You know at first I thought it might be my imagination or maybe even a little paranoia LOL!
But I have detected that since I have started dieting and eating healthy people are calling me MORE to go out to eat, shoving food at me more than usual if I go to their house, try to PAY me in food (like when I help someone move or something like that).
A woman who seems to be interested in me that I know from church likes to bake things (like Bundt cakes and cupcakes) and leave them on my porch for me.
Even my very own Mother seems to be pushing more food at me MORE than usual.
I tested her the other day when I was visiting my folks. After dinner they ALWAYS have a desert after dinner. It is just the way it goes in my Dad's house.
So my Mom had pie and some cake and she asked me which one did I want and did I want some ice cream with it.
I wanted to see what she would say and I said "How about if I have pie AND cake together WITH ice cream... and oh yeah can you put some Cool Whip on top of it all?"
And she says "OK" and then starts to head to the kitchen to make this for me.
I got up astounded and laughing and I'm like "MOM YOU KNOW I AM on a diet! Good Lord you trying to kill me?? LOL!"
And she says "well I didn't know!"
I can't figure out if there is an increase in the offers of food or maybe NOW it has ALWAYS been this way and I am now just noticing!
Anyone else get a lot of food offered to them all the time!
My mom seems to think I'm wasting away. I haven't told her I'm dieting but she does know I've been exercising. The other day she came to pick me up so we could go shopping together. Surprise! Donuts in the car! Then after we had been out for only an hour she offered to go through the McDonald's drive-thru (as if!)
When I go to visit her it's food food food. It's hard to say no because her house is stuffed with trigger foods for me. I try not to visit too often and keep in touch with the phone only as much as possible.
I think it's a combination of being more aware and people subconsciously offering more. The good news is that, if you turn people down enough, they (usually) get the hint and start respecting your choices, and the offers die down a bit...but that took me about a year after goal to get to.
It's frustrating but I don't really think people mean harm by it...mostly unconscious trying to maintain the status quo.
for me it's more of the "you aren't eating enough" "is that ALL you're going to have?" "you SURE you don't want some chicken fried steak/gravy/potatoes/bread/blah freakin blah??" mostly it comes from my inlaws. they are good ol country folk and if you're not eating enough for 4- you're not eating enough. but everybody else has actually been pretty good...
I really haven't had that problem, maybe it's more of a guy thing...? Tonight after church I was talking to a couple who I don't know very well. The guy and I hit it off because he has just recently lost 133 pounds...as we are visiting about our various plans and favorite snacks etc., his girlfriend brings him a big plate of cookies, a sandwich roll and chex mix, (we always have treats after Wed. lent services...) He's like, "oh thank you but you KNOW I can't eat ALL of that". She says something like, "oh, it won't hurt you..." This guy was good I tell you, he took the plate and began to mingle, I kept my eye on him to see what he did. He eventually offered a kid the cookies, ate a little of something and discreetly dumped the rest in the trash. I wanted to yell..WAY TO GO!!!
I kind of go through this too. I live in the dorms now, so I decide what's in my fridge and cabinets. I'm graduating in May and moving back home though. I have three thin siblings, and there's a ton of junk always in the house bc they can eat as much as the want! Any tips? Just stock up on good stuff I guess...
my mother has spent the last 15 years simultaneously hassling me about my being fat or "looking pretty chunky," as she puts it, leaving diet books outside my bedroom door, and offering me seconds and thirds at family meals and then being disappointed when i don't want to take home the pan of brownies she baked "just for me." tres annoying.
Are ya kidding me? I'm in middle of Mormon country. No drinking, smoking or partying so socializing is completely centered around food. These folks give my Baptist aunts a run for the money. What is it about God and food?
My neighbor noticed my weight loss and asked me about it. I shared what I was doing. Within the week they somehow came upon a caterers pan of mashed potatoes made with huge amounts of sour cream mixed in. I'm talking these people tried to give me a 12" x 24" x 6" pan of freaking potatoes to split between me and my DD. I was finally able to talk them down to a bowl which I wound up tossing out about a week later.
If I stop by my neighbor's on the other side, she always offers me a plate of whatever she is cooking and she is always cooking. With a husband and 5 big, strong boys, her stove never cools and there is always food.
In all honesty though, I really think it comes down to us trying to watch over and care for each other. We mostly want to make sure our fellows aren't actually suffering and doing without while we have something to give.
I used to date a guy who thought it was rude not to eat food given to you. like if we went to eat at his family's or with people he worked with, it was considered rude not to eat the stuff in front of you or offered to you. I got stuck eating stuff I didn't even like sometimes.
My mom buys food she thinks I like...sure I like it, but I need to stop liking it and stop eating it.
Since this is a lifelong change, I'm trying to learn to set my grounds better.
This is a very interesting thread. Besides the obvious weight loss support, I have learned a lot about how to mother my grown children from reading posts on this site. It seems from reading many posts, that it is probably best for me to treat them as I do my friends. Support them in what they want/are doing and keep my opinions to myself unless asked!
I saw this and my firsth thought was YESSSSSSSSSSS. One such case, the few times I have gone over to my dad's for a holiday meal, his man beast of a gf always loads us up with leftovers. She assumes that we're poor and don't have food andn eed her charity. Also that I'm "fluffy" and will eat it anyway. I HATE IT!! I don't want it!! The other....there's a sweet old lady whom I work with. She always brings in new treats....cookies, candy, etc. and always leaves one on my desk for me. AHHHHHHH. NOOOOOOOO. I usually wait until no one is looking and toss it, and sometimes will hide it under other things in the trash so her feelings aren't hurt. I SO get this.
My family must be different.... Well the lebanese side anyways. Even though most of them have weight problems, they always looked at me and my sister and frowned. When I would reach for the nuts or cookies on christmas all i got was looks of disappointment. My step mom and dad tried to make me eat less.
I must be lucky with my friends too. One time I noticed my friend trying to hide the fact that she was giving my other friend candy. I was like "you don't have to hide it from me you know" and she was like "well I didn't want to be rude by putting it in your face." Kind of silly but really very nice of her to think
Yes, definitely. Everywhere I go, it seems. Just last night, my mom brought me home a bag of lemon bars and a bag of chocolate biscottis. I was like, "Mom, you know I can't eat that!" and she was just like, "Well, you can treat yourself every once in a while", which is true, but 2 bags full of stuff?! Eeck! I've hidden it from myself in the very top cupboard so if I even think about wanting one, I'll need to climb up on a stool and get it down.
People at work used to be like that, but I think once they saw I was serious about this, they've relaxed a bit with offering food. Thank goodness. lol.
Yeah, this seems to be happening to me now too! I've decided to watch what I eat and count the calories, as well as save money by not eating out. Both my aunt and mother have been asking me out to eat more often, and all I can think is "how is a fried chicken buffet good for my diet?" I finally told my mom that by lunch time I'll know how many calories I have left for the day, and I'm already set for supper.
do other people try and feed you???
I was finally able to talk them down to a bowl which I wound up tossing out about a week later.
