Weight Loss Support - People Staring




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Liliann
04-25-2009, 11:21 AM
I dread the Spring/Summer .I used to enjoy those seasons and now I get people staring and laughing. That ticks me off so much and when people realize that it is tough losing weight. I just wish people in my area understands. I don't want to be indoors, I am human and taking slow walks in my new neighborhood this year and get bad remarks from people when they see my belly. I don't want to get into deep depression again,..I'm stable and want to enjoy life,just like everyone. It is just not fair when people stare and I get laughed at. The story of my life!!!


susiemartin
04-25-2009, 11:25 AM
People can be very ignorant & cruel.

I'd just ignore them, get a headset & keep walking :smug:

Leeesa
04-25-2009, 11:26 AM
People do that really? I just don't get it, they must really be some small-minded, ignorant individuals. Not worthy of a second thought from you. You know what I say? Phooey on them, it is you who will have the last laugh, you are doing something positive and healthy for yourself, even if they don't know that, YOU know that. Nevermind them, focus on yourself and how great you are doing for getting out there, you GO girl!


Starbuck
04-25-2009, 11:35 AM
I totally get what you mean about people being cruel.

This happened to me in January. New year, new diet and everything so I went to the store to go on the weighing scales as mine were broken. Just as I was about to get on two men walked past (note men not young boys they were at least 30) and shouted "I can tell you what you are, your fat!".

Thanks very much for that (not) They really killed off my enthusiasm, and I was left thinking why do I bother.

People can be really hurtful sometimes, just try and ignore them.

Ija
04-25-2009, 11:44 AM
Buy an iPod, listen to some music as you walk, and ignore the losers. You have a right to be outside and enjoy the sunshine like everyone else!

Tracy
04-25-2009, 11:51 AM
I know how you feel.Mean people s---!:mad:Especially when they are mean at church.I came to realize it is their problem,not mine! I am also a great believer in karma.So when people are mean I just think keep it up,because it will eventually come to bite you in the a--!:smug:

Razorcandy
04-25-2009, 11:54 AM
This is part of the reason that I started taking my walks at night.

Most people are asleep or indoors so I can just relax and walk my dogs. Plus I don't need to worry about sunscreen.

Getting Right
04-25-2009, 12:01 PM
F*** em'! Stay focused and you'll get to where you wanna be! Then you'll be complaining about all the guys who are drooling over you!

luvmy3
04-25-2009, 12:06 PM
I feel the same way.Even when I can't hear what people are saying I still think they are laughing about me.I always worry about the kids at my childrens school.I don't want them to suffer because of me.Just hold your head up and keep going.One day they will be talking about how great you look and how much you've changed.Then you can have the last laugh!!!:hug:

Thighs Be Gone
04-25-2009, 12:08 PM
Getting Right is RIGHT on the money with her very first comment. Exactly.

I am staring too right now at you Liliann because I know how hard it is to get motivated and get out there and do something. I am amazed by you. Keep up your good work.

MoonGirl
04-25-2009, 12:08 PM
Uck!! Aren't some people awful!!

Smile sweetly and shame them.

;)

EZMONEY
04-25-2009, 12:11 PM
I am so sorry dear :(

It is the time of year that all of us have the right to enjoy :carrot:

We can't stop people from making fun ~ We can't stop the pain inside we feel when they do

But we can takes steps to minimize the damage by focusing on what we can do :)

We can go out and walk ~ We can pretend to ignore the comments ~ We can see the beauty out there that we deserve ~ We deserve to feel God's coolness and warmth....the sounds....the smells of spring and summer :)

You deserve all the :hug: and great advice these gals have given you...you do!

JulieJ08
04-25-2009, 12:30 PM
Just hold your head high and walk whenever your want to. They are the ones who should be embarrassed.

Ravengirl
04-25-2009, 12:51 PM
Liliann...I am so sorry you have had to deal with that... I have never understood that mentality... If someone is out doing something about their health problems...what is there to make fun of? I agree...karma is a ***** and they will definitely get theirs! In the meantime...do get an ipod and put your favorite music on it and focus on that and your breathing and how you are moving...sort of a moving meditation...soon you will be noticing all the stares again...of admiration!!! Big hugs to you...

Raven

Liliann
04-25-2009, 01:05 PM
Thank you guys!! I am ignoring those remarks..and getting on my healthy lifestyle changes. After I posted , My boyfriend Marcos called me and also cheered me up. This site is the best! and understands.

Love you all!!!!:hug::)

WhitePicketFences
04-25-2009, 01:09 PM
My god, grown adults! Yes, they are the ones who should be embarrassed ... of what rotten excuses for human beings they are. These are people nobody should want to know, anyway. I guess at least they advertise themselves as such, so you and anyone else who is decent can avoid having anything further to do with them.

newleaf123
04-25-2009, 01:34 PM
I can't tell you how sad this makes me feel, reading your post. That is just terrible, that people would make comments or laugh. Disgusting, actually. Ignore them, you are so much better than that. Just enjoy the weather and enjoy knowing that you are doing something good for yourself.

talanae
04-25-2009, 02:23 PM
Screw what other people think...all that matters is what you think about yourself. I used to care a lot about what others were thinking or saying about me until I realized what other people think about me is none of my business. I hope you don't take that the wrong way. Its their problem, not yours hun. Keep your head up and work toward your goals, you can do it!

luvmy3
04-25-2009, 02:44 PM
Lillian I didn't notice before but you are in NJ just as I am.Maybe if we are close by we could meet to walk together?

dutchgirl
04-26-2009, 08:02 AM
Lillian sweetheart,:hug:
Don't let them get to you. You are doing a good thing for yourself and you can and should be proud of yourself for it.
small-minded people will give pea-brained responses. remember they are small-minded, not worth giving your energy to.
You just use your energy for loving yourself enough to take care of yourself, body mind and spirit.
And if you need some positive feedback, just show up on 3FC and we'll be there for you!

thistoo
04-26-2009, 08:58 AM
That is a terrible feeling, and it's so hard to shake. No one should be made to feel so self-conscious that they won't leave their house to get some healthy exercise and fresh air just because they're afraid of what strangers will say. Yet it happens all the time, and it's the main reason I stopped exercising for many years and got up to my high weight.

Last summer I was on a bike ride with my sister and brother-in-law (at the time I was around 190, I guess), and a group of guys (frat-boy types, around that age) rode by in a golf cart and shouted something horrible about me. It really ruined the ride, which I was not enjoying to begin with because I feel so self-conscious on a bike to begin with. But you know, when we stopped and I said something about it to my sister, she thought they were shouting about her. All 140 pounds of her! She's just as self-conscious as I am, as it turns out.

I weigh a lot less now than when I started, but I am still too self-conscious to run in front of strangers. So on the days when I run outside, I get up at 5:30 am while it's still dark and run while the rest of the world is mostly still asleep. It's going to take a long time to shake that self-consciousness, I guess, but it hasn't stopped me, and I'm glad to see it's not stopping you either.

DCHound
04-26-2009, 11:45 AM
Y'all, there is something seriously wrong with people that make fun of other people. They do it to try to deal with their own problems. Just feel sorry for them and keep on with whatever you were doing.

TamiL
04-26-2009, 12:06 PM
It doesn't matter what we look like. There are morons like that everywhere. I gave up walking last time I lost weight because I got alot of catcalls and beeping horns. I am rather well endowed and I've always been self consious about it. This time out, I am taking it as a compliment. At 44, I could use all the attention I can still muster, LOL

I would probably get some use out of my middle digit when idiots stare! And I always remember what my mom always says, "I may be fat, but I can diet....Your stupid and nothing can fix stupid!

Keep doing what you are doing. You will feel so much better about yourself and stupid people will bother you less and less.

bobblefrog
04-26-2009, 12:41 PM
Thank you for opening this post! And some posters here are right - I remember when I was around 135 when I was in my twenties (after losing weight) I was riding my bike in my then ritzy suburban neighborhood and a bunch of guys came by in a car screaming lard-a-- at me. I didn't get back on my bike again for a long time. I really thought I was fat and of course I wasn't. People can be real jerks. That's why you gotta let your inner punkchick out! You just keep doing what you have to do for you - whether you wear earphones and listen to music or walk in the evenings. Or just hold your head up high. Hey - when I see someone doing something that takes courage I probably stare too - but because I want to go tell them how great I think they are, but I don't know if that would offend them. We live by one of those catholic monuments - a huge Jesus on the mountain. And we went one day and there was a woman doing some sort of penance climbing all of those hundreds of steps on her hands and knees. She was overweight and crying and her husband walked with her holding their babies. I was overwhelmed. I wanted to just put my hand on her shoulder for encouragement but was afraid too - I am not spanish and afraid they would be offended. I regret that. But still don't know what I should have done. Yes - I peeked look after look. But I didn't have evil thoughts behind my staring - okay????!!! So you think that at least half those people are cheering your courage okay?! They just don't know how to tell you. Big hug and you hang in there! Give yourself some time and they'll be staring at you because you're so beautiful! And that'll be the best revenge.

Smiling_Sara
04-26-2009, 12:50 PM
Arg. That makes me so mad that anyone would do something like that! Realize that anyone who does that is doing that b/c they feel the need to make themselves feel better cause they are so miserable. I'm not sure if that helps you, but I know it does to me, cause I actually feel sorry for anyone who feels the need to make fun of anyone, cause they only do it to TRY and make them feel as low as they feel. Don't let them! :hug:

CJZee
04-26-2009, 01:23 PM
If someone did that to me, I would probably smile and wave just to p*ss them off. They are expecting a bad reaction, and this puts them in the embarrassing position.

time2lose
04-26-2009, 02:19 PM
DCHound originally posted - Y'all, there is something seriously wrong with people that make fun of other people. They do it to try to deal with their own problems. Just feel sorry for them and keep on with whatever you were doing.

I think that DCHound got it right here! I think they are trying to make themselves feel better about themselves by putting other people down.

ClaudiaJ
04-26-2009, 02:23 PM
Yes, men are cruel. But I think they didn't do it on you just because you're fat or something. They do it to everyone whether you're fat, skinny, etc. Men will always find a flaw in you. So there's nothing to bother especially if you don't know them personally. Because your true friends and loved ones who matter to you won't mind your physical appearance. If there is anything you have to worry with your weight is your health.:) Stay strong and happy always.

WildThings
04-26-2009, 03:35 PM
I'm glad you are not going to let small-minded, ignorant people deter your from making improvements in your life. You are doing something that these cruel people would never have the gumption to do...making a life altering change. Loosing weight is not for the weak, they can't handle it.

ringmaster
04-26-2009, 03:51 PM
I'm in Jersey too...does this state just have a bunch of jerks or what?

I don't walk or run outside for exercise for the same reasons, so I have a treadmill where I can go all out. One time I was walking and some guys were commenting on all the girls that walked and have jiggly thighs when walking... so every since then I've been even self conscious about wearing shorts.

It's always easier said than done, to just ignore it and do what you have to do... but I think even unconsciously it effects us, and unfortunately the people that make the comments usually don't realize the impact they have when they make comments to us :(

SweetScrumptious
04-26-2009, 04:38 PM
Ugh... one of my problems too. Although, I haven't had anyone say it to my safe. But whenever I go outside to exercise, my low self-confidence kicks in and my mind tells me that those people across the street are looking at me and talking about me. It gets so bad that if I'm in a run and I see someone, I'll stop running and just start walking until they pass or are way ahead of me. Really bad for my workout routine but I am trying to work on it (was able to ignore people the other day... go me!).

That said, when it does happen, people are cruel. They just pick on someone based on their own insecurities about themselves. Like many people already said here, YOU know you are doing something right for yourself and everyone else can go screw themselves! You got our support here and no one here is going to be cruel! So always, come to us, and you know you will be safe :)

aspinchick
04-26-2009, 04:46 PM
I am no longer fat, but I am also not the thinnest in the land. I work at a gym now and I come out from teaching spin class all gross and sweaty, with plastered hair and plain, simple exercise clothes. There are a few women at the gym in expensive clothes, with fake boobs, and pretty hair who are snobs and turn their noses up at me. I now walk up to them and engage them in conversation - even muster a compliment about a part of their physique or what have you. I take them head on. And they never, ever turn their noses up at me again. I go right to the source and talk about other things - but force them to look me in the eye and make small talk. lol. Seeing them squirm = priceless.

Windchime
04-26-2009, 05:24 PM
If someone did that to me, I would probably smile and wave just to p*ss them off. They are expecting a bad reaction, and this puts them in the embarrassing position.

Oh I'd probably wave if someone shouted something mean at me, too, only I'd wave with the single-finger salute. People are so cruel. As one poster said, though, be aware that some people who are looking may be thinking things like, "Good for her, getting out and getting some sun and some exercise! Brave girl!". So put on your headphones and concentrate on doing what's best for you, and forget the boys (because they're sure not men!) who shout things out the car window. How would they feel if someone said that to their mom or sister? Idiots.

rachinma
04-27-2009, 12:52 PM
People suck.

I am really motivated when I see other people losing weight. There is a woman at my gym who has lost over 100 pounds in a year without WLS. She is an inspiration to me.

Get out there and enjoy the weather and keep up the exercise for YOUR health. **** the rest of 'em. (Oops... can I say that on here? ;) )

NightengaleShane
04-27-2009, 01:10 PM
Some people are so RUDE!

I used to have the same problem. When I first started losing weight, I'd be outside running and biking, jelly rolls and all! People would often shout things like, "HEY FATTY!," "You're FAT!," "MOOOOO COW!!!" and at first, it almost made me cry. I responded with things like, "YEAH WELL I'm DOING something about it!," and "F**K YOU! FAT people have feelings, too!"

But in the end, you are doing something good for yourself and YOU will have the last laugh once you are in better shape and healthier than they will ever be! :D

The funniest part of it all will be when obnoxious buttheads similar to those decide to hit on you once you're at goal ;)

Tomato
04-27-2009, 03:09 PM
Liliann,
I am sorry to hear it. Gary posted a wonderful message so I am just going to say "What Gary said".
Listen, the same people will stare at you again in disbelief when the weight is gone, and they will ENVY YOU.
Stick with your exercise and ignore them.
YOU ARE A WOMAN - YOU CAN DO IT!!!

beerab
04-27-2009, 05:29 PM
Oh man, see I'm confrontational about it, I would walk up to them and say "I may be fat right now, but soon I won't be, and when that happens, YOU will still be jerks" then I'd turn and walk off.

Screw them- this isn't about them- it's about you! You got a confident smile in your photo- don't let anyone take that away from you.

This is the one thing that keeps me going:

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt.

I won't let anyone make me feel inferior- you don't let them do it either! :D

kaplods
04-27-2009, 09:06 PM
Bullies thrive on insecurity. They enjoy causing pain and distress, because they can, but they're very insecure themselves. They generally attack from the safety of a vehicle, or a pack of friends they're showing off for, and they rely on the fact that most people are going to avoid eye contact and skulk away.

I don't. Generally, I don't react with anger (that's too obvious, and may even be the reaction they wanted). Rather, I react with my own laughter and mild contempt. If they shout "you're fat," or something equally brilliant, I look them in the eye, laugh and say something like "Wow, did you figure that out all by yourself, or did you have help, Genius?" Or, "Yeah, and you're an idiot, so what?" Or even just stop and stare at them with the "what kind of idiot are you, anyway?" expression.

At first, I had to fake it. I didn't feel as confident as I acted, but I acted confident anyway. I have a RIGHT to be on this planet, and a right to be in public without being harassed.

It is difficult, because a desire for social approval is hard-wired into us, but we have to remember intentionally cruel people are the minority. They're sad, twisted little beasties who can only feel something resembling self confidence by making someone else feel inferior. It's pretty easy to take that away from them (as long as alcohol isn't involved - I don't confront drunks, because while bullies are cowards, alcohol can give an idiot a false sense of security).

I also have to be aware of whether people are truly staring, or whether it's my own paranoia. My husband and I are both large and outspoken, people do sometimes stare, because we naturally stand out. Even though it may be rude, it isn't always malicious. When I first bought my bicycle and started riding around the neighborhood, I know I looked ridiculous. I don't know any of the neighbors (we're in a modest apartment building among swanky homes on the lake). I started waving and smiling, even though I was sure they were all laughing their butts off, at the sight of me. Maybe they were, but they smiled and waved back, and it looked friendly, so I let myself believe it was friendly. I started imagining them saying positive things.

My weight and my health issues (which are all aggravated, if not caused by my weight issues) stop me from doing a lot of things, but I refuse to let it stop me from doing anything that it doesn't actually stop me from doing (with the exception of wearing anything sleeveless - except in the water).

I LOVE swimming, and I just refuse to let anyone make me feel that I can't or shouldn't. I know I may not be fun to look at, and that's ok. What isn't ok is treating me like I don't have a right to exist.

Ookpik
04-27-2009, 09:11 PM
I've had a couple of instances where I've been made fun of when out exercising. I was walking my friend's dog one time, headphones on, when I walked past a house with a couple of drunks outside and they started yelling at me. I had the music on, and I don't really know what they were saying, but it did give me an uncomfortable feeling and I knew it was negative. I just walked past and tried to ignore them.

I was also doing "Couch to 5K" one time last year, when the directive to run came up. I was walking past a bunch of kids on bikes, and when I started to run, I noticed some of the kids start to laugh. I just said, "what, never seen someone jog before?" and went on my way.

I don't often get negative reactions from people seeing me exercise, but I think if someone drove by yelling obscenities while I was out jogging, my first instinct would be to yell, "why don't you get off your lazy *** and join me, ****er?"

I know it can be hard, but you are doing something awesome for yourself and you should be proud. I'm with the rest, just try to ignore them.

ac95srq
04-28-2009, 12:00 AM
Wow, you girls are very inspiring! I live in a beach town and this is the first season since I had my children (my oldest is 10) that I actually bought a bathingsuit and started enjoying the beach. Yeah, I get stares, and the tiny big fake boobed girls sometimes stare and snicker, but I try to ignore them. It also helps that I go to the beach with my kids and a couple of friends and we are all heavy and losing weight, so we're each other's support. I hope with time I can become stronger and not care about what people think but it's so hard sometimes. thanks for the inspiration!

harrismm
04-28-2009, 12:46 AM
Wow.How cruel.When I see an overweight individual working out, walking, biking...I always smile thinking "good for them".I just dont understand why it makes people feel better to make someone feel bad.I am glad your last post sounded like you are in a happier place.

amy180
04-28-2009, 02:07 AM
I know what you mean. Just this past week here it's gotten up to the 70s and 80s, and I was actually bummed about this because it means I can't comfortably wear a hundred layers of clothing and hide under it all, and more people will be out when I'm walking (walking is my main form of exercise, always has been). People suck, we just need to stay positive though and know we are trying to do good things for ourselves. You can only hope that someday, karma will bite them in the butt.

People can be very ignorant & cruel.

I'd just ignore them, get a headset & keep walking
This. This is why I wear headphones when I go walking, so I can be blissfully oblivious to everything around me.

This is part of the reason that I started taking my walks at night.

Most people are asleep or indoors so I can just relax and walk my dogs. Plus I don't need to worry about sunscreen.
This too. I usually walk in the evening or after dark because I am less self-conscious and there are fewer people out. When I can, I take my parents' dog. The dog hates everybody, so no one gets close enough for me to hear what they are saying, ha. (It doesn't bite or anything, but it growls).
I used to have the same problem. When I first started losing weight, I'd be outside running and biking, jelly rolls and all! People would often shout things like, "HEY FATTY!," "You're FAT!," "MOOOOO COW!!!" and at first, it almost made me cry. I responded with things like, "YEAH WELL I'm DOING something about it!," and "F**K YOU! FAT people have feelings, too!"
Yes, people are just judgmental and RUDE. If you're at McDonald's eating a burger, they'd be telling you to go outside and jog. If you're outside and jogging, they'll shout "it's not working!" or something stupid like that. I don't know why people have to go around putting others down all the time, it really makes me lose faith in a large portion of humanity. On the other hand, it makes me glad I will never put another person down because of their weight, and it makes me want to support and encourage people even more. You just have to ignore the idiots, they are the insecure ones.

littlejojo
04-28-2009, 02:09 AM
I totally agree with the comments so far - it's their problem NOT yours. We can change our bodies but can their change their stupid attitudes??? probably not!

beerab
04-28-2009, 12:12 PM
Wow, you girls are very inspiring! I live in a beach town and this is the first season since I had my children (my oldest is 10) that I actually bought a bathingsuit and started enjoying the beach. Yeah, I get stares, and the tiny big fake boobed girls sometimes stare and snicker, but I try to ignore them. It also helps that I go to the beach with my kids and a couple of friends and we are all heavy and losing weight, so we're each other's support. I hope with time I can become stronger and not care about what people think but it's so hard sometimes. thanks for the inspiration!

lol and worst case scenario I bet you guys could kick those girls butts. I remember one time reading about these two skinny girls who were taunting these two overweight girls at the beach. Well they thought nothing of it and later when they went to the bathroom the two overweight girls jumped them and took their bathing suits :lol:

I don't condone violence but the two girls weren't hurt- just humiliated lol. I bet they never made fun of an overweight person after that.

JulieJ08
04-28-2009, 12:30 PM
lol and worst case scenario I bet you guys could kick those girls butts. I remember one time reading about these two skinny girls who were taunting these two overweight girls at the beach. Well they thought nothing of it and later when they went to the bathroom the two overweight girls jumped them and took their bathing suits :lol:

I don't condone violence but the two girls weren't hurt- just humiliated lol. I bet they never made fun of an overweight person after that.

I bet they did. I bet they were just more careful, and even more nasty in their attitude.

Jacquie668
04-28-2009, 12:40 PM
I never understood adults who terrorize other adults. It just seems so...strange to me. I've experienced my share of smirks and laughter, always behind my back of course as people don't tend to stand right up in front of you and say their piece. No no, they wait until your back is turned, or they drive by, they don't just stand there and face you down.

I do remember at my heaviest weight hearing a small grouping of young hooligans laughing and I knew it was at me. So, I turned around and faced them and smiled and gave them a look of "what was that?" They ran away so fast that I was sure they would plow someone over in their haste to escape. lol

Just recently I was walking out of the produce market with my boyfriend and this insane woman tried to run me down! I mean she slows down and we were walking across the way to our car and she starts inching forward and trying to bump me with her car. She was making these gestures like the reason why I was walking at a normal pace was because of my weight. Of course she was making some huffy comments as well, some weight related. I turned to face her and said loud enough for everyone around me to hear how rude and uncivilized she was and how she is going to get herself or others killed if she continued her unsafe and horrid behavior. People were shaking their heads at her. She got quiet after that and sat back and waited for us to cross. Then as soon as we were cleared she put on the gas and ZOOMED into a parking spot, almost crashing into another car! I heard someone else making a comment to her and saw her standing around kind of embarrassed as she saw people shaking their heads and staring at her.

Turn it around on them or kill them with smiles. Though I have to admit stealing their bathing suits is good fun. Do that too. :D

Jeanie912
04-28-2009, 02:14 PM
Wow, I can't believe people say things like that! Honestly, I have never encountered that kind of thing, thank goodness. Family members have made comments about my weight, but not malicious, hateful comments or anything, just commenting on me gaining the weight back during my pregnancies. I have a gym membership, so I go there to work out. The people there either don't pay any attention to me or are very friendy. I just can't fathom how uncivilized some people are and how insecure they have to be to make those comments to begin with.

I'm sorry you ladies have had to deal with idiots like that. Forget them, they are losers and their opinions don't matter. Just keep puching along. Then when you reach your goals and become vibrant, heatlhy, attractive women and they want to give you the time of day, don't give it to them.

ceal2000
04-28-2009, 03:04 PM
For some reason, some people feel that making fun of others is acceptable, I believe that the best revenge is living well, and of course I also believe that letting them know what big idiots they are is also acceptable!
:D

ac95srq
04-28-2009, 05:44 PM
lol and worst case scenario I bet you guys could kick those girls butts. I remember one time reading about these two skinny girls who were taunting these two overweight girls at the beach. Well they thought nothing of it and later when they went to the bathroom the two overweight girls jumped them and took their bathing suits :lol:

I don't condone violence but the two girls weren't hurt- just humiliated lol. I bet they never made fun of an overweight person after that.

It's crossed our minds! I don't condone violence either but sometimes people make you do things like that!

megwini
06-11-2009, 11:53 PM
People like that really deserve to just be hit. I saw a really overweight guy on my college campus, probably weighing like 350 pounds at least, walking around with headphones a lot. I always smiled to myself and thought, "Good for him!" Never in the world would I have ever CRITISIED him for making a positive change in his life.

You know what I think? You know why I think the men do it? Why they taunt and tease us for trying to get healthy? BECAUSE THEY'RE AFRAID THAT WE JUST MIGHT ACTUALLY ACCOMPLISH SOMETHING. Then we'd be better than them. They'd rather feel unintimidated and keep you down than have to deal with the thought that you might actually succeed.

By the way, newleaf123, I really liked your signature format and copied it. I hope you don't mind. It takes up far less space!

kitchencurtains3
06-12-2009, 02:37 AM
You know they're showing off how "brave" they are to each other rather than it having anything to do with you... guys always do that sort of thing in hordes. They are cowardly. I agree with all the other posters -- ignore them.

Samantha100
06-12-2009, 05:48 AM
Most people find fault in others to try and boost their own egos and minimize their own shortcomings. What's important is how you feel about yourself. If you are exercising, watching your diet and making improvements in yourself, then you should feel pretty darned good about yourself. We have created a culture in America where anyone that isn't pretty, skinny, and young somehow isn't worthy.

losermom
06-12-2009, 07:25 AM
DH & I are on w6 of the c25k program. On about w1/w2 we were running and a group of guys, who were having drinks in their backyard, yelled at us, "Run, Forest, Run!" I ignored them, but DH turned, smiled and waved. That shut them up. Others make comments like, "Keep going!" or some other supportive comment. We live in an older neighborhood with lots of families, with kids and dogs, that are outside in the evening when we go out to walk/run.

On a lighter note, early this Spring I was walking my dog one afternoon. Now mind you my dog is adorable (probably because she's mine and we love her) and it's hard to tell what kind of dog she is because she's a mutt. She is part Beagle, but bigger, a Giant Beagle if you will. Anyway, she and I are walking along, and a group of teenage boys yell out their car window, "I really like your dog!"

dragonwoman64
06-12-2009, 08:43 AM
I (now) would have given those guys a word back, but in Brooklyn we use something stronger than jerk (heh heh).

I used to walk every day in my neighborhood. I was so shy and self conscious. People DO notice in a good way, but may be afraid to say anything. One day a guy I used to go past all the time actually complimented me on losing weight (!). I've had a couple of people say things to me at the gym too.

It's unfortunate (to put it mildly) that the jerky comments are so loud, and the cheers may go unsaid, so you may have to put their voices in your head, like: great job! good for you! and know that many, many people (many more than the thoughtless nincompoops who yell) are wishing you well in all your efforts.

LuvMyMr
06-12-2009, 12:20 PM
I am so sorry to hear this!!! You have a right to be out walking like everyone else! How ignorant are these people! I do understand the embarassment as I went through it too but please do not let anyone deter you from enjoying the fresh outdoors. I live in Florida and it's nice and sunny after having so much rain. I intitially started walking at night because I didn't want people to see me out walking. I was watching one of Oprah's weight loss shows and one woman said she was out walking one day and some idiots boys threw a bottle at her! So she took to walking in a graveyard. People can be so stupid. It really makes me angry. I agree about an Ipod or mp3 player. It also makes the time go by faster and more enjoyable with your favorite music playing in your ear. :) Good luck and God bless. Keep on trucking and I am pulling for ya. ;)

saef
06-12-2009, 01:17 PM
This post & the fears expressed by so many here make me want to cry.

Damn it, it's our elemental right as a human beings to be able to move about freely in the world. We have every right to public thoroughfares. I just hate that we would shrink from taking our place alongside all the other people out there.

My other thought was: Haven't you noticed that other walkers & runners NEVER yell things at others who are out getting a little exercise?

A friend of mine who runs in the evenings because of his schedule says when he's driving to work in the early morning & sees other runners, he actually feels envious of them (because he's got to go to his job, rather than putting in a few miles on a gorgeous spring/summer/fall/winter morning) & slightly guilty for not being out himself. But he'd never dream of calling out anything derogatory. He's been out there himself, sweating & grimacing. He knows what physical effort looks like.

So I'm willing to bet it's generally the people who DON'T exercise (and are also idiots) who are saying these things.

But we do have to be careful that we don't interpret neutral or even positive people as harboring negative feelings toward us. During my two-year weight loss journey, I often ran in a park that stretched along the Bronx River. (I still do sometimes, when my feet are up to it & the weather's good.) I live in a heavily populated area, but still, I began to recognize the people that I habitually passed. (Well, that's a lie -- first I recognized their dogs, and then I began recognizing the people.) There was a very athletic-looking woman out walking a small, hyper dog whom I often nodded to. I envied her fit-looking body. I felt a little embarrassed at my unfitness whenever I saw her.

One day, maybe about 14 months into my efforts, she called out to me & said, "I just want to tell you what a great job you're doing. You look fantastic!"

This, coming from a stranger, someone I just nodded to occasionally, maybe once a month or so. The glow I got from that compliment lasted for days. You can tell by my recounting it here that it's still enshrined someplace special in my memory.

One of my goals is to pass that compliment on to someone else. I see a lot of people out walking & running now that the summer's here, and I hope I can soon say those exact words quite sincerely to someone else who's out there, getting the work done.