Small town gossip and why I'm such a fun topic to discuss.
I don't know why this bothers me so much, but it does. Tonight our local little volunteer fire department had a soup supper fund raiser. My hubby is on the dept. and a lot of the wives help out with these kind of things. I'm thrilled to take part especially now that I can get around so much easier. So tonight a lady stopped me and began to casually mentioned my weight loss. This woman and I are acquainted, but not really "friends". She proceeds to tell me...'"You know the big rumor going around is that you had weight loss surgery and are trying to keep it a secret from everyone." I just rolled my eyes and told her I would gladly let anyone check my stomach for scars. It was a dumb reply, but I was caught off guard. (I really want to stress that I am not against WLS of any kind, and I would have probably had the lap-band surgery a few years ago if a friend of mine didn't feed my husband full of BS about how life threatening it is.) Anyway, I am so hurt. I just can't win for losing!
Our newspaper has a little section where people place personal Thank you notes for various things. I was thinking about placing an ad that read something like, "Dear Friends, Thank you so much for you concern about a resent surgery you thought I had, I'm happy to say that it was a misunderstanding and you can now direct your attention to someone in need of your prayers..."
I lived in a small town in high school and there is nothing else to talk about so we talked about people- what they did, who they did it with, who was pregges, who was just fat, who was cheating, etc.
Take it as a compliment that you are losing weight quickly!
And people just don't want to hear, don't want to know what it takes to lose weight. Because you are a success, you must have "cheated" somehow. And they obviously aren't really knowledgeable or observant, because they will see you eating lots of healthy food.
But yes, we do gossip in small towns, and most of it is harmless, and sometimes nice. (After all, if you ever DO need surgery, you will be glad for the TLC that can come afterward, in a way you seldom see in large cities)
Let it slide, or do your little ad, either way, the voices will quiet in a while.
I am from a small town too and I would just laugh it off if I were you! I like the response you gave! If you did take an add out there would still be those who wouldn't believe it so why bother?
OMG ~HAHAHAHAHA That would be so funny Lori!
Or write...
"I would like to say thank you to Myself.
I work hard and eat right and have done it so well With my weight loss success that everyone in this small town thinks I have had surgery.
Which is nosey of them but quite a compliment too.
I pray they will lose there weight too~So they can keep there BIG BUTTS outta my business.
LOL JUST A THOUGHT LORI!
I am so proud of your loss and as a calorie counter I know how hard it can be.YOU ROCK!
I think the ad is one of those fun-to-think-about revenge type things that makes us feel better emotionally. Goodness knows I've indulged in some doozie schemes myself in my mind to 'get back' at someone who hurt or wronged me. And I really enjoyed reading Lori's suggested ad above- that was brilliant~!
Unfortunately, these things never end up playing out in real life like they do in our minds. If you really followed through and tried to get that symbolic victory it wouldn't work out that way and you'd end up looking/feeling stupid. That stupid high road is about as exciting as doing the hard work of losing weight! Still, as Ben Franklin said "I've never been sorry for something I haven't said". Too bad the folks in town have never heard that phrase.
But hey, fantacize here all you want and we'll all have fun joining in!
1. People are insensitive twts.
2. Your reply already was fantastic!
3. It's much more dignified just to let it go. IMHO if you post the ad, you'll up the ante: you might get more comments not fewer, you could even get someone replying, you could get the paper running a piece on you, you could get h8mail. And the idiots that feed the rumour mill will just believe you're protesting too much.
4. I think you win if you just refuse to be sucked in by saddos who haven't enough to occupy their minds/are incredibly jealous.
5. Well done on your absofloopinglutely fantastic weight loss! You are a STAR! (admittedly twinkling in what sounds like a fairly dim and cloudy sky.....)
Let it go. The ad was a funny idea, but best left unsent. If someone says something similar again, just smile sweetly and say, "Nope, did it the old fashioned way: eat less, move more." Thank you.
Lori, I have had to put up with this kind of stuff myself. People speak to me as if I've had the surgery. They just launch right into "which surgery did you have" and things of that nature.
People just can't fathom that losing weight and a large amount of it, and in a timely fashion, can occur with good old fashioned putting your nose to the grindstone - work. They can't do it themselves, so therefore it HAD to have been surgery - or some other kind of "magic solution".
I too have NOTHING against WLS, and if I'd had it and it resulted in my losing 165 lbs - I'd be screaming its wonders from the rooftops - but I didn't have surgery and quite frankly, I don't enjoy people assuming I had. But in the long run, it doesn't really matter one bit.
This reminds of this one man that I know, who is very good friends with a good friend of mine, he's just as acquaintance of mine - my good friend finally convinced him that I hadn't had WEIGHT LOSS surgery, so now he convinced I"ve had COSMETIC surgery. You just can't win with some people. And you know what who the H*&K cares anymore. I'm too busy enjoying, LOVING and LIVING my life to be concerned with what ignorant and quite frankly for the most part - jealous people think about me anymore.
I'm 20 months into maintenance and it's gotten a lot better as more and more people "know" how I really did lose the weight.
But I do know what you mean. You would just like credit where credit is due. Is that too much to ask people? Apparently, it is....
Last edited by rockinrobin; 03-16-2009 at 07:03 AM.
I was also from a small town. It is good to know that people will also have your back when you need them. The night my papa had a heart attack the same day my baby got immunized there was a major blizzard hitting and Mom was out of town. I think everyone has police scanners back there. Well, before the ambulance arrived, I had 5 calls from folks seeing if I needed someone to take care of the baby while I took care of Papa. OK, I was kinda irritated that they were plugging up the phone line, but, we did have people who cared about us, ready to jump in at 10-11:00 at night. I didn't have to worry about preparing food for the next week either.
Ah, the joys and pains of small town life.
Last edited by Operator265; 03-16-2009 at 09:29 AM.
Oh yeah the joys of living in a small town....I just got my first "wow you look fantastic! Was the recovery from the surgery difficult? The whole town thinks it's awesome!"
My answer?
"Thank you... I haven't had a surgery except my 3 c-sections....you know what they say about assuming? It makes an a$$ out of you and me " Then I walked off.
People will believe what they want to and I'm glad I'm at the point where I really don't care what they think they know
Last edited by TJFitnessDiva; 03-16-2009 at 09:33 AM.
Yep--I got the lapband question just a couple of weeks ago.
Lori259--brilliant idea. I love that.
By the way, the lady that stopped you (Loribell) was meaning to say, "I THINK you have gotten the surgery," not "THEY THINK...."..I know hindsight is 20/20 but I wouldn't you love to ask her who "they" are?
Lori, I have had to put up with this kind of stuff myself. People speak to me as if I've had the surgery. They just launch right into "which surgery did you have" and things of that nature.
People just can't fathom that losing weight and a large amount of it, and in a timely fashion, can occur with good old fashioned putting your nose to the grindstone - work. They can't do it themselves, so therefore it HAD to have been surgery - or some other kind of "magic solution".
Exactyly Robin. Other people can't do it themselves. Other peoples success makes them question their own abilities. It is much easier to assume someone took the easy way out rather than accept your own failure.
Small town gossip and why I'm such a fun topic to discuss.
If someone says something similar again, just smile sweetly and say, "Nope, did it the old fashioned way: eat less, move more." Thank you.
