Weight Loss Support - The 7 Stages of People Noticing Your Weight Loss




saef
03-11-2009, 05:27 PM
I'm re-posting this as a separate post in honor of Ailidh, who inspired me to write it because she's starting to get noticed, and who told me to put it up separately. (Good going, Ailidh! :carrot:)

After you 3FC members have lost a certain amount of weight & your ticker starts migrating ever rightwards, you can expect the people around you to begin to notice & start complimenting you & asking you questions. This could start happening at 10 pounds down, 20 pounds down, 50 pounds down ... it's hard to tell. Your mileage may vary.

But when it happens, it occurs in predictable stages. By my counting, there are seven, to be exact. If you drew it on a chart, it would be u-shaped & would follow these stages:

Stage 1) The observant notice & say something.

Stage 2) The less observant notice & speak up.

Stage 3) The truly dim & tactless notice & have their say, coming up with remarkable things you'll likely want to share in the forums with us.

Stage 4) Even the self-centered notice.

Stage 5) It's a general topic of conversation at your workplace, school, church & etc. Sometimes you're in on it; sometimes you're not. But know that there's buzz out there about you.

Stage 6) A backlash begins. At this point, you look so good that you shake up the social pecking order. Some people start to feel threatened & competitive. Catty remarks may ensue. You may also want to share those here with us.

Stage 7) People get used to your appearance. They may forget what you looked like before. If a picture of you turns up from beforehand, people will marvel, but generally, the compliments & remarks will die down. (A big secret: You may actually miss them. You may wonder why they're not as frequent as before.) You may think you've been forgotten, but you haven't been. You have simply entered local lore at the office & etc. as a sort of phenomena: The girl (woman) who lost LOTS of weight. Your day will come again: Wait till New Year's resolution time.


Rosinante
03-11-2009, 06:10 PM
Thankyou for posting this! I'm still at stage 1 but I'm inspired to follow you and get to stage 7!!

x0me880x
03-11-2009, 06:14 PM
I might be the only one to ever say this, but I hate the comments. I am glad I have not really gotten any yet. I really appreciate it when a person notices, but doesnt say anything. I don't like being treated different like I wasnt as important when I weighed more. it just doesn't make sense to me.


shrinkingviolet
03-11-2009, 06:16 PM
That's brilliant and so true. I think I'm at Stage 1. Fun post.

WarMaiden
03-11-2009, 06:40 PM
I'm around stage 2 to 3 now. Everyone who's commented to me has been totally supportive and wonderful about it. Honestly, I don't exist in an environment where I expect to receive catty remarks or the like, at all.

dixied
03-11-2009, 06:45 PM
You are dead on! I'm at stage 5/6. During 6 people will start to encourage you to stop losing weight. Don't listen to them unless you're ready to stop. I've had to point out to co-workers and DH that I'm still above the healthy weight for someone my height, and that "no" I'm not starving myself or taking diet drugs, I've done this on my own. :mad:

kestrel
03-11-2009, 07:01 PM
Thanks for sharing that! I'm somewhere between Stages 3 & 4 right now, it's truly interesting to listen to the comments.

time2lose
03-11-2009, 07:22 PM
Thanks, informative and entertaining! I am at stage 1 and am looking forward to stages 2 and 3.

heather88
03-11-2009, 07:31 PM
I got a comment today from one of my bf's co-workers while I was walking the dog. He actually stopped his car and rolled the window down while it was raining to tell me that I looked so good that I lost so much weight :D . . I really couldn't stop smiling for half an hour afterward, but I was also really embarrassed at the same time.

I think that I'm around stage 2 right now

Heather
03-11-2009, 11:44 PM
Love the post!

I've seen them all, but fortunately, Stage 6 has been mostly absent. I'm kind of glad to be in Stage 7.

I just hope there's not a Stage 8: regain the weight and AGAIN become a topic of conversation/comments etc.

MBN
03-12-2009, 07:53 AM
So true!!! Stage 6 is the worst, IMO. You've worked so hard to get there, and well-meaning (I suppose) friends seem to want to give you input on your end goal -- are you STILL losing weight, you're too thin, yada yada. But, eventually, everyone gets used to the new you and life goes on ....


I just hope there's not a Stage 8: regain the weight and AGAIN become a topic of conversation/comments etc.

Amen to that!!

Lori Bell
03-12-2009, 08:40 AM
Excellent...:)

I'm definitely stage 6.
My favorite question/comment is: "SOOOOOOO...how much more do you plan to lose?"
My Answer: "10-20 pounds"
Questioners huge Gasp...then reply: "Oh, no, I don't think so"
My internal Thought: Well, why the **** did you ask how much more I plan on losing if you don't think I need to lose any more...LOL :lol:

MonteCristo
03-12-2009, 09:38 AM
I'm in stage 5. I occasionaly get random people at work, who I have never met, coming up to me and saying that they heard I lost a lot of weight, and they and they want to know my secret. You can imagine how depressed they get when I tell them eat less and exercise more! ;) I'm hoping that I just skip right over stage 6, as it doesn't sound pleasant.

daniela
03-12-2009, 11:19 AM
saef - Love this post...so funny and yet so true! I would say I'm in stage 5. I'm very open about my weight loss and I like the compliments. I even had a guy at work ask me my secret because he was trying to lose weight too. I thought it was pretty cool because he's asking me for workout tips. I'm glad I haven't had to deal with stage 6 but trust me if it happens I won't be quiet about it. hehe

KforKitty
03-12-2009, 11:24 AM
I'm just about entering stage 6 I think. The award for the first catty remark goes to (drumroll please)..... my MIL who last week when I was ill with a stomach virus and fainted told my husband that I was taking that dieting thing too far! I've dicovered that when you've lost a lot of weight you can't have an ordinary illness without people assuming you're developing an eating disorder.

Kitty

JenMusic
03-12-2009, 12:35 PM
This is brilliant! Thanks for the post, and the thoughts from others.

Any chance this could be made a sticky? Maybe in the Maintenance forum (or wherever it's deemed appropriate)? It seems like something that a lot of people go through and threads deal with this regularly - maybe this post will help some people be prepared for what happens.

coloradomomof3
03-12-2009, 12:43 PM
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm at stage 6 and it's beginning to sabatoge my thinking...........I want to loose 15 more pounds and am fighting a mind game. The comments are not helping. I'm encouraged to know this is just a phase.

yoyoma
03-12-2009, 01:05 PM
I second the idea to make this sticky. Love it!

Stage 2 for me, btw :) .

ICUwishing
03-12-2009, 01:31 PM
I'll "3rd" the idea! At least with my mom, I jumped right into stage 6 - we skipped 2-5. As soon as she discovered I was writing down what I was eating, she'd decided I had an eating disorder. Lots of education to do there, sigh. :)

H8cake
03-12-2009, 02:12 PM
Maybe you could add a footnote about the humorous comments, Saef.
Yesterday the hubby and I were hauling out the garbage cans and the neighbor who drinks too much and was verrrry happy took notice. He hollered out for the whole neighborhood to hear "you look like a slimfast commercial..." then he starts rambling, obviously confused.." pretty soon they are going to start yelling..move that bus!" I think he was thinking biggest loser, but somehow got extreme home makeover instead. Kind of embarrassing, but mostly just funny. Hubby said "at least he's a happy drunk."

JenMusic
03-12-2009, 02:43 PM
H8cake - That's sad, yet hysterical at the same time. I'm glad you were able to keep your sense of humor about it!

Thighs Be Gone
03-12-2009, 02:48 PM
Stage 5 or 6 here. :) This is a really great post.

Has anyone here began dressing differently, wearing hair and make-up differently, etc? I think that's contributed the the "chatter" as well.

jahjah1223
03-12-2009, 02:54 PM
8) they tell you you've lost too much and you should stop.

Honestly i hate hearing that! lol

Lori Bell
03-12-2009, 02:59 PM
Stage 5 or 6 here. :) This is a really great post.

Has anyone here began dressing differently, wearing hair and make-up differently, etc? I think that's contributed the the "chatter" as well.

Without a doubt!!! I used to dress like a homeless person. Seriously, and not because I couldn't afford clothes, I just couldn't find any at the local Wal-mart that would cover my enormous body anymore. Often people do not recognize me.

Thighs Be Gone
03-12-2009, 03:02 PM
Lori, it's grand, isn't it? I never put much thought into what I had on before because I never felt like anything looked good anyway no matter what I did. Now I catch myself deciding what color camisole with which jacket...and oooh, "I need a necklace with this"..type of thing when I look in the mirror.

With your amazing weight loss I am sure their is "chatter aplenty" about you! So, dress you slinkiest and cutest and keep 'em talkin'! :) Hehehe!

Glory87
03-12-2009, 03:10 PM
Maybe you could add a footnote about the humorous comments, Saef.
Yesterday the hubby and I were hauling out the garbage cans and the neighbor who drinks too much and was verrrry happy took notice. He hollered out for the whole neighborhood to hear "you look like a slimfast commercial..." then he starts rambling, obviously confused.." pretty soon they are going to start yelling..move that bus!" I think he was thinking biggest loser, but somehow got extreme home makeover instead. Kind of embarrassing, but mostly just funny. Hubby said "at least he's a happy drunk."

This had me rolling!

I am at that weird point where I've come full circle - from enjoying the comments to being a little tired of the comments. I've been maintaining for four years, when someone asks me HOW I DID IT in that excited voice, sometimes (not always) but I feel a little *sigh* here I go again. Most of the time, I'm still happy to talk about it, but sometimes I just want to say "I am so OVER that, this is just how I am now!" heh :)

girlpiggy
03-12-2009, 03:42 PM
Great post!

Everyone has been nice to me so far, but truth be told I'm waiting for the catty comments to kick in from several people. Oh well, they wouldn't be talking about me if I wasn't worth talking about ;)

rockinrobin
03-12-2009, 04:01 PM
I never put much thought into what I had on before because I never felt like anything looked good anyway no matter what I did. Now I catch myself deciding what color camisole with which jacket...and oooh, "I need a necklace with this"..type of thing when I look in the mirror.

saef, cute post.

When I was so large, obviously my choices of clothing was very limited. I hated it. Didn't want to bother much with anything. And now that I can wear whatever I want (OMG, I can wear whatever I want!) and actually have choices, I LOVE getting dressed, the makeup, the hair, the jewelry, the whole bit.

But lately, this is so strange considering that I really do adore all of my beautiful clothes and getting very dressed (OMG, I have beautiful clothes!), but lately, I'm getting the biggest kick out of just throwing my hair into a ponytail, putting on a pair of plain jeans and a plain T-shirt, no make-up, just vaseline on my lips and running out of the house to do some errands. I actually like the look - now.

Now don't get me wrong, I still love and adore my vast wardrobe (OMG, I have a vast wardrobe!) but it's darn nice to feel confident sans all the extras. Darn nice.

Oh and excuse all the OMG's. It still amazes me from time to time that clothing is no longer an angonizing situation for me. (OMG, clothing is not longer an agonizing situation for me!) ;)

Beautiful Ace
03-12-2009, 04:05 PM
I'm either on stage 2, or a couple people at my school are more observant than I give them credit for. lol

healthierme78
03-12-2009, 04:48 PM
I guess I was at stage 8 but am now at stage 1. (Oops!) :o

I lost a decent amount of weight a few years ago and some people started taking bets to see how long it would be before I gained it back - blah! Unfortunately, I did :P but am back on track to being healthy again. (Thank goodness - I just wish I had kept it off to prove them wrong. :devil: )

This is all so true! I can attest to stage 6 being annoying. I do agree that some people aren't used to seeing you as skinny so they have a warped sense of what healthy. But listen to your body in what's healthy for YOU and ignore those catty comments telling you to stop losing or weight (or even worse) gain weight. Let a doctor decide if you're too skinny - not jealous people. ;) (I will this time around!)

Thighs Be Gone
03-12-2009, 11:44 PM
saef, cute post.

When I was so large, obviously my choices of clothing was very limited. I hated it. Didn't want to bother much with anything. And now that I can wear whatever I want (OMG, I can wear whatever I want!) and actually have choices, I LOVE getting dressed, the makeup, the hair, the jewelry, the whole bit.

But lately, this is so strange considering that I really do adore all of my beautiful clothes and getting very dressed (OMG, I have beautiful clothes!), but lately, I'm getting the biggest kick out of just throwing my hair into a ponytail, putting on a pair of plain jeans and a plain T-shirt, no make-up, just vaseline on my lips and running out of the house to do some errands. I actually like the look - now.

Now don't get me wrong, I still love and adore my vast wardrobe (OMG, I have a vast wardrobe!) but it's darn nice to feel confident sans all the extras. Darn nice.

Oh and excuse all the OMG's. It still amazes me from time to time that clothing is no longer an angonizing situation for me. (OMG, clothing is not longer an agonizing situation for me!) ;)


I can so feel your excitement and I know exactly what you mean by all of the above! Funny, I used to pull off outfit after outfit thinking everything looked bad on me...now I am doing the same thing because I can't figure out which is my favorite. I hear what you are saying about the ponytail and jeans. I enjoy that too actually. I run in the mornings and there are a few mornings I have taken my kids to school in my workout clothes like I see some other women doing. Before, I wouldn't have ever done that! One other thing I am really enjoying is C-O-L-O-R! OMG (there is that term again!!!) do I love color! I love color. Did I mention I like color? :) No black one piece for me this swimsuit season!

Amber1011
03-12-2009, 11:58 PM
I'll "3rd" the idea! At least with my mom, I jumped right into stage 6 - we skipped 2-5. As soon as she discovered I was writing down what I was eating, she'd decided I had an eating disorder. Lots of education to do there, sigh. :)

I had that problem too! I knew she wouldn't understand it at first, so I just tried to conceal my notebook with all the calories and stuff added up. Of course she saw me in the kitchen making lunch and writing a lot of stuff down. At first I felt embarrassed (don't really know why) and she thought it was VERY WEIRD- then I explained to her how the whole calorie thing works and all that, and now she wants to try it herself. I signed her up for the calorie counting website I use, but I think its too complicated for her. we'll see what happens lol.

teawithsunshine
03-13-2009, 03:32 AM
I honestly hate compliments from people I don't know (or know very well). I'm MUCH more comfortable with accepting compliments from close friends and from fellow chickies on this forum :D

~ tea

onesy
03-13-2009, 02:23 PM
This is so true! :) I'm somewhere between stage 2 and 3.

dutchgirl
03-13-2009, 03:37 PM
I guess I just hit stage 1 yesterday. Two of my co-workers, independently of each other, noticed the weight I have lost and gave me some nice comments and encouragement.

Just at a point when I was in need of some positivity, because the scale is not budging an ounce, while I am being stellar on the calories as well as on working out. I must be losing inches though, my trousers are getting loose.:carrot:
(looking forward to a few OMG'S of my own:D)

s0nali
03-14-2009, 06:48 PM
I'm at Stage 1 I think as well... only the very observant Strategic Analyst at the office has said anything... but of course I have other comments because I'm constantly twittering about it and facebooking that I'm losing weight... :)

I know who stage 6 will come from first :) Looking forward to it, actually ;)

Hyacinth
03-15-2009, 04:53 PM
I got to stage 4 (and, in a few cases, stage 6) when I lost 80 pounds before, but now I am waaaay back at stage 1. Or perhaps stage 0, or -1! Either way, this is a great thing to be aware of. I've read about how the good feelings of so much attention go away when you get to maintenance, and some struggle with that.

Stage 6: A close friend of mine acted out some when I lost weight. At the beginning of my loss, she said I should have the self-esteem to love my body the way it was. When I was consistently losing, she said I was losing it too fast. When I plateaued after 40 pounds, she told me that maybe my body doesn't WANT to lose weight, etc. I quickly learned how close of a "friend" she was. Sad!

Genki
03-15-2009, 05:16 PM
Great thread! I'm looking forward to people saying I need to stop losing weight, that would be a first!

rockinrobin
03-15-2009, 05:25 PM
Great thread! I'm looking forward to people saying I need to stop losing weight, that would be a first!

Yeah, it was/is a strange kind of phenomenom. Also very strange - people asking *me*, yes *me* for "diet" advice. After all these years.........

Which just shows you how change is really and truly possible. :smug:

BoJo
03-15-2009, 05:34 PM
This was a great list! So nice to find encouragement and humor with weight loss success!

Thanks all for the boost!

jellydisney
03-16-2009, 07:05 AM
I think I'm transitioning out of stage 6 and into stage 7... slowly.... I still get comments (as recent as yesterday) that I should stop losing weight (I've been maintaining for 5 months!). :dizzy:

MBN
03-16-2009, 08:27 AM
I think I'm transitioning out of stage 6 and into stage 7... slowly.... I still get comments (as recent as yesterday) that I should stop losing weight (I've been maintaining for 5 months!). :dizzy:

Ditto -- I continued to get the "comments" for months after my weight had stabilized. I think it was a couple of things .... I continued to work out and firm up, so I lost some more "inches", even though my weight remained stable. AND, I was building a wardrobe that actually fit me, so it showed off my new figure much better than the baggy old clothes. It took about 9 months to a year, I think, for the comments to stop. :rolleyes:

TheRightWeigh
03-18-2009, 01:43 AM
I badly want a ticker how do i get one???...this post was both hilarious and informative by the way lol...i love this place!

sindy9001
03-18-2009, 02:41 AM
I am now at the stage 3. I know I need to lose more weight, I keep this stage about 2 months now.