Weight Loss Support - The addictiion we can't live without! help ME




CakeBatter
04-01-2009, 10:02 PM
I really wanted ice cream yesterday. So I bought some while at the grocery store and measured out 2 servings (6pts). Not bad considering I had 10 left over. It was sooo good but as soon as I finished it, I felt terribly guilty. I was totally freaking out! I know that was the only "sinful" thing I had for weeks. I know that I worked out 10 times in the last 14 days. However I can't get out my head that I made bad "fat people" decisions. I was so mad at myself. However I know that is not a healthy way of thinking. When do we get over food? It is like no other addiction because we need food to stay alive. There is no avoiding it. I am scared to death to know that once I reach goal (once I am maintaining) I have to make normal decisions. I mean I don't consider what I do a diet it my life, it is how I live. I know this post is turning into a ramble. But when do I feel it okay to splurge every now and again w/out feeling like I have ruined all my efforts.


Jacqui_D
04-01-2009, 10:15 PM
CakeBatter, I used to feel guilty about the occasional fat food, until I came to understand that it helps to trick the metabolism so that it will continue to run high! If all you ever eat are healthy low-cal foods, your metabolism will eventually slow down to match your input. By eating an occasional fat food, it jumpstarts your metabolism again. Of course, the key word is "occasional." But honestly, like once a week is perfectly acceptable! You don't have to change; you just have to change the way you think about it. No need to feel guilty at all! You're doing your weight loss efforts a favor!

JayEll
04-01-2009, 10:19 PM
But you didn't go over your points. You're fine! Just about everyone likes ice cream, and a lot of people have some now and then. It's that you can't eat a lot of it all the time--that's what leads to gaining weight.

You fit it in with your program, and there is just no way you ruined your efforts by having 6 points of ice cream. Forget about it--go on with your plan!

Jay


kaplods
04-01-2009, 11:14 PM
Some foods are evil, and we become evil when we eat those foods. Some foods are virtuous, and we become virtuous by eating those foods.

Sounds irrational, doesn't it? Then why is it ever so easy to believe?

Food is neither good nor evil. In fact, there is even no such thing (in a vaccuum) as healthy food either. Now of course food can be healthy - but no one food is, because any food can become an unhealthy food, if is eaten to the exclusion of other healthy foods. It's all got to be taken in the wider context.

That's difficult though, because we're taught to think of food in a way we know is untrue (yet it's taught so effectively, that we suspect it MUST be true) - food (at least anything that tastes good) must be evil, after all we talk about food as if it were Sinfully delicious -decadent - indulgent - we talk of "being good" when being on our food plan, and "being bad," when eat something off plan (even just a tiny bit).

How do we get over those feelings? We reteach ourselves - we act as though we have two minds or personalities (because we do - at least two), and we have to make sure that the strongest part of ourselves acts as parent-teacher-best friend to the weaker and misguided parts.

I've been working on this whole weight management process since I was five years old (I turned 43 last week), and I'm finally getting pretty good at taking the "evil" and even the "naughty," and all of the other nasty judgements out of the entire weight and food issues. Weight and health management are skills - handy skills to have, but I don't have to wrap my self-worth and my conscience up in them, unless I choose to. When I know I'm mistaken in my thinking, I can tell myself so and move on.

The biggest problem with the food guilt cycle is that it tends to be a vicious one. The "customary" response to food guilt is to feel "what's the use," and to console oneself with even more "bad" foods, berate ourselves for making more bad choices, be more convinced of our unworthiness and perhaps even inability to make good ones (which we prove by making more self-destructive choices).

I'm trying to learn to avoid higher carb foods. I've been doing it for over a year now, and having mixed success (I'd say I fail more than I succeed, but that's obviously not true, because I'm succeeding enough to have lost 66 lbs, about 46 of them in the last 12 to 16 months). Pretty slow progress, but progress nonetheless.

In no other time in my life would I have considered 46 lbs in a year "success" - I would have called it pitiful - failure even, but if I'm going to use that definition, I plan on failing my way to my goal weight.

I see weight management, more like learning to play the piano. If I choose not to learn - or to stop learning, I won't be a bad person. I may never be a concert pianist (and that's ok, too). I've failed in the past because I didn't use methods that were successful for me, not because I was stupid or bad. It doesn't matter that I'm a slower learner than many people - and it doesn't even matter that I'm a slower learner than I was in my youth, what matters now is gaining the skill I want to have.

I think one of the reasons weight loss attempts are so often abandoned, is because we, if we follow the traditional path, make the process so miserable that no sane person can handle the prolonged agony. If you make the process pleasant, enjoyable, even fun - a way you are pampering (not punishing) yourself, there's no reason to dread the process.

A turning point for me was my doctor pointing out that even my slow weight loss puts me at the "head of the pack," if weight loss were to be compared to a race. Most people give in to the frustration and quit, so just staying in the race means you're succeeding. I've maintained my first 20 lb loss for three years - so I've been on a maintaining or losing "streak" for three years, even though it took me another two years to lose pound number 21. Still, while I can always find the dark cloud, the silver lining is still there. Ignoring the actual numbers and rate of loss, three years without a significant weight gain is an amazing "record" for me. I can lose sight of that easily, if I let myself fall into the traditional pattern of looking at the worst possible side of things.

All I can say, is talk to yourself. Tell yourself (over and over if necessary) what you know is true and want to believe. Eventually, you will believe it, and it will open a whole new world for you. One in which you're seeing the progress, not the failure in the skills you are gaining.

teawithsunshine
04-02-2009, 03:52 AM
Hey there! :)

Tip of the day: when you have an ice cream craving... just go to the store & buy a SINGLE bar of ice cream. That way, you're just eating the serving right there and best of all, NO temptations to bring home! :cool:

Cravings suck, I agree :) But it's best to have a little bit of what you crave & get it over with instead of stalling too long and then go for a crazy ice cream binge ;)

~ tea

CakeBatter
04-02-2009, 10:36 AM
Tea I gave in a little and then put the ice cream is 1/2C servings containers and froze them so if the issure ever arises again it is measured out.

Kaplods You are right there is no evil food or healthy food...just food. I am pretty good about moving past it and continuing on my journey. I just can not seem to get past the sulking part...before moving on

jacqui You are right. IT sort of shocks the body. I just wish I could through the rest of life w/out ever having another craving

Jayell I have moved on...thanx. I still went to bed with 2 points left over....

Lori Bell
04-02-2009, 11:44 AM
The addictiion we can't live without! help ME


LOL...the title of your thread was a little misleading. ;) Because we all know we CAN live without "ice cream".

If you can have 2 servings worth of ice cream, (which is basically empty sugar calories) and fit it into your plan, and not experience massive cravings knowing it is in your freezer just waiting for you, then you are doing something that most people, (even normal weight people) can't do. You shouldn't feel guilty, you should be jumping for joy that you are one in a million that can STOP after a treat and move on. Yea for you!

QuilterInVA
04-02-2009, 11:47 AM
You always hear the "people who are alcoholics don't have to drink alchol but we have to eat and I'm addicted to ..." The crux of the matter is, we don't have to eat fattening foods, sweets and fast foods. Just as alcoholics chose other beverages, we can chose other foods.

sweetandspicy
04-02-2009, 11:55 AM
Cake batter

i have been craving ice cream for the past week. Tuesday night I just tasted a little as I was gettting some for the kids. so at the Grocery yesterday I found Weight watcher had icecream in small servings that was 2 points each. It was actually good and took care of my cravings. Im not doing WW but I thought if I was going to eat ice cream hopefully it was a good choice.

daydreamer
04-02-2009, 12:07 PM
Everything is okay in moderation. A treat now and again is nothing to feel guilty about!

CakeBatter
04-02-2009, 12:23 PM
You always hear the "people who are alcoholics don't have to drink alchol but we have to eat and I'm addicted to ..." The crux of the matter is, we don't have to eat fattening foods, sweets and fast foods. Just as alcoholics chose other beverages, we can chose other foods.

I understand what you mean and majority of the time (90 percent) I don't indulge in fattening foods. However there are not gonna just be a tray of cigarettes at work for the pot luck but there will be fattening foods. There probably won't be alcohol just laying around but there will be those cookiew. Anyone with any addiction wether it be clothes, cigarettes, alcohol or whatever people encounter time when they have to make a decision. I just feel like the fattening food is more readily available no matter what the situation.

Lori Sorry you were mislead. The post wasn't exactly about ice cream as it was bout my feelings

Mommyof six Good Choice

ContessaN
04-02-2009, 12:23 PM
I love ice cream so I keep Smart Ones Sundaes in my freezer. They taste GREAT with only 150-170 cals each. My favorites are the peanut butter and the mint chocolate chip sundaes. YUM!

Shannon in ATL
04-02-2009, 12:46 PM
Cake Batter - I tend to keep my freezer stocked with skinny cows and slim-a-bears, I like an occasional ice cream snack and DH craves it a lot. If there isn't a good alternative in the freezer he will get in the car and drive to Sonic when the craving hits. This weekend I bought Edy's Light Samoa ice cream, and realized I still have trouble when it is an entire tub... I'm going to portion it out into 1/2 cup servings like you did, great idea! I'm big on not telling myself I can't have certain foods - when I can't have something is when I tend to go way over the top with it...I just need to set up where what I have available is the better of the options! :)

On the question of when do you feel okay to splurge now and again? It depends on the person I guess. I still feel guilty when I splurge on things sometimes, sometimes I don't. Like you, even if I keep within my calorie limits for the day and have been doing great with exercise, I often beat myself up for what I consider a bad choice. What I've discovered is that if I plan in the indulgence at the beginning of the day I don't feel bad, or if I look at my calories and have room and make a conscious decision to indulge I'm okay. If it is something I feel like I'm giving in to at the end of the day for some external reason I feel like I have 'sinned' somehow. Yesterday I went 150 calories over my target with nonsense food and have been pretty critical about it to myself. As I read your post I thought about it and realized I really didn't go over my calorie redline for the day, only my calorie comfort zone, and still I beat myself up. A mallomar and a fun size pack of skittles isn't going to make me gain ten pounds, but giving in to the stress influence and eating whatever comes to hand might. That is what I need to work on - the stress reaction. And, I need to remember that I'm only human and sometimes I'm going to go overboard.

In your case, you are doing great with diet and exercise. A little monitored ice cream consumption isn't going to hurt you at all. You may even find that planning it in every so often makes it easier for you not to eat it other times, you may not. Moral of the long story here, don't feel bad about the ice cream. It looks like you handled it very well, better than I would have if I had the cravings without something already in the freezer. I would have been in the drive thru at Sonic... :o

chicadee76
04-02-2009, 01:19 PM
I know how you feel. I feel a lot times that I just want to quit eating altogether - not possible. I mess up often. I don't binge or anything. However, I eat things I shouldn't and then I don't do the work to burn the calories of eating it. I crave stuff too. My weakness isn't for ice cream, I love pastries and cookies. I also love cheese. The thing I keep trying to tell myself is if I fall off the saddle, get back on it. Keep doing it until I remain on it.

CakeBatter
04-02-2009, 02:15 PM
Cake Batter - I tend to keep my freezer stocked with skinny cows and slim-a-bears, I like an occasional ice cream snack and DH craves it a lot. If there isn't a good alternative in the freezer he will get in the car and drive to Sonic when the craving hits. This weekend I bought Edy's Light Samoa ice cream, and realized I still have trouble when it is an entire tub... I'm going to portion it out into 1/2 cup servings like you did, great idea! I'm big on not telling myself I can't have certain foods - when I can't have something is when I tend to go way over the top with it...I just need to set up where what I have available is the better of the options! :)

On the question of when do you feel okay to splurge now and again? It depends on the person I guess. I still feel guilty when I splurge on things sometimes, sometimes I don't. Like you, even if I keep within my calorie limits for the day and have been doing great with exercise, I often beat myself up for what I consider a bad choice. What I've discovered is that if I plan in the indulgence at the beginning of the day I don't feel bad, or if I look at my calories and have room and make a conscious decision to indulge I'm okay. If it is something I feel like I'm giving in to at the end of the day for some external reason I feel like I have 'sinned' somehow. Yesterday I went 150 calories over my target with nonsense food and have been pretty critical about it to myself. As I read your post I thought about it and realized I really didn't go over my calorie redline for the day, only my calorie comfort zone, and still I beat myself up. A mallomar and a fun size pack of skittles isn't going to make me gain ten pounds, but giving in to the stress influence and eating whatever comes to hand might. That is what I need to work on - the stress reaction. And, I need to remember that I'm only human and sometimes I'm going to go overboard.

In your case, you are doing great with diet and exercise. A little monitored ice cream consumption isn't going to hurt you at all. You may even find that planning it in every so often makes it easier for you not to eat it other times, you may not. Moral of the long story here, don't feel bad about the ice cream. It looks like you handled it very well, better than I would have if I had the cravings without something already in the freezer. I would have been in the drive thru at Sonic... :o

Freakin awesome Shannon you get it! Exactly!

Chicadee - I love pastries too:D

colormerd47
04-02-2009, 05:41 PM
Well Cakes,
It looks as though I am not going to have to add my two cents becasue Shannon did a great job. So there you go.

I will say this, I do understand what you are saying and how you feel about it. Even though you know you can have it, especially if you have the allotted the points, afterwards, you wish you had not, some where in our minds we think we are sabatoging all of our previous efforts. At some point, as soon as you start to feel guiltly, redirect your thinking onto all of the positives you have accomplished that day and focus on that and maybe just maybe, you will began to see that you deserved that treat. I have seen you on other threads and you are such a motivator, I know you can do this. I will be praying for you.

Ags

WaterRat
04-02-2009, 05:51 PM
I understand what you mean and majority of the time (90 percent) I don't indulge in fattening foods.

But, really, no food is fattening by itself. It's how much of it we eat. :) Yes, some foods are higher in calories, and we choose not to eat them because we can have so much for food for the same calories by choosing other foods. It makes much more sense to have a small serving of a higher calorie food (like premium ice cream) and eat more of lower calorie foods than to eat a lot of the higher calorie food and perhaps not be satisfied. Now if you want to talk about the health benefits of various foods, that's a whole other discussion. :)

Buttercup
04-02-2009, 10:28 PM
Boy, this thread came at a good time for me. I have been feeling awful, awful, awful because I gave in and at a blueberry donut today. I have been strong and not even wanted to cheat but today it was like I was on autopilot. Ugh. But...I will forgive myself and I did go to the gym afterwards. It's just that I know it is empty calories and I could have eaten a whole lot of good food instead of those calories. BUT...sigh

Jen415
04-03-2009, 09:28 AM
Some foods are evil, and we become evil when we eat those foods. Some foods are virtuous, and we become virtuous by eating those foods.

Sounds irrational, doesn't it? Then why is it ever so easy to believe?

Food is neither good nor evil. In fact, there is even no such thing (in a vaccuum) as healthy food either. Now of course food can be healthy - but no one food is, because any food can become an unhealthy food, if is eaten to the exclusion of other healthy foods. It's all got to be taken in the wider context.

That's difficult though, because we're taught to think of food in a way we know is untrue (yet it's taught so effectively, that we suspect it MUST be true) - food (at least anything that tastes good) must be evil, after all we talk about food as if it were Sinfully delicious -decadent - indulgent - we talk of "being good" when being on our food plan, and "being bad," when eat something off plan (even just a tiny bit).

How do we get over those feelings? We reteach ourselves - we act as though we have two minds or personalities (because we do - at least two), and we have to make sure that the strongest part of ourselves acts as parent-teacher-best friend to the weaker and misguided parts.

I've been working on this whole weight management process since I was five years old (I turned 43 last week), and I'm finally getting pretty good at taking the "evil" and even the "naughty," and all of the other nasty judgements out of the entire weight and food issues. Weight and health management are skills - handy skills to have, but I don't have to wrap my self-worth and my conscience up in them, unless I choose to. When I know I'm mistaken in my thinking, I can tell myself so and move on.

The biggest problem with the food guilt cycle is that it tends to be a vicious one. The "customary" response to food guilt is to feel "what's the use," and to console oneself with even more "bad" foods, berate ourselves for making more bad choices, be more convinced of our unworthiness and perhaps even inability to make good ones (which we prove by making more self-destructive choices).

I'm trying to learn to avoid higher carb foods. I've been doing it for over a year now, and having mixed success (I'd say I fail more than I succeed, but that's obviously not true, because I'm succeeding enough to have lost 66 lbs, about 46 of them in the last 12 to 16 months). Pretty slow progress, but progress nonetheless.

In no other time in my life would I have considered 46 lbs in a year "success" - I would have called it pitiful - failure even, but if I'm going to use that definition, I plan on failing my way to my goal weight.

I see weight management, more like learning to play the piano. If I choose not to learn - or to stop learning, I won't be a bad person. I may never be a concert pianist (and that's ok, too). I've failed in the past because I didn't use methods that were successful for me, not because I was stupid or bad. It doesn't matter that I'm a slower learner than many people - and it doesn't even matter that I'm a slower learner than I was in my youth, what matters now is gaining the skill I want to have.

I think one of the reasons weight loss attempts are so often abandoned, is because we, if we follow the traditional path, make the process so miserable that no sane person can handle the prolonged agony. If you make the process pleasant, enjoyable, even fun - a way you are pampering (not punishing) yourself, there's no reason to dread the process.

A turning point for me was my doctor pointing out that even my slow weight loss puts me at the "head of the pack," if weight loss were to be compared to a race. Most people give in to the frustration and quit, so just staying in the race means you're succeeding. I've maintained my first 20 lb loss for three years - so I've been on a maintaining or losing "streak" for three years, even though it took me another two years to lose pound number 21. Still, while I can always find the dark cloud, the silver lining is still there. Ignoring the actual numbers and rate of loss, three years without a significant weight gain is an amazing "record" for me. I can lose sight of that easily, if I let myself fall into the traditional pattern of looking at the worst possible side of things.

All I can say, is talk to yourself. Tell yourself (over and over if necessary) what you know is true and want to believe. Eventually, you will believe it, and it will open a whole new world for you. One in which you're seeing the progress, not the failure in the skills you are gaining.

I couldn't pick out which part was the best, so I quoted the whole damn thing! BRILLIANT, Colleen!!

CakeBatter
04-03-2009, 09:54 AM
Buttercup _ WTG. THat is the way I handled it. I let it go and went to bed. Then the next kicked some ice cream a** at the gym!!!!