Weight Loss Support - lost nearly 80 pounds, devasted :(




RedKat
04-16-2009, 08:00 AM
Hi to everyone...

First of all, I don't want to sound like a whiner, I know what I've accomplished is fantastic, I am healthier...waaaay healthier, and I know I look better, but after this struggle I can't help but be disappointed. I am now at 119 pounds, I cannot lose mush else, my doc said that most of what's left is loose skin and that maybe a few more pounds can come off but that will be it. My back is awful. I expected the extra stomach skin, although I have to admit I didn't think it would be this much, but the folds in my back along with the stomach still make me look extremely overweight. I still have to wear baggy shirts and when I bend, twist, the folds poke out just like they did when I was 197 pounds. I have lifted weights/toned the whole journey to help avoid this. I guess I envisioned myself looking better than this. I'm just having a bad morning, I know that for the most part I should be proud. I cannot have the surgery, nor do I reallly want to, I have a daughter to raise who will need the money moreso than I do. Guess I just needed to whine for a minute :(


Rosinante
04-16-2009, 08:33 AM
Congratulations!
Hugs!
I once got to about the same (I'm kind of estimating 136 at 5'2" to be about the same, a bit more maybe) I was also disappointed.

How long has it taken you? It might well be that things need time to redistribute themselves. Obviously I didn't mean skin but maybe what's underneath?

Still congratulations!

nanj
04-16-2009, 08:36 AM
First, I want to congratulate you on your wonderful, wonderful weight loss. I know what you are going through........Give your skin sometime to catch up with your weight loss. Of course, most skin, when it is stretched to its limit won't be that of a supermodel, but with exercise, and you look relatively young, will tighten up some. I try very hard to think about how healthy I am now, but do pine for the days when I was able to wear short sleeved shirts and when my skin didn't mushroom over the top of my pants. You are not a whiner. You sound very normal to me. Good luck to you my dear.


LittleMoonRabbit
04-16-2009, 08:41 AM
Like others have said, big congrats to you!!! You should be very proud. I know loose skin is an issue for lots of people on here. I think if you continue to do more toning exercises, you might be able to at least tighten things up a little more. I have heard that months after reaching goal, your body is still adjusting/ redistributing. Either way, I am sure you look beautiful! maybe it will be a matter of finding more structured clothing that won't "settle" into the skin so much.

bindersbee
04-16-2009, 08:56 AM
Whine away girl because that just plain sucks! To work so hard and not feel like your body really reflects all it has accomplished as well as it could IS hard. I'm scared that I'll be in that same boat as well.

How much does the surgery cost anyway? I'm a little scared to ask but curious nonetheless since it's entirely possible I'll have to do it too. There's always a way to make what you want happen, the weight loss SEEMED impossible in the beginning too and look what you've done! I don't know how you'll find the way to do it but start looking into it and asking questions. There IS a way if you really want it, you just have to get creative and persistent to figure it out. Good luck to you.

Aldebaran
04-16-2009, 09:14 AM
My dear Ladies, all of you!

I came here to whine first, about how I cannot get myself to be disciplined (I just ate a whole pizza), but when I read this thread, I didn't feel like it anymore.

We, women, are way too obsessed with details that guys don't even notice. And let's not start being dishonest here about why we really want to loose weight :) in the end it's all about the ancient polarity that has kept this species going for millennia...

I was 243 five years ago, now I am 172, and still not nearly happy with myself, but when I go out, I flirt my eyes out, and guys don't even notice my fat arms that give me so much grief.

Girl, topic starter, go out dressed in something neutral that you feel good in, pull your gaze up from the pavement to other people's eye level, and notice all the attention that is there for you by default.

And then come back here and tell us all about it, because that is the kind of support we need to give each other!

sept15lija
04-16-2009, 09:41 AM
RedKat - I am sorry I'm sure I'll be in the same boat someday (well, hopefully I guess! ;)) I've already discussed with DH getting surgery...but who knows if we'll be able to afford it. Have you tried wearing a support garment? I do now and have always done that, to keep things a little more together, so to speak. I was thinking I could do the same at goal...I'd love to be able to just feel free and not wear it but I am sure I'll still need it.

Lori Bell
04-16-2009, 09:43 AM
Congratulations on your 80 pound loss, that is really a terrific accomplishment. I feel bad for you, because...Yea loose skin sucks.

***warning the rest is a little rant, and I probably shouldn't even post it, but I am anyway because it's been bugging me for a while.***

I always fear these kind of threads because I have read so many newbie posts about the fear of loose skin and it being the "reason" they have put off losing weigh. Post after post: Will I have loose skin? Will I have loose skin? Well did you worry about that at the drive thru? It seems that so many people would rather live fat than live with loose skin. I just don't understand how people can think layers of fat are more attractive than a layer of skin.... Gosh, I even have (naturally thin) friends who have terrible saggy stomach skin just from having big babies. So I guess pregnancy and obesity should come with a warning....do you suppose people will stop overeating and having babies if they are warned they might end up with extra skin? I would LOVE to feel sorry for myself for the extra skin I'm wearing, if only I would have thought about that as I was shoving my face full of nachos and washing them down with margaritas. I remember many nights sitting down with a bag of Hershey kisses while watching Discovery Health channel and seeing people on a weekly basis have plastic surgery to remove their extra skin, that should have triggered something in me...I knew the risks, I knew what obesity was doing to my body. Oh well. I'll live with the reminder of what I did to destroy my body, much like a cutter lives with scars or a meth addict lives with rotten teeth.

KforKitty
04-16-2009, 10:26 AM
Congratulations on your 80 pound loss, that is really a terrific accomplishment. I feel bad for you, because...Yea loose skin sucks.

***warning the rest is a little rant, and I probably shouldn't even post it, but I am anyway because it's been bugging me for a while.***

I always fear these kind of threads because I have read so many newbie posts about the fear of loose skin and it being the "reason" they have put off losing weigh. Post after post: Will I have loose skin? Will I have loose skin? Well did you worry about that at the drive thru? It seems that so many people would rather live fat than live with loose skin. I just don't understand how people can think layers of fat are more attractive than a layer of skin.... Gosh, I even have (naturally thin) friends who have terrible saggy stomach skin just from having big babies. So I guess pregnancy and obesity should come with a warning....do you suppose people will stop overeating and having babies if they are warned they might end up with extra skin? I would LOVE to feel sorry for myself for the extra skin I'm wearing, if only I would have thought about that as I was shoving my face full of nachos and washing them down with margaritas. I remember many nights sitting down with a bag of Hershey kisses while watching Discovery Health channel and seeing people on a weekly basis have plastic surgery to remove their extra skin, that should have triggered something in me...I knew the risks, I knew what obesity was doing to my body. Oh well. I'll live with the reminder of what I did to destroy my body, much like a cutter lives with scars or a meth addict lives with rotten teeth.

Well said Lori - I've know I've said it before but we do have a similar outlook on life. I too am incredulous that anyone would think being very overweight is better than having a little lose skin and do consider my tummy overhang more of a 'battle scar' than something revolting. Good shapewear really can work wonders and in my clothes I'm sure no one is thinking 'look at her, she lost all that weight but have you seen the amount of lose skin she has on her tummy and thighs". No they don't because no one sees it.

And to the OP, I'm sure you're being overcritical with yourself. I'm sure most people have a roll or two when they bend, even skinny ones.

Kitty

Oh, and PS Lori for reaching your original goal. I've been away and must have missed it.

DCHound
04-16-2009, 10:41 AM
I always feel sympathy for folks who post about loose skin issues. I am not really having much of a problem myself (good genes I think) but I feel for those who do. I think trying to document it with your dr as a medical problem might be helpful. Or even being willing to take out a loan to have surgery, if it's that important to you. Otherwise, visit the "Maintainers/Body Image" section to see if anyone has posted any tips, tricks or advice you can use to just hide that skin. Good advice over there!

Personally, I LOVE LOVE LOVE reading all the threads in the "Maintainers/Body Image" section about how guys don't care what we look like undressed as much as we do. As for me, back when I was young, dumb, and married, my perception was that my weight etc. was the main problem in our marriage ~ boy was I wrong. Details are boring and pathetic so I won’t include them, but it was never my weight . . . that was just an excuse. Having gotten married during college and never really dating around much, this was my only experience with the opposite sex and my perception has been skewed because of it. I used to be one of those people who obsessed over/dreaded the idea of loose skin, saggy chest…etc. But not anymore. And not just because my skin’s doing OK. I'm not ready to date yet (I've only been divorced 5 1/2 years LOL) but when I am, the posts in the Maintainers/Body Image section are very encouraging/motivating and the possibility or even the reality of loose skin is NOT a reason not to lose weight. It’s just an excuse. Don’t settle!

JayEll
04-16-2009, 11:55 AM
:hug: RedKat!

Skin can improve, but it takes years, and I think some sag is inevitable. It even happens to people who have never been overweight.

But even if it does not, there are strategies. Spanx is one solution, and another is just wearing well-made clothing.

I perform in community theater now and then, and I remember one lead actress some years ago--gorgeous blond woman in her 40s who wore fitted dresses and looked like a million bucks! But in the dressing room, when she took off her dresses, you could tell that she had lost weight in her past. And you know what? No one cared. At the time I weighed 185, and she was inspiring to me.

I'm sure it is much more noticeable to you than it would be to anyone else.

I'm never going to look like those young models, either, but you know what? I can live with this! Surgery costs lots of zeroes, and I just have other things I'd rather spend those zeroes on... things where my loose skin makes no difference what-so-ever!

So take heart. Be proud! :D

Jay

MBN
04-16-2009, 12:07 PM
Don't you think part of the frustration is the "When I just lose weight everything will be perfect" thinking that we tend to have? Except that it's never perfect. Not with our body or with our life. We lose weight and now our skin doesn't fit. Or we're shaped unevenly. You see my wrinkles more now in my face. AND I still have a ton of gray hair.

But I'm so much healthier!! I can do so many things that I couldn't before. No, I'll never wear a bikini again (you do NOT want to see my saggy belly skin). But that's why the good Lord made clothing - to hide the imperfections.

bargoo
04-16-2009, 01:00 PM
I have lost over 80 pounds and guess what ? I have loose skin. After gaining and losimg weight over the years plus pregnancy what else can I expect ? I'm much healthier and look better and wearing proper fitting clothes no one knows what is underneath.

mudskippersgrl
04-16-2009, 04:51 PM
Just remember that a lot of us here on 3FC are all in the same boat when it comes to loose skin...

I have loose skin on my stomach, but I can find myself getting over that...

I think the worst is my boobs :( I'm only almost 21 and I have the boobs of an 80yr old!




--- The most important thing you can do is just to stay positive!

kiramira
04-16-2009, 05:02 PM
Try a great body support garment. It'll hold things in place so you don't get that spillage feeling, cheaper than plastic surgery, and it'll let your body adjust and perhaps shrink some more so that your skin fits you better...
Kira

RedKat
04-16-2009, 05:54 PM
Thanks everyone! I feel better now that it's later in the day and that I've read all your wonderful posts. . I knew from the beginning that I'd have the extra skin, 30 plus years of yo-yo dieting and having a child when I was at my heaviest, my skin has been through way too much. As far as the surgery goes, I'm not sooo upset that I need to do it for my self-esteem, I never once believed I would or should have a bikini bosy, that's not necessary for me, it's about being healthier and happier.....money is an issue, but I also have a terrible fear of "going under" ...as irrational as it is, the thought of going to sleep and not waking up and my daughter losing her mom for a cosmetic reason haunts me. Nevermind that it's a bigger risk leaving your house everyday than it is to go under, it's enough of a fear for me that will stop me from having it :) I had just hoped that I wouldn't have as much as I do, I guess that's the whole I'm not as big as I am delusion I had when I was heaver!