Weight Loss Support - ARRRRRRGGGGH!!!!!! *ok, that's better*




PinkyPie
04-14-2009, 05:02 PM
I am so frustrated! I have been back at WW since Week 5 and granted I had a 2 week vacation that included being in the States, staying in hotels and eating out often (and getting married;) ) but I am heavier NOW than I was when I restarted! I have had 3 weeks of tracking and planning, the first 2 weeks not 100%, the 3rd *totally* on program and I lost... 1.3 KG or *almost 3 lbs* ... my 4th week I was totally ON PROGRAM with the exception of Friday and Saturday as we were away for the weekend (but I made SO many choices to reflect my seriuousness), I went to weigh in and I GAINED almost 1.5 lbs back!!! IN ONE WEEKEND!

I have skipped, chocolates, candies, cakes, going out with friends, measured and weighed everything, had NOT A ONE SINGLE EASTER CANDY whatsoever, have been exercising, drinking my water, even giving up my beloved NF latte in the afternoon and I am only 1.5lbs further than I was 4 weeks ago :(:(:(:(:( and on top of that I am still heavier than when I started :(:(:(:(


I have made efforts to stop making excuses, to find time to exercise, to plan ahead and get up at the crack before dawn to make my food for the day.

I know I don't get enough sleep, but that's it. That's all! I eat ALL of my fruits and veggies, my good fats, get my dairy in, watch my carbs, don't use sugar, rarely drink diet sodas or otherwise, vary what I eat each day, never eat under 19 points per day (usually eat all 23 and use exercise points for the weekends to have wine)... I JUST DON"T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE!!!

:mad: I'm NOT GOING TO QUIT, but d*mn it's tempting!!!!


srmb60
04-14-2009, 05:34 PM
Renee? I don't understand 'since week five'. Does that mean the same as for five weeks or the fifth week of this year? Sorry ...

PinkyPie
04-14-2009, 05:42 PM
since the 5th week of this year. Sorry, WW does it by week numbers. So I've been back since week 5, was up down up down, then I went on my vacation/ honeymoon, went up again and have been seriously on program since thent.


srmb60
04-14-2009, 05:49 PM
Thanks :D I guess I don't speak WW :D

How long have you been home? I gather up, what I call, travel bloat. Puffy ankles, bloated tummy. It takes a while to lose.

WarMaiden
04-14-2009, 05:54 PM
use exercise points for the weekends to have wine

A lot of people find it difficult to lose weight while drinking. Perhaps you could experiment with cutting the booze out, and not replacing it with anything--regard the exercise points as just exercise, not a reason for more food.

newleaf123
04-14-2009, 05:55 PM
I'm sorry things haven't gone your way :(

If I'm reading correctly, there have been 4 weeks since your trip and wedding (congratulations, by the way!!) and you were only 100% on plan for 1 of those weeks, for which you were rewarded with an almost 3lb loss. The 2 weeks prior, by your own reckoning, you weren't 100% and the week following you were only 100% for 5 days, which means you weren't 100% for the week.

I think you need to get back the mindset that you had that one great week, and try sticking with it for a few weeks in a row. I bet you'll start seeing the scale move in the right direction again.

Good luck!! I'm glad you're not deciding to quit; success is hopefully just around the corner.

Also, I don't know anything about WW weigh-ins but I'm assuming you are clothed, so maybe you just had on more bulky clothes??

Tryingtostayskinny
04-14-2009, 07:11 PM
Hang in there, you can do it!

I sent you a private message.

JayEll
04-14-2009, 07:37 PM
:chin:

The way I understand it, if you stay within your points, you will lose weight. Is that the way it goes?

So... if you're not staying within your points... :dunno:

Life is just not fair!

I agree with newleaf123--you'll need to stay on program for more than a week at a time... And you WILL be rewarded! :hug:

Jay

kiramira
04-14-2009, 07:53 PM
Daily committment and daily consistency = weight loss success, no matter what the plan. If you aren't consistent every single day, you won't have success. And if you want it to come off NOW, you will be disappointed if you do anything other than an extreme diet. Which won't usually work in the long run...
(Ms JayEll, points are just ways of managing calorie blocks, so to speak -- each point is roughly worth 55 calories -- so weight loss is managed by counting the number of calorie blocks or points that you get each day and the number you get each day is based on your current weight and activity levels so that you lose 1-2 lbs per week -- it is a bit more complicated than that, but that is the jist of WW)
Don't give up, just recommit to a program and give it your all. See what happens!
Kira

Onmyway
04-14-2009, 08:39 PM
Glad to hear you are not ready to give up! I agree with Newleaf, you need to really try to give it your all for a few more weeks to see some results.

You CAN do it!

EZMONEY
04-14-2009, 10:38 PM
:hug: congrats on getting married...You know what you have to do...so do it ;) :hug:

PinkyPie
04-15-2009, 01:19 AM
Thanks :D I guess I don't speak WW :D

How long have you been home? I gather up, what I call, travel bloat. Puffy ankles, bloated tummy. It takes a while to lose.

thanks Susan. I've been home since the 13th of March, so I think I could be past that already. But you are right it can take a while.

A lot of people find it difficult to lose weight while drinking. Perhaps you could experiment with cutting the booze out, and not replacing it with anything--regard the exercise points as just exercise, not a reason for more food.

I have done that in the past, but I have to say, not having a glass or two of wine on the weekends is not sustainable for me. I do not have a problem not drinking but it's something I enjoy, so that's why I either save up a few points or use activity points. I don't have any other vices. I don't go out to eat generally. I don't even use my food or activity points for fast food, candy, chocolates, etc. Just a couple of glasses of wine in the weekend. I'm not saying it's out of the question to experiment, what I'm saying is, I have to do things which are sustainable for the long haul.

I'm sorry things haven't gone your way :(

If I'm reading correctly, there have been 4 weeks since your trip and wedding (congratulations, by the way!!) and you were only 100% on plan for 1 of those weeks, for which you were rewarded with an almost 3lb loss. The 2 weeks prior, by your own reckoning, you weren't 100% and the week following you were only 100% for 5 days, which means you weren't 100% for the week.

I think you need to get back the mindset that you had that one great week, and try sticking with it for a few weeks in a row. I bet you'll start seeing the scale move in the right direction again.

Good luck!! I'm glad you're not deciding to quit; success is hopefully just around the corner.

Also, I don't know anything about WW weigh-ins but I'm assuming you are clothed, so maybe you just had on more bulky clothes??

thanks. and thanks for putting it in a different perspective. I guess I just don't see how two not so great days can undo 12 great days. I was away for the weekend, so I really did my best to choose under the circumstances. So I guess that's an NSV that I need to remember.

Hang in there, you can do it!

I sent you a private message.

Thanks! and got your message! ;)

:chin:

The way I understand it, if you stay within your points, you will lose weight. Is that the way it goes?

So... if you're not staying within your points... :dunno:

Life is just not fair!

I agree with newleaf123--you'll need to stay on program for more than a week at a time... And you WILL be rewarded! :hug:

Jay


You are right Jay. Thanks for the support. I'm having trouble with patience I guess!

Daily committment and daily consistency = weight loss success, no matter what the plan. If you aren't consistent every single day, you won't have success. And if you want it to come off NOW, you will be disappointed if you do anything other than an extreme diet. Which won't usually work in the long run...
(Ms JayEll, points are just ways of managing calorie blocks, so to speak -- each point is roughly worth 55 calories -- so weight loss is managed by counting the number of calorie blocks or points that you get each day and the number you get each day is based on your current weight and activity levels so that you lose 1-2 lbs per week -- it is a bit more complicated than that, but that is the jist of WW)
Don't give up, just recommit to a program and give it your all. See what happens!
Kira


Thanks Kira. You are right of course. I am back up on the horse again today.

Glad to hear you are not ready to give up! I agree with Newleaf, you need to really try to give it your all for a few more weeks to see some results.

You CAN do it!

Thanks for the support. I'm going to work on my attitude and patience a bit more as well!

:hug: congrats on getting married...You know what you have to do...so do it ;) :hug:

Thanks! And you are right. I do know. I'm just frustrated and it's my own doing.


Sorry for the whinge all. Today is a new day.

rockinrobin
04-15-2009, 05:29 AM
Congratulations on your marriage!!!

But yes, if you want consistent results - you'll have to be consistent with your plan. There is no way around it. You can't have it both ways. It just can't occur. You can't go off plan AND expect a weight loss.

Without a doubt, one "off" day (yet alone two) can definitely derail the other 6 (or 5) "good" ones. We are trying to create a calorie deficit. We do that one day at a time. Appox. 3500 calories below what we burn will provide us with a pound of weight loss. Every time we create a 3500 calorie deficit, we lose a pound. Let's say we create a 500 calorie deficit every single day. We do that 6 days in a row - that's 3000 calories burned - or almost a pound gone. But on that 7th day, we don't create that 500 calorie deficit. There goes that should have/could have been one pound gone. Depending on how many calories we consume on that off day, we've not only wiped out our potential to lose the pound - we may created a calorie overage or surplus - and now gained weight - not lost.

It's a lot to wrap around ones brain. To stay on plan for 7 days in a row. 10 days in a row. 15 days. 25 days. Etc. But that's how it needs to be IF you want to steadily lose. There is no way around it. :hug:

Fressca
04-15-2009, 11:12 AM
Velveteen, I feel your pain. I've been "trying to lose weight" on and off for a year. Mostly I feel positive about it because I AM 20 lbs lighter than this time last year, but it's a long haul because there's no consistency.

So Robin's post was like a bolt of lightning. Thanks, Robin!

Congratulations on your marriage!!!

But yes, if you want consistent results - you'll have to be consistent with your plan. There is no way around it. You can't have it both ways. It just can't occur. You can't go off plan AND expect a weight loss.

Without a doubt, one "off" day (yet alone two) can definitely derail the other 6 (or 5) "good" ones. We are trying to create a calorie deficit. We do that one day at a time. Appox. 3500 calories below what we burn will provide us with a pound of weight loss. Every time we create a 3500 calorie deficit, we lose a pound. Let's say we create a 500 calorie deficit every single day. We do that 6 days in a row - that's 3000 calories burned - or almost a pound gone. But on that 7th day, we don't create that 500 calorie deficit. There goes that should have/could have been one pound gone. Depending on how many calories we consume on that off day, we've not only wiped out our potential to lose the pound - we may created a calorie overage or surplus - and now gained weight - not lost.

It's a lot to wrap around ones brain. To stay on plan for 7 days in a row. 10 days in a row. 15 days. 25 days. Etc. But that's how it needs to be IF you want to steadily lose. There is no way around it. :hug:

PinkyPie
04-15-2009, 11:49 AM
I KNOW all this stuff and I do apologise for the constant whinging lately.

So here's my next question - how does one stay perfectly on plan when you are not in your own controlled environment? How does one ever go out with friends or their partner for a drink or a meal out and stay POP? How do I do this, whilst staying on plan every day and not be completely miserable about it? I feel right now like I can't even go out anymore. I can't go away for the weekend (I'm going to Poland in a month - I don't know what I'm going to eat in Poland and still stay POP). I can't go out for a drink. So I can literally have 10 good days, and with ONE time going out, even though I make the best choices I can at that moment, I risk all my effort going straight out the window?

I don't see how I CAN do this then if I basically have to stop my entire life :(

rockinrobin
04-15-2009, 11:57 AM
How can you stay POP? You decide to.

And I'm not sure what you mean by "basically have to stop my entire life".

For me, what I was doing PRIOR to eating healthy was stopping my life, literally and THAT'S what made me miserable.

Razorcandy
04-15-2009, 12:07 PM
You can find a way to do this.

Since I changed my eating lifestyle, other parts of my life have changed. I no longer to out to the buffet with the family. Instread I will go with them to another restaurant where I can bring my own dressing for a nice salad or I ask for a variety of grilled chicken and vegs (yeah, you can order off the menu).

Yeah you probably do need to give up the drinking.

Remember it takes 10 days to form a habit, 30 days to break one.

This is something you can do, you just need to decide to do it, and do it. Find a way.

PinkyPie
04-15-2009, 12:38 PM
Points taken.

I do decide to stay and be on plan. I have already given up many things. I drink in moderation, I even have a wine glass at home that is marked clearly at 125 ml because its too easy to free pour. I eat no chips, cookies, candy (only WW stuff and then I literally have 1 piece to satisfy a need. We eat out maybe once a month. I go out for a drink with colleagues maybe once a month. I never eat fast food, ever. Last weekend I only completely finished one meal, the rest I stopped when satisfied. One meal came with fries, I ate exactly 11 of them. At breakfast I skipped the traditional pile of fried bacon and sausage. I ate fruit and yoghurt. I decided those things and CHOSE them because I DO want to stay on the program. I do not find it realistic to limit myself even more than I already do. I am miserable fat and I am miserable trying to rectify the problem. Am I supposed to give up everything?? I am bound to be more miserable to never go anywhere again and never enjoy another glass of wine with a meal or out with my husband.

I'm sorry that I am like this right now. I'm embarrassed but so very frustrated.

newleaf123
04-15-2009, 12:42 PM
Honestly, I'm not going out to eat much because it's not particularly enjoyable. All I feel good about ordering is a salad, and frankly, I make a much better, more diverse salad at home...

When I have gone out with friends for lunch, I have ordered salad, no dressing. When I've taken my kids to a fast food restaurant, I've ordered tea or diet soda, no food. When I go out to eat with my husband, I order a salad, no dressing. One time I ordered some blackened sea scallops and a dry potato. It came with 5 little scallops and a dry potato; pretty depressing. My weight wasn't up the next day, but I wished I had ordered a salad.

I don't think you have to stop your entire life, but you do have to decide if going out is worth it. For me, when I'm home under normal circumstances, it isn't. I did go on vacation for 4 days and went to restaurants, ate normal food without too much thought about calories (within reason), and enjoyed wine each day. But when I got home, my weight was up a couple pounds and I had to redouble my efforts.

Losing weight is hard; there's no two ways about it. You have to decide that you want it. :hug:

PinkyPie
04-15-2009, 01:13 PM
I already have very little social life and I am a social person. I NEED something; going out 2x a month should be possible, no? Am I not supposed to travel anymore or do anything I enjoy? Because I still don't see how I can be POP and go places where not all food around me is in my control. And now it seems like I can only be successful now if I am POP.

newleaf123
04-15-2009, 01:26 PM
Going out 2x a month is definitely possible, even when the food around you is not in your control. You just have to commit to making the best and healthiest choices that you can in those circumstances and exercising portion control.

If you don't want to do that, but instead want to just eat and drink like you normally would, then you need to accept that the scale may go up those weeks. So if you go out every other week, you may be in a cycle of
Week 1: POP --> down a pound
Week 2: indulge 1x, --> maybe down a little, maybe up a little
Week 3: POP --> down the little bit you were up last week, if that was the case, and then maybe down a little more?
Week 4: indulge 1x --> maybe down a little, maybe up a little

Maybe for you that's a more manageable pace -- knowing that little by little you will go down, but enjoying those nights out along the way. Weight loss is a personal journey with a lot of room for choice in how it happens, and how quickly it happens. It's a decision that ultimately you have to make on your own, and a lot of times, through a fair bit of trial and error.

Glory87
04-15-2009, 01:52 PM
I already have very little social life and I am a social person. I NEED something; going out 2x a month should be possible, no? Am I not supposed to travel anymore or do anything I enjoy? Because I still don't see how I can be POP and go places where not all food around me is in my control. And now it seems like I can only be successful now if I am POP.

Hmmm, when I was actively losing weight, I stayed on plan except for 2 occasions (my birthday and Christmas/Christmas Eve) - otherwise, no "cheating" from July 2004 until around April 2005.

I still did social things, I still went out to dinner with my then boyfriend every Saturday night, I just picked places where I could make healthy choices. I made the decision not to drink - at all. But that's just me, social situations don't really involve alcohol for me and I can completely take it or leave it (I did have one glass of red wine on my birthday and a glass of champagne at New Year's).

I always check out menus online first and I feel comfortable special ordering. A common order for me is grilled salmon, no butter, double steamed veggies, no butter. Most restaurants will add a grilled chicken breast to a house salad for a small extra charge. Sure, it's kind of boring, but if I'm out for a social situation - what is the real goal? To eat or to be social?

I hardly EVER take home leftovers, I don't care how much money I'm wasting, a dinner in a restaurant is always a bigger calorie hit than anything I can make at home and it must be a single meal, not multi-meals. I also practice not cleaning my plate in a restaurant - portion sizes are big.

I constantly remind myself that when I ate whatever I wanted, whatever food was around me - I was not a happy person. Food might taste good, but it did not make me happy. I already had that chance - to see what it was like to eat whatever I wanted and it was a miserable bust. Now that I am more mindful of my eating, I am a happier person.

It is much easier for me now that I'm maintaining. I'm a total foodie and love good food - the extra calories of maintenance allows for a bigger food indulgence one a week. But - to get to maintenance, I did without, for a long time and it was a good decision for me.

JayEll
04-15-2009, 01:57 PM
Velveteen, you're not thinking clearly.

I drink in moderation... We eat out maybe once a month.... Last weekend I only completely finished one meal, the rest I stopped when satisfied. One meal came with fries, I ate exactly 11 of them. At breakfast I skipped the traditional pile of fried bacon and sausage. I ate fruit and yoghurt. I decided those things and CHOSE them because I DO want to stay on the program....

But then you say this:

Am I supposed to give up everything?? I am bound to be more miserable to never go anywhere again and never enjoy another glass of wine with a meal or out with my husband.

Who is saying you have to give up everything?? You know how to count points, right? So you know how to decide what to eat, right? How is that "giving up everything"? How does choosing to eat some things and not others add up to "giving up everything"?

It doesn't. That's where you're not thinking clearly.

I think perhaps you're trying to construct an argument by which you DO "have to give up everything," and if you're not willing to "give up everything," then you might as well just stay fat and eat and drink whatever you want at any time. Sorry, it doesn't wash!

Obviously you have to restrict some things. If eating and drinking the way you used to had worked for you, you wouldn't have the problem you now have. I think that's true of all of us here. :yes:

You keep figuring out your points and logging them every day. That's how you do it. You know how to have a glass of wine, and you know how to figure out what to eat at meals. So please don't confuse that with a lifetime of never having anything!

Jay

PinkyPie
04-15-2009, 02:12 PM
:(


what I am hearing is "give up alcohol" and "stay POP it's the only way to be successful"

I'm *not* thinking clearly, I know that.

But I am miserable! I'm miserable fat and I'm miserable when I'm POP. Right at this very moment I am RAVENOUS, cranky, I've had a headache all day and I can hardly focus. I've been POP *all* day and I'm about to have my carefully rationed out/weighed/measured and pointed grilled salmon, wild rice and steamed green beans. I will be at 23 points exactly, which is my daily allowance. And I am MISERABLE. I have been hungry ALL day, yet I've eaten, and I've eaten well! I've had my fruits, my veg, my olive oil, my protein, my snacks, and I am miserable.

So I'm not thinking clearly, no.

thank you for all the feedback. i have a lot to think about and get my head around so I can suck it up and do this thing!

unwanted37lbs
04-15-2009, 02:19 PM
i dont see any Started weight, Curant weight, and Goal weight of yours,.... and it said dont even ask... maybe you need to set little goals in your life? it might be easier to focus on 5 lbs than obstract number that is not exisiting in your head.. if you have a goal i recomend you write it down (post here) along with yout currant weight. Also make a ticker with mini goal. This will be a hige motovation for you. Mini goals are easier to achieve then just saying "i want to lose wigtht".

Also there is a family member who decided to lose withgt, she did well first 2 weeks, going to the gym, eating heathy, she lost about 7 lbs and was happy to see the prograss, the she stopped seeing scale dropping numbers as she was expecting so she stopped doing it all together. Meanwhile another relative has been going to the gym and eating healthy for 1 1/2 YEARS!!! they are very commited!! and she is 80 lbs lighter because of her commitment. Again, not a week!! YEAR AND A HALF! try that.

WarMaiden
04-15-2009, 02:27 PM
But I am miserable! I'm miserable fat and I'm miserable when I'm POP. Right at this very moment I am RAVENOUS, cranky, I've had a headache all day and I can hardly focus. I've been POP *all* day and I'm about to have my carefully rationed out/weighed/measured and pointed grilled salmon, wild rice and steamed green beans. I will be at 23 points exactly, which is my daily allowance. And I am MISERABLE. I have been hungry ALL day, yet I've eaten, and I've eaten well! I've had my fruits, my veg, my olive oil, my protein, my snacks, and I am miserable.

If one WW point is about 55 calories, then you've eaten 1265 calories today. You know what--on 1300 calories, I would be totally freakin' miserable, too. In fact, when I eat less than 1700 or 1800 calories, I'm totally freakin' miserable. Fat loss (being in a calorie deficit) does not FEEL good; it causes insomnia, aches and pains, mental fuzziness, fatigue, and more. So you're not weird or abnormal for feeling this way.

If eating at this level continues to cause you to feel this way every single day, then you know what--you can choose to eat more and lose weight less quickly. Or, you can choose to eat more and also become more active (burn more calories) through NEAT (Non-Exercise Activity Thermogenesis, which is a fancy way to say all non-cardio / non-training calorie burn). You have other options, is what I'm saying. You don't have to choose misery, but you may have to trade off misery for slower weight loss.

I'm so sorry you're feeling crappy, I know it sucks. I hope dinner made you feel a little better.

kiramira
04-15-2009, 02:35 PM
Ok, Ms Velveteen! I feel your pain, and I am at 23 points a day, too. SO, here comes some assistance:
You CAN stay 100% on plan with Weight Watchers and have your glass of wine and go out twice a month. It IS possible -- I started at 244lbs and am now around 185lbs, so this is proof that it works. Here's what to do:
DEFINE what being on plan means for you. Sounds weird, but some people don't think they are on plan unless they get all their fruits/veg/dairy/oils PERFECTLY according to the WW guidelines. At 23 points a day, I personally find this IMPOSSIBLE TO DO. So for ME, being ON PLAN means staying within my points every day. That's IT. Somedays I need chocolate. So I give up the fruit. Seriously. I rarely make my veg intake because I hate veggies as a general rule. So I don't worry about it. I take a multivitamin instead. It isn't perferct, but neither am I and I need to LIVE within the plan, not let the plan dictate my life. SO:
1. Identify what foods you are missing and what will make you happy and plan accordingly.
2. Go online to Amazon.com or another website and buy some WW cookbooks. Often there are WW recipes for your favorites that, while not exact, are close enough to be satisfying.
3. Use your flex points (35 per week) to help you through the first two weeks, which are the WORST, especially if you have been somewhat out of control in the past. Using your flex points will slow your weight loss somewhat, but they are there to be used, so use them!!!!
4. Don't give up alcohol if you don't want to -- plan the points in or use your Flex points. I do this REGULARLY because I don't want to live like a hermit. But what this means is that I won't have 3 or 4 drinks in an evening -- I'll be happy nursing 1 or 2. But if I WANTED 3 or 4, I would adjust my points accordingly...and I go out to eat at least once a week, but am careful with what I eat and where I go. It CAN be done...do you have the "dining out companion book" yet? This is helpful for ethnic foods, which is what we usually go out for regularly.
5. Be disciplined and aware of your food intake and moods. Being on plan ensures success, but you HAVE to make the plan work for you or else you will be angry, frustrated and unhappy.
6. Look carefully at your points, and what I mean by that is this:
1 banana = 2 points. OR I could have 2 apples for 2 points.
1 cup rice = 4 points. OR I could have 1 cup of WW recipe garlic mashed potatoes for 2 points.
1 tbsp olive oil = 3 points. OR I could use an oil spray instead and have 3 cups of grapes OR 1/2 a chocolate bar OR 6 oz of red wine OR well you get the point. I know the plan says to eat oils, and dairy, but I'm telling you, there often aren't enough points in a day to be perfect with respect to all the food groups (seriously, 4 points a day on DAIRY! They are out of their minds!). So I take a multivitamin to compensate.
Salmon is fabulous, but 5 oz = 6 points, OR I could be just as satisfied with 4 oz of chicken = 4 points.
It takes time to get the hang of it, but you can work it.
Personally, I think you are going through what pretty much ALL of us go through, including:
Sugar Withdrawl Syndrome (especially if you used to eat alot of rice and pasta), PLUS
-and this is a biggie- GRIEF over losing your friend, your companion, and the thing that has always been there for you: FOOD. A weird thing to go through, but pretty much everyone grieves the loss of this companion at some point; PLUS
Generally being PISSED OFF that you can't eat what you want when you want without consequence, and it just isn't fair. Been there too...
So, just do your best for the week, and by week 3 you'll be into the groove of it. If you are "sort of on" the plan, it'll be hard to move past the initial irritation and annoyance into the groove...
Please keep posting!
Kira

PinkyPie
04-15-2009, 02:43 PM
i dont see any Started weight, Curant weight, and Goal weight of yours,.... and it said dont even ask... maybe you need to set little goals in your life? it might be easier to focus on 5 lbs than obstract number that is not exisiting in your head.. if you have a goal i recomend you write it down (post here) along with yout currant weight. Also make a ticker with mini goal. This will be a hige motovation for you. Mini goals are easier to achieve then just saying "i want to lose wigtht".

Also there is a family member who decided to lose withgt, she did well first 2 weeks, going to the gym, eating heathy, she lost about 7 lbs and was happy to see the prograss, the she stopped seeing scale dropping numbers as she was expecting so she stopped doing it all together. Meanwhile another relative has been going to the gym and eating healthy for 1 1/2 YEARS!!! they are very commited!! and she is 80 lbs lighter because of her commitment. Again, not a week!! YEAR AND A HALF! try that.

Yes, I've done all that. I have always had my stats up since I became a member here. I have had the ticker up. I have had mini goals. I have joined challenges, had blogs and what not, kept track, went to the gym, all of that stuff. Again I *know* what to do and I have done it I just have not been consistent. I can't stand to look at the numbers or the tickers anymore! I am the same as I was 4 years ago! And that, my friend, is my fault, partially anyway. I can't do loads about my current schedule (as you all have heard me whine about before - 20 hours a week commuting, up at 4.30, no time for the gym, etc) so I'm making due. I've sucked up the "no time for exercise" excuse and have just been doing it. But seeing the numbers and setting mini goals is just depressing me, so I won't do it right now.

If one WW point is about 55 calories, then you've eaten 1265 calories today. You know what--on 1300 calories, I would be totally freakin' miserable, too. In fact, when I eat less than 1700 or 1800 calories, I'm totally freakin' miserable. Fat loss (being in a calorie deficit) does not FEEL good; it causes insomnia, aches and pains, mental fuzziness, fatigue, and more. So you're not weird or abnormal for feeling this way.

If eating at this level continues to cause you to feel this way every single day, then you know what--you can choose to eat more and lose weight less quickly. Or, you can choose to eat more and also become more active (burn more calories) through NEAT (Non-Exercise Activity Thermogenesis, which is a fancy way to say all non-cardio / non-training calorie burn). You have other options, is what I'm saying. You don't have to choose misery, but you may have to trade off misery for slower weight loss.

I'm so sorry you're feeling crappy, I know it sucks. I hope dinner made you feel a little better.

Our program is a wee bit different here, so the numbers you have there aren't quite accurate. Let's say when *I* was at my goal weight, years ago, and was maintaining, I was at 18 points per day. So I think our points are more like closer to 100 cals. These are the points that were determined to be for me according to height, weight, age, sedentary/not-sedentary. We also do not count points for *most* fruit, so there are calories there that are not really figured in. I don't overdo on the fruit, because at the end of the day I know too much *can* make or break (with sugar and calories). I was eating a banana or having a smoothie every morning and my leader said to try NOT having that for a week to see what happens.

Patience is not my forté obviously - I am so tired of being this size, I don't really want slower results, but maybe it's just how it's supposed to be right now, since I don't really know where else I could make a change (besides what is mentioned in this thread).

Thanks. Dinner is nearly ready so at least that's something.

JayEll
04-15-2009, 03:56 PM
I see that you're saying the points system is different where you live... maybe so, I don't know. If those were U.S. WW points, you would not be eating enough. Is there anywhere else where you live, or on the web, where you could get more information about WW there? Go to a different meeting?

I hope you figure it out! I think people have made lots of suggestions here, but mostly I'm hearing "no" on your end. :dunno:

Jay

PinkyPie
04-15-2009, 04:03 PM
Ok, Ms Velveteen! I feel your pain, and I am at 23 points a day, too. SO, here comes some assistance:
You CAN stay 100% on plan with Weight Watchers and have your glass of wine and go out twice a month. It IS possible -- I started at 244lbs and am now around 185lbs, so this is proof that it works. Here's what to do:
DEFINE what being on plan means for you. Sounds weird, but some people don't think they are on plan unless they get all their fruits/veg/dairy/oils PERFECTLY according to the WW guidelines. At 23 points a day, I personally find this IMPOSSIBLE TO DO. So for ME, being ON PLAN means staying within my points every day. That's IT. Somedays I need chocolate. So I give up the fruit. Seriously. I rarely make my veg intake because I hate veggies as a general rule. So I don't worry about it. I take a multivitamin instead. It isn't perferct, but neither am I and I need to LIVE within the plan, not let the plan dictate my life. SO:
1. Identify what foods you are missing and what will make you happy and plan accordingly.
2. Go online to Amazon.com or another website and buy some WW cookbooks. Often there are WW recipes for your favorites that, while not exact, are close enough to be satisfying.
3. Use your flex points (35 per week) to help you through the first two weeks, which are the WORST, especially if you have been somewhat out of control in the past. Using your flex points will slow your weight loss somewhat, but they are there to be used, so use them!!!!
4. Don't give up alcohol if you don't want to -- plan the points in or use your Flex points. I do this REGULARLY because I don't want to live like a hermit. But what this means is that I won't have 3 or 4 drinks in an evening -- I'll be happy nursing 1 or 2. But if I WANTED 3 or 4, I would adjust my points accordingly...and I go out to eat at least once a week, but am careful with what I eat and where I go. It CAN be done...do you have the "dining out companion book" yet? This is helpful for ethnic foods, which is what we usually go out for regularly.
5. Be disciplined and aware of your food intake and moods. Being on plan ensures success, but you HAVE to make the plan work for you or else you will be angry, frustrated and unhappy.
6. Look carefully at your points, and what I mean by that is this:
1 banana = 2 points. OR I could have 2 apples for 2 points.
1 cup rice = 4 points. OR I could have 1 cup of WW recipe garlic mashed potatoes for 2 points.
1 tbsp olive oil = 3 points. OR I could use an oil spray instead and have 3 cups of grapes OR 1/2 a chocolate bar OR 6 oz of red wine OR well you get the point. I know the plan says to eat oils, and dairy, but I'm telling you, there often aren't enough points in a day to be perfect with respect to all the food groups (seriously, 4 points a day on DAIRY! They are out of their minds!). So I take a multivitamin to compensate.
Salmon is fabulous, but 5 oz = 6 points, OR I could be just as satisfied with 4 oz of chicken = 4 points.
It takes time to get the hang of it, but you can work it.
Personally, I think you are going through what pretty much ALL of us go through, including:
Sugar Withdrawl Syndrome (especially if you used to eat alot of rice and pasta), PLUS
-and this is a biggie- GRIEF over losing your friend, your companion, and the thing that has always been there for you: FOOD. A weird thing to go through, but pretty much everyone grieves the loss of this companion at some point; PLUS
Generally being PISSED OFF that you can't eat what you want when you want without consequence, and it just isn't fair. Been there too...
So, just do your best for the week, and by week 3 you'll be into the groove of it. If you are "sort of on" the plan, it'll be hard to move past the initial irritation and annoyance into the groove...
Please keep posting!
Kira


Thank you Kira.

I need to have a look and maybe anaylze what I'm eating/ how I'm using my points.

I have tried the cookbooks but there is one fundamental challenge - I buy english language cookbooks and they are fashioned around either North American eating culture/ingredients or UK. I buy dutch language ones and they are full of Dutch cultural type foods and recipes, which, sad to say, I just really don't like (I find Dutch food quite bland and with a lot of vegetables that I don't like, or things just cooked to death and mashed up. I *can* cook, and I love to, so I experiment and make things based on recipes and put all of the ingredients into my WW online program to calculate points).

Eating Out guide... yeah, we don't really have one. It covers things like Fast Food (don't like it - don't eat it), Dutch and Belgian type food (I am in the Benelux region), Chinese (don't really like Chinese here, seems almost everything is cooked with pork and I don't *really* like pork), Indonesian, but very little Thai (love Thai), basic Italian (pizzas), Mexican (not a lot of Mexican places that have *anything* on the menu what is listed in the book)... so again I have excuses, but honestly, the culture just isn't like that here. And asking for anything different than what is on the menu gets the "you're kidding, right?" look (we are very behind in customer service). We really don't go out often so it's not a huge issue, but when we are travelling, for example, there is not going to be a listing of foods I can eat or restaurants to go to whilst I'm in Warsaw or Berlin, so I do just try to make the best choice I can. Also we have very limited WW products here - I usually just buy the WW lunch meat - 2 slices for 1/2 point for chicken.

We don't count our fruit (except a few things, like banana which I actually weigh out to WW points standards and throw away the rest!), so I don't have to give that up for chocolate. Problem right now with chocolate is, if I start, I won't stop. It's a definitely trigger food, so I just say "no" and it's ok. Same with chips. Don't buy them because I can and will eat the whole bag.

I don't do a whole lot of bread or carbs in general (some veggie carbs) and haven't for quite a long time now (years). I seem to be able to eat loaves of bread and never feel full - it's like eating air to me, so I don't do it much anymore. I have always seemed to have a hunger problem and have done tricks like have a NF latte, drink a diet soda (only have one occassionally), chew gum, smoke (gave that up at Christmas so that's a non-option :lol: ) I just really don't know how else I could eat. I love fruit and veg, I eat fish rich in omega-3 once a week (tonight was omega-3 night).

But you have a lot of good points (as have so many chicks here and I thank you), so I will think again about what I need/want/can fit in my plan. I did give my leader my planner for a week and she hardly could find anything at all that I needed to improve on except possibly I don't get enough healthy fats and that maybe I needed to lay off the banana in the morning and eat something more like a kiwi or some mandarin oranges instead.

PinkyPie
04-15-2009, 04:08 PM
I see that you're saying the points system is different where you live... maybe so, I don't know. If those were U.S. WW points, you would not be eating enough. Is there anywhere else where you live, or on the web, where you could get more information about WW there? Go to a different meeting?

I hope you figure it out! I think people have made lots of suggestions here, but mostly I'm hearing "no" on your end. :dunno:

Jay



I know Jay, and I'm sorry. I hope it comes more across that I am frustrated and that's all, it's not that I'm not willing to do something different, I am - I know I am stubborn as well, so I apologise for sounding like I'm just saying no.

I did a little test on sparkpeople once - I plugged in all of my WW foods (most of which I had to enter manually with all of the nutritional info to get the numbers right) and when on plan, I was even over on calories if I were to go by what sparkpeople recommended to lose weight. It wasn't much, but it was over, and that was several OP days that I tested.

I've been doing Dutch WW for 10 years now - you would think I wouldn't be *****ing and moaning like I have been (and the program's changed like 4 times!) - I go to the only meeting I can actually make it to because of my schedule, and I also pay for an online subscription so that I can log and look up points and calculate for recipes and the like. I would be happy to share what i had today for example (and I'm at 23 points), but I am not sure if you guys have lost your patience with me or not yet.:o

unwanted37lbs
04-15-2009, 04:23 PM
motivation is everything. Excuses and self pity leads to failure!!

PinkyPie
04-15-2009, 04:24 PM
thanks. that helps :(

JayEll
04-15-2009, 04:35 PM
You might get better feedback over in the 3FC Weight Watchers forum? In that, they might be able to analyze what you're eating better?

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=18

But if you want to list your foods here, we might be able to do a calorie calculation if you wanted that.

Jay

PinkyPie
04-15-2009, 04:45 PM
thanks Jay. I'll do that.

I am sorry for the negativity here. I really just need some help, support and understanding to start. Appreciate the responses.

WarMaiden
04-15-2009, 05:26 PM
Reviewing salient points of discussion so far:

-- You've been on Dutch WW for 10 years now.
-- You're the same weight now as you were 4 years ago.
-- You're not losing weight at a rate that satisfies you.
-- You are constantly feeling hungry and deprived on your current eating pattern.
-- You're eating in the range of 2300 calories per day (assuming 1 Dutch WW point is around 100 calories).
-- You don't count fruit points, and if you are not careful with fruit you tend toward blowing a whole day's deficit on it.
-- Chocolate is a major trigger food for you.
-- Bread is also an overeating trigger food, and you can't get full on it.

I recommend you change your plan toward something like South Beach instead of WW. WW is not working for you; you are carb-intolerant and perhaps insulin-resistant and would probably benefit from a plan that focuses much more on lean protein, good fats, whole-food carbs, and limiting fruit and grains. Eventually if/when you improve insulin sensitivity, you may find that grains and fruits are not such a problem for you; then again, they may always be, as they are for lots of people.

rockinrobin
04-16-2009, 05:07 AM
I already have very little social life and I am a social person. I NEED something; going out 2x a month should be possible, no? Am I not supposed to travel anymore or do anything I enjoy? Because I still don't see how I can be POP and go places where not all food around me is in my control. And now it seems like I can only be successful now if I am POP.



But I am miserable! I'm miserable fat and I'm miserable when I'm POP.


For me steady consistent weight loss could not occur until the desire to be fit, trim, slim and healthy outweighed the desire for the food. Because yes, restriction is required. You simply can't eat what you want AND lose the weight. So when my desire to be slim OUTWEIGHED the desire for the food, my desire for "those" foods greatly decreased. I knew that each and every time I said no to one of "those" foods, I was one step closer to losing the weight and becoming that fit, trim & slender person.

I also never looked at passing up on "those foods" as deprivation. I looked at remaining overweight as deprivation. I was depriving myself of the best life possible. I was depriving myself of fulfilling my hopes and dreams and greatest desires.

You also mention that you are miserable while on plan and while off plan. I would say to you - choose your "miserable". At least the "miserable" of being on plan will provide you with something valuable - a healthy, slimmer, happier, more productive and energetic person.

But then of course I would change the word miserable and make staying on plan - PLEASANT. And enjoyable. And satisfying. You've got to stop feeling sorry for yourself. Stop focusing on what you can't have and start focusing on what you CAN have. Find on plan foods that are DELICIOUS and tasty and enjoyable for you. If you do this, then staying on plan will be waaaay less "miserable". Might I dare to say it may even become enjoyable and likable. Believe me, I am a food lover. Without a doubt more so now then when I was morbidly obese. I thoroughly enjoy each and every precious on plan calorie that goes into my mouth. I am eating fabulous foods, that no one would know or at least care, that they are "diet" friendly. All incredibly scrumptious, yet incredibly healthy and lower calorie.

And of course you can go out. But yes, some control IS required. But going out doesn't mean going off plan. Be choosier. There's grilled chicken and fish. There's salads. There's soup. There's veggies. There's diet soda and seltzer. Going out and socializing and having a good time is NOT dependent on eating high calorie foods.

And quite frankly, I agree with War Maiden, I'm not sure if WW is the "right" plan for you.

With a little tweaking of your plan and a little tweaking of your mind frame, you most certainly CAN lose weight, keep it off, socialize and be extremely content and satisfied. :)

PinkyPie
04-16-2009, 10:11 AM
War Maiden, thanks for your post. I will look at south beach. I already limit my bread and tend towards more protein, but perhaps the fruit and vegetables I eat are just too much sugar and carbs. The reason I do WW is because I have a hard time with set meals that I have to follow to the "t". I am also a wee bit lactose intolerant but to be honest I really know nothing about SBC so I can't judge.


Robin, thank you for your words and insight. Honestly you and a few others have made me cry and that is mostly because I know how right you are. I need to quit whining and make the decision to do it and do it 100% and if not 100% then I have to accept the consequences! So anyway, thank you very much.

ICUwishing
04-16-2009, 10:17 AM
Velveteen, first: :hugs:

There's a lot of collective wisdom here, and you might want to seriously consider WarMaiden's post - that WW is not right for your nutritional type. I couldn't lose a pound on it - for me, the low-fat emphasis was total misery. A possible reference for you would be to look at Dr. Mercola's studies on nutritional typing; I found it fascinating. The problem could easily not be you - it could be your plan. :) Hang in there! When you find the right way to eat, like Robin says, it will be infinitely easier because you will feel wonderful when you stick to it.

rockinrobin
04-16-2009, 10:37 AM
The reason I do WW is because I have a hard time with set meals that I have to follow to the "t". I am also a wee bit lactose intolerant but to be honest I really know nothing about SBC so I can't judge.

Velveteen, you also seem to have a hard time with unset meals. I don't believe South Beach is about set meals though. I think WW just may be too "wide open" for you.

Anyway, I am a calorie counter, one who sets her own meals. But, I just don't count any calories. I have to make my calories count and work for me. My calories need to provide me with fullness, satisfaction, volume, nutrition and they have to be calories that STAVE off cravings. Which means what I'm not eating is just as important as what I am eating.

For years, I'd heard that eliminating the "white stuff" (the starch-y carbs & sugar) was the way to lose weight. And I figured I'm doomed. Doomed. Cause' there's no way on earth I'd survive eliminating my very favorite foods - bread, pasta, rice, cookies, cakes, ice cream, etc... But after getting fed up enough, after being miserable enough, after wanting so badly enough to be fit, trim and slender, I figured I had best give it a go. And boy am I glad I finally did. Eliminating the foods I loved best (very strict in the beginning, knew I could most likely add some of them back in certain circumstances down the road) WAS the way to go. It took the descision making process away - "should I , shouldn't I?" - and lo and behold my cravings and wants for them greatly, greatly diminished.

And of course by eliminating so many of these foods, it freed me up to seek out and find new and delicious and healthy foods that I now crave and thoroughly, thoroughly enjoy. Because in the end I was willing to give up the carb-y stuffs, but I absolutely was not and will never be able to give up delicious foods.

You do have to give it some time though. Your tastes, your thoughts, your habits will not change overnight. It is a process. One that you must be committed to.

I say do it! Do it!!! What are you waiting for? Another month. 6 months? A year, more? How much more of your life are you willing to spend not being the person you were meant to be? How much longer are you going to spend wishing and hoping and dying to be fit and healthy? How much longer are you willing to not be the very best you that you can be?

I know once you make the decision to be the best you and do what it takes to get there and you start seeing and feeling the results you will be thrilled, overjoyed and elated. And you will without a doubt wonder why the heck you waited so long to do so. :hug:

Devsmama
04-16-2009, 10:56 AM
I say do it! Do it!!! What are you waiting for? Another month. 6 months? A year, more? How much more of your life are you willing to spend not being the person you were meant to be? How much longer are you going to spend wishing and hoping and dying to be fit and healthy? How much longer are you willing to not be the very best you that you can be?

I know once you make the decision to be the best you and do what it takes to get there and you start seeing and feeling the results you will be thrilled, overjoyed and elated. And you will without a doubt wonder why the heck you waited so long to do so. :hug:

I know that wasn't meant for me, but I'm :listen: and :thanks:

Jacqui_D
04-16-2009, 11:41 AM
Velveteen, I agree that WW is not right for you. I have just picked up a book called, "The Insulin-Resistance Diet" by Cheryle R. Hart, M.D. and Mary Kay Grossman, R.D. I picked it up because type 1 diabetes runs in my family and I have been told before by a nutritionist that I have hypoglycemia, so my family and personal history definitely includes problems with insulin, and insulin is related to blood glucose, which is related to hunger cues. I haven't had a chance to read the book yet, but in skimming through it, I have learned that about 1 in every 4 overweight people are insulin resistant and many don't even know it. I believe what this book is advocating is a way to eat ANY type of food or drink (including wine--I looked that up in particular before posting this) in proper portions, amounts, and types as long as it is balanced with other foods that keep it from being stored as fat. (People who are insulin resistant have trouble with carbs and need to balance them with protein.) Anyway, I have some reading to do now to learn more about it, but I thought you might be interested because this approach might help you lose weight and not feel so deprived along the way.

rockinrobin
04-16-2009, 11:59 AM
I know that wasn't meant for me, but I'm :listen: and :thanks:

Yes, yes!!!!! It was most certainly meant for you!

And each and every one of us. :grouphug:

PinkyPie
04-16-2009, 05:24 PM
I'm going to make an appt with my doctor to see if I have any insulin issues. Both of my parents have problems with Diabetes that came later on in life - I'm now 40 so it's not totally strange that I should get it checked now. Thanks for the discussion here.

Today was better. I ate more during the day and upped my protein and had less fruit. And I still made 23 points (though the points are questionable now on some things and those I will be looking into asap).