I did not have my scale since Sunday and I got it back today and it was exactly the same. 148 pounds. I have been exercising like a mad woman and it's still exactly the same. I know this can be common, but I'm wondering if it is because of my crazy calorie intake. I have finally made it up to 800 calories a day, from 500 all last week, and I'm trying to get back up to 1200, but this is stressing me out. Am I going to see weight gain for a while as I go back up? I was at 500 or 600 for a week. I'm really freaking out.
On an unrelated note, I have another Q. I don't really know where to put this, because there isn't really an eating disorder thread, so I guess I'll just ask here and if I need to separate it into another question, please let me know. I've been seeing my Dr. and I met the dietitian twice in the past 10 days and they were not very helpful. My Dr. had no idea what to tell me, and the dietitian told me to stop worrying so much and just eat. Finally, in desperation, I saw a therapist, who says I could possible have ED-NOS, but she's sure I'll be fine. It seems like they aren't really taking me seriously because I look "normal".
I really feel like I'm getting worse because I want to eat normally, but I can't. For example, tonight I made chicken and a salad and I ate the salad just fine, but when I got to the chicken, it was like my brain was scolding me. It pretty much like this. "What are you doing?! Are you really planning on eating that chicken?! Ugh, no wonder you're such a fat cow. How do you ever expect people to like you when you're so disgusting. Don't eat it. Do NOT eat it! You want to be pretty, right? You want to be worthy and loved. Well, you aren't going to get any of that eating that chicken!"
And on and on it went. It took me ages to eat the chicken and now i feel horrible, even though on an intellectual level I know that chicken is healthy and good for you. Anyways, I told my Dr. about how this happens, but everyone dismisses me. Any suggestions?
BTW, sorry this is so long and everywhere and I don't even know if it makes sense. I just needed to get it out. Thanks. And sorry if this is the wrong place for this.
Im sorry you are having such a hard time lately. I think maybe if your doctors aren't taking you seriously then you need to find one that will! It sounds to me like you do need some help mainly because you shouldn't be so hard on yourself just for eating chicken. Why were you eating 500 or so calories a day? your body is in starvation mode and holding onto your weight because that is the natural response to starvation. You need at LEASTE 1200 calories a day so that your body can feed itself and do the normal everyday activities it needs to do to live!!!! Any diet or so called plan that restricts your calories like that is rediculous and dangerous in my opinion. No wonder your scale hasn't moved! Please try to eat more calories, I bet you will like the results. I wish you the best
I am sorry they aren't taking you seriously. That's pretty poor of them to be honest. Judging by your posts, you really do seem to have the beginnings of an eating disorder. I don't know what to tell you, other than that you should eat at least 1200 calories a day... but I know in this situation, just saying that won't change anything, because you already know that.
I would like to suggest one thing... and it may sound crazy... Have you considered at all just throwing your scale away? Just chucking it in the dumpster and forgetting about it? I feel like you rely too much on that arbitrary number, and if you find out it doesn't move... that's what stops you from eating enough calories. Maybe if you JUST calorie count for a while, and don't monitor the changes on the scale... that might get your body regulated again. Being a slave to a machine is an unfortunate challenge that I think we all face... but the scale is not the only measure of success. In fact, it's a pi$$ poor indicator... we use it more for convenience. Why don't you ask your doctor to put you on a specific eat plan, and then monitor your body fat %? If you exercise and eat on plan, you should see a change in that number, and it will be a heck of a lot more important than your weight.
I also just want to reassure you, I guess, that it is okay to eat more calories. I am 5'2" and I eat 1400-1600 calories a day... and I am losing 2 lbs a week. You CAN eat over 1200 calories and lose weight. You are just causing your body too much stress by not eating enough. If you can't find a doctor who will help you or take you seriously... continue to look until you find one that does.
At 148.5 and 5'7" you are still at a healthy weight for your height. It does sound as if you do have an image problem ,eating 500 calories a day is not any where near what you should be eating. You are not getting enough nutrients and your health will suffer. I suggest you see a doctor that specializes in eating disorders. I think you are wise to be concerned and are trying to take steps to get help.
I would go back to that therapist, and would say, "I CAN'T EAT! I'M EATING 800 CALORIES A DAY AND I CAN'T MAKE MYSELF EAT MORE! YOU HAVE TO HELP ME BEFORE I GET SICK! I THINK THAT IF I EAT A CHICKEN BREAST I'M GOING TO TURN INTO A FAT COW THAT NO ONE WILL LOVE!!!"
My guess is that you also act like a "normal person" when you go see these people, so that reinforces what they think. You need to be VERY CLEAR about what you're eating and not eating and why. INSIST on getting help! Don't let them reassure you and send you away!
By the way, have you been to Chicks in Control here on 3FC?
I got worried about you when I read about you in the Chicks in control forum... because, as I said there, I know what it's like to have an eating disorder. It just creeps up on you - it starts by wanting to lose weight, so you eat less, and then less, and then you pass out in the shower. Everything you do or do not do evolves around food, you never meet your friends because you know they will be eating, you become angrier and angrier with yourself and everyone around you...
I'm not saying this to scare you, I'm saying this so you'll do everything you can not to get worse. For me, it wasn't until I passed out for the first time that I wanted to get out of it - until then it had only meant losing weight - but by then it was so, so hard to change. So, I hope you can learn from me instead of going through that yourself. I've tried the fast way to being thin, and I know how miserable it makes you (and when I was done being miserable and not eating, I just ate... sigh...). Now I'm trying the slow, but happy, way. I hope you'll only try that way.
PM me if you ever wanna ask something or just talk, and take care of yourself.
x
It says a lot that you know what's going on at the intellectual level. It is very hard to get that drilled into the emotional level or even believe that eating so few calories might be why your scale has stalled.
I imagine your therapist would have classified it as ED-NOS because since you are a healthy weight for now, you don't meet the criteria for an established eating disorder like anorexia or bulimia. But it does sound like you're eating next to nothing and then purging on top of that with exercise.
There are two ways you can go from here. If you continue to go on so few calories and continue to exercise, you will lose weight. But the weight you lose will be muscle and important tissues and can damage your body in so many ways.
On the other hand, if you look up how many calories your body requires each day to maintain your current weight and subtract only 100-200 each day, you will also lose, and you will have energy and be healthy. And since your body will be used to having fuel, it will feel safe enough to burn the fat it's been hoarding while it thought you were (and maybe it thought right) starving.
LittleMoonRabbit - I really wish I could throw it away, but it is my mom's scale so I can't do that. I really am going to try to not weigh myself for the next week though, because I know that is what makes me so miserable.
Jay - Thanks for the advice. I'm really going to try that. And I do act pretty normal, I guess, but I did tell them that I am having problems with my eating and explained to them why I can't get myself to eat more. Maybe I need to be a bit more blunt.
Ida - OMG, that sounds completely like me. Food, weight, etc is practically all think about, and I refuse to go out to eat with anyone, even my mom, because I won't know the calories and it would look weird if I ordered a piece of fruit and nothing else. Every time I eat, I'm just disgusted with myself and feel so weak minded.
brooksrm - I already know how many calories I need and should be eating and whatnot because I was doing that before. I really wish I could just say, "Okay, i'm going to eat 1200 calories today and that is that" and just do it, but I can't. That's my issue. And I don't even know why I can't.
My scale won't move anymore
