Lighten Up! - Lie to me.

We all know losing weight and getting healthy is hard work and there are a lot of myths and crazy notions out there that need to be dispelled. But just this once, wouldn't it be nice if people just lied to you about it? Let you think for a few brief moments that losing weight was as easy (easier!) as putting it on? That all that diet food is just the yummiest stuff ever?

We know we can't lie to ourselves any more -- not if we're serious about changing. But we can spend a few moments on this thread just thinking....what if????

I'll start...One slice of chocolate cake will make you instantly lose 10 lbs and make your butt look smaller! It's true! I read it here on the Intranets!

Next...

three cheesecake pies will help shed the pounds and you'll feel tone in less than one day ! i saw it on the newspaper.

I saw on Fox News last night that if you eat only pizza 3 meals a day every day then you will lose 2 lbs per day! I'm starting tomorrow!

haha typical fox news. :D


I read that Jillian Michaels recommends 4 hours per day of watching scrubs reruns as a guaranteed method of weight loss. the average person using her method loses around 7 lbs per week. I'm so trying this one.

Someone told me that eating french fries ( preferably Dutch style, with mayonaise or satay sauce) at least once daily will get rid of your tummy bulge and give you the perfect six-pack!
She read it in a healthy eating magazine

i heard on an info mercial that we gorge ourselves and binge it kick starts our metabolism and allows us to shed the pounds away!:carrot:

I read on the internets that typing is a strenuous exercise that counts as cardio. With all my typing, I should slim down easily in a week!

I heard that the best way to lose weight is to drink your calories, and because you need calcium, milk is the best way to do this, but doesn't have enough calories in itself. Their recommendation? White Russians all around! You can even mix things up, trying a potato vodka or a buffalo grass, so you keep things interesting. You'll lose over 30 lbs in a month on this diet and you'll be the life of the party!

Omg, I just heard someone say that if you eat only carbs all day long everyday with plenty of candy bar snacks that you'll lose 10 pounds in a week. It's the newest fad. Something about candy bars metabolizing faster than veggies...who knew?

Also, I heard that if you touch a skinny person after eating, all those calories go to them. :p

Also, I heard that if you touch a skinny person after eating, all those calories go to them. :p

Love it!! :rofl:

I hear that Buckets of KFC are fat free on Tuesdays during a full moon.

To quote Terry Pratchett

A chocolate you did not want to eat does not count as a chocolate. This discovery is from the same branch of culinary physics that determined that food eaten whilst walking contains no calories.

You only need 4 hours of sleep a night to be energized and healthy.

I saw on Fox News last night that if you eat only pizza 3 meals a day every day then you will lose 2 lbs per day! I'm starting tomorrow!

Somehow, I don't see it happening..

I heard on E! That all you need to do is run on the treadmill for 5 minutes once a week and you will look like Cindy Crawford.

Getting a full body massage on a daily basis will tone your muscles and shrink your fat.

Also, I heard that if you touch a skinny person after eating, all those calories go to them. :p

Why can't this one be true?!?

Quantum theory suggests that if one does not observe their food whilst eating it, there is a 50% chance that the calories do not exist.

I'm getting my blindfold. :D

Quantum theory suggests that if one does not observe their food whilst eating it, there is a 50% chance that the calories do not exist.

I'm getting my blindfold. :D

hahahahhahahah!!!!! Great one!:carrot::carrot:

I'm dying laughing right now!

I heard on tv one time that if you indulge, soon you'll see no more bulge =]

-if you eat off someone else's plate the calories don't count as they are intended for someone else
-If you break a candy bar in half all the calories fall out
-Stick your food up on top of the fridge, calories are afraid of heights and will jump off to save themselves.

side bar- I'm a waitress, and whenever people are debating over whether or not to get dessert, I always chime in with we don't serve anything with fat or calories here

haha typical fox news. :D


I read that Jillian Michaels recommends 4 hours per day of watching scrubs reruns as a guaranteed method of weight loss. the average person using her method loses around 7 lbs per week. I'm so trying this one.

I tried this and it didn't work. :?: That I saw I missed the part where you have to have a chocolate snack with every episode to melt the pounds away. I'll let you know how it goes. :dizzy:

On vacation, there are no calories or fat grams!

I just read in a diet magazine that if you eat with your eyes closed then the calories don't count.

Apparently studies were wrong, lettuce makes you fat. That's why we're all having issues losing weight

Dark foods (e.g. chocolate, steak) absorb energy as they pass through your system and provide a net calorie deficit!

Lol, these are great. I'd just like to say with all this awesome health info yall are providing I just realized my scale lies! As it turns out, with all this info, I'm UNDER weight! Oh my!

What if you could go to bed fat and wake up thin ? I'd sign up for that one.

Yesterday night suddenly my butts and cheeks interchanghed places. Now, i look so very beautiful. Fox news channel is coming to my place to take my interview. I will tell whole world how i manage to do that. So, do not miss the interview.

I heard on Tyra that if the package has no nutrition information then is has no calories (I will be living at the corner bakery!!!!!)

If you break a cookie into smaller pieces all of the calories escape before you eat it - my manager told me so!

If you go on vacation and eat your way through it, you actually end up loosing weight because the food there has less calories than the same food at home!

I learned in a seminar that any food snacked on during studying is instantly metabolized because your brain is working so hard!

If you tell your body not to gain weight as you eat, it won't. c:

I hear that Buckets of KFC are fat free on Tuesdays during a full moon.

Hahahahaha

I read in the Journal of Medicine that chocolate M&M's kick start metabolism and in a double blind study those who consumed the most M&M's lost about 50 pounds in 3 months.
The AMA now recommends Chocolate M&M's as part of a healthy diet!

Hey, I heard on this very site that some foods not only don't have any calories (meaning 0; zippo), but some even have -negative calories. Here's the theory: foods of low calories with lots of fiber and water take so much energy to eat, they end up - calories ... :lol:

Which ones? Mostly crunchy raw veggies like celery, carrots, broccoli, cauliflower, cukes, and other salad stuff. Not only that, but if you eat them with other foods (even starchy ones), they will wipe out the calories you ate. :D


PLus, I heard the same thing about FIBER ... ;)

I read in Women's Health that eating all things chocolate greatly reduce the appearance of stretch marks. That is JUST what the doctor ordered! Chocolate for everyone!

If you break a cookie into smaller pieces all of the calories escape before you eat it - my manager told me so!

I cannot stop laughing lol!

Noodles with holes in the middle (anything in a tube, like macaroni, or rigatoni) are actually little black holes, so all the calories from sauces and pastas get sucked into there and not absorbed. Likewise, once the noodles are in your body, they will suck all your fat away as well.

Vive la macaroni and cheese! :devil:

Did you know, you burn over 2,000 calories by playing video games? The continuous thumb moments isolate and trigger a rapid burning point in your cardiovascular system. Nothing but fat is eliminated for the 8 hours you spend trying to kill the zombies. No joke, read that on the internet, and we all know... if it's on the internet it HAS to be true.