100 lb. Club - Someone's misery reminds me of my joy.

03-10-2009, 05:19 AM
A friend of mine from work today started crying when she passed me in the hall. As anyone would do, I stopped and asked her what was wrong. She is a World of Warcraft Widow, and was lamenting what an *** her husband has been lately. Not just about the video game, but about the attention he hasnít paid to her lately. Apparently my friend got super dressed up last week to go out on a date with her husband, only to have him not comment on her effort. For an entire week she tried wearing lingerie to bed and initiating sex, only to have him rebuff her and retire to the computer for a video game. ďI donít think Iím asking for a lot, I just want to know my husband finds me attractive,Ē she said. I did all I could by telling her she was beautiful and giving her a hug in the few minutes we had to chat. But even though my heart was breaking for my friend, I couldnít help but feel grateful for what I had at home.

Here was a woman, who is the mother of 6! who still looks great and has taken great care of herself. At 38, she looks better than women 10 years her junior. She is always dressed in stylish and flattering clothes and does her best to make a good home for her family. With 6 kids! Iím surprised she manages to shower every day much less get dressed to the nines for date night. But yet, she has a husband that doesnít realize he has a beautiful, sexy woman dying for his attention and would rather play video games than have sex with her. And here I am. A woman who has definitely ďlet herself goĒ, always has a sink full of dirty dishes and folded laundry on the dining room table and would rather wear sweats and ratty t-shirts than even look in a lingerie catalog, but I have a husband who canít keep his hands off of me. For so long I have beaten myself up over the fact that my body looks nothing like it did when my husban met and fell in love with me, and convinced myself that he was somehow turned off by the sight of my flabby body, and yet tonight while I changed out of my work clothes I caught him watching me and smiling THAT smile at me. (sorry, I know that may be TMI).

So often we get caught up in what our shell looks like, but true love loves what is inside the shell. For the moment I am taking a lesson from my husband and loving the inside a little more. I will continue to work on the shell, but it is only a small measure of who I am.

03-10-2009, 07:11 AM
Amazing. Congratulations on having such a fantastic husband - and for your self-realization!

03-10-2009, 09:15 AM
What wonderful insight! We all need to count our blessings.

03-10-2009, 09:24 AM
Kuddos for your DH, mine also deserves a few he is the same way!! I am forever grateful.

03-10-2009, 09:29 AM
It's interesting how these little reminders come to us.....it also reminds us that even the ones that appear "all together" most usually aren't....

03-10-2009, 11:41 AM
How sad for your friend. I'm glad that you have such an attentive DH though!

03-10-2009, 11:45 AM
Your DH sounds wonderful - enjoy him!

03-10-2009, 12:24 PM
World of Warcraft is the devil. Kudos to your hubby!

03-10-2009, 12:27 PM
I am so happy that you have found such a wonderful husband. I feel very blessed as well. I really hope things with your friend and her husband work out.

03-10-2009, 12:32 PM
Thank you for this thread. WOW is the devil. I know a number of WOW Widows.

You offer a really wonderful perspective though and I just wanted to say thank you. It sounds like you are very blessed and on that I can relate.

Here's sending hopeful thoughts into the universe for your friend!

Zen Pharmacy
03-10-2009, 01:18 PM
I jokingly call myself a WoW widow, but I'm not.

The husband is good at pretty much only playing when I'm studying. And he does most the cooking/laundry/dishes/earning the money. So it's not always the devil ;>

03-10-2009, 10:43 PM
Three cheers for your hubby!!! :cheer:

I am an Everquest2 (similar to WOW) widow for the most part. :( I totally understand what your friend is going through.

03-11-2009, 12:20 AM
Wow! Thanks so much for sharing this story. You are absoltely right and I have much food for thought now. Thanks again!

03-11-2009, 01:07 PM
Well-written. I think what's even worse than WOW widows are WOW orphans (or Halo or whatever). Sometimes it's not really a joke. But I wish every woman could realize that men like your husband are out there. :)

03-11-2009, 10:09 PM
in juno, towards the end of the movie the father says the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person is still going to think the sun shines out your ***. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with. For some reason I take great comfort in that. The right person will love you no matter what, for whats inside. And I am happy you found that person :) I hope your friend does