Weight Loss Support - out of control.

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05-04-2009, 03:50 PM
I have seriously lost control. I am obsessed with food. When I was younger I did everything I could to avoid food. Now that I'm a wife & mother of two, I have every excuse in the book about why I need to eat junk. (and lots of it) I spent my teenage and college years trying to cut back every calorie I could. I got pregnant, gained 70lbs, and here I am five years later - overweight (by a lot).

I signed up here awhile ago, got motivated, and didn't come back. I always do well for about a month and then find some excuse to stop (holiday, vacation, stress, etc) and always gain everything back (and more).

I'm tired of struggling with my food & exercise issues.

I get motivated and do great. I eat well and try to exercise. Last year I was doing Couch 2 5K! I got through the nine weeks and was running 3 miles....and then, I just stopped. seriously. just stopped. I've started kettle bell routines, stopped. I've done Walk Away the Pounds and then stopped. I have a gym membership that I'm too ashamed to use.

I look back to all the times I've started my "lifestyle changes" in the past years, and it makes me depressed. How is it that I can go weeks of doing well, slowly losing weight, and then just give it all up???

I want weight loss to be fast. I hate how slow it is.

I'm rambling. I know. I'm just sad. I just needed to type this out. I don't really have anyone to talk to about it. No on understands.

I haven't bought myself new clothes in years because I keep thinking that this next "lifestyle change" will be the one. I will lose the weight and the clothes will go to waste. So, instead I'm embarrassing myself because I'm wearing the same few clothes over and over again.

ugh. I don't know how you all stay motivated. I don't know why I can't.

05-04-2009, 04:08 PM
ohhhhhhhh myyyyyyyy gosssshhhhhhhh!!!! you sound JUST like me!!!!!!!! i could have sworn i wrote this myself. i wish i had some amazing advice about how to stay on track and be motivated and all that good stuff.... but if i knew what to say i wouldn't be at this overweight point in my life. all i can say is that you are ABSOLUTELY not alone. everytime i start a "lifestyle change" i say "this is IT. this is the LAST time i do this. i can't imagine being unhealthy again." and then 2 days later i'm ordering pizza at 10pm and try to convince myself that i'll try harder next time. the only thing i'm doing different this time is not being so hard on myself. i'm not sure how its going to work... but my mentality is that if i can take it slow and steady (which is NOT my style. i love quick results) that i can maintain this longer. if i screw up for a meal, or a day, or a weekend.... i just get back on track the next day instead of letting the destruction continue. i also just saw a picture of the back of me at a bridal shower i just attended.... NOT PRETTY. i almost threw up. so i really have no choice now.... if you saw my butt in that picture you'd understand :)

just hang in there.... i'm right there with ya.

05-04-2009, 04:11 PM
Hi there! I'm the same height as you. And my start weight was 244lbs, a bit more than you are right now. So I totally get you. TOTALLY. The sheer panic at your size, desire to do something RIGHT NOW, the frustration when it isn't FAST ENOUGH, back to the WHATEVER and the junk food. I've SO been there.

I don't think it is motivation to lose weight in and of itself. The majority of people here who have lost the weight and are maintainers started off wanting to drop the pounds but MOSTLY wanted to change their lifestyle to become healthy. THAT is where the "motivation" comes in. The pounds off are definitely an issue, but the committment to a long-term (as in a FOREVER, LONG TERM) new lifestyle is what is key.

So, the question you need to ask yourself is this: Have I committed to the lifestyle change as long as the results are fast? And: Do I want to lose the pounds without permanently changing my lifestyle?

If the answer is YES to both, there ARE programs out there that will let you lose the weight FAST. They are super-restrictive but effective. And unfortunately, short-term. If you don't change your food habits, food choices, and have a program that you can work within your lifestyle, you will regain the weight because you will revert to your old habits once the diet is "over".

IF you want to get to a healthy body weight, then a long-term committment to a new lifestyle would be in order. This involves getting eating plan that works for you and that can be maintained for the long term, and figuring out an exercise regime that is do-able. And you need to be consistent, forgiving of slip-ups to get right back on track, accepting of a slower and non-linear weight loss, and PATIENCE.
But you CAN do it. You KNOW you can do it! Keep posting for support and away you go!!!!

05-04-2009, 04:13 PM
This is tough - I can tell you what worked for me. Everyone is so different - don't feel like you have to be 100% perfect right out of the gate, CHANGE when things aren't working.

What worked for me:

Coming up with a "diet" I wouldn't want/need to stop.

1. Eating only foods I like.
2. Meal planning so healthy meals are always ready to go.
3. Making sure I eat enough so my body doesn't crave/binge and drive me off plan.
4. Counting calories gave me the flexibility to eat onplan anywhere.
5. Reducing my "trigger foods" (white carby stuff, like crackers or pretzels or cold cereal - BINGE ATTACK!)

I have so many healthy habits/routines that it's EASY for me to stay onplan. My menus are planned Sunday. Lunches/snacks for the work week are packed Monday morning. Why wouldn't I eat my healthy breakfast? All the stuff I need is ready and I love Greek yogurt with berries. When I get to work, I'm not tempted to go out for fast food for lunch, I already spent money to buy the stuff for my lunch and I really like grilled chicken salads with pomegranate seeds. Around snacktime, when I used to crave yogurt pretzels out of the machine - I'd much rather eat my ripe mango - so juicy and delicious.

I built a plan all around me and what I like. I like to eat lots of fruits and vegetables. I don't mind menu planning and I am lucky enough to work at a place with a big frig/microwave in the breakroom.

What would be easy for YOU?

It probably won't be fast, I let that thought go. That kind of thinking made me fatter and fatter.

05-04-2009, 04:16 PM
Just wanted to add - I definitely sympathize with the feelings of desperation and hopelessness. At the very end, I only had one pair of jeans that fit and they were so tight I had to undo the top button whenever I drove in the car. Miserable.

05-04-2009, 04:24 PM
I understand too. My problem was, I was in your situation for five years before I did anything about it that wasn't half-a$$ed ~ and I had a lot farther to go when first starting.

There's no one-size-fits-all plan for everyone. Mine is Atkins, because I was a lot more willing to give up carbs than portion control, and then, after being on it, I realized I'm a carb addict. Like an alcoholic, I can never, ever have just one bite of anything with sugar or starch again. Others do fine with everything in moderation and nothing off limits, I'm not one of them.

Best of luck to you. It doesn't take motivation to succeed, just commitment for the long haul.

05-04-2009, 05:08 PM
I know exactly how you feel. Every year after Christmas I promise that I wll be below 200 pounds by next Christmas. I would "DIET" for about a month then get tired of it and that next Christmas would come and I was even larger.

This year it has been different. I know that by next Christmas I want to be below 200. However, I made a chart with each month listed and where I wanted to be at the end of that month. When I reached that goal it was on to the next goal. It is easier if I have 5 lb goals at a time. With each five pounds I have a reward for myself. Such as a new piece of clothing, a new CD, etc.

Now I am only 9 pounds away from 200. I know getting to my actual goal of 160 is a long way off but I CELEBRATE each monthly goal. I keep my goals with in reach. I don't challenge myself too hard because I know me, if I miss my goal I will just stop. So it is better for me to have smaller monthly goals.

You CAN do it. Write down where you want to be by the end of May and go from there.

Hang in there.

05-04-2009, 05:37 PM
One thing that deterred me was hating the number on the scale. I'd lose 3lbs, or whatever, and then just be disgusted that with all that work, the scale read the horrible number of 183 (for example).

I decided that it was a really defeatist attitude, because there would be NO WAY I could get to 150 if I did pass through each and every number, 183, 182, 181, etc along the way. I made the choice to love and embrace each number on the way down, rather than hate it, and as silly as that sounds, it has made all the difference.

05-04-2009, 05:41 PM
I understand. Even though I KNOW I am doing well and I am feeling and looking so much better, any little thing will make me want to shove everything in the fridge in my mouth!

I personally am doing calorie counting and it's working, slowly but surely. I like that it allows me to eat more healthy food, almost none high calorie foods otherwise I know I'll be hungry again soon so it's just not worth it to me. I was quite unaware of what an emotional eater I was/am. One little comment from someone(My mother) will completely derail me but with calorie counting, I know that I may slip up for one meal or one afternoon but I'll be okay as long as I count!

There is no magic formula to keep motivated, to lose 60 pounds overnight, to lose 4 dress sizes without changing your life. It just doesn't exsist and even if you find a way, which will be very unhealthy, to do something like that, it won't be long term. Who wants to put in all the work just to gain it all back?

Try a few things. As long as you can commit to being a healthier you, you will get there.

05-04-2009, 06:03 PM
Thanks for your replies. It's comforting knowing that their are others who have the same issues that are doing well and succeeding. It's just so hard knowing I've been here before..at the beginning, ready to change, ready to make this time the one....and knowing in the back of my mind that I've failed so many times. All this work & effort and I could be here a couple months down the road in the exact spot I am in today.

The other part of it is that I seriously work my butt off, every time. I work so hard (at making good choices and getting some exercise in) and I really believe that I've made my new lifestyle stick...but for some reason, whatever it may be...I always end up right back where I started. I don't even really know how it happens.

I don't want this to be attempt #252 of 1,036....I want this to be it.

05-04-2009, 06:41 PM
Think of it this way:
“I haven't failed, I've found 10,000 ways that don't work”
Thomas Edison
You just need to find the right way for YOU. Every attempt is valuable for what it teaches you.

05-04-2009, 06:45 PM
You can do it!.
Trust me!.
Just have some faith in yourself, and don't be to hard on yourself.

05-04-2009, 07:25 PM
Unfortunately, in the game of weightloss there is no quick or easy way! It will take lots of hard work and determination. You have to believe that this is the time that you will succeed. If you don't try, 6 months from now you will be no better off than you are right now.

Set some small achievable goals. Reward yourself for attaining them! Treat yourself to a new item of clothing, a manicure, something that tells yourself you are worth it!

I wish you success! You CAN do it!

05-04-2009, 08:28 PM

I think the problem might be that you were not enjoying what you were doing for losing the weight.

I am new to this forum, I found this forum very supportive by just surfing through.:)

I am 5'3" and 125lbs, a mother of two little boys. I exercise 4-5 times a week during my lunch hour, I do Aerobics (I love Zumba!), swimming, treadmill, ellipitical, and some resistance training. I mix/rotate them all to keep things interesting, since I got bored easily stuck on one thing.

You have to do exercise that you really enjoy, for me, it's the Zumba and swimming. Continous running/jogging is not my thing and it tires me out easily so I do the high intensity intervals to past time faster.

When I was in my teen years all the way up to 23, I was on the chubby side, my heaviest was like 140+ lbs. I started to eat less and exercise and lost about 30 lbs in 6 months. I gained about 10 lbs from my lightest in the past 10 years after getting married and having 2 boys. Those 10 lbs are very very hard to lose I may just have to accept it since 125 lbs with some muscles is ok.

What I found out through these years is that, 1. there is no shortcut; 2. you really have to find some exercises that you enjoy so that you can stick to it and make it part of your lifestyle.

And do watch what you eat, find out how much calories you can eat for your target weight and try to stick to it. For me, it's under 1500 Kcal even with exercises.:dizzy:

05-04-2009, 09:13 PM
I do think that trying to enjoy the journey is so important.It possibly will take several month to lose.Dont stop living your life in the process of reaching your goals.The distination(goal weight) is what we all strive for but the journey is where we learn the life lessons.Enjoy your journey.Get out there and live your life.Buy new clothes that make you feel good NOW!This may help you on your journey.Good luck and keep plugging away.