already down a lot from last monday's weigh-in even before we left on Friday. 4 lbs down now. Which will be a comfort for upcoming TOM, I suppose. Also, much like Christmas time, I was, in a way, better than usual on my calories/nutritional for this past Saturday and Sunday. I tend to be extra dutiful when I'm on alert for pitfalls? No cardio except for Monday, when we got a lot of touristy walking in, but I did bring my hand weights and did my sets in the hotel.

Oh, and all the female relatives who've seen me obese in recent years all made a point to say I looked great. It was the first thing my mother-in-law said, actually, that I lost a lot of weight, and everyone was very discreet and polite about it, pulling me aside to tell me how cute I looked. I really appreciated those compliments and frankly, I think I hadn't realized how much my looks had changed.

synger
05-21-2009, 09:00 AM
I'm SO glad it went well for you!! I know that so much of making food changes has to do with planning and knowing about options, but sometimes the planning itself can be paralyzing. And since this was a family thing, and a social thing, it had added pressures.

WhitePicketFences
05-21-2009, 09:09 AM
Oh, and coming back to add that we travelled with all our own stuff to cobble together breakfasts and lunches for the 5 days that we were away. Which was a lot of work in a way, but so worth it.

Before we left I hard-boiled eggs, shelled edamame, baggied ground flaxseed, packed paper plates, etc. We also had luna bars, apples, 100-cal ritz snack packs, yogurts, coffee, oranges, turkey and veggie sandwiches for dinner on the road ... very convenient and worth it later, because with bfast/lunch we were very busy on our trip and saved money/time.

nelie
05-21-2009, 10:18 AM
Glad you had such a good time :)

scarletmeshell
05-21-2009, 10:31 AM
Thank you so very much for posting how it went for you, was wondering how it went. I am so glad you had a good time. With all of that planning for your breakfasts and lunches, you probably saved money too. I am going on an over night trip this weekend and it is a great idea. Thanks again!
Scarlet:)