Weight Loss Support - Question about family support
04-04-2009, 07:56 AM
Hey there, I've been a member here for quite a while, but have realised again recently how valuable this site really is! So I'm back again for my 3984th try at weight loss, but this time it's for real. It feels different from the other times.
Anyway, I'm feel pretty confident this time around but one issue is alwaysthe same. Family support. I'm 18 years old and still live with my parents. Despite them being verbally supportive (sometimes) they aren't willing to change their eating habits as well and still insist on buying icecreams, chocolates, chips, heavy calorie dinners and it just makes this process that much harder for me.
I've tried convincing them to pick healthy alternatives, which they do sometimes, i'm thankful for that, but still the bad foods are in the kitchen. Almost every resource I've looked into says one of the first steps is a total kitchen overhaul, get rid of any temptation. But I'm notable to do this because of my parents stubborness.
I've tried talking with them, explaining it makes it much more difficult for me and letting them know I don't feel supported and how irritated I feel by their hypocrisy (alwaystelling me I need to do something about my weight). but I get dismissed everytime with "I don't feel like talking about this right now " and then they just end the conversation.
I'm at a loss at what to do and really need the help an advice from anyone here. Unfortunately my shifts at work have been very liited so I'm not even able to buy my own food. I just feel as if I'm being set up to fail but it's something that's out of my control.
Please please help.
I really don't know what to do.
04-04-2009, 09:08 AM
Hi Mammy, can you go grocery shopping with your parent to help pick out healthy foods? I am on a diet but my husband is not so I have all the junk in the kitchen too. An overhaul of the cupboard is not necessary, only an overhaul of what you put in your mouth! I know it's tempting, but if you can go grocery shopping and pick out healthy foods, then you can take the non-refrigerated items to your room, and put the refrigerated items in one section of the frig that you can zone into whenever you open the door. And if your parent won't cook you a healthy meal, then cook one on your own. You have to start doing for yourself if your parents won't do for you. I don't think they are refusing to help you. Basically they are just being lazy in their ways and don't want to have to change. Nevertheless, ask your parent if they can wait to go grocery shopping until you are able to go too, and when there, start picking out healthy things and putting them in the cart! Good luck!
04-04-2009, 09:17 AM
rearrange the kitchen....lol put foods you can have at eye level in the fridge and cupboards so your more likely the grab the healthy stuff. i live alone now but when my daughter was here she ate anything but healthy so i got healthy foods i could cook seperately....vacuum sealed fish at walmart is 3.00 a bag and each peice is individually sealed so i grab what i need and make it with veggies and a sweet potato. theres lots of stuff you can get in individual servings
04-04-2009, 09:24 AM
Oh, also, if you have to make your own meals, pick up some Ziploc Zip 'n Steam bags (next to the other Ziploc bag products). You can steam foods in less than 4 minutes or less in the microwave! Great for veggies and fish!
04-04-2009, 09:51 AM
You both make a lot of sense.
Sound like good ideas I'll defiitely try.
I guess it just means a little more self-restraint, I'll just keep reminding myself it's so so so worth it.
04-04-2009, 10:13 AM
Hi welcome back! :)
I have a family of growing boys and a husband, and while I TRY to do most of the grocery shopping and bring home only healthy food, my husband and the boys end up doing their own fair share of shopping. There are temptations always around. I can't make the rest of my family change because I have decided I want to. Also, it does help not having junk in the house, but if I seriously want to binge, (which has happened a few times in the last year) it doesn't matter where the food is. I find what I want even if I have to drive 15 miles to get it. I had to take charge of my own life. I cook healthy and prepare healthy snacks, that's all I can do for them, I will not be the food police. You are a grown woman. at 18 you should be old enough to drive, have at least a part time job, shop and cook your own foods.
I guess what I'm getting at is unless your parents hold you down and spoon dumpling into your mouth, it's not their responsibility to give you what you want. You are an adult and you need to take control.
04-05-2009, 06:15 AM
I'm in a similar situation. I'm 16 with a family that is supportive but insists on buying the ice cream and corn dogs and chocolate and would rather order pizza or drive to McDonalds than cook anything even remotely healthy.
I'm thinking; If I lose all this weight NOT eating what they're buying, they'll see what it can do and follow my example.
I've been grabbing my own shopping cart when I go with my parents to the store. They basically give me a budget and I get what I'm going to eat for the week. Because If I see them buying poptarts or ice cream I'm going to know it's there and start craving it. So if you focus just on what you pick out and ignore everything else it will help!
04-05-2009, 08:13 AM
Life is always going to have temptations, and although it's helpful if the tempting foods aren't around, we have to get our head into the game.
If it helps to think of it as "their food" and "my food," then by all means do so, and even separate it in the cupboards if you and your mom can work it out. Otherwise, yes, you have to learn restraint.
I live with someone who has never needed to lose weight, and although her foods are largely healthy (as you might expect), she does get to choose whatever foods she wants to eat. That's basically not my business.
Do not worry about what your parents do. Don't try to convince them they should change. The only thing you need to be concerned with is what you do and how you can eat for weight loss given your circumstances.
Good luck! :cheer2: :cheer2:
04-05-2009, 08:47 AM
Thanks to everyone who replied. It was really helpful and I am feeling a little bit silly now, but in a good way. Ahah.
Of course it's do-able. It'll only make mestronger in the end as well :]