Weight Loss Support - Defeated




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junkatarian
04-26-2009, 12:41 AM
I am feeling defeated as far as adopting a healthier lifestyle. I was pursuing a healthier weight for six months and then after having a really stressful vacation earlier this year and returning home knowing I have severe financial problems to deal with, left me feeling like food was the only comfort I had. That stress pushed me to let go of making healthier choices. I don't want to be overweight, not fit, and just generally unhealthy, but I seem to keep choosing that route. Why?


unwanted37lbs
04-26-2009, 01:19 AM
oh i am sorry you feel this way... if it was me i would probably turn this another way around... like if i want food, i would go exercise... i know i would. And that will make me feel better instead of overeating guilt....

rockinrobin
04-26-2009, 07:42 AM
I don't want to be overweight, not fit, and just generally unhealthy, but I seem to keep choosing that route. Why?

I'm not sure why we make the choices we do sometimes, when we know very well that the achieve the very opposite effect that we are looking to achieve. For more then 20 years I don't know why I chose to be overweight. But certainly, being overweight IS a choice. As is being fit a choice. The "comfort" that food provides is really of no comfort of all if it makes us fat and miserable. I now find it much more comforting to be fit and slim. I now look at my long term satisfaction instead of my immediate gratification. Now, I find comfort in adhering to my healthy lifestyle.

For me, I could not, or should say, WOULD not sustain a healthy lifestyle until my desire to be fit, healthy and slim OUTWEIGHED the desire for the food. I needed to get to that point. When I truly got fed up enough, THAT'S when I was WILLING to do what was necessary to make and KEEP making the choices that got me to lose the weight and now keep it off.

So when I did reach that point, that EXTREME DESIRE of wanting to be slim OVER the "food", I then made a COMMITMENT, that no matter what life threw at me - stress, boredom, loneliness, happiness, holidays, weekends, bad circumstances, not "feeling like it", parties, sadness, financial difficulties, health concerns, family upheaval, you name it - I would now stick to a healthy lifestyle. No matter what. Because I had made the commitment.

So for me, first came that extreme desire, which then prompted that ironclad commitment.

Delve down deep. Decide what you want the MOST. The very, very most. :hug:


kiramira
04-26-2009, 11:18 AM
Look at it this way. You are in a stressful situation. You've probably been in other stressful situations before. I'll bet you turned to food then. So you turn to food now. It is what you know and it is routine habitual behaviour. And if everything else seems out of control, it is NORMAL to turn to a behaviour that is comfortable and routine for you.
So don't beat yourself up over it. Just recognize it for what it is, and if youwant to change it, you can. And you've already taken the first step -- figuring out what is going on.
Kira

Onmyway
04-26-2009, 11:28 AM
I don't think I have much to add to the advice given above. I just wanted to let you know that others on the board are here to support you in whatever you choose. Weight loss is not an easy thing. But if you have the drive and determination you can make a change in your life. Best Wishes!

bobblefrog
04-26-2009, 11:43 AM
Hey you can do this! Rockinrobin is right about digging down deep - and look at how much weight she's lost so she's doing something right! I would say it also has to do a little with not just commitment but digging down deep to "find the faith, sister" (even if you have to fake it til you make it) that denying yourself the immediate gratification IS going to work in the long run. That not only is the journey worth it, but YOU are worth it. And you are. Then finally you have to learn to sit with the discomfort of the stress. Or find a new way to deal with it. I like unwanted37's suggestion but I haven't found quite that place yet. But I'm right there with you. We're even at the same place! I don't know how many times this last week something threw a curve ball at me (including the scale not budging) and I wanted a cookie or glass of wine. I'm stressed about money big time, too. Okay I managed the cookies (as they fit in my calories for the day), but I had to sit and do without the glass of wine. It was so hard. I have to admit I've spent one whole day and several half days just sort of in a dismal haze. But I believe - or keep telling myself I believe - that this like all things - "this too shall pass". Remember eating is not going to solve your stress. You're going to have to face your fears. Somewhere in there is an innerpunk chick that kicks butt when it needs to - and it wants to come out ;-) Hugs! I hope this helps! You CAN DO THIS!!!

DCHound
04-26-2009, 12:38 PM
For me, I could not, or should say, WOULD not sustain a healthy lifestyle until my desire to be fit, healthy and slim OUTWEIGHED the desire for the food. I needed to get to that point. When I truly got fed up enough, THAT'S when I was WILLING to do what was necessary to make and KEEP making the choices that got me to lose the weight and now keep it off.

That was the thing for me too. After spending my entire life fluctuating between super morbidly obese and merely overweight, I finally reached a point where I just REFUSE to be fat anymore. There's nothing I want more than to lose this weight. Nothing. So I make choices everyday inherent to this. I did the same thing in October when I quit smoking. The balance tipped and I "don't want to smoke" finally outweighed I "want to smoke" ~ and I was a heavy smoker for 27 years.

There's no magic pill unfortunately, but for me, clearly Robin, and quite a few other folks, it's a specific mental shift that occurs and your brain/mind/life changes from "I really want to lose weight" (but not doing enough to achieve this, for whatever reason) to "I AM GOING TO LOSE WEIGHT OR ELSE ~ I'M THROUGH BEING FAT FOREVER" and being willing and even happy to do whatever it takes to get there.

Hugs and good-luck mojo to you.