Lighten Up! - Lie to me.




View Full Version : Lie to me.


OneLass777
04-24-2009, 08:35 PM
We all know losing weight and getting healthy is hard work and there are a lot of myths and crazy notions out there that need to be dispelled. But just this once, wouldn't it be nice if people just lied to you about it? Let you think for a few brief moments that losing weight was as easy (easier!) as putting it on? That all that diet food is just the yummiest stuff ever?

We know we can't lie to ourselves any more -- not if we're serious about changing. But we can spend a few moments on this thread just thinking....what if????

I'll start...One slice of chocolate cake will make you instantly lose 10 lbs and make your butt look smaller! It's true! I read it here on the Intranets!

Next...


bunniix
04-26-2009, 07:46 PM
three cheesecake pies will help shed the pounds and you'll feel tone in less than one day ! i saw it on the newspaper.

Crazy4Kenny
04-26-2009, 07:52 PM
I saw on Fox News last night that if you eat only pizza 3 meals a day every day then you will lose 2 lbs per day! I'm starting tomorrow!


lizziep
04-27-2009, 09:29 PM
haha typical fox news. :D


I read that Jillian Michaels recommends 4 hours per day of watching scrubs reruns as a guaranteed method of weight loss. the average person using her method loses around 7 lbs per week. I'm so trying this one.

dutchgirl
04-28-2009, 11:39 AM
Someone told me that eating french fries ( preferably Dutch style, with mayonaise or satay sauce) at least once daily will get rid of your tummy bulge and give you the perfect six-pack!
She read it in a healthy eating magazine

jessica2231
05-10-2011, 03:59 PM
i heard on an info mercial that we gorge ourselves and binge it kick starts our metabolism and allows us to shed the pounds away!:carrot:

Lovely
05-10-2011, 04:05 PM
I read on the internets that typing is a strenuous exercise that counts as cardio. With all my typing, I should slim down easily in a week!

Ferumbras
05-10-2011, 04:53 PM
I heard that the best way to lose weight is to drink your calories, and because you need calcium, milk is the best way to do this, but doesn't have enough calories in itself. Their recommendation? White Russians all around! You can even mix things up, trying a potato vodka or a buffalo grass, so you keep things interesting. You'll lose over 30 lbs in a month on this diet and you'll be the life of the party!

fatferretfanatic
05-10-2011, 05:02 PM
Omg, I just heard someone say that if you eat only carbs all day long everyday with plenty of candy bar snacks that you'll lose 10 pounds in a week. It's the newest fad. Something about candy bars metabolizing faster than veggies...who knew?

Also, I heard that if you touch a skinny person after eating, all those calories go to them. :p

Ferumbras
05-10-2011, 05:05 PM
Also, I heard that if you touch a skinny person after eating, all those calories go to them. :p

Love it!! :rofl:

IAteIt
05-12-2011, 12:06 PM
I hear that Buckets of KFC are fat free on Tuesdays during a full moon.

puzzledpenguin
05-12-2011, 12:33 PM
To quote Terry Pratchett

A chocolate you did not want to eat does not count as a chocolate. This discovery is from the same branch of culinary physics that determined that food eaten whilst walking contains no calories.

Amberelise
05-12-2011, 12:37 PM
You only need 4 hours of sleep a night to be energized and healthy.

ThinJessica
05-30-2011, 04:11 PM
I saw on Fox News last night that if you eat only pizza 3 meals a day every day then you will lose 2 lbs per day! I'm starting tomorrow!

Somehow, I don't see it happening..

ryeb
05-30-2011, 04:27 PM
I heard on E! That all you need to do is run on the treadmill for 5 minutes once a week and you will look like Cindy Crawford.

SCraver
05-31-2011, 04:35 PM
Getting a full body massage on a daily basis will tone your muscles and shrink your fat.

dragonlady1978
05-31-2011, 04:40 PM
Also, I heard that if you touch a skinny person after eating, all those calories go to them. :p

Why can't this one be true?!?

bama girl
05-31-2011, 04:46 PM
Quantum theory suggests that if one does not observe their food whilst eating it, there is a 50% chance that the calories do not exist.

I'm getting my blindfold. :D

jessica2231
06-02-2011, 02:31 PM
Quantum theory suggests that if one does not observe their food whilst eating it, there is a 50% chance that the calories do not exist.

I'm getting my blindfold. :D

hahahahhahahah!!!!! Great one!:carrot::carrot:

keller237
06-20-2011, 06:36 PM
I'm dying laughing right now!

I heard on tv one time that if you indulge, soon you'll see no more bulge =]

willowtree17
06-20-2011, 06:46 PM
-if you eat off someone else's plate the calories don't count as they are intended for someone else
-If you break a candy bar in half all the calories fall out
-Stick your food up on top of the fridge, calories are afraid of heights and will jump off to save themselves.

side bar- I'm a waitress, and whenever people are debating over whether or not to get dessert, I always chime in with we don't serve anything with fat or calories here

CrystalZ10
06-21-2011, 06:32 AM
haha typical fox news. :D


I read that Jillian Michaels recommends 4 hours per day of watching scrubs reruns as a guaranteed method of weight loss. the average person using her method loses around 7 lbs per week. I'm so trying this one.

I tried this and it didn't work. :?: That I saw I missed the part where you have to have a chocolate snack with every episode to melt the pounds away. I'll let you know how it goes. :dizzy:

atagirl
06-23-2011, 07:09 AM
On vacation, there are no calories or fat grams!

butterflymama
06-25-2011, 10:46 AM
I just read in a diet magazine that if you eat with your eyes closed then the calories don't count.

ADL
07-30-2011, 01:42 AM
Apparently studies were wrong, lettuce makes you fat. That's why we're all having issues losing weight

yoyoma
07-30-2011, 08:08 AM
Dark foods (e.g. chocolate, steak) absorb energy as they pass through your system and provide a net calorie deficit!

ButterCup85
07-30-2011, 09:09 AM
Lol, these are great. I'd just like to say with all this awesome health info yall are providing I just realized my scale lies! As it turns out, with all this info, I'm UNDER weight! Oh my!

bargoo
07-30-2011, 09:44 AM
What if you could go to bed fat and wake up thin ? I'd sign up for that one.

puneri
08-05-2011, 02:08 PM
Yesterday night suddenly my butts and cheeks interchanghed places. Now, i look so very beautiful. Fox news channel is coming to my place to take my interview. I will tell whole world how i manage to do that. So, do not miss the interview.

wagfam
08-05-2011, 02:30 PM
I heard on Tyra that if the package has no nutrition information then is has no calories (I will be living at the corner bakery!!!!!)

audri8301
08-05-2011, 02:37 PM
If you break a cookie into smaller pieces all of the calories escape before you eat it - my manager told me so!

green chick
08-06-2011, 12:59 AM
If you go on vacation and eat your way through it, you actually end up loosing weight because the food there has less calories than the same food at home!

Bethedee
09-15-2011, 12:31 PM
I learned in a seminar that any food snacked on during studying is instantly metabolized because your brain is working so hard!

Peachy Pie
10-03-2011, 05:43 AM
If you tell your body not to gain weight as you eat, it won't. c:

Rhiannon27
10-03-2011, 06:15 PM
I hear that Buckets of KFC are fat free on Tuesdays during a full moon.

Hahahahaha

mzKiki
10-04-2011, 06:19 PM
I read in the Journal of Medicine that chocolate M&M's kick start metabolism and in a double blind study those who consumed the most M&M's lost about 50 pounds in 3 months.
The AMA now recommends Chocolate M&M's as part of a healthy diet!

Justwant2Bhealthy
10-08-2011, 08:36 PM
Hey, I heard on this very site that some foods not only don't have any calories (meaning 0; zippo), but some even have -negative calories. Here's the theory: foods of low calories with lots of fiber and water take so much energy to eat, they end up - calories ... :lol:

Which ones? Mostly crunchy raw veggies like celery, carrots, broccoli, cauliflower, cukes, and other salad stuff. Not only that, but if you eat them with other foods (even starchy ones), they will wipe out the calories you ate. :D


PLus, I heard the same thing about FIBER ... ;)

Sunshinenmysoul
10-08-2011, 09:12 PM
I read in Women's Health that eating all things chocolate greatly reduce the appearance of stretch marks. That is JUST what the doctor ordered! Chocolate for everyone!

Sunshinenmysoul
10-08-2011, 09:13 PM
If you break a cookie into smaller pieces all of the calories escape before you eat it - my manager told me so!

I cannot stop laughing lol!

littlebiskit
11-10-2011, 11:03 PM
Noodles with holes in the middle (anything in a tube, like macaroni, or rigatoni) are actually little black holes, so all the calories from sauces and pastas get sucked into there and not absorbed. Likewise, once the noodles are in your body, they will suck all your fat away as well.

Vive la macaroni and cheese! :devil:

Zombie latte
01-26-2012, 06:32 AM
Did you know, you burn over 2,000 calories by playing video games? The continuous thumb moments isolate and trigger a rapid burning point in your cardiovascular system. Nothing but fat is eliminated for the 8 hours you spend trying to kill the zombies. No joke, read that on the internet, and we all know... if it's on the internet it HAS to be true.

free1
02-18-2012, 04:29 PM
My trainer told me that soda neutralizes the calories in cheesecake.

marmar09
02-18-2012, 10:47 PM
Oprah said fries and buffalo wings on the weekends actually have negative calories.

Patience4
04-24-2012, 05:04 PM
Pizza is a vegetable and ice cream is calcium.

Charmed7
05-02-2012, 12:37 PM
My grandmother told me that if you stand while you eat, you are burning the calories while you consume them, so no weight gain at all!

And she was a twig!

Loving the White Russian idea.... :devil:

Pepino
05-03-2012, 12:18 AM
Apparently studies were wrong, lettuce makes you fat. That's why we're all having issues losing weight

Bahaha I love this one!

Oh and my old stand by, if I stand on my head, all the fat will slide out of my love handles and belly and into my boobs and stick there.

And for all you ladies that already have large chests...you actually just need to stand on your heads a little longer and the fat will slide into your hair follicules and you'll have fuller, thicker, shinier hair.

It's true! A friend of a friend of a friend did it and it worked.

mariposssa
05-03-2012, 01:54 AM
As long as you only eat foods that start with the same letter you will never gain weight. Choose your own letter. I pick C...for chocolate, cheesecake, cashews, cheese, calzones, Chinese food, croissants, crescent rolls and cookies. I heard some people change the letter every week and just eat their way through the alphabet. Keeps your body guessing and the diet is always fresh.

DezziePS
05-03-2012, 11:20 AM
This thread reminded me of this thing a bunch of people were posting on FB a while ago, I thought it was cute:

I figured out why I'm so fat. The shampoo I use in the shower that runs down my body says, "For extra volume and body." I am going to start using Dawn dishwashing soap. It says, "dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove

reallystruggling
05-06-2012, 04:03 AM
I heard that if you scarf your food down, they wont count because it loses all its calories going down so fast!!!

MAKE THOSE CALORIES RUN!!

RandomPaige
05-12-2012, 05:48 PM
My mom always ate her candy bars frozen because "freezing kills the calories" as if they were germs or something.

Rhiko
04-09-2013, 05:12 AM
I heard that if you scarf your food down, they wont count because it loses all its calories going down so fast!!!

MAKE THOSE CALORIES RUN!!

Hahaha, I love it!
-

I saw on the television that if you eat McDonald's every meal, every day that you will loss weight so fast and be healthier than someone who works out every day!

Precious Little
04-27-2013, 08:41 PM
I can't believe no one has mentioned the Half the Calories Diet.

If you take a bit of cake and cut it in half then it’s only half the calories.

And because it’s only half the calories you can have twice as much! (Marjorie Dawes, FatFighters)

It's true, I saw it on Little Britain!

http://ukcomedyquotes.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/marjorie-dawes.jpg

CurvyReadhead
04-29-2013, 10:49 AM
I heard the coffeine in coffee speeds up your metabolism to the speed of light. So all we need to do is drink a litre of coffee a day (with full-cream milk and sugar) to get slim. Also, exercising too much will kill your effort, so slow it down, ladies. Weight training once a week is all it takes to get that shakira booty.

PreciousMissy
05-03-2013, 06:26 PM
I can't remember where I heard this...Dr. Oz maybe. You should leave a bite of food on your plate during every meal. All the calories remain in the last bite.

cheeriloos
08-16-2013, 03:02 PM
Confuscious Say:The more you exercise the shorter your life, each person was only alotted so many heartbeats for their entire life, when you work out you are shortening your life and using up your beats..stay away from the gym and use your beats wisely