Body Image and Issues after Weight Loss - To go sleeveless, or not to go sleeveless. That is the question!

Hello ladies!

I couldn't really think of a good place to ask this question, but I figured this was at least a somewhat appropriate place. Basically, I'm wondering what everyone's opinions are on wearing sleeveless shirts without a matching cardigan or jacket on top. The past month or so I've been strongly considering allowing myself this luxury this summer, since in certain tops (usually with wider straps) I think my arms don't look too bad (even though there is obviously a some flab left as I have over 30 lbs to go until goal). I know there's a stereotype of overweight people looking "dumpy" if they wear sleeveless shirts, but I think that if it's a nice top and you accessorize accordingly that couldn't possibly be true.

Part of me says most people couldn't care less about what my arms look like, but then the other part of me will always think of the negative things my dad used to say about women wearing sleeveless tops. Usually it amounted to if they were the slightest bit chubby or didn't have perfectly toned arms that they should cover it up. I think I have this fear that although I think my arms don't look that bad, it's only because they look MUCH better than they used to (and so most people wouldn't dare go sleeveless in my position). *sigh*

So I guess my question is... what's your opinion on bare arms? Do you go sleeveless? Are you apprehensive about it? Do you pay attention to other people's arms when they wear sleeveless tops and think negative things if they're flabby? Honesty is greatly appreciated!

Thanks!
-Lindsey

I love going sleeveless! Honestly, I rarely think about other people's bare arms when they are wearing a sleeveless top; therefore, I have never felt self conscious when wearing a tank top. I've worked hard on my arms--lots of weights and hours on the rowing machine--I'm proud of what I've accomplished--so, who cares what other people think?

Go for it! I've been so impressed with your weight loss--show it off!

I think my upper arms are the least attractive part of my body, and I struggle with this regularly. In theory, I want to say that yes, I should not feel shame about any part of my body. I have gone sleeveless, but I tend to avoid it. It really depends on the situation -- the company I will be keeping, where I will be going, how hot it is outside, basically how comfortable I will feel. Sometimes I will go sleeveless, and then never feel really comfortable with what I'm wearing, anyway.

I definitely wear sleeveless shirts. When I see other people in them I don't even really notice their arms. It gets too hot here to not wear them. Plus, I don't want a tan half way down my arm! :)

I say go sleeveless! I'm sure your arms look great. :) I'd do it more often except that I'm always cold since I lost weight. Sigh.

I don't wear sleeveless shirts, but I will once my arm cellulite goes away and I have a bit more toning like I did before. I think it's really noticeable (for me anyway). I won't even wear one to the gym yet. I don't 'check out' other people's arms but I am very aware of mine. I feel kind of naked, like my butt is hanging out or something lol. And they are too white from winter :)

I'm certain you're your own worst critic and your arms are just as beautiful as the rest of you. I say if you want to wear sleeveless - wear sleeveless.

I'm with Meg though. Last summer I bought this beautiful sleeveless shirt, finally wore it to go out to dinner with friends - and immediately had to cover it up with the sweater that I brought along. Sleeveless? Me? What WAS I thinking?

Which is kind of what happened to me yesterday. It was the first warm day (over 90 in fact) that we have had since last summer. I put on a nice short-sleeved shirt and was fine. Went out shopping in the afternoon and the second I hit a store - realized that it was time to start bringing those sweaters with me where ever I go again. Because I am uncomfortably cold the second I am out of the blazing sun.

If you like them and like how they look, go for it! I've got some loose skin under my arms, but strength training has helped a LOT so I want to show off my arms. I even wore sleeveless tops when I was bigger just because I wanted to. I live in Texas, and it'll be 106+ at some points this summer. Sleeveless is a MUST sometimes for me....

I am horrified by my upper arms, to the point where my best friend and I got into a huge fight about me being her maid of honor because she wanted me to go sleeveless and I refused to budge. I also tend to notice how other women look without sleeves: if their arms look good, I envy them their arms, if they look flabby and awful like mine, I envy them their oblivious confidence. My worst fear about this diet is that my arms will end up with long, flappy wings from the deflated arm bulge, but I think they have surgeries for that.

I say go sleeveless :)

I am very conscious of my upper arms as well. They have shrunk quite a bit with my weight loss but I still do not think they are toned enough.

One thing I found are some tops which have a very small sleve -- practically sleveless but somehow just having that small sleve makes the arms look better. Not sure if I am being clear but that has helped me!

It gets extremely hot here in the summers--I have never gone a summer without wearing sleeveless..even when preggo and at my highest weight of 230 something.

To me, having sweat dripping down my temples and looking miserable in too many clothes is way worse looking than arms could ever be!

I hate my upper arms, always have. The only time I ever went sleeveless, after I turned 12, was senior prom, simply because there weren't any dresses available that weren't sleeveless.

I have been working out very, very hard and the upper part of my upper arms looks great. The bottom part, not so much. I am still not ready for sleeveless but considering how much my arms have improved, I think I will be there within a year.

Go SLeeveless!! I have the flappy, hope on my back I could fly us to Canada Arms and I do sleeveless when it is super hot. I think arms are more of an issues for most ladies than not. I have a co worker who weighs about 140 and due to her age and weight fluctuation her arms look worse than mine. Now I would never wear sleeveless to work as that is a matter of appropriateness in our workplace but anywhere else for me I go for it..

If you are comfortable...GO FOR IT! :D

I am not there yet....but one of these days I WILL go sleeveless. ;)

I have larger flabby arms, I don't care, half my wardrobe is tank taps. I love tank tops and halter style dresses. My mother on the other hand, hates her arms and she will NEVER wear something with out sleeves. I say GO FOR IT

I just bought some sleeveless tops, both workout and pretty and I'm going to wear them with pride so I say go for it!

Go for it! I have lots of sleeveless items now. And, I still have my bat wings, though they are much smaller than they were.

Life is too short to worry about what others are thinking. Dress for yourself, enjoy your wardrobe, and have fun!

That being said, keep a sweater handy - Robin and Meg are correct (unfortunately).

I think you should go for it! I never noticed anyone's arms when they're wearing a tank top or going sleeve-less. I really don't think anyone is on arm patrol when they're out and about so id go for it and enjoy!

I NEVER wore ANYTHING sleeveless until about 1 year ago---- and that was 1 YEAR into maintainance and also 1.5 YEARS after having an arm lift done (bc I have always been soooo sensitive about my arms-- I used to cry about how "fat" they were and how no one could ever love me, basically, bc of my arms (of course there were other "issues" going on with me for me to actually think that!)).
Anyway, even though I have had an arm lift I don't have toothpick arms and I also have loooong scars running down my arms that are visible in short sleeves and sleeveless shirts....... but I say GO FOR IT...... there are such pretty tops (and dresses!) out there in sleevelss styles and I say don't limit your life or your wardrobe to covering up!!! Besides--- have you *looked* at yourself???!!!! You freakin' DESERVE to wear sleeveless---- you have lost so much weight and just even as a human being you deserve the right to be comfortable and to look just as pretty as you please. And you are pretty. So, you should accessorize what you have going for you naturally with some really pretty (and comfortable!- the summer is coming!) clothing. :)

Don't listen to any that might tell you otherwise :hug:

This is a great thread. Genetically, I have flabby arms (so lucky I inherited my grandmother's arms). I've always had to buy larger tops or at least dropped shoulders so that my arms wouldn't be binded (that hasn't changed yet). After losing appr 45 pounds, they are big and now droopy skin. I have the arm lift surgery scheduled for next February so I can lose 15 more pounds. So I've debated the sleeveless question the last few weeks. Until the loose skin, I was fine with sleeveless but now, they look worse.

That said, I oersonally think my arms look worse in short sleeves. The cut in half, line by the fattest part brings the focus to that fattest part. So I'm leaning to the sleeveless for comfort, and the heck with people's thoughts. Next year they will be tight and toned. At the moment, no one can see the toned but I know it's there.

One other point on the decision comes from a string bean friend about twenty years ago. She said, "Marie, covering yourself and being roasted isn'y fooling anybody. Dress for the weather, not for what you think others will notice which they most likely won't." Those were wise words and I live by them.

Marie

PS I do agree with the always freezing girls out there. It's nice out and I wanted to dress for the weather (but aapropriate for work). I chose a 1/2 sleeve knit shirt and am not shivering because my heater is blasting under my desk! :o:D:o:D

I personally think most women look better letting a little skin show on the top part of their bodies, whether heavy or not.

I think a bare upper chest and arms provide an attractive frame for our faces. If you wear a necklace against your bare skin, I like that too. I am not self-conscious about my arms even though I'm heavy and, as far as I can tell, no one notices them. I do think we obsess way too much about what people are noticing.

People might notice we're heavy, but unless your arms (or whatever) are way out of proportion to the rest of your body, I doubt that even enters most people's consciousness. And if it does, so what? No one's perfect.

I totally agree with Marie's friend, wearing long sleeves in hot weather doesn't fool anyone, so we might as well be comfortable! I need to take that advice more to heart.... I tend to wear t-shirts all summer, which is fine by me, but then I get an awful farmer's tan that really embarrasses me every time I have to wear a sleeveless dress for a wedding or something... I'm planning to make more of an effort to go sleeveless more often this summer so I can avoid that. :P

I think it's not so much whether people notice our arms or not - obviously, some people will, some won't. But the thing is it's an illusion to think that sleeves keep the noticers & judgers from noticing and judging :)

(1) *Those* people are going to notice and judge whether you wear sleeves or not.
(2) Most people aren't noticers and judgers.
(3) Therefore, wear sleeveless if you want!

Julie, I totally agree with you. I do admit that I will not wear some clothes because I'm 47 and would look silly on me, but not because of my bat wings. My guess is that no one has the time to notice the wings, and when I have the arm lift next February, no one will notice that either. I think the easiest way to realize no one cares is whether you notice other people's arms. My good friend who I see daily at work is about 2X my weight and I realized I've never noticed her arms. :) I only see her, my friend. Sort of puts it into perspective.
Marie

Wearing long sleeves in summer isn't fooling anyone!! Well is that wonderful or what? I never really thought about this, just been sweating in my sleeves. I never notice some ones big arms. I will notice a nice blouse or dress, or bracelet, and admire that they have the courage to wear it.

Go for it! I'm finally back at a place where I'm okay in a tank top. I honestly don't think anyone else even pays attention.

Definitely, go for it!! More sleveless clothes are so comfy!!

I have been buying sleeveless tops for this summer in preparation of baring my arms. This will be the first summer ever in my adult life that I'm going to go for it. Even when I was younger I felt that my arms were too big for sleeveless. I now realize that it wasn't true. I do have some little bat wings, but only if I hold my arms in certain positions. They have improved so much though and they will continue to tone up. I'm just going to rock it!

I've always avoided wearing sleaveless shirts (even when I was much thinner) because I was convinced my arms were fat and flabby. Last summer I spent much more time than normal outside doing barn work and was amazed to find that with a little bit of color to my arms (and the extra work involved in using a pitchfork 2 or 3 hours a day) I am now happy to go bare armed! I have a whole collection of sleaveless shirts and wear them all the time. Comfort is key!

Count me in the "go sleeveless" group. :)

I live in a REALLY hot place and I see people all the time hiding their arms and being misarable. LET them enjoy the air if you are cofortable I have really toned arms now and LOVE to show thm off BUT have always wore TANKS!!!!!

if there's one thing i could change about my body it'd be the lunch lady arms =) .. kinda a bad refernce but that's what i've always called em. i never wore sleeveless shirts around guys cause i always felt like omg my arms are gonna be bigger than theirs. while my body's proportioned, kinda hour glassy, my arms have always been the hardest. however lately, i kinda feel like i'm bettering myself and I know it, so I don't care if you know it. and if others don't like it, don't look..or i'll hit ya in the face with my flab. lol. either way ladies, we're all here to better ourselves for OURSELVES. just be happy with who you are, confidence is contagious!

Just reporting back mid summer... but I've been going sleeveless all the time, especially with several days in the triple digits! Haha. I've even worn halter sun dresses, etc. I'm really happy that I just got over it because I would have been so miserable if I had to cover up in this kind of heat... haha

I'm glad you got over it! I go sleeveless a lot and I don't think I will know what to do when the weather gets cooler :lol:

In middle school this kid told me my arms were too fat for sleeeveless and i abandon like 20 shirts I owned for about 2 years. Now I figure it's stupid to listen to what other people say. It's about how you feel. My cutest tops are sleeveless; I rock them all the time!

If you want to go sleeveless because the weather is hot, please do so. I have sometimes thought about how others might not like looking at my flabby arms but then I remember the woman in white capris who was wearing striped underwear that we could all see, the young girl in front of me at a check out line whose skirt was sooooo short I could actually see her crotch (she did have on underwear thank goodness but none the less), and the young man who wore a t-shirt with the F word on it while I was grocery shopping with my then little children. etc etc. I just say to myself, if they can go out in public like that then I can certainly be comfortable in the hot weather.

I hope you get my point....:)

Enjoy!

http://www.3fatchicks.net/img/bar-blue/fireworks01/lb/253/153/244/.png (http://www.3fatchicks.com/)

ANewCreation, you make an excellent point. I love the short skirt reference. eeks!

It took me a long time to get over this, too. I hate my upper arms, but when it's hot, you just have to do it. Try using self-tanner or gradual self-tanning lotion (makes me more confident about them, conceals stretchmarks).

I have always gone sleeveless. I go sleeveless now, and I am a heavy girl. I know I haven't lost all the weight I want, but I don't think I could get by without going sleeveless now and again.

I never wear sleeveless, but I don't wear long sleeves either. Elbow lebgth or a longish short sleeve is OK. I don't care what other women wear but I notice that some would look better with a bit of a sleeve.

Even when I was at my heaviest and could see all the weight in my arms, I wore tanks. I do not wear spaghetti straps, nor do I think i ever will :( My weight is all in my upper body, so spaghetti straps are freaking nasty on me.

Ya know, I'm sure there are folks out there who see me and think I should be wearing sleeves at all times. But I really don't care lol. If I knew who they were I'd be sure to parade around in spandex in front of them every chance I got just to make the point that I am not dressing for favorable judgment from the masses.

I love sleeveless shirts, especially tanks. I love sundresses. I love to wear flip flops with it all. I wear what I like, not what I think everyone else likes. Heat is a BIG factor here, and I refuse to make myself miserable so that I don't chance making a fashion faux pas. Besides, it's not like by covering it all as much as possible that I'm fooling anyone into thinking I'm not as fat as I really am.

When I look in the mirror I am worried about pleasing ME. Sure, there are things I don't like at the moment, areas I want to change and be as fit as I can...but nobody is perfect. I have stretchmarks. I have arm and belly and thigh flab. I'm not going to hide because I have imperfections. People can either love me or look the other way.

I'm in the middle....I want to wear tank tops but my arms sorta look like curdling pile of flab if they land just right along my side. Ugh. I hate it. I'm struggling to find peace with myself with this issue. I too have been throwing a small 3/4 sleeve waist high cardigan over my tanks to hide my arms...not going to be able to get away with this when it 80 degrees this summer! Going to have to suck it up and live my life I suppose and if I wear t-shirts vs a tank well then I'll just be hotter, lol. (ok not really laughing...sigh...)

I just wore a sleeveless top for the first time a couple weeks ago...it was a girls night out and I was feeling brave! I have been working hard on my arms, so I felt "ok" about it. Still lots of work to do, but I have actually purchased a couple of other sleeveless tops to wear this summer!

I love my sleeveless shirts! I am always the girl roasting in the room, so I wear as little clothing as I can get away with in the summer. I have lots of cute skorts, too. I think they're much more flattering than shorts.