Weight Loss Support - How Normal People Eat




View Full Version : How Normal People Eat


JayEll
05-10-2009, 08:12 AM
My partner and I sometimes have Doritos in the house. My rule is, when the bag gets opened, it has to be divided up into 1-ounce servings in zipper bags. This is the only way I can deal with them!

Several days ago, my partner, who has never had a weight problem and who has weighed 130 at 5 ft. 5 in. forever, decided to have a serving of Doritos for lunch. But, she didn't want to eat all of them. So, she zipped the bag closed with the rest left over and left the bag by her placemat.

OK, it sat there for three days. Maybe four. Finally she finished them off with another lunch one day.

:dunno:

First of all, how can someone NOT eat all the Doritos in a 1 ounce serving?

Second, how can they not finish off the leftovers for days?

(I, of course, was quite aware of those Doritos every time I walked past the dining area. Doritos, Dorrreeeeetooooozzzz...)

I asked her about it, and she said she just didn't want all of them, so she left them until she did. Huh.

Often we talk about the thin friend who seems to be able to eat anything... But, has anyone else noticed that people who don't appear to have a weight problem eat differently than those who do?

Jay


rockinrobin
05-10-2009, 08:23 AM
Often we talk about the thin friend who seems to be able to eat anything... But, has anyone else noticed that people who don't appear to have a weight problem eat differently than those who do?

I've noticed this, for sure.

You often, all right maybe not SO often, hear of "thin" people who "eat whatever they want". The thing that most folks don't get, is that - THEY JUST DON'T WANT AS MUCH AS I DO/DID. And that right there is the difference. Their wants. Without a doubt they are wired differently then me.

Certain foods, for instance ice cream or home baked goods, when they're in my home (which is why they're NOT) - they just call my name. Leaving something half finished or sitting around for days on end - I still can't understand it.

But then again, there are some always been thin folks who consciously make the decision to leave things half eaten and the such. I'm not sure if their wants were ever as high as mine, but I do believe they are choosing to do without certain foods.

All I can say is G-d bless calorie counting. ;)

Meg
05-10-2009, 08:23 AM
Absolutely, Jay! I've been married to one for 30 years so get to see the differences first-hand between how our brains are wired regarding food, just like you do.

DH says he rarely gets hungry. He can skip meals without problem. He never, ever eats for any reason other than hunger. He gets full easily. I could make his favorite dessert in the world and he could take two bites, then push the plate away because he's full. He never eats more than one serving of anything, ever.

Not surprisingly, he's thin and weighs the same as when we got married.

I truly believe that a lot of the differences between us are biological. He was born with his brain wired one way and mine is different. I've overeaten food since I was a child, long before it could be ascribed to emotional eating. I've just always been HUNGRY and don't have an "off" switch.

Thankfully, he understands that his relationship with food and his weight are not the result of moral superiority or exemplary willpower. He knows how fortunate he is not to have the struggles that so many of us do while living in an obesogenic environment. And he totally supports me and understands my struggles, even though they're as alien to him as his attitude to food is to me.

It sure is an eye-opener, isn't it?


Tomato
05-10-2009, 09:19 AM
I've overeaten food since I was a child, long before it could be ascribed to emotional eating. I've just always been HUNGRY and don't have an "off" switch.


I could have said this myself, Meg (by the way, nice to see you! :wave:). This is one of the reasons why certains foods simply don't get brought into my house any more. Ice cream for example. I am not even that fond of that stuff but for some reason I just can't stop eating it (if I have any). I wish I had a loonie for 500 ml of Haagen Dazs that I ate until it was empty (that container is not that big in the first place, well not for me, that is). It is easier to control myself when things are going well but my carefully achieved balance got really wobbly when plantar fasciitis struck and I had to drop all sort of exercises and basically develop a new system. It took a while and during that time it was so easy to reach for forbidden food and eat. It was actually quite scary as a wake up call in the sense that I realized how easy my new lifestyle (that I thought had such a strong foundation by now) could be easily underminded. There was one particular weekend that I remember with no so fond memory - I bought a container of ice cream (the bigger one) - I think it is 1.5 or 1.6 litres - I started with a few scoops on Saturday, then my control went ouf of window and by Sunday night the whole thing was gone.
:rollpin::rollpin::rollpin:

I have inherited a lot of things from my father's side, a lot more than from my mom's. But my paternal grandfather (whom I adored as a kid) always had to fetched when meals were served because he wouldn't even notice it was noon and time to eat lunch. He was never hungry and always ate small portions just like Meg's DH. Why couldn't I inherit that?

Meg
05-10-2009, 09:32 AM
Hi Tomato! :wave: I'm sorry about your PF -- been there and know how much it hurts. It's certainly eye-opening when we realize that our eating issues are still with us, despite what we think are solid lifestyle changes. Mine are there, right under the surface, just waiting to pop out and humble me when I get cocky about how well I'm doing. It's made me realize that obesity is a condition I'll manage for the rest of my life, but never be cured of (very much like my son's diabetes).

EZMONEY
05-10-2009, 09:43 AM
Jay, the Doritos story reminds me of Angie :) That is exactly something she would do! She never falls for the "bet'cha can't eat just one" trick! :wizard:

But is that normal? Or just different? :dunno:

Is it normal because 1/2 an ounce serving is all she wants? :shrug: If it is then wouldn't 8 beers or the entire Doritos bag be normal for me because that is what :tantrum: I :tantrum: want!

My brother in law eats as much as I do and has never gained weight. I will say he doesn't drink beer but puts down twice as many Pepsi's a day than I do water, coffee and beer. Then again he smokes :smoking: Is he normal :shrug:

Now I generally pass on treats, always have...normal :shrug:

Then again I have been hooked on Cherry Garcia twice in my life...normal :shrug: Seriously, there was a time I craved it....haven't had it in years and have no desire to.....same with smoking :smoking:

No need to have a Klondike bar in the house either :no: Angie and I actually have 2 in the garage fridge that have been there since nephew took off for the NAVY last September...is that normal :shrug: Now :yes: yes...in my past "klondike bar" days :no: no.

There was a time in my life, as a single parent, that I had to tell my kids "make sure you tell daddy when you are hungry"...we were always so busy I would forget to get them lunch before late in the day...but then I wasn't hungry, much like FriedGreen's grandpa. Now I could eat 2 lunches :mad:

We all know I have never been normal :yes:

But then I don't intend to be :snooty:

HAVE A GREAT MOTHER'S DAY EVERYONE :hug:

BillBlueEyes
05-10-2009, 09:47 AM
For years I worked with a woman who would take out the large bag of potato chips from her desk, put a handful on a napkin next to her sandwich, and put the rest away. AAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH HH!!!!!!

It drove me crazy. How could she put the bag back?

She was always thin. Had never gained weight. Wasn't an issue in her life.

I agree with those that note that thin people don't eat anything they want, but they do want less than I've wanted when I was overeating.

rockinrobin
05-10-2009, 09:49 AM
I have certainly never been *normal*, food wise or any other wise. ;)

But I would venture to say, that Jay's partner and Meg's DH are most likely in the minority, not the majority. That they are not the "norm". :shrug:

I wouldn't be surprised to hear that they both "forget" to eat. "Oh look, it's 3:00 and I haven't even had breakfast yet." I have never, ever not once "forgotten" to eat.

Lori Bell
05-10-2009, 09:52 AM
My old boss was/is a skinny little thing, and for a long time she just baffled me. At lunch we would go into the cafeteria and she would have the "full Lunch special" That would be some sort of salad, meat, potatoes, veggie, roll/bread, and dessert. She would eat every bite, and always stay so slim an and petite. Me on the other hand, would always have the salad bar or something light and always be on a "diet"...and never the same size. I kind of resented it, it didn't seem fair.

Well...after time we became very good friends, and come to find out, she couldn't eat anything she wanted, but rather, that was ALL she ate! She is a self confessed NON-cook. The reason she ate such a big lunch was because that was all she ate all day. She hated to cook, to grocery shop, the mess. It was most convenient for her to just eat once...at work. TV dinners are her weekend fare. Funny how we are all so different.

rockinrobin
05-10-2009, 09:59 AM
My old boss was/is a skinny little thing, and for a long time she just baffled me. At lunch we would go into the cafeteria and she would have the "full Lunch special" That would be some sort of salad, meat, potatoes, veggie, roll/bread, and dessert. She would eat every bite, and always stay so slim an and petite. Me on the other hand, would always have the salad bar or something light and always be on a "diet"...and never the same size. I kind of resented it, it didn't seem fair.

Well...after time we became very good friends, and come to find out, she couldn't eat anything she wanted, but rather, that was ALL she ate! She is a self confessed NON-cook. The reason she ate such a big lunch was because that was all she ate all day. She hated to cook, to grocery shop, the mess. It was most convenient for her to just eat once...at work. TV dinners are her weekend fare. Funny how we are all so different.

Yes. I know of someone, quite thin, whose daily menu often consists of cookies, muffins, fried chicken and rice. 2 cookies is breakfast. 1 muffin is lunch. Dinner is a fried chicken drumstick and a couple of tablespoons of rice. Total calories - maybe 1300?

Jeannette311
05-10-2009, 10:02 AM
Normal people! *shakes fist*

I wonder if I'll ever eat like a normal person?

JayEll
05-10-2009, 10:27 AM
EZ and others, I am talking about people of normal weight, who have never had a problem with becoming overweight or obese. I'm referring to BMI charts, history, etc. I'm not talking about what constitutes "normal."

Besides, EZ, we know that your "normal" is kinda off the range... ;)

Jay

bargoo
05-10-2009, 10:32 AM
And then there are those that eat half a sandwich ...or half an apple, maybe a bite or two of pie. They are completely satisfied with this. I don't think I will ever reach this stage.

georgiad
05-10-2009, 10:37 AM
I live with 4 "normal" people, and I am the only one who struggles with food.
My flatmate bought a pack of six cupcakes about a week ago. Now I am on a real health kick at the moment (and I'm doing so well!) so was determined I would have one and I did. They all had one too, and so there was one chocolatey one left.
It sat for days and drove me crazy every time I went into the kitchen! Why does food call to me like that and not to others?
In the end, in a moment of weakness, I had it. I wish so much I could be more normal.

midwife
05-10-2009, 10:38 AM
I was at See's Candies last week with my 14 yo son. You know how they give samples? Well, they slid 2 samples over the counter to me and my son. I was fine to accept mine. 14 you DS said "No thank you." And the lady said, "Would you like such-and-such kind?"

"No thank you"
"How about a sucker?"
"No thank you"
"Is there any kind that you would like" the lady asked.
He shook his head. "Nah, I don't want any candy right now."
And of course I am thinking "Take the stinking candy and I'll eat it later!"

I'm not entirely sure I'm his real mother. He's just not into sweets. On his birthday, he passes on his own birthday cake. I think for weeks about what kind of cake I want for my birthday.

He has no weight problem. And if he keeps up his intuitive eating, I don't think he will. My parenting style is to not fuss too much about food. I just try to ensure a variety of mostly healthy stuff is available. My older kids dish their own plates. He doesn't choose potatoes or bread if they are the carb serrving. He will sometimes eat beans. So his plate contains the protein and the veggie. And beans if they are available.

I am very conscious of sweets & other junk. In fact I still am mindful of a half-eaten pecan pie that sat on our counter for a few days after Christmas before I threw it away. I doubt that pie lives on in anyone else's consciousness in my family.

As for Doritos, I sometimes pack them in the kids' lunches. More often than not, the bag comes back pretty full. Maybe they ate one, maybe none. Maybe this is my hint to just stop buying them, actually.

rockinrobin
05-10-2009, 10:59 AM
In the end, in a moment of weakness, I had it. I wish so much I could be more normal.

Again, I really think the *average* person would go on and eat it. So don't wish to be *normal*.

But I'll tell you this, that cupcake, I would have had to destroy it and throw it in the trash can. Apparently no one else wanted it and it would have been calling to me too. Better to put it in the trash can then to BE the trash can. So though I may never, ever be "that way", there are ways around it. It's going to have to suffice.

srmb60
05-10-2009, 11:15 AM
I think those that spoke about 'want' are onto something. I very seldom am hungry, that grumbling tummy hunger ... I just don't have it. But I want to eat. I hardly ever leave food behind. The last one left-over could be the death of me yet.

Thighs Be Gone
05-10-2009, 11:18 AM
My hubby is this way. A cake will literally go stale before he decides he will have another piece. He does eat huge quantities of other things at times but in general he just doesn't seem to think about food unless he is hungry.

jajabee
05-10-2009, 12:27 PM
Yeah, I think about this sometimes... and it's funny, cause I realized, in the last 5 months, my friends have pretty much only seen me eating burgers and fries, huge burritos, etc etc.... because whenever we go out with them it's usually a "special" meal that I've planned for, and worked in. But I'm sure it doesn't look that way, they probably assume that's just how I eat. They just don't see all the heathly, small-portioned choices I make the other 90% of the time. I wonder if someday I'll be "skinny", and people who didn't know me now will assume that I can "eat whatever I want and not gain weight". LOL.

Athendta
05-10-2009, 12:42 PM
I worked with this girl one time who was anorexic thin. Apparently she WASN'T anorexic though. I figured it out after a couple days, when we went to a corner store together to get snacks. She was getting a milkshake, because her boyfriend told her she needed to fatten up so his parents wouldn't be worried.

The milkshake had all melted before she had drank half of it. She just didn't seem that interested in tasty foods. If it were me, that milkshake would've been gone in 2 minutes flat, along with any of the other candies she bought but didn't finish. I can't have treats around, I WILL eat them, and usually in one sitting.

It's possible she really was anorexic but just very good at hiding it. But, I didn't see her as thinking she was fat, which most anorexics do. She seemed like she wanted to gain weight, but just wasn't interested in food that much.

Also, I used to be thin. I remember my first job at 17 in HS, at Burger King. Since I had always been thin, and growing, I could eat whatever I wanted and stay thin. So at work people saw me eating tons of fries and milkshakes and everything, and wondered how I stayed so thin. I always told them I didn't know, I must have a high metabolism.

Now of course, I realize I wasn't staying thin, I was slowly gaining weight but not realizing it (though it took me another 5 years to get overweight). So it might be a lot of these thin people who "eat whatever they want" are just thin for now, and will someday be as fat as the rest of us :D

Glory87
05-10-2009, 01:05 PM
I've posted about my mom before. She has always been slender, she's about 5'4" and she weighed about 120 lbs my entire life. She is one of those people that can forget to eat or she can grab 2 nuts out of her big Costco tub of nuts on the kitchen counter and just eat 2. And she's happy with 2 nuts! If I eat 2 nuts, I want a handful, followed by another handful.

She looooves food, and loves to eat (I can't name one thing she doesn't like - I like a lot of stuff, but I hate green peppers, mayo and passionfruit, mom, she likes everything). I've seen her put away huge portions of food, an entire plate of fajitas and fixin's for example. She puts butter on everything, puts mayo on veggies. Her house is FULL of tasty snacks (ice cream, chocolate covered almonds, graham crackers, truffles, the aforementioned huge container of nuts - just stuff I can think of from my last visit). She has all those snacks - but the package of truffles that was sitting on the counter when I visited in November, was still on the counter in April. She eats stuff if she feels like it.

When this subject came up a few months ago on the board, I asked my mom if she had ever watched her weight/counted calories/dieted and she said never.

But, when she packs her lunch, she puts just a few fritos in a bag. She does stuff like pack half a sandwich (like a peanut butter foldover). When she is stressed/anxious she doesn't eat. My stepfather died in November and my mom is down to 105 lbs - I sent her one of those huge Harry & David towers for Mother's Day. I told her to start eating a piece of peanut butter toast before bed, just to get some more calories in her.

She also eats really really slowly.

Since it's Mother's Day - I should take an extra minute to say my mom did a GREAT job with food when we were kids. No soda, very little junk, stuff like apples for in between meal snacks. She didn't buy junk cereal (I still love Wheat Chex!) and she put a healthy dinner on the table every night (meat, veggie, carb). We had very few afterdinner desserts. Although I did deviate from her example in my 20s and early 30s, I still had a good idea about the "concept" of what a healthy day should look like as a guide.

I'm really not sure where my issues with food came from - my lack of an "off" switch, my ability to eat when full, my "more more more" response to sugar/carbs. Not from my mom!

CountingDown
05-10-2009, 01:22 PM
I do think we are "wired" differently. I never had an "off" switch either. I do think it is biological. And, to make matters worse, those of us that have become obese, have further changed our bodies in a way that has permanently altered our biological responses.

That being said, I do believe that we can overcome some of the biological differences through many different avenues. Most of them have already been stated.
1. Control our environment - don't introduce it at all, or do so in a controlled size/manner
2. Practice discipline - set rules that govern our behavior, and thus help us to eat like those "other" (I won't say normal) folk
3. I do believe that, while we cannot change our biological makeup, we can tweak our biological responses through a two-pronged approach. a. We can employ cognitive thinking/spiritual methods (Beck, Weigh Down, mindful eating, following natural hunger cues, etc.) and b. we can employ physical methods (eating more often, balancing our eating, eat slowly, volumetrics, etc.)

I think what works is very individual. What works for me, won't necessarily work for you. I love the analogy that Meg gives -"we are laboratories of one".

I can honestly say, while I know that I will never eat like a thin person, I am coming much, much closer as I travel the maintenance road. As I discover what works and doesn't work for my body, I do - fairly often - find myself stopping after a few bites of something I would have scarfed down in the past. I do take a piece of a cookie or dessert and find that I am satisfied. I have left potato chips sitting on the plate after eating only a few - truly not wanting any more.

I'm a work in progress. I don't eat like a thin person consistently, but I do believe that I am continually changing for the better.

I think this is one of the most exciting things about maintenance - I'm not done with this journey. There are still avenues to explore, experiences to have, and exciting times ahead :D

kiramira
05-10-2009, 01:29 PM
My DH has never had a weight issue. In fact, he has maintained his 33" waist and 180lb-ish weight (+/- 5 lbs either way) on his 6-foot fram since he graduated from university some 22 years ago.

He just doesn't GET it -- he can eat half a piece of cake and just leave the rest on his plate. He's full. of. cake. 3 chips? No problem -- he just wanted a taste. "No thanks" to popcorn during a movie or Whoppers -- he's just not hungry for it.
Now I, on the other hand, have been blessed with a special dessert stomach. I could be absolutely stuffed, but if cake comes around, my body says
DEPLOY THE DESSERT STOMACH!
and there it is! Magical space for dessert! Or candy, or movie popcorn with butter (and as a special treat, throw in two boxes of MandMs into the popcorn -- salty, sweet, nutty -- does life get ANY better?).
He doesn't understand how I have a tough time NOT cleaning off my plate, whereas I don't understand how he can leave things there, just not eaten...

He's off for a 10km run now, because he wants to work off his winter 2lb weight gain.

I want to be normal, like him...

Kira

Daimere
05-10-2009, 01:50 PM
When I was living with my very skinny room mate, I decided that I could eat some of his spaghetti. He made me a plate and him a plate. The spaghetti was hardly filling the plate. Right there I realized why I was fat. I would have piled that plate so high.

Yet even my boyfriend has more of an off switch than I. He's not thin. He's like 250 with a beer belly but at all you can eats, he limits himself to two plates and a dessert whereas I can have up to three plates or more.

futuresurferchick
05-10-2009, 02:02 PM
As we speak, my roommate has a big beautiful open jar of chocolate eggs on her dresser in her bedroom. Last night I witnessed her pop a couple in her mouth and happily get on with her life. Guaranteed, she will eat that jar over the next few months, in moderation, and never think twice about it.

I would have eaten that whole jar on Easter Sunday!

TakingCharge
05-10-2009, 02:11 PM
I've been thinking about this a lot lately. It's nice to hear all of your thoughts! A lot of my girlfriends are really thin, and while some of them do just seem to eat whatever they want (which is less than what I want, like you all said), I've also noticed that a lot of them are very conscious about what they're eating. I used to think that they were all just naturally skinny and felt bad for myself because I'm not naturally skinny, but after starting this process to reach a healthy weight/lifestyle and talking to some of them, I've realized that a lot of them actually count calories and are very picky about what they put in their mouths! No wonder they're thin! So even though it may seem like they're happily eating chocolate and candy, they're very aware of how much chocolate they just ate and how much they'll eat for dinner to make up for that. Knowing that made me feel a little less sorry for myself! And how much cooler is it for us to be thin/healthy due to sheer willpower and commitment rather than a fast metabolism that will eventually slow down and catch up with us (even though we all dream about that from time to time)? :carrot: Happy mother's day to all of you mothers out there!

futuresurferchick
05-10-2009, 02:30 PM
I've realized that a lot of them actually count calories and are very picky about what they put in their mouths! No wonder they're thin!

I think in our discussions on 3FC we've identified a few different types of people who maintain a normal weight (besides the formerly obese and people who struggle with eating disorders). From what I can see, they are..

1. People that intuitively seem to want less food or have little interest in food, and can easily eat small quantities. Within this category we could even consider the subcategories of those that enjoy food and eat treats in small quantities, and those that really have no desire or interest in food other than for fuel.
2. So-called "naturally thin" people who eat a lot and/or eat a lot of high calorie foods and have high metabolisms that keep them at a normal weight despite their habits.
3. People who at first might appear to be "naturally thin" but actually make a conscious effort to manage their weight by choosing food carefully.

Some people might fall into a grey area between categories too, of course. For this thread, #1 most applies and this is the category of people that I find most fascinating, because like many of you, I just don't get it! How can they effortlessly maintain such portion control?? It's a mystery to me!

JulieJ08
05-10-2009, 02:34 PM
I'm learning to just leave what I don't want. It's surprisingly hard to do, even after you realize you don't really want it.

QuilterInVA
05-10-2009, 03:02 PM
Why does the food continue to call us - because we give in and fuel the craving. I've lost a lot of weight and against what most people say, I refused to give in to cravings. I now have no desire for desserts and other junk foods. Fast food makes me ill with all that grease. My big treat for today is a red pepper. I love them but they are expensive. Found them on sale today. Good luck.

ringmaster
05-10-2009, 06:11 PM
I don't know about it's all about how normal people eat... my ex boyfriend used to eat alot all the time. He could go through a bag of M&Ms a day, eat icecream (and go back for seconds), sometimes if I couldn't finish all my food at a restaurant he'd eat the rest for me... and he was 6'0 and weigh 145! Sure he was a stick, but he didn't gain weight eating all that junk food! I was gaining weight in that relationship trying to eat like he did... bad idea, haha.
I guess alot of men are lucky they don't gain weight like women do.

ringmaster
05-10-2009, 06:39 PM
I truly believe that a lot of the differences between us are biological. He was born with his brain wired one way and mine is different. I've overeaten food since I was a child, long before it could be ascribed to emotional eating. I've just always been HUNGRY and don't have an "off" switch.


I think that's what happens to must of us that have always had a weight problem. Probably didn't help me as a kid, I had no off switch, and my parents let me have what ever I wanted, and even often just gave me yummy foods as a way of showing love.

I wonder if the people able to control their portions without thinking had their portions controlled as a kid? Were they only allowed a small amount of chips or icecream and no seconds were allowed?

VermontMom
05-10-2009, 06:42 PM
This is so interesting how different people are.

I definitely 'feel' the hunger in my tum, when it's mealtime; and I 'think' the hunger also. However if I am super busy, and engaged in something, I don't get that 'thinking' hunger.

I am happy that I don't have a problem with alcohol (haha, one of those famous statements :devil:) I can have a couple sips or half a beer, and toss the rest out. And usually I'd choose a diet soda over alcohol. But I've never ever not finished a dessert or treat because I had 'had enough'.

rockinrobin
05-10-2009, 06:45 PM
I wonder if the people able to control their portions without thinking had their portions controlled as a kid? Were they only allowed a small amount of chips or icecream and no seconds were allowed?

I'm sure the answer to this would vary greatly and there's just not one definite answer. Because sometimes that kind of control backfires. People who were very restricted when younger, sometimes "let loose" when they're on their own.

VermontMom
05-10-2009, 06:54 PM
I'm sure the answer to this would vary greatly and there's just not one definite answer. Because sometimes that kind of control backfires. People who were very restricted when younger, sometimes "let loose" when they're on their own.

yup - my case! my mom was a great, thrifty and nutritious cook. We had controlled amounts of meat, veggie, starch, salads. The only desserts were occasional, and it was Jell-O, sometimes a pan of gingerbread. Soda was allowed 2 or 3 times a year! Same with potato chips, only at cookouts (at other people's houses) Apples or grapes were the treat in a bag lunch. I was one of those who let loose when on my own :(

CountingDown
05-10-2009, 06:55 PM
I'm sure the answer to this would vary greatly and there's just not one definite answer. Because sometimes that kind of control backfires. People who were very restricted when younger, sometimes "let loose" when they're on their own.

Oh, so true! Our "treats" were very controlled when we were children. Consequently, my brother snuck and hid cookies all over the house. We traded items at lunch, bought candy with extra money we earned - oh, yeah - that kind of control can backfire! And then there was freshman year at college :yikes:

Mikayla
05-10-2009, 09:41 PM
I have been paying close attention to how thin people eat. I pay particular attention to my SIL who is my height and 115lbs. She really does eat whatever she wants, chips, cookies,pop, steak, you name it. BUT she only seems to eat when she is hungry and she eats small portions because that's all she wants. My husband(her brother) is the same way, he eats when he's hungry, stops when he's full. He eats whatever he feels like eating sometimes that's salad, sometimes it's hoho's or cheeseballs. He forgets to eat all the time. UGH. I want to slug him.

rockinrobin
05-10-2009, 09:48 PM
UGH. I want to slug him.

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

I don't know, but you just "said" this so matter of factly, I burst out laughing when I read it.

It is kind of annoying, isn't it?

Well clearly lots of us here have food as our "issue". I guess there could be worse things. At least there are ways around it.

tarryn
05-10-2009, 10:49 PM
arrrr this is all SO relevant to me!!!

Just last night i was indulging in some chocolate..it was plain chocolate and there were about 12 peices. I decided to give my boyfriend 1/2 but as soon as hed eaten 2 pieces..he decided it was to sweet and he didnt WANT anymore!!!! So me being left with the rest of his..i just HAD to eat the rest..and i felt so guilty that he didnt want it i had to go eat it in secret!

Another example..is a woman at the desk next to mine. she is TINY! and always has a huge box of maltesers and m&ms and she sits there all day and will pull the box out and offer them around and pick a few out. She will then pull the biscuits out and eat one and put the packet back. Now when i reach for one...i eat until i feel SICK. Otherwise i dont feel satisfied? it is just sick. I can never touch chocolate without eating it until i feel sick..otherwise i dont feel its worth it?

I would rather eat NO chocolate than eat 2 pieces.

I would love to change this, i feel that i wouldnt be overweight if this was how i lived..if i was 'normal' but im not...and it sucks haha!

RealCdn
05-10-2009, 11:09 PM
I've overeaten food since I was a child, long before it could be ascribed to emotional eating. I've just always been HUNGRY and don't have an "off" switch.

That's me completely. I seriously eat because I'm hungry. I've struggled to a point where I can manage it (lots of veggies, protein, etc.) but I'm really always hungry.

My mother is truly one of those people most others hate. She eats about 1800 - 2000 cals a day, plus a couple of bags of candy and chocolate bars most weeks. She's 82 and 120-lbs, definitely shouldn't be maintaining on that. She does little regular exercise (uses a treadmill every now and then, and walks with me now 5 days a week for my benefit really), but she's a 'constant mover' which obviously burns up a lot of her calories. However, she can take months to finish a big bag of chips, taking only a handful once a week with her hamburger.

ringmaster
05-10-2009, 11:45 PM
this was discussed before... but some people have a hard time letting food go to waste, so we eat it. I know people who will eat stale cookies just because they don't want to throw them out... I usually eat things before they go bad. Can't help but notice here, alot of people struggle when it's the "last one left"...

I guess normal eater don't care if they throw out some food? after awhile, they'll throw out the last cupcake, last few cookies and not feel bad or anything. I guess it goes back to how we treat and think of food.

Jacquie668
05-11-2009, 07:33 AM
For me, it is the emotional eating and bad food choices. I also physically do gain weight quite easily. I always have and one could say, now that I know more about my body, that what I thought was weight was my body just not handling the food well. So, in addition to the poundage I have water retaining, bloating etc.

I do have an off switch, just when I'm emotional I ignore it. My usual downfall is dinner and I realize now that this struggle is a product of years of habit. When you're young and in school you quickly grab a breakfast, maybe, and then you eat a crappy little lunch, usually not healthy or at least it wasn't when I was in school (nachos and giant cinnamon rolls). Then you eat a larger more filling dinner, giant plates of pasta and bread type thing. That is how it was with me, so trying to break that is proving difficult as I am better off eating mini meals throughout the day. No large meals.

Normally I eat when I'm hungry and usually my meals during the day are quite small. It doesn't take much to satisfy me. I'm also not a person who snacks. I hate snacks. I'm the person who would eat a handful of chips or popcorn and save the rest for another day. I also am the person who can eat a bite of chocolate and save it for months. I'm just that way with certain foods and foods like chips and what not I consider snacks even when they are apart of a meal. Just my way of thinking I suppose. I'm the same way with drinks, milkshake type treats. Though now I don't do the dairy, so I'm limited. I used to get something at Starbucks, some sort of sugary, coffee, icy milkshake type thing and drink an inch of the small size. My boyfriend, on the other hand, would drink his grande one and mine usually. He doesn't have an off switch, he is always hungry, and have a weight problem too. He can't stop when he starts basically.

I've known many people who are in shape eat and eat. For example, I can think of three individuals in my life who are fit and they eat 3 times as more when we are at family visits than I do. I mean I know a family member who literally ate HALF of a large raw food tart I made because he loved it so much. I had a tiny piece and was satisfied lol. However, I think normally they eat small meals and only eat when they are hungry like others have mentioned.

JayEll
05-11-2009, 07:37 AM
My normal-weight partner will buy a package of 4 small muffins. She will sometimes eat 1/2 muffin at a time because that's all she wants. They do sometimes get stale, at which point she tosses them out.

She does the same thing with restaurant leftovers. Sure, she'll bring them home, but if she doesn't eat them in a day or two, out they go.

It was a wonderful, freeing day when I realized I did not have to eat food just because it was there--with some idea of "not wasting" it. It's not as though by eating it I am saving anyone else from being hungry--I'm just adding to my fat.

One strategy that works for me is simply to consider her food off limits. They are not my muffins, my leftovers, etc.

Jay

WhitePicketFences
05-11-2009, 10:48 AM
I feel familar with the eating habits of my thin friends and relatives, but this thread made me remember the 5 months I spent living in a youth hostel in London, England when I was 21. My now-husband and I ate notably bigger portions than the other international students with whom we shared a kitchen. Now all of us, whether from Germany or Angora, ate cheap, quickly prepared meals. Typical dinners, whether together or prepared separately, included pasta with pesto, soups, sandwiches, and various curry dishes.

But several housemates expressed their surprise at our portion sizes. Also I remember that at different times my Italian, female housemate and one of my Thai, female housemates both exclaimed over me, saying that I ate so much and yet I wasn't fat! They just flat-out told me they thought this was amazing. (In fact, I would be only a few years later, but at the time I was happy, we were walking literally hours a day, etc.)

I think of how we were eating our pasta with pesto in oversized bowls or on regular dinner flatware. Whereas our housemates would spoon some into a low cereal-type bowl that wouldn't hold more than 1/4 of a lb of pasta, and they'd only fill it up halfway. If they used a plate, the food would only go in the very middle.

Husband and I at the time thought we ate normal-sized dinners. No, my parents didn't eat one-bowl dishes of pasta like we were doing, they ate it as a portion with other things on a plate -- but I suppose the husband and I had gotten used to the way we ate in college and at restaurants. And like I said, the housemates ate the same type of foods we did, not well-rounded stuff. Anyway, we thought the housemates were the odd ones because their dinners looked like our lunches -- but you know, I've been thinking about that ever since I started reading this thread ...

I/we should channel such things to maintain a different outlook toward dinner. It is just another meal.

Is food supposed to fill a plate? Probably not. Food should probably be in the middle of a plate, or in a low bowl, etc. And once in awhile a soup or sandwich for dinner is good. I do it every Monday now, a non-dinnery dinner traditional that we adopted from my grandparents. I think it is actually somewhat liberating to change one's mindset about a meal like dinner.

Other posters have used the taking a little of sweets as an example. On one hand, I can (and currently do) keep my favorite dark chocolate candy bar in a ziploc baggie in a kitchen drawer for weeks or even longer, having one square (1/4 serving) once or twice a week, or less frequently. Throughout most of college, I had one square daily. Just one.

This kind of thing I honestly do not find tempting, do not think about at other times.

But if it were unwrapped, and out ...? I would eye it with consideration at many times, I'm sure. I'd want it. I would not like open, easily pop-able candies or nuts, etc out in the open near me. So 'put away' -- not particularly tempting. In the open ... tempting. So I'm not sure whether my mindset is normal or obese. Maybe in the middle.

thinpossible
05-11-2009, 11:36 AM
Now I, on the other hand, have been blessed with a special dessert stomach. I could be absolutely stuffed, but if cake comes around, my body says
DEPLOY THE DESSERT STOMACH!:rofl: I have one of those too

I'm learning to just leave what I don't want. It's surprisingly hard to do, even after you realize you don't really want it.

This is the key for me. I definitely have a hunger switch and a full switch. If I ate just when I was hungry, and ate what I wanted I would probably be a normal weight. For me eating has very little to do with wanting or hunger. I've recently realized most of the foods I think of as treats I don't even really like. I just eat them because I feel compelled to eat them. If they're around, they call to me even though I don't really "want" them. I think it's because of the way I was raised. My mom was always either on a diet or really, really off a diet. So I learned that junk was high value and very desirable. I'm sure it's also just the way my brain is wired too.

I'm really working on desensitizing myself to food. I know I'll probably never be able to be around junk without it calling my name, but I do feel like I can lessen my compulsion, and remove a lot of the power around food.

squeak351
05-11-2009, 01:18 PM
I have thought about this a lot lately. I have a skinny friend who is always eating chocolate, candy, cakes, crackers, chips, etc. etc. She never passes up anything at work or when we go out. Last weekend we went to a conference together and were together 2 nights and 2 days. I watched her and thought OMG this is how they do it. She would eat a very light breakfast. Normal lunch, snacks if they were available and then very, very light supper. She would take two bites off something then throw it away and exclaim how full she was. HAH! I wanted to beat her with my water bottle. lol

My daughter on the other hand is also very skinny. She's in the 5th grade and only weighs 60 lbs. She does the same thing. She eats what she wants but if she's not hungry she won't eat. She frequently has chips, cakes, candy, etc and it goes stale because she doesn't eat it. At Easter & Halloween I always end up giving her candy away because she doesn't eat it. There can be candy bars and sweets and she says she doesn't want it. If she does get a candy bar she will take about 1/4 then hand the rest to me. I used to eat it, but now I just give to my husband or I toss it in the trash.

JulieJ08
05-11-2009, 01:39 PM
It's kinda fun watching babies and toddlers before they get very old. Even with sweets, if they're full, they will refuse any more. I was watching my 1 year old and 3 year old nieces yesterday both do that.

Jo Kittibuck
05-11-2009, 02:11 PM
My mother's like this. She's a cooking fiend, loves to push the food on you. But at dinner time, she eats by "tasting" her cooking. And then she's full. Meanwhile she keeps urging you to have seconds, then sends a doggie bag home with you. Thankfully she's supportive of my diet, and cooked fish and veggies this Sunday, and made sure to give me only a small plate's worth. She was a bit put out I wouldn't take the rest of the fish home though. It was sea bass, my favorite; it would've been gone by bedtime.

Me, it's been over a decade since I could actually recognize "hunger". I got to this weight by scarfing down tons of junk, but there were also days I'd forget to eat at all. Never noticed any symptoms. Now on this diet, I struggle to avoid the restaurants and candy aisle, but I also have to keep a log of when I last ate, and eat every three hours on the dot, or I'd starve.

Bumbleberry
05-11-2009, 02:45 PM
I could eat all morning, all day and all night.

If I'm served 1 cup of ice cream, that's what I'll eat but if I am served 5 cups I'll eat all of that, too! I don't just "put things away". Last night we went out to dinner and I had the waitress wrap up half my meal so that I would not eat the entire, large serving. I would not be able to keep it in front of me and NOT eat it.

Bumbleberry
05-11-2009, 02:50 PM
I would rather eat NO chocolate than eat 2 pieces.


Wow, lightbulb moment for me!

I'm the same way! I'd rather have none at all than stick to just two pieces. It would drive me insane and I'd have to find something else to binge on before I went mad.

Dianeofnka
05-11-2009, 03:00 PM
I'm having a hard time with this topic not so much for me, but with my kids. At dinner time I watch what they put on their plate and I watch how much of it they eat. I have to stop myself from commenting on what they eat or how much (and my husband is quick to give me the "Don't you dare say anything" glance). I always want to say, "Finish that!" or "You've got to eat something!" What bugs me is that it's not my voice, it's my mother's voice. I heard all about the starving children in India/China/Appalachia, and I had to eat accordingly.

My kids are slender, not skinny. They're going to be tall like their dad and they have lots of energy. I know they're not wasting away. I know that when they're hungry, they ask me for food or immediately go to the bananas to help themselves (because they know I'm just going to tell them to get a banana anyhow). Yes, they always have room available for dessert, but they don't always finish it.

I don't want to give them the same complexes I have, although I know from psychology that's probably unavoidable. :D But man, is it hard to see them only eat a little bit (or graze throughout the day) and worry about whether they're getting enough nutrients.

nelie
05-11-2009, 03:03 PM
I'm similar with the none rather than some for a lot of things. A lot of things I refuse to keep in the house because I know if I allow myself a few, I might as well allow myself a lot.

I'm testing it out this week with tortillas. I went to a latino market the other day and wanted to buy a few corn tortillas. Well I forgot that corn tortillas generally come in large stacks. So I separated out the large stack of corn tortillas into 3 freezer bags and one bag in the fridge. I plan to have 2 corn tortillas per day. If it doesn't work, then the tortillas will go to someone else (or trash) and I'll not buy them any more.

Chocolate (dark) actually isn't a problem. I can keep it in the house and just have a single piece and be happy.

Glory87
05-11-2009, 04:25 PM
I could eat all morning, all day and all night.

If I'm served 1 cup of ice cream, that's what I'll eat but if I am served 5 cups I'll eat all of that, too! I

I tell ya, the book Mindless Eating (http://www.amazon.com/Mindless-Eating-More-Than-Think/dp/0553384481/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1242069830&sr=8-1) was one revelation after another for me. When am I done eating? When my plate is empty. So...I put on my plate what I want to eat. It's been a little change, and I didn't have to wrestle a bear to change ME, I just had to make a little change based on my behavior (accepting myself as I am). Huge huge huge "little change" that has had a huge impact on my weight loss/maintenance.

Bumbleberry
05-11-2009, 04:33 PM
Thank you for the suggestion. That is a good price and I may order it from Amazon if Chapters does not have it. This is the kind of book I really need.

horsey
05-11-2009, 04:38 PM
Don't forget the library, I want to go get this book too. Aren't glory's pictures inspiring, whatever she did I'll go do!

Shannon in ATL
05-11-2009, 05:12 PM
When am I done eating? When my plate is empty. So...I put on my plate what I want to eat.

I do the same thing. I am not typically a go back for seconds person - if it isn't on the plate the first time around I'm not very likely to eat it.

nelie
05-11-2009, 05:17 PM
The one reason I switched to salad plates was to help control dinner portions but for other things it doesn't work for me. For other things, I will go back, again and again. So those are the things I can't keep at home :)

munchievictim
05-11-2009, 06:06 PM
I definitely lost my 'off' switch somewhere. I have spent night sitting in my kitchen eating until everything was gone, but I'd never get too full. A month or so ago, after falling off the weight-loss wagon big time, I ate so much I threw some of it back up, and was in pain for the rest of the night. That night I decided I had to climb back on the horse.
But that doesn't make it any easier to say no to the senseless cravings. I'll eat any carb you put in front of me, and as much as you'll give me. I've often wondered about the off switch, how much I would pay someone to find it and flip it. It seems like that would solve all my problems.

CountingDown
05-11-2009, 07:27 PM
Another vote for Mindless Eating. It is an excellent book with lots of things that you know already, but they are great reminders!

Mindful eating is a real key for me. Giving up eating lunch at my desk while multi-tasking was a "duh" moment for me. The whole concept that we can easily mindlessly eat enough calories to gain 10-20 lbs. a year was an eye opener!