General chatter - Concerned about my 9 yr old daugher losing weight

05-02-2009, 06:42 PM
Hi chickies,

I need some guidance/advice from you ladies (and gents).

Last Christmas, my daugher weighed around 78lbs.
In March of this year, I noticed that she wasn't eating much and I had her go to the scales and she weighed 70.8 lbs.
Since then I've been weighing her every Sat. morning and this morning she weighed 69 lbs. So she's lost about 9 lbs since Christmas.

I have checked her fasting glucose, because I was thinking possible diabetes, and it was 82. So, that seems ok.
I'm worried about anorexia or other medical problems.

She tells me that she's just not hungry or that stuff doesn't taste good.
My husband is telling me to feed her anything-ice cream, full fat chocolate milk, cookies, etc., to put weight on her, but I don't want to start feeding her junk and start that as a bad habit.
Does anyone have any been there/done that advice?

Donna :(

05-02-2009, 07:13 PM
Take her to the doctor. A doctor will know if it's anything serious.

05-02-2009, 07:14 PM
Do you talk about your weight loss efforts a lot around her? When cooking, trying on clothes? Have you accidentally put your need for weight loss in a really negative light, maybe? You could ask her doctor, or the school counselor to do an eval on her or for suggestions :)

ETA : Props for being an active mom in her life! My boyfriend's little brother is 11 and going through pretty bad anxiety problems right now, and his school has been VERY good at helping their mom figure out the best way to help the kiddo, and getting him involved in therapy just to help with coping techniques and stuff after they had the mom, the teacher, the counselor, and the little guy himself do age-appropriate assessments on his anxiety. Maybe they have something else geared toward self image that could be really beneficial. Definitely great that whatever the problem IS - you're taking fantastic steps in helping your daughter :)

05-02-2009, 07:15 PM
I'd definitely recommend a visit to her physician. I wish you guys the best of luck. :)

05-02-2009, 07:19 PM
My son went through something like this in 8th grade. Anorexia, weight loss. He got down to 85#. I took him to a pediatric gastroenterologist who did a gastroscopy and colonoscopy. He also checked him for parasites and Celiac disease. The only thing they could find was some mild gastritis. They put him on Nexium for 6 weeks and he started to eat better and gain weight. I think part of the problem was emotional. At that age, he had a lot of social issues with peers, etc. I would definitely schedule an appt. with your child'd Dr. for a complete physical and go from there.

05-02-2009, 07:30 PM
I'm also jumping on the "see the pediatrician" bandwagon. I know you're worried, but try not to make a humongous deal of it at home because if the issue is stress-related, having Mom breathing down her neck every waking moment isn't going to help. (Ask me how I know...)

You're a good mom for picking up on it. :)

05-02-2009, 08:24 PM
Definitely consult her doctor.

That being said, are you noticing any other behavior changes? Is she more attentive to her appearance? Does she seem more interested in clothes, hair, make-up etc.? Who are her friends - do you notice any of those changes with her friends?

Did she know she was losing weight? Was she weighing herself? I agree that you shouldn't load her up with empty calories. She needs to eat healthy foods - healthy fats would be fine. Higher calorie healthy foods should be the goal. See how she reacts to those - does she balk? If so, she is probably not leveling with you regarding why she has lost so much weight. That is a significant weight loss in a short period of time - not normal for a growing child. You should be concerned. Intercede now.

05-02-2009, 08:45 PM
Sounds Like an eating disorder Maybe from Your weight loss~We have to be careful what we say in front of our children when were losing weight. I would not continue to weigh her weekly...It may make it worse
Definetly consult a doctor~Most definetly. I hope all goes well for y'all ~I am in no way blaming you~when we lose weight sometimes we get so excited that thats all we talk about and our children pick up on it....I try to never say anything in front of my kids because they start worring about weight.
Maybe she is scared to get heavy....So she simply refuses to eat much.
TAKE CARE AND GOODLUCK~I know you will get it figured out because your a good concerend mom and I will keep you & her in my prayers.

frustrated mom
05-02-2009, 09:13 PM
I agree with everyone else about taking her to the doctor- to just get a physical. Maybe talk to the doctor on the phone when she isn't around and have him make a note in her chart what is going on, and just tell her that she needs to go in for a physical. Have him look her over and discuss with you in private what he thinks, and what tests he would suggets. Does she have an aunt or someone a little older that she just loves to be around, besides you and your husband? Maybe have them ask her if everything is going o.k. at school, home, etc.... I have a friend that has a child that is in kindergarten with my daughter, and she doesn't like to eat either. She takes a few bites, and then says she is full. She doesn't even eat sweets. I wish I had that problem. I know that the doctors have always told me that when their body needs something, they will crave it. It never hurts to have her checked out. My son only ate bread when he was 2. We were very concerned, and the doctor had no concerns, and said when his body needed something else, he would start eating it, and he is older now, and is a very picky eater, but he still loves to eat bread.

05-02-2009, 09:43 PM
I try to be very careful what I do and say about weight around the house.
I've seen enough Dr. Phil and Oprah shows to know better-lol!!

I only started weighing her weekly so that I could track her weight and see if it continued to go down. It held steady for several weeks and then this week it was down.

My husband did ask his boss's (sp?) wife, who is a pediatrician, if we should be concerned. She said that she's at the age when girls do start thinking about weight. I was planning to take her for just a physical this summer. I keep thinking nothing is really "wrong" with her because she doesn't seem to feel bad or anything. I will call and talk to her doctor and see what she thinks.

Thanks everyone for the advice :)

05-02-2009, 10:19 PM
you know what kids with eating disorders are really really good at?

hiding stuff.

i would encourage you to read about these things until you are comfortable that she is okay, or that you need to get her some help.

early intervention in these matters saves lives.

this might be a good place to start:


05-02-2009, 10:45 PM
Thank you for the link.
I meant to ask if anyone knew of any good websites/forums for eating disorders.

05-03-2009, 12:08 AM
I went through the same exact thing last Summer with my daughter.She was the same age.It had to do with the girls at school and what they were saying about her weight.She has since then started gaining some weight back but I worry sometimes that she will turn around and lose again.Since she has started gaining which is only still 90 pounds and going on 11 they call her fat.Kids can be so cruel.Maybe some of the girls at school are watching their weight and she is now to.

05-03-2009, 12:48 AM
A few years ago I was working at an elementary school where a bunch of the fifth grade girls (10 and 11 year olds) started refusing to eat lunch. A few of the more socially powerful kids decided they were "too fat" and started "dieting" and it spread to the others. We had a nutritionist come in and talk to the entire grade level about healthy (and unhealthy) eating habits, and that helped.

Thighs Be Gone
05-03-2009, 02:14 AM
Yep, I have to monitor what I say around my girls too. I am almost embarrasssed to tell you guys that my FIVE-YEAR-OLD...yep, 5-YR-OLD wrote down on a piece of paper the following:


I asked her what it was she said, "oh, yeah, that's what I ate." I felt sooo tremendously guilty.

05-03-2009, 02:49 AM
Yep. I agree. Straight to the doctor. Also, your doctor may want (and it might be a good idea) to talk to her alone. Maybe she will say something to the doctor that she might not say to you. I know that might not sit well with you, it wouldn't with me either...but if she has a body image issue, the doctor or counselor may be able to get to the bottom of it. I would definitely find out if there are any other changes going on...behavioral (as someone mentioned), etc...I think school might be key too.

Lastly, kids get things from tv that aren't always good. For instance, my daughter (who is just now 10) watches a lot of disney channel and some of the things that come out of her mouth are straight from those shows.

05-03-2009, 02:55 AM
I'd consult a doctor. You're right in not wanting to pack her full of junk food, cause that can start a bad habit and even worse health problems

Suzanne 3FC
05-03-2009, 10:05 AM
Thank you for the link.
I meant to ask if anyone knew of any good websites/forums for eating disorders. Great articles, busy forum, and full of experts. We've sent many of our own members there, with good feedback.

Good luck :hug: