This isn't about weight loss but I just need to vent. I am in tears and so upset and furious right now.
My husband is friends with his ex girlfriend. I don't think I am insane to not really like that. I think almost any woman would be uncool with that.
She was his first serious girlfriend. He was 16 and she was in her 20's... She pretty much used him to make herself feel better and then broke his heart. But kept him in her life. Whenever she was feeling depressed or sad or fighting with her boyfriend she would call him or talk to him online and once she felt better would stop talking to him for a few months to half a year. Only coming back when she needed him again. She is also flirty and one of those girls who is always telling everyone how much she loves them and such.
I tried to be the understanding girlfriend besides that. I don't have great self-confidence and I am a very jealous person. He says she is just a friend now and wants to stay in touch, they were friends before they dated and he really values the friendship he says. So I tried so so very hard to be understanding and not be that girlfriend who tells him no you can't talk to her.
But it just ended up eating away at me. I hated it and no matter how much I tried it just hurt me and made me worry and jealous. And then things got really bad...
He being an idiot and not wanting to make me upset decided to start hiding it from me... He was being sneaky talking to her. and that made it all so much worse. After much fighting I just told him I couldn't deal with it and he said he would stop talking to her.
He did for a while and then like usual she was having problems and contacted him and they began talking again. It was really bad with him sneaking it. He would get text messages all the time and delete them, he would get IMs on his computer and close them if I came over, etc... obviously I am a smart girl and can tell he was talking to her and I confronted him and we fought alot more. I found out that when we had gotten married he never told her he got married. Which is just odd huh? He said he didn't wanna rub her nose in his happiness because her and her fiance just broke up like 3-6 months before we got married.
I told him he had to then stop talking to her for good or I was gone because I couldn't deal with this and it was hurting our relationship. He told me he promised that he would stop. and maybe a few weeks to a month later he was talking to her again!! He lied to me. He broke my heart and any trust I had right then.
I was ready to leave and he promised again that he woudl really stop talking to her this time and that he loved me and wanted me over her friendship.
Well that was maybe a half a year ago or so. And we got into a big fight about something else and I don't know why but I just asked him if he was still talking to her. I was like why as soon as u get home do you check your e-mail when I know no one else e-mails him except about bills and it just doesn't make ppl wanna check it so much... So he says yes the other day she texted him when he had the phone which is weird because I almost always have the phone so she just happened to text him when he had it?? and he says he went and checked out her facebook because he wanted to see how she was doing??
I just feel like i hit a brick wall. On top of all that he accuses me of snooping to know that he was talking to her which I really didn't, idk maybe i am psychic lol but I didn't snoop and it makes me wonder what I was supposed to be snooping through? Is he lying to me and he did something else that he isn't telling me about that i might have seen?
No yes in the past i have snooped. I read a box of old letters she sent him that he had kept and I read his e-mails before. I told him that I did it. I never lied to him about any of it. I am very insecure, and that doesn't make up for what I did but at the same time if he stopped hiding things from me... Every single relationship in my family has ended in divorce and/or people cheating. I don't really have alot of trust
It is very difficult for me.
I am just so upset and confused about what to do. I feel like he just doesn't get it no matter how much I try to talk to him about it. Even if I try my best to be understanding with it I am always gonna wonder in the back of my mind and that is just gonna hurt our relationship. He says they are just friends and nothing more, though while I don't think he would go to her I do think she would jump at the chance to get back with him. and I am jealous of their friendship even. Before when he was talking to her, he would come home and right away start texting her or talking to her online about something when he wasn't even talking to me or opening up to me at all.
and now she just texted him but i had the phone and was so stupid and texted her back that I would really like it if she would just stop talking to my husband. kay? thanks.
I am sure she just e-mailed him to tell him that too now ugh. She doesn't live in the same town- thank god but is only like an hour or two drive away.
I don't know what to do
I am having enough stress in my life and in our relationship that we don't need this on top of it all. why does it have to be so hard?
if you read all that thank you for listening to me vent lol