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Old 04-13-2009, 09:43 AM   #1  
Shairing her ESH...
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Default Some days...I wish I hadn't come on 3FC....

I've been on this site for a long time. And there are just some days that I come on here and feel WORSE rather than better. And today is one of those days.

It is SO HARD to come on here and see people brag about shrinking down into a new decade, or wearing smaller sizes, or losing a HUUUUUGE chunk of weight in a short amount of time, or....you get my drift.

Why is it that some people just MELT like snowmen in July, while I struggle YEAR after YEAR after freakin' YEAR???

I don't mean to diminish the accomplishments of folks here, and this is not aimed at any one person in particular. And I don't say this because I want people to stop posting their successes.

I am just HURT, and I need to let it out. And I really hate being a grown woman and feeling JEALOUSY like this. It is such a ridiculous and immature emotion.

Thanks for listening.
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Old 04-13-2009, 09:57 AM   #2  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jen415 View Post
Why is it that some people just MELT like snowmen in July, while I struggle YEAR after YEAR after freakin' YEAR???
I understand. Part of my problem has been lack of committment to staying on-plan and lack of exercise. But, I also have a very slow metabolism. When I was younger, I lost weight easily. Now, I struggle for each and every pound. Sometimes, it doesn't seem fair, but it's the hand we've been dealt so we must work with it.
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Old 04-13-2009, 10:01 AM   #3  
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Oh Jen no!

You are not alone! Look at this thread
http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/showthread.php?t=168985

I used to be a featherweight. I used to be a maintainer.
It does feel ... weird to post at 3FC again. Who the heck is going to listen to me and as for learning ... like I don't know ...

I envy the featherweights. I envy the maintainers. I envy you and would like to say I'd lost 18 pounds.

I sturdily dislike hearing that it's normal to yoyo ... it's normal to backslide ... it's normal to lose slowly at my age ... weight loss is not linear (I even tell people that)

I don't want to be normal. I want to be slimmer

And I thank you ... I actually feel much better for having let that out. And I hope you do too.
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Old 04-13-2009, 10:06 AM   #4  
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I am so with you. I *am* happy for others, but I am not ALWAYS happy for others... if that makes sense. I too am a grown woman that just feels jealousy and can only grumble about my occassional accomplishments.

Like Susan I have been in the maintainers and featherweights. But now? I'm just fat. And I have been for YEARS. And I am responsible for this, but that doesn't keep me from feeling sad and wishing it could have been different.

You are not alone and WE will also be one of those successes! You'll see!! But it's OK to not always be excited for others - we have to take the reigns though and push ourselves in the right direction.
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Old 04-13-2009, 10:13 AM   #5  
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I feel your pain. I'm working and working and this weekend I almost felt like giving up. But the one thing that 3fc has taught me for a lifetime is to not give up! You can get there! Sure it's taken me forever and a DAY to lose the small amount of weight I have- but I'm out of size 18s and I'm not disgusted with myself like I used to be. If that's not progress then I don't know what is

Don't be so hard on yourself- look at your accomplishments so far and focus on that

Last edited by beerab; 04-13-2009 at 01:53 PM.
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Old 04-13-2009, 10:16 AM   #6  
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Well, I've been working on this for 3 years now. Oh, yes VERY jealous sometimes of those on the boards (and in my real life) who can lose faster. I'm good at fake smiles.
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Old 04-13-2009, 10:25 AM   #7  
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There's this guy I work with (and maybe have a teensy crush on) who asked me awhile back how much weight I've lost, *just* so he could brag about how he's dropped 30 pounds in like two months. I wanted to kick him in the shins.

Sure, guys lose faster. But most women lose faster than me too, so I feel your pain! Nearly three years it's taken me to hit the halfway mark, basically. I was feeling pretty good about closing in on the 160s after a six-month stall at 179/180, then I saw some pictures of myself that my sister took yesterday, and I look just gross. Still huge and my arms...ugh. Don't get me started on my arms. It's so frustrating, even though I *know* I've come a long way and I'm so much more comfortable now than I was at 245.

That doesn't make it any less frustrating to move at a snail's pace when others seem to 'get it' right away and just steamroll their way to goal. I have two good weight loss weeks a month, then two weeks of fighting TOM and ravenous hunger/carb cravings, even though I have been off refined carbs for AGES. The cravings just never go away the way they're supposed to/do for other people. It's so not fair. Nothing I can do about it, of course, but I still stamp my feet sometimes and whine about it.

Last edited by thistoo; 04-13-2009 at 10:26 AM.
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Old 04-13-2009, 10:27 AM   #8  
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Jen, I don't want you to be discouraged. I want health for you too. How can I help? I am one PM away!
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Old 04-13-2009, 10:33 AM   #9  
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I just wanted to say that I really admire your honesty, and hang in there - good things come to good people in good time
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Old 04-13-2009, 10:40 AM   #10  
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Yes... I feel like you sometimes.. I come here and hear some girls talking about losing 2 to 3 pounds a week... It take me for ever to lose a pound!!! But I refuse to give up...
And good for them if they can do it... It doesn’t mean I have to quit.
I just think that one day you are on top, other you are on the bottom...
Who knows where they will be tomorrow?? maybe they will go the same path than you... (hope not, though). But the truth is we all struggle, one way or another... and we all know what we have to go through to be “normal” and that is what make me feel good for them even though I admit having this jealousy of their accomplishments.
So what I do is try to make their statements a motivation, not a discouragement...
Hey, hang on there... You have 18 pounds gone... I am jealous!!! But I’ll get there too someday

Last edited by belezura; 04-13-2009 at 10:46 AM.
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Old 04-13-2009, 10:42 AM   #11  
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I feel a little differently, but I understand where everyone's coming from, of course.

Sometimes *I* get annoyed/irritated/etc. at people who complain about losing slowly, or at people who are happy about losing steadily, etc., etc., just because their high weight is no where near mine. So it's not the message, it's the poster. Except that it's not.

I'm not annoyed at them ~ or, I am for like 2 seconds then I stop and think ~ I'm really annoyed at MYSELF. I think, WHY did you let your weight get up so high?? Then I get really mad at myself, and beat myself up ~ again, for only a few seconds.

So when I get annoyed at other people, it really has nothing to do with those other people at all. I'm annoyed at myself. And I truly try not to be jealous of anyone over anything, including speed or amount of weight lost. Envy is one of the seven deadly sins for a reason. It's not a healthy emotion. So I work very hard not to experience it. Sometimes I fail, but then I just try again.
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Old 04-13-2009, 10:52 AM   #12  
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I am right there with you. I've been trickling along... still losing, but so slowly. I seem to skip every other week with one week losing less than a pound (thank goodness for a digital scale that shows tenths of a pound) and the next week, pulling a great big number like... oh... 1 pound.

I don't see any alternative, though. I can't stop because then I'll start gaining. So, again, I'm with you. Happy for those who are dropping big numbers, but still envious.
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Old 04-13-2009, 11:23 AM   #13  
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Well, excuse me. I worked my butt off to lose 83 pounds and I didn't do it overnight. I lost it one pound at a time, just like everyone else. Some of us lose more slowly than others, that is just a fact of life. And some of us work really hard at at losing and lose that way. Some of us start and restart many times before being successful. That includes me. I say if you are successful al losing you have earned the right to brag.
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Old 04-13-2009, 11:29 AM   #14  
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it's not about having the right to brag! of course when you've lost you want to tell people about it. The thing is, and DCHound said it best... if there are some of us who are annoyed or feel jealous or asking "why not me?" we all KNOW that it comes down to us. When I am annoyed, that's it, I'm actually annoyed at myself. There is also the right to feel the emotions we feel and to be annoyed or jealous, even if it's not justified!
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Old 04-13-2009, 11:35 AM   #15  
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Well since we ALL know that I JUST posted about getting into a new decade, fitting into smaller clothes AND melting like a snowman in July... and even though you said this was not directed AT me obviously I FEEL as if it is. For good reasons.

I've struggled. For 12 years. I'm sorry you feel bad. I'm sorry my presence and postings make you feel bad. Your post has left me with a VERY bad taste in my mouth and I now feel as if I CAN'T come here for support. That makes me sad. I'm glad that you feel better for ranting but in doing so you have hurt my feelings immeasurably.

I'm taking a break. I never knew there was a whole slew that felt the same that you do

I'm sorry.
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