Weight Loss Support - I am spiraling out of control...




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squeak351
04-14-2009, 11:43 AM
My healthly eating has gone out the window. I feel like I am on a slippery slope and I have lost my footing.

I have been doing well the past few weeks. Joined a weight management program. I have a dietician, exercise physiologist and NP all trying to help me lose weight. They have given me great advice. It's things I know. Eat this, do this and you will lose the weight yet I continue to eat things I shouldn't eat. I find myself constantly thinking about food, and thinking if only I could eat that one more time I will stop. Then I eat it and I don't stop, and I continue repeating the same pattern.

I have done every diet under the sun and I thought I had had that defining moment when I say "Ahah" only I have lost my "Ahah" and I want to get it back.

Things have not been good this week. My FIL's cousin, who was more like a bro. to him, was murdered on Fri. Then Easter was the one year anniversary of my FIL's mother's passing. He has been so distraught. My dh is distraught. My DD is distraught. It has thrown my family into an emotional mess. I have been using this as an excuse to eat what I wanted. It has thrown me off track and now I can't get back on track.

Does anyone have any words of wisdom to help me get back that "Ahah" moment? Any support you can lend me to help me get over this bump in the road? :(:(:(:(


Glory87
04-14-2009, 11:50 AM
I'm sorry you are going through so much personal pain right now - but remind yourself that sad calories count too.

My biggest advice would be to take a deep breath and plan your week. Get all the junk out of the house. Plan a week's worth of healthy meals. Go to to the grocery store and buy everything you need to eat on plan for a week. Then, follow that plan.

For me, it's a lot easier to stay on plan when everything is easy and right at my fingertips. I also hate to waste things, so I'm more likely to eat my healthy supper if I've bought all the ingredients. It may be "easier" to just order a pizza, but I would feel bad if the stuff I bought went bad.

The other thing that really really really worked for me was cutting out (reducing significantly) sugary/processed foods. I thought I had a problem with food, it turns out, I just had a problem with SOME foods. I didn't realize how those foods affected me until I cut them out of my life. The cravings - just stopped and all the restless binging that had made me feel weak and out of control stopped too. I didn't know I was in prison until I set myself free.

Good luck.

squeak351
04-14-2009, 11:55 AM
My biggest advice would be to take a deep breath and plan your week. Get all the junk out of the house. Plan a week's worth of healthy meals. Go to to the grocery store and buy everything you need to eat on plan for a week. Then, follow that plan.

.

I do plan. In fact I have two week plan worked out that I did yesterday. It's when I come in contact with foods I shouldn't have. I find ways to get them and then eat them. Then it's extreme guilt.

The problem with getting all the junk out of the house. Not possible anymore than I already have. The only reason there was reese pb cups was because they were in DD's easter basket. The rest of the stuff I got at work or at bible study and they aren't available at my house. It's usually away from home that I have the trouble. At home there really isn't any junk to get into because I won't buy it.


Savora
04-14-2009, 11:57 AM
look at how much weight you have lost so far and how close to breaking 200 you are, that's in itself is a HUGE step, good luck and i hope you get your ahah back ;)

time2lose
04-14-2009, 12:13 PM
Stop and think about why you wanted to lose weight in the first place. Answer some questions for yourself. Are your reasons for wanting to lose valid? Do they still exist? If you let the spiral continue, what will happen?

Think about today. You only have to resist temptation today!

rachinma
04-14-2009, 12:25 PM
I have had some issues with staying on plan lately, as well. I've lost a good amount of weight and am afraid to get on the scale to see the "damage." I have had a solid two bad weeks of (almost) binge-like behavior.

I was doubled over in pain last night with burning and gas pains, praying for the sweet release of death (or vomit). Sorry to be so graphic, but I have IBS and when I do not eat healthy and mostly whole foods, I am a wreck. I woke up this morning and said, "I'm *not* going to feel this way again." I put together an eating plan/menu for the week that I can stick with from ingredients that I have in the house. I packed my lunch last night. I plan to do better.

I've seen it written here before that losing weight is not a linear journey.

Devsmama
04-14-2009, 12:33 PM
I don't have any advice, but I do offer my support and love...

MBN
04-14-2009, 01:03 PM
The rest of the stuff I got at work or at bible study and they aren't available at my house. It's usually away from home that I have the trouble.

Do you have any insight as to why it's so hard to stay on plan away from home? Maybe it's because the food is just so tempting, or maybe there's a bit of "social pressure"?

I have found for me, that it is easier to go into work and church with the mindset that I won't have any of what is offered, period. I either take my own food, avoid the food situation, or just don't eat anything there. I'm not good at having just a little -- refined carbs are a binge trigger for me. It's easier to just not go there. It felt odd at first to always say no thank you, but after a while, people get used to it. I reward myself by having my on-plan treats at home later.

I'm sorry that you are going through such a difficult time right now. It's SO easy to fall back into the comfort eating trap. I've done it more often than I care to admit. All you can do, really, is take it one hour, one minute at a time. The past slip ups are done and over. The choices you make right now are the important ones. Taking care of yourself is important, and YOU are worth it.

beerab
04-14-2009, 01:11 PM
I suggest what MBN said- either tell yourself you won't eat anything- or if you feel you will be hungry, then if it's a potluck situation take something healthy to snack on. Whenever my work has potlucks (and okay they do them ALL the time) I always bring a healthy option. Salads, low fat items, and so on. That way I can look at what's being served and pick the most healthy options and if all else fails pile up my plate with what I brought :)

Last party my work had I piled a ton of salad on my plate so while it looked full it was very low calories :)

Rosinante
04-14-2009, 01:13 PM
When life is crppy all around you, it's hard to keep all the plates spinning and remember to concentrate on your eating. I'm sorry things have been so hard. On the other hand, being unhappy about your weight doesn't do anything to help the situation.
On another hand, beating yourself up about it won't help you either.
You're right about spiral.

When you say foods you're not allowed, what way are you planning to lose weight? If you're calorie counting, nothing's not allowed. I've found the best way to start is to spend a whole week logging everything I eat/drink, without restriction. I find that concentrates my mind and I end up making healthier choices some of the time. Then at the end of the week I start reducing calories but not too an unrealistic level. By logging, I mean noting the calories and nutrients, not just writing I ate a whole roast pig today, which is what i'd love to do.

squeak351
04-14-2009, 01:22 PM
Do you have any insight as to why it's so hard to stay on plan away from home? Maybe it's because the food is just so tempting, or maybe there's a bit of "social pressure"?




I would have to say both. It's so tempting. And sometimes it social pressure. Normally I can just say no. lately I have been giving in, then I go home and it's like "Oh, well, you've blown it for the day, start again tomorrow" It's never ending and why I have been actively trying to lose weight and get healthy for 12 years now and why I have never succeded once in those 12 years.

squeak351
04-14-2009, 01:27 PM
When you say foods you're not allowed, what way are you planning to lose weight? If you're calorie counting, nothing's not allowed. I've found the best way to start is to spend a whole week logging everything I eat/drink, without restriction. .


Nothing is not allowed. I am on a calorie diet recommended by my dietician. I have been good about logging everything and being truthfull until this weekend. Then I decided not to log on Saturday, again on Sunday. I sorta did half of what I ate yesterday and I haven't even logged in to myfitnesspal today to log anything in.

I just want to understand why I do this to my self. I mean really it's me, I know it's me. No one forces me to eat anything. I am my own sabatoger!!!

I am so thankful I posted this morning. Just reading everyone's post has helped tremendously.

I am going "RIGHT NOW" to log in to myfitnespal and start logging in my food for the day.

JayEll
04-14-2009, 02:54 PM
I would say, you're doing this because you are caught in addictive behavior. You might as well be on crack! No, I'm not kidding. There is no rational reason why someone would pick up a peanut butter cup and then keep going.

The fact that you have so many helpers and still engage in that behavior is another clue. The fact that you give up logging your foods when you start overeating is another clue.

It could be that you suffer from binge eating disorder. Perhaps in addition to the dietitian, physiologist, and NP you should consider seeing a therapist/counselor who specializes in eating disorders. This may be the answer to why you can't seem to stop yourself.

I realize that when counting calories, nothing is not allowed--but I found that many foods simply could not be in my house when I started out. I would eat them, and then go on to overeat them. These are termed "trigger foods." The easiest thing was not to have them around, AND not buy them, AND not bring them home from anywhere else.

You might have to do that as well to stop yourself from engaging in this behavior! :hug:

Good luck in getting through this difficult time.

Jay

Lori Bell
04-14-2009, 03:45 PM
I'm glad to hear you are a spiritual person, for my advice will apply to you. GET ON YOUR KNEES AND PRAY! Ask for spiritual guidance. All the people in the world can't help until you turn it over. Please in the morning and Thank you at night and many HELPS! throughout the day.

Also, the advice about taking something healthy to functions is a great one. Easter morning we always have a breakfast at church. Each Sunday school student is asked to bring a dozen rolls or muffins. They also serve juice, milk and coffee. Well, last year sucked because there was nothing I could eat, so this year I helped my kids make a HUGE fruit platter. Strawberries, 3 kinds of grapes, kiwi, melons, fresh pineapple and orange slices. I bet the platter weighed 10 pounds. Guess what was the first thing gone? The Fruit. There were tons of rolls left but every thing except about 3 lonely grapes got eaten...so I ate them! People LIKE healthy food. Given the choice they will eat it.

Jayell is right IMO, some foods, like candy, are trigger food and you are better off not even looking at them. My dad was a recovering alcoholic, (12 years sober when he died). None of us in our right minds would have placed a fancy bottle of his favorite gin on the mantel for him to look at everyday. (Though after a while he would have been able to ignore it, it took him several years to get to that point.)

Sorry you are going through a hard time. :hug:

pengbear
04-14-2009, 09:03 PM
Beth, It's tough to go through emotional crises (or relive them at anniversaries) without feeling like you *deserve* a break, you deserve a donut/pizza/bagel/whatever sends you into a tailspin. That's something I really struggle with. You may need to just avoid certain trigger foods, regardless of your weightloss plan. I cannot have sugar or bread, so Atkins is perfect for me. Yes, it's just a yeast roll to some people, but to me it is a thing of evil carby beauty, and it needs about 4 friends in my tummy! Then a week of out-of-control eating to top it all off.

One of the regular posters here has something in her signature, to paraphrase, dieting is hard, maintenance is hard, being fat is hard. Pick your hard.

It has always stuck with me, that it comes down to a choice. You need to help yourself make some great choices for your health. So sorry this has been a tough time for you. Please know you're in my thoughts.:hug:

harrismm
04-14-2009, 09:15 PM
I am sorry for your pain.Its easy to self medicate when we are down and out.It is an addiction.That does not mean you cant overcome it, it means you might need some extra help.have you visited OA forum?Or chicks in control forum?Very helpful to me!!

kaebea
04-14-2009, 09:44 PM
One step at a time. that is how to get back on track. No matter how tough life gets, try to keep at least one good habit going. Working out with dumbells, 10 minutes on the treadmill. a walk around the neighborhood. Anything as long as it keeps a good habit going in your daily life. Don't go for perfection, just go for something.

For addictive food patterns, I think you would find an elimination diet helpful. If carbs are your weakness, as they are for many, Avoiding simple carbs like candy, white bread, potatoes, chips, anything that triggers a binge, may help.

Also look into food sensitivities or allergies. the foods we crave are often the foods that we have food allergies or food sensitivities to.

Ladybugged
04-15-2009, 04:04 PM
And your sister only lives just down the road and is but a phone call away. Those cupcakes on Sunday didn't help, huh?

I've known you your whole life and I know you are much stronger than you ever give yourself credit for. The amount of weight/inches you've lost over the last couple of years is amazing and you're now the "skinny" sister. I know you have had a rough blow last week, but God brought you to it, He'll see you through it. We're always going to have a struggle with weight. Its in our genes. And we both know there isn't an easy out. You'll get your motivation back and maybe in the process help me find mine again.

I love you little sis and I'm sorry things are so crummy right now. Lots of hugs!

squeak351
04-16-2009, 12:07 PM
My, how the tears will fall.

Genes, habit, learned behavior we have it all don't we. The first thing I have to shake is the "Why me?" I know it could be worse but I feel like I struggle so much and I make the stuggle such a big part of my life I am miserable. I am determined to fight through it. The way I see it, the only other option I have is to give up and die.

(I sent you a text- you really should come over tom. night and we can scrapbook. I have tons of stuff so just bring some pictures. )