100 lb. Club - Thanks, but...




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matt_H
05-13-2009, 10:57 AM
My WW leader last week was talking about something that I do all of the time and now I see how wrong it is both to myself and to others. Specially, this is when someone makes a compliment on weight loss and you say "Thanks, but I still have XX pounds to lose" or "Thanks, but I am still really fat..".

Not only does it hurt the person who is trying to say something nice, but you aren't allowing yourself to be happy with what you have been doing and the choices that you've made.

So, if someone says something nice to you, say "Thanks". (with no buts!).


Kae
05-13-2009, 11:01 AM
:) This is a very nice point. ...I haven't had compliments from others yet but I've found myself saying it to others. "I've only lost "XX" so far... so I've got a long way to go... but it's a start." It's like you said.. it really does take away from the positive and all the hard work that has gotten you to where you are.

Thanks for sharing!

Rosinante
05-13-2009, 11:03 AM
Good point. We need to learn to be happy about what we Have achieved and not just worry about what we haven't yet - and to accept compliments graciously too.


irishsarah
05-13-2009, 11:18 AM
Very true. Now that you mention it, I always negate a compliment like that. I guess no one is harder on us, then ourselves.

ShutterK
05-13-2009, 11:25 AM
I never thought of it like that. Not like anybody's saying that to me yet, though!

kswood87
05-13-2009, 11:27 AM
Wow I was just doing this yesterday. A friend told me I was really starting to look good and I pretty much laughed at her and said yeah I still have a loooong way to go. I guess sometimes I just feel like people are just trying to be nice. Or maybe I don't want them to think that I am being conceited or something?!? Hmm...I seriously need to work on this.

JulieJ08
05-13-2009, 11:32 AM
That is so true. If you keep answering compliments with "but" people may start answering with "Oh. Bummer for you." :)

freshmanweightorbust
05-13-2009, 11:33 AM
I had this problem, too. I've been trying to train myself to say, "Thanks, I feel great, too!" when somebody tells me I'm looking good. I do lie and say that I don't know, when they want to know how much I've lost. I don't think it's quite exactly polite for people I'm not close with to ask me that. I know they don't mean to be rude, but I still prefer to airily dismiss it with "ooh, I don't even know, but I'm not worried about the numbers, I just want to feel better, you know?" and change the subject.

freshmanweightorbust
05-13-2009, 11:34 AM
Yet, for some reason, I have no problem posting it for all to see on the internet! :)

WhitePicketFences
05-13-2009, 11:36 AM
Ha, just over the weekend, when I was trying on a ton of clothes in various sizes -- and receiving a little snarkiness for it -- I ended up telling a shop saleslady that it's because I recently lost 70 lbs.

She very nicely responded, "Oh, you must feel great!" I said, "yeah, still have a lot to go ..." She was like, "I mean it must feel good, like on your joints." (Truthfully I never really thought about my joints much.)

I hastily, Oh, yes, of course'd her nicely and confirmed how good it felt ... though in walking back to the dressing room I realized how possibly rude/negative I was in our original exchange.

Delphi
05-13-2009, 11:42 AM
Well, I think that is exactly the outlook we should all take. I've always been the type of individual that simply can not take a compliment, but this may be a very good place to start. Thanks! :)

GirlyGirlSebas
05-13-2009, 11:44 AM
I agree. We should treasure our success. We earned it!

Nash
05-13-2009, 11:49 AM
Whoa! I just did this the other day. My Cousins wife asked me - "you have lost a considerable amount of weight haven't you!" I quickly responded - I have a lot left to lose.

You are right matt. Thanks!!!

shrinkingleah
05-13-2009, 11:56 AM
I've got to learn some grace. I really like hearing positive compliments, but if I think about it, maybe I'm not that positive in return. No more buts.

Slashnl
05-13-2009, 01:32 PM
It's funny that you mention this. I've had a couple of people at my gym say something about my dedication to being there every day (except Sunday). The first time, I said something lame like, "Uh thanks. But I have a lot of work yet to do." But I realized how stupid that sounded!!! When someone I know mentioned that I am doing so well and she was impressed, I said, "Thanks! I'm feeling really proud!"

Just about killed me to not put myself down, but it was an accurate response.

emmalee51
05-13-2009, 01:44 PM
Matt - only after reading your post have I realised how rude and unappreciative I have really been to my co-workers/family and even myself. So many people even though I've just started have told me how great I am looking and already they can see a difference in how my clothes fit.

Kudos to your WW leader for bringing this up - I'm sure a lot of people maybe stepping back now and thinking before they speak. Me especially!

Thighs Be Gone
05-13-2009, 01:45 PM
good point Matt!

JulieJ08
05-13-2009, 01:46 PM
Just about killed me to not put myself down, but it was an accurate response.

The best part is that impulse diminishes with neglect!

thistoo
05-13-2009, 06:08 PM
I just did this today, as a matter of fact. "Thanks." ::frustrated face:: "I still have 50 pounds to go." In my defense, the compliment was from a guy I sort of have a thing for, and talking about my weight with him is not exactly my favorite thing to do. He asks me for workout tips now, though, so that's something.

Leeesa
05-13-2009, 06:14 PM
OMG I do that ALL the time! I don't know why? It's like I want to minimize the actual accomplishment because I'm not done yet and I make sure everyone knows it, but I never thought about why I do that? Now that I think about it, it doesn't seem right...

Daimere
05-13-2009, 06:40 PM
I know my mom told me a long time ago to make sure I said thank you to every weight loss comment even when I've gained that week. :p

Couch
05-13-2009, 09:14 PM
Yeah, this doesn't come naturally to me ether.

My mum explained it to me well when I was in primary school though. She said that people give you compliments to make you be happy - so be happy! That way you are making them feel good about giving the compliment.

Slashnl
05-14-2009, 11:31 AM
Matt, thanks for your original post. I have been thinking about it so much lately and trying to be better with responses. Other people compliment because they see success. We just see how far we have to go.

Good topic.

Mikayla
05-14-2009, 02:17 PM
This is a great point, I too need to be more gracious when I get complements. I need to learn to say thank you and stop there.

TJFitnessDiva
05-14-2009, 02:22 PM
I do the same thing sadly and never thought about it too much....thank you for posting this. Hopefully I can break this bad habit :)

StarryNights110
05-14-2009, 06:47 PM
AAHH! I realized I do this too.

I guess it's because I'm trying to keep myself in line. Like so what if I lost some? It doesn't mean I can slack off.

I'll work on not doing this anymore. I can see it was putting the other person in an awkward place. :o

the final countdown
05-17-2009, 07:44 PM
That is good advice. I hope I remember that when all the compliments start coming in. Bring em on.