General chatter - Um, first time TOM stories?




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willow650
05-05-2009, 07:17 PM
My daughter is 12, will be 13 soon so her first TOM could be any day, most of her friends already have theirs and it seems to happen at the most inopportune times. Like 1 friend today, got hers in the middle of class, all over her desk seat, another friend was right in the middle of a school competition. Needless to say my daughter is terrified..lol I would be to. I was lucky in the fact I started at home, just woke up with it one morning. My daughter has little to no body fat so I am thinking hers may be delayed some. So is it pretty common to have a nightmare of a first time? Not that anyone of them are a joy.


Thighs Be Gone
05-05-2009, 07:22 PM
Oh, no. Believe it or not I heard two 3rd grade moms saying that a couple of the girls in 3rd grade had already started! OMG!

I remember the prettiest girl in the 6th grade going to the chalkboard one day and having it all over the seat of her pants. Bless her sweet heart.

What age do you have the talk? I was thinking 4th grade was a good time but now with the moms telling me that isn't early enough--well, just WOW. I don't know!

BonnieMcC
05-05-2009, 07:26 PM
mine was embarrassing because I started while on a camping trip with a bunch of extended family. I waited almost all day before telling mom. I whispered to her while sitting around the campfire that "I started"... loudly she replied "STARTED WHAT?" I was so embarassed and didn't really talk about that kind of stuff before...I told her again that I started and she caught on...then told all the family members around the fire. My grandma made jokes and offered some pads that were back at her house because she didn't need them anymore...said she had them in the cabinet for years. I just wanted to die. Some of my older boy cousins didn't want to play with me the next day because they said I was stinky. I will never forget that day.
I only remember a couple of bad situations in Jr. High, but didn't seem common.


BonnieMcC
05-05-2009, 07:29 PM
[QUOTE=Thighs Be Gone;2729232]Oh, no. Believe it or not I heard two 3rd grade moms saying that a couple of the girls in 3rd grade had already started! OMG!

QUOTE]

I volunteer at my sons school and I used the girls bathroom between 2nd and 3rd grade classrooms (its actually in the second grade hallway) and it had the machine for pads in there. I was thinking these girls look wayyyy to young!!!

Newshinyme
05-05-2009, 07:33 PM
I don't think so...... From what I remember growing up, I never saw any mishaps with any of the other girls at school. Mine was really light when I started and if I remember correctly happened on the weekend. I might have had a bit of a "leak" but nothing major I think.

From what I recall my psychologist mom saying, kids will absorb anxiety from you, so if you stay calm and collected when talking about all these matters with your daughter, she will probably feel more calm about it as well.

Thighs: I remember reading that these days girls are getting their TOM's earlier and earlier. One theory was that because kids are better fed now, their bodies go into puberty earlier. Another more scary one stated that because of all of the hormones in our foods, the changes were happening earlier.

tlp06289
05-05-2009, 07:42 PM
Oh my gosh, I was like 13, and I was a cheerleader. We had little undies under our uniform that were bright yellow, called "lollies"..so I was a flyer, and I was doing a jump, flying all high and I went into a toe touch and I just heard the people in the stands start giggling and snickering..so at the end of the cheer, my friend marcia goes "oh my god theresa, you just got your period"..i ran to the bathroom and my lollies were bright red. It was the most humiliating thing, oh my gosh. My mom was so sweet and took me out for ice cream and watched all kinds of girly movies with me because I couldnt stop crying...i like to think it was a nightmare lol

Genki
05-05-2009, 07:57 PM
I feel so sorry for girls that have bad experiences - I know how those memories can haunt you forever.
I got lucky, mine started in the morning before school one day (they STILL always start in the morning). My mom helped me with pads and such. I was very happy and excited about it. The sweetest thing ever was that evening my dad gave me a rose and this speech about me becoming a woman and such. We were both a little embarrassed, but I'm the first girl, so I guess he was all nostalgic or something. I'll never forget it.

kaplods
05-05-2009, 08:00 PM
In 4th grade (so I was 9 or 10) a couple weeks before "the girl's film," on the topic, I brought home the permission slip. So that night my mom explained menstration to me (she asked me if I knew what a period was, and I looked at her like she was insane, and said "yeah, it's a punctuation mark, at the end of a sentence").

Talk about good timing, before I started my period only a few days before the film (only about a week since my mom explained it to me). My very first period was very heavy (and every after that, and I was on a clock-work regular 25 day cycle with a 7 - 9 day heavy period, with severe cramping). I had gone to the bathroom, and had had a very bad stomache ache (turns out menstrual cramps), and there wasn't just a little blood, my underwear and pants were saturated. Even knowing what was going on, I panicked a bit. I called my mom at home and explained what was going on, I even remember what I was wearing. Being the 70's, I had pant suit, that looked like denim, but was a light cotten. The pants were bellbottoms, and the top was actually long enough to wear as a dress without the pants, and I often did wear the dress alone, so when my Mom asked if I needed a change of clothes, I said no, I only needed underwear and "supplies." She brought them to school, and helped me change and clean up, and she took my pants and undies home (I remember being so glad that she brought the undies and pads in a paper bag and took my stuff home the same way). Kids asked my why I wasn't wearing my pants, and I said that I had gotten too warm. Some boy teased me that I probably must have "wet" my pants, and instead of being embarassed, I was just grateful they hadn't guessed the "real" reason.

During the film (which not only could the boys not watch, the teachers had completely covered the windows which faced the playground where the boys were having recess, so they couldn't "peek" which was really weird, because they rarely completely closed the blinds even for other films. I was really happy the room was very dark, because I was blushing during the film afraid that the other girls would "guess" that I was having my period.

I remember at a slumber party probably two years later, none of my friends had started, and the topic of who had already had their first period came up, and I admitted that I had - and NONE of my friends believed me.

saef
05-05-2009, 08:01 PM
I was just reading about a woman who solicited stories from people about their first periods & made them into a book.

It's called "My Little Red Book" & it's on my list of books to order & read at some point.

She has a Web site for it:
http://www.mylittleredbook.net/

jules1216
05-05-2009, 08:20 PM
I started the summer before 6th grade--woke up to the mess and double me over cramps--had the cramps until I had my first child at 19.

My daughter got her first period the day she turned 13 in June--then didn't get it again until the following October in school--embarrassed due to the mess--never had cramps....

Darby1
05-05-2009, 09:52 PM
I was nearly 14; I woke up one Saturday morning during summer vacation and it had started. I had a horseback riding lesson later so I didn't tell my mom because I was afraid she wouldn't let me go. I put a washcloth in my underwear and went riding. Later on that day I told my mom and she was so excited for me. She went out and bought me flowers and made me a cake. All in all it was not a bad experience. I do wish I'd get flowers and cake every month, though ;)!

willow650
05-05-2009, 09:58 PM
What age do you have the talk? I was thinking 4th grade was a good time but now with the moms telling me that isn't early enough--well, just WOW. I don't know!

I had to talk to my oldest, WAY early because of some things she had heard on a school bus and was repeating so I don't know what the appropriate age is.

RN BSN 2009
05-05-2009, 10:15 PM
I started towards the end of the first grade.

Buttercup
05-06-2009, 12:14 AM
My daughter started at age 11 but we had the talk the year before because one of her friends was 10 and had hers. My daughter cried at first and I hugged her and made a big deal over her and then said
"Hey, now you can shave your legs"! The tears were gone and never a problem since! Just keep communication open. Be relaxed and she will be relaxed. I always made sure she had items with her. I was not so lucky. I was 11 and terrified, with awful cramps, and that nasty belt...yech! Oh well, I am past menopause now so tis all a memory!!!

lizziep
05-06-2009, 03:03 AM
mine was during summer vacation - whew! it was actually a couple days before my 11th birthday and i just remember freaking out and crying because it shouldn't happen so soon. i don't know why i was surprised, i'd already been wearing a bra since i was 9.

i do remember having one of those nightmare start your period at school and bleed everywhere times. wearing a skirt too. lucky for me, most of the kids were on a field trip that i couldn't go to- so almost nobody was at school and no one noticed.

shelbysmom
05-06-2009, 09:35 AM
I started when I was 11 on Christamas vacation...I was staying with my big sis(she is old enough to be my mom,lol) and we had ate like a boatload of buckeyes,you know pb balls dipped in chocolate....and i actually thought that was what was wrong with me,my mom always talking about eating foods that went straight through you....well that's what I thought,my mom hadn't had "the talk" with me so when it did happen,I had no clue what was going on or happenning to me,until mom did the laundry the next week and realized I had started....and that was just a couple pair of undies...I had thrown all the others away...and she wasn't like "Awe you started!!" she was more like Cruella Deville....wondering why I didn't tell her.....mad cause I messed up my drawers....all that kinda stuff....I metioned that to my sister the other day....and she couldn't believe it after all these years I never told her...so with my DD,she is 10 so she knows about it and I talk to her about it alot...I just don't want her to go through what I went through,and I have a feeling it'll be soon....though my MIL thinks she'll take after her and not start till she's 14,which would be nice,she would be older and more mature and probably more able to "deal" so we'll see I guess all I know is I kinda dread it...

MindiV
05-06-2009, 09:49 AM
I started for the first time in the fourth grade, during the middle of lunch. I didn't feel well, got a teacher, got permission and went to the restroom. I SO started crying right there in the bathroom! They'd given us "the talk" so I went to the nurse, she went to the teacher and we called my mom....

Glory87
05-06-2009, 11:40 AM
My first time was pretty anti-climactic - nothing scary!

I was 13. I woke up on a school day and I thought I was sick. My tummy hurt and I just didn't feel right. I told my mom I was sick and she said I could stay home from school. I went into the bathroom and wow - blood! My mom hadn't left for work yet, so we got to have a little mom/daughter bonding moment. Mom had bought a box of pads sometime previously and stuck them under the sink just in case I started (she had a hysterectomy and didn't need supplies anymore), so everything was handy.

I still got to stay home from school :)

willow650
05-06-2009, 11:44 AM
My daughter started at age 11 but we had the talk the year before because one of her friends was 10 and had hers. My daughter cried at first and I hugged her and made a big deal over her and then said
"Hey, now you can shave your legs"! The tears were gone and never a problem since! Just keep communication open. Be relaxed and she will be relaxed. I always made sure she had items with her. I was not so lucky. I was 11 and terrified, with awful cramps, and that nasty belt...yech! Oh well, I am past menopause now so tis all a memory!!!

LOL I already let my daughter use NAIR on her legs, she was quite hairy. No arm pit hair yet though.

I explained to her what a period was when she came to me with her female hamster, all upset "MOMMY, MY HAMSTER IS BLEEDING!!!!!!"...LOL

Glory87
05-06-2009, 11:44 AM
I was just reading about a woman who solicited stories from people about their first periods & made them into a book.

It's called "My Little Red Book" & it's on my list of books to order & read at some point.

She has a Web site for it:
http://www.mylittleredbook.net/

I have it on hold at the library!

painted lady
05-06-2009, 11:36 PM
wow, i got mine really late (which i already knew). it was about two weeks before my 16th birthday... i was in algebra class and we were having a review for our final. all of a sudden, i felt this ickiness, so i went to the bathroom. when i came back to the classroom, i wrote my friend, who was year older than me, a note saying, "i just got my period." she wrote a note back saying, "so?" i looked at her and mouthed "first one." she didn't believe me!

when my mom picked me up from school, i told her, and she got all teary-eyed. she didn't get her first period until she was a freshman in college! we went to the pharmacy and got some "girl supplies" and ice cream. ice cream should be required for first periods.

we had "the movie" in fourth grade, i think. i remember that our version featured a girl who liked to wear ugly hats (this was 1994), and wore a gross black dress to her birthday party. she looked like she was at a funeral, but she was really happy because she got her period! so she was a woman! *barf*

lizziep
05-07-2009, 03:01 AM
i really like the idea of moms choosing to make it a positive experience for their daughters- a cake, some ice cream, whatever. i know not all daughters would appreciate it - or at least appear to appreciate it- but i think it's good to put it into a positive light instead of a negative one.

i have a friend who is in her late 20's and never told her mom she got her first period. she said she just couldn't talk about things like that and snuck her supplies and hid them. i asked her if she thinks her mom figured out that she's had one by now and she laughed and said she hoped not. lol.

Betony
05-07-2009, 10:06 AM
I got mine at 9 years old, summertime -- I was riding my bike, and realized there was blood when I went home. My family didn't make a big deal about it, just showed me how to use pads. I remember my grandma thinking tampons were inappropriate though! lol

Rowenna
05-07-2009, 10:20 AM
i really like the idea of moms choosing to make it a positive experience for their daughters- a cake, some ice cream, whatever. i know not all daughters would appreciate it - or at least appear to appreciate it- but i think it's good to put it into a positive light instead of a negative one.

i have a friend who is in her late 20's and never told her mom she got her first period. she said she just couldn't talk about things like that and snuck her supplies and hid them. i asked her if she thinks her mom figured out that she's had one by now and she laughed and said she hoped not. lol.

I am 20 and I have never talked to my mom about periods. Or anything girl-related at all. She never gave me any kind of talk, and I was not very close with her, so I was very uncomfortable talking to her about these things. Even in middle school, I would ride my bike to the grocery store and buy my own shaving supplies (I taught my younger sister to shave too) and when I got my period, I just started buying my own stuff. My mom never mentioned it to me. I'm sure she knows that I've gotten it, but it's just not something we talk about.

It's so nice to hear all you mothers out there saying how great you were/are/will be to your girls. I had a bout of serious depression in high school, and a big part of it was that I resented my mother because of our lack of a relationship. I can't wait to have daughters so I can do everything she didn't. She was a great Mom in some ways, but definitely not the kind of mom you can talk to. Let this be a lesson! Talk to your girls! And ice cream is a great idea.

mayness
05-07-2009, 11:03 AM
Mine was pretty uneventful. I was 12, and spending the night at a friend's house, and it noticed it just before we were going to bed. I told my friend, she told her parents, they gave me a pad, I went to sleep. The next morning I told my mom when she picked me up, and she started hugging me and crying, and talking about how I was getting so grown up, lol. She called my grandmother immediately and SHE started crying too. I was so confused... I didn't know what the big deal was! :lol:

Shopaholic1204
05-07-2009, 03:07 PM
I remember in the 7th grade, we were in art class..and this girl who sat at a table with all boys, got hers. And to make matters worse, she was wearing white shorts. It got all over her chair..and the boys were laughing at her. I felt soooooooo bad for her!!! They let her go home early.

As for me..I started when I was 11 1/2. And I got it in the middle of the night on a weekend!!! I was so embarassed to tell my mom, cuz I thought she'd get mad at me for messing up my sheets. But she was totally cool about it. She even stocked up pads for me, lol. It came in really really light that first day. But the next day..omfg, I had the worst cramps ever and it was so heavy. I cried the whole day. I remember wanting boobs so bad, but never wanting my period, lol.

My mom also gave me the book...Are You There God, Its Me Margret. And the girls in the book all wanted their periods so bad..and I could never understand that, lol.

Rowenna
05-07-2009, 05:28 PM
OT, but Shopaholic - we are in the same city! And we're the same height! Lol... Where in Annapolis are you?

CurvyLass
05-07-2009, 05:37 PM
I was about 11 or 12 when I began...I kinda knew it was coming a few weeks before but just ignored it. Mum had fully stuffed my drawers with supplies: towels, tampons and Feminax but when it actually full on occured, she gave me the week off school and spoilt me rotten. Needless to say that no longer occurs each month, I just get mood-swings now!

LittleMoonRabbit
05-07-2009, 05:56 PM
mine was pretty uneventful. I got it at home. I was wearing black pants (luckily). I did have a foreign exchange student visiting at the time... so my mom and I just talked in private, and she gave me a pad and that was that. Though I do remember her telling me "Hey, you're a woman now" and I was excited. Then she told me she would tell my Dad later, and I go sooo embarrassed (makes me laugh now.) I was like "No Mom, he can never find out!" And she laughed and was like "Uh, he knew you would start it eventually, like every other woman on the planet." I dunno, I was always shy around my Dad because he was always working, so we didn't get to see each other much. I love my Dad, he's a great guy, we were just never that close.