Good Morning Gem,
I am glad you found this forum. Most ladies here are on antidepressant medication of some sort.. as I am.
I am definately better than when I began this journey. Low self esteem, frustration, lonliness.. all emotions I have dealt with myself. What has helped me is taking control, instead of waiting for things to happen. I know you are thinking.. this is easier said than done and you are right. It took a lot of very hard work and hollering at myself to get to this point. Some days are easy now, other days it can be a struggle. The core of this is your self esteem. You have to get to the point where you see you are worth whatever it takes for you to get healthy. I am still struggling with this concept of self love.. boy am I struggling as Meg will tell you.
I am also changing my mindset on things.. this too has taken a considerable amount of time. For example, I exercise 5-6 days a week now. And you know what? On days I don't exercise, I actually miss it. Oh don't get me wrong, while I am exercising I am not thrilled. What I crave is the endorphin rush, the feeling of self accomplishment and the alertness I feel after I workout. I started slow.. 15 minutes 3 X a week...and gradually added more. Some experts say it takes 21 days to for a new habit.. I say HA.. It took me a good six weeks to get past the " I want to go back to bed" feeling. I exercise first thing in the morning.. at about 5:15am... that way it is over and done with. Think of it like taking the medicine fast, instead of sipping it
I also no longer stuff my emotions down with food. Of course I still have those urges after a stressful day.. but my body deserves better.
I am a firm believer in medication and cognitive therapy as an approach to depression. There have been studies that conclude that the 2 together are far more effective than one. There even was another study, maybe a month or so ago that stated people who are involved in therapy actually do better and have a lower relapse rate than those just on medication. If you aren't in therapy, I urge you to talk about it with your doctor. It helped me a great deal. Medication can only help the chemical problems we have in our bodies It cannot change the negative thought patterns we develop. That has to come from us, not a pill.
You can get yourself back together. I don't know if I will ever be the person I was before, but I can be better. Gem, believe in yourself and that you are worth getting up early to exercise and believe that you are worth it to nourish your body with good healthy foods. Look in the mirror if you need to, and start your day with saying this to yourself. Write it on posty notes and put it around your office and your home. Go outside and dig in the dirt.. plant something beautiful and watch it grow under your loving care. Take the time to care for yourself. you ARE worth it.
I hope you will stick around the forum. We usually have a daily thread that we just check in with each other every day.. tell how we are doing, whats going on, daily struggles. Would love to see you there.