My whole life I have yo yoed my weight. I went from 260 to 190, back to 260 again, than lost 60 and now I'm at 251 lbs. I just recently am starting to TRY to lose and It's even more difficult this time around. I get so down in the dumps when I gain (As I'm sure you guys understand that). I'm trying really hard, but it's like my apetite is taking over. Whats a good discipline technique I could use to stop myself from giving in to eating something I know I shouldnt? I've tried a food journal, but it just doesnt help. My boyfriend lives with me and I cook for him alot. Do you also have any lowfat recipes that men like.Please help?!
Last edited by K4Li; 04-27-2009 at 11:42 AM.
Reason: Need some support and advice
I know all about your struggle. I'm sure everyone else here does as well. Some people are capable of making a decision and then just sticking with it. I'm definitely not one of those!
Still, there are choices that I've made for myself that have added up to me losing weight. For me that's worked the best, because there always seems to be something to screw up a perfect eating/exercise day...and its mostly me!
I'll just list some things here. Maybe it'll give you something to think about and you can make some choices for yourself.
1. I don't drink alcohol any more. I've never been one to drink a lot, but when I have, it's been at parties, where there usually is a lot of all the wrong kinds of appetizers and snack foods. If I have one drink, I lose all control, start at one end of the buffet table and work my way down to the other end. So, now it's just a glass of club soda with lemon/lime in it, and I can make wiser choices, or completely stay away from the food altogether.
2. I stopped buying food with sugar, white flour, white rice, all those refined carbohydrates in them. I am a type 2 diabetic and I had to do it. This one was actually easy for me since I really grew up eating this way, so I'm very used to whole wheat spaghetti, brown rice and 100% whole wheat bread. I actually prefer it. I know not everyone likes it, but I really believe one can get used to it and then even enjoy it.
3. Half my meals are fresh vegetables. And I always eat a balance meal. No single nutrient meals, like just protein, or just carbs. I have half a plate of veggies, with as much high-fiber veggies as possible. Then I add a single serving of protein, carbohydrates and fats. This helps me manage my hunger the best.
4. I don't buy fast food and processed food any more. PERIOD! I love pizza, burgers, sandwich meats and hotdogs, sausages, macaroni and cheese, frozen TV dinners, etc. If it's in my house, I can't stop myself. So I just don't buy it. If I want pizza, I will make it from scratch, with whole wheat pita crust, very little cheese, veggies. I'd rather have a single serving of that than eat something from Round Table, that I can't stop myself at two pieces, and will hate myself the next day for.
5. I always eat exactly what I want, as long as it's a healthy choice and a single serving. I can actually eat a single ounce of chocolate. I get the dark kind, with 70% cocoa in it (I call it medicinal chocolate), take a bite and let it melt in my mouth. It's all I really want now.
6. I keep track of how many calories I eat in a day. And I don't eat more than 600 calories per meal. And never less than 300 calories, or I get hungry too quickly afterwards.
7. I don't drink anything but water, a couple cups of coffee a day, and herbal tea. No sodas, not even diet.
8. There's no butter in my house. I'm a slut for butter. I only use olive oil. If there was butter in my house, then it would be on my bread, everyday, and in my oatmeal in the morning, and cooking my eggs, and finishing my sauces, and all over my popcorn... I don't do the same with olive oil.
Basically, I've removed things from my diet that don't have meaning for me and don't really do anything for my efforts. Then I can go about cooking and eating what I want from what I have in the house.
And since I'm the one who is doing the cooking, I choose what is cooked. I'm a good cook. If my sons won't eat what I made, they can get something else. On my watch, they always lose weight and they eat plenty of food. On my husband's watch, they always gain weight.
My soon-to-be-ex always ate what I cooked. Then he'd go out to the garage to his Pringles shrine and snack on chips and drink rum and Cokes. And he always keeps ice cream in the freezer with a spoon in the container. And he goes to the gym three times a week. Plus he also took up smoking in his 40s. That was all his choice. He thinks I'm obsessed with health. It's all choices.
I'm a slut for butter. I only use olive oil. If there was butter in my house, then it would be on my bread, everyday, and in my oatmeal in the morning, and cooking my eggs, and finishing my sauces, and all over my popcorn... I don't do the same with olive oil.
Girl I love that- butter slut
Anyways- honestly you are yo-yoing so dramatically because it seems you are going from one extreme to the next (I'm sure you already know that). From healthy eating to terrible eating, and you have to understand that you have to change your habits for life, not just for a few weeks or months. I have come to the realization I can't eat out everyday, I can't make unhealthy choices, and so on. But what I can do is cook at home and find healthier alternatives. Last weekend we made burgers for dinner that came out to less than 450 calories a burger. That was with cheese and so much better than a whopper with cheese (760 calories).
I wouldn't worry about your bf first of all, cook for yourself. I used to worry about my husband and make mac and cheese and all the things HE liked for him and while he's 6'3" and 200 lbs, I went up to 5'3" and 235 lbs! NOT GOOD.
Finally one day I told him I'm too overweight and I'm worried about my health so things are going to change and that *I* am the most important person in my life right now. He was fine with that cuz he wanted me to be happy. So things changed slowly. FIRST when all the 'bad stuff' was gone I stopped buying more. Then I switched out butter for olive oil and PAM spray. Then I started eating more veggies in my meals. Then I started eating fruits for snack, today I eat at least one piece of fruit a day and a ton of veggies daily.
With time my husband has started coming around and last night when I made fish for dinner he ate all of it and liked it! This coming from a man who says he HATES fish.
Slow gradual changes add up, tell your bf it's time you both ate healthier and took care of yourselves (I'm sure one day you want to get married and have kids so might as well start now with them in mind). If he abhors the food he can always make himself something else, but I find most guys will just eat what their partner makes. Even if they wind eventually they get used to it or eat something else for dinner.
Lucky for me the stuff my husband buys I don't like (BBQ chips, Fritos, and so on) and even now I've noticed he has dramatically cut down on the amount of junk food he eats anyways.
geoblewis and beerab, that's great advice! It's little things like that that add up and make a big difference. You can incorporate one thing every week or every two weeks, and you'll be losing weight with much less effort. Maybe thinking about it like that would be more helpful?
When I first started I decided to give up sugar. If it had sugar in it I DID NOT eat it. I found that to be simple and straight forward and it pointed me in the right direction. It's been about 5 months since I decided to give up sugar(and white bread , white rice and regular pasta) Of course some of these things "sneak" in every once in a while, for instance I had sushi(w/white rice) tonight for dinner, but as a general rule refined sugar is out. This "rule" has helped me tremendously.
I do think eliminating all the white stuff at least helps with the cravings.This might be a great place to start for you.Cravings make it difficult to stick with any change in your way of eating.Try this and see how you feel.If you find it is helpful then you can start to tweak the rest of your eating plan.I think little step are great.Changing everything all at once is hard to stick with.
I just remembered a few more tricks that I've learned over the years that have been helpful.
I tend to get crabby when I really want something and deny myself. I sabotage myself and eat everything else that is "good for me", even though I don't really want it, and then just cave into my craving anyway. Overeating is overeating, even if its healthy food...and I am here to tell you, most of the fat on my body is from overeating healthy food!
So, what do I do instead? If I want what I want, I go ahead and have it, but I have a controlled portion or a smart substitution. There's never an ice cream container and a spoon in front of me. Rather, a small bowl and a half cup serving. And I eat it really slowly. Or I'll make myself a non-fat yogurt smoothie (and not a huge one either). I had to come to the understanding that I am not entitled to a huge portion. I can eat a small, normal portion and live. If I want peanut M&Ms, I will put four in a small bowl and put the rest of the bag away. I'm satisfied with what I got.
At restaurants, portions are too big. I order exactly what I want and ask for the take-away container right away to pack up half the meal up front. And you will never see me at a Hometown Buffet. It's a dangerous place!
I have been losing at a slow rate. Some might be too impatient, but every time I've lost a significant amount of weight very quickly, I gained it right back and then some. But the slow rate means I've made real life changes, I'm sticking to them, and I'm succeeding. And that feels really good.
Thank you all for your advice, You've all been so helpful! I'm gonna have to take a shot at it! On an even better note. I lost 2 lbs, so It must be working, wohoo! As frustrated as I get, it still feels SOO good when I lose even 1 lb.
WTG on your loss!!!! i totally agree with you that even an pound feels good when you are working so hard to get the weight off.. Congrats and WAY TO GO!!!!
Congrats on your loss! My weigh in is today and I'm kind of nervous. I've been a yo-yoer all my life, and my sedentary job doesn't help the situation.
I've done a lot of what's already been said, cutting out white stuff (flour, rice, bread, etc) but what really limits me is that I cannot have artificial sweetener. If one tiny ounce of Splenda makes it into whatever I'm eating/drinking, I get an instant migraine. Because of this I've gradually just weaned myself off sugar. I've come to actually prefer unsweetened iced tea, especially with lemon and I use applesauce or flavored yogurt when/if I bake.
I am also a butter slut, but I've learned to love olive oil, Pam, and SmartBalance for when I absolutely NEED "butter." I've also replaced mayo with hummus - it pretty much works for everything, whether it be on a sandwich or in chicken salad.
A big issue for me has also been portion control. What's helped me a lot with that has been planning. I'll sometimes cook on the weekends for the week, and as soon as I finish cooking (soup, for instance) I'll portion it right out into those little disposable/re-usable tupperware containers. That way when I'm packing my lunch in the morning, or I'm in a hurry to eat dinner, everything is already there for me, in the right amount.
Another trick I've learned is that soup is my friend. I've added a cup of broth-based soup before lunch and it really helps with my hunger. There are many low calorie, low fat soups out there, but I tend to make my own. I can control the sodium and add exactly what I want.
I've also learned that I just like chewing. I'm a "bored" eater so I always have my desk stocked with gum and if I decide its not that I'm bored, but I'm actually hungry, I tend to always have chopped up veggies around. I hate salads, but I love uncooked vegetables.
Finally, I always serve myself a portion at a time. I live with roommates, so its very rare that we have a sit-down dinner, we usually just make whatever and eat in front of the tv together. I'll only give myself one portion of meat, rice, veggies, that way if I want to eat more, I have to walk in front of people to get to the kitchen, and it tends to make me re-think "am I hungry or do I just want food."
I totally agree with beerab about yo-yoing between completely unrestrained eating and completely restricted dieting--I've been doing that my whole life, swinging from thin and miserable to overweight and miserable. After my recent newlywed weight gain I saw myself starting to go the super-restrictive route again, and finally had to say enough is enough.
You (or at least I) get into this bizarre head space where you wait to do things and go places and even feel good about yourself "until I lose X-number of pounds." I hate it. So what's been most helpful for me is taking it completely one day at a time and asking myself how I can be healthy and happy on this day. Planning a couple of healthy but fulfilling meals and gearing up for one workout is so much easier than staring at a big daunting weight loss plan and getting overwhelmed.
I've found that I'm so mad about overeating that I just don't want to eat anymore. I try to do other things besides eat. And what that is leading to is me getting annoyed that I'm hungry b/c it's dinner time, so I stop what I'm doing, go into the kitchen, make something quick, small and healthy, eat until I feel 'not hungry' any more, then close up the kitchen, lights off, and go back to what I was doing. It's been working really well, and I feel like a girl who doesn't really care about food anymore (I'm not starving myself- it's like 1000-1200 cals per day, which Jillian says is ok if you have more than 50lbs to lose).
I'm just looking at food differently. It's not an entertaining thing anymore. It's a nuisance inturrupting my daily fun activities. I'm focusing more on friends and events as entertainment, not food. And when I lay down at night I feel how flat my stomach is getting and I embrace the feeling. I think it's all about an attitude change (and I don't mean "attitude" in a bad way). My mom is naturally 120lbs and she says she likes the feeling of being hungry-- not starving, but hungry. I think we need to learn to love that feeling. I used to dread it!
Really Struggling
I'm focusing more on friends and events as entertainment, not food. And when I lay down at night I feel how flat my stomach is getting and I embrace the feeling. I think it's all about an attitude change (and I don't mean "attitude" in a bad way). My mom is naturally 120lbs and she says she likes the feeling of being hungry-- not starving, but hungry. I think we need to learn to love that feeling. I used to dread it!
