[Gemini-max]

Hi everyone, I'm new here. I am looking for some great women (chicks) who, like me, believe that once our heads are in the right place, we can do anything....including losing 50 pounds. I cannot seem to budge from my very highest weight ever, and all I think about is food. When I'm going to eat next, what I'll eat, etc. Even if it's healthy food, I'm always thinking about it. So, I don't want to talk about food in this forum. I want to talk about the feelings that make me eat, because I know that's what's going on. Sadness, frustration, hopelessness, loneliness, low self-esteem. I'm middle aged and on antidepressants for the last year. I hope they are helping, but obviously they aren't doing the entire job. I've had weight issues all my life, but as you all know, losing it at age 20 is much easier than at age 50.....metabolism and all that. I'm wondering if I'll ever be able to get my "true" self back, or if this depression and weight gain is going to put me in an early grave. I'm already on high BP medication and have 250+ cholesterol. You'd think those 2 things alone would scare the bejeebers out of me and make me stop eating. But no, I just head back to the refrigerator for another fix. Is there anyone out there who's been where I am and gotten better? Thanks for listening.

[LindaT]

Good Morning Gem,

I am glad you found this forum. Most ladies here are on antidepressant medication of some sort.. as I am.

I am definately better than when I began this journey. Low self esteem, frustration, lonliness.. all emotions I have dealt with myself. What has helped me is taking control, instead of waiting for things to happen. I know you are thinking.. this is easier said than done and you are right. It took a lot of very hard work and hollering at myself to get to this point. Some days are easy now, other days it can be a struggle. The core of this is your self esteem. You have to get to the point where you see you are worth whatever it takes for you to get healthy. I am still struggling with this concept of self love.. boy am I struggling as Meg will tell you.

I am also changing my mindset on things.. this too has taken a considerable amount of time. For example, I exercise 5-6 days a week now. And you know what? On days I don't exercise, I actually miss it. Oh don't get me wrong, while I am exercising I am not thrilled. What I crave is the endorphin rush, the feeling of self accomplishment and the alertness I feel after I workout. I started slow.. 15 minutes 3 X a week...and gradually added more. Some experts say it takes 21 days to for a new habit.. I say HA.. It took me a good six weeks to get past the " I want to go back to bed" feeling. I exercise first thing in the morning.. at about 5:15am... that way it is over and done with. Think of it like taking the medicine fast, instead of sipping it I also no longer stuff my emotions down with food. Of course I still have those urges after a stressful day.. but my body deserves better.

I am a firm believer in medication and cognitive therapy as an approach to depression. There have been studies that conclude that the 2 together are far more effective than one. There even was another study, maybe a month or so ago that stated people who are involved in therapy actually do better and have a lower relapse rate than those just on medication. If you aren't in therapy, I urge you to talk about it with your doctor. It helped me a great deal. Medication can only help the chemical problems we have in our bodies It cannot change the negative thought patterns we develop. That has to come from us, not a pill.

You can get yourself back together. I don't know if I will ever be the person I was before, but I can be better. Gem, believe in yourself and that you are worth getting up early to exercise and believe that you are worth it to nourish your body with good healthy foods. Look in the mirror if you need to, and start your day with saying this to yourself. Write it on posty notes and put it around your office and your home. Go outside and dig in the dirt.. plant something beautiful and watch it grow under your loving care. Take the time to care for yourself. you ARE worth it.

I hope you will stick around the forum. We usually have a daily thread that we just check in with each other every day.. tell how we are doing, whats going on, daily struggles. Would love to see you there.

[meg 1+2]

You Go Linda...you are doing great!!!!!!

Welcome Gemini,

You and I have a lot in common. For one thing I am soon to hit the big 50, I have gained about 60 pounds in the last 8 years while going through my change. I have always struggled with my weight, but always kept it within reason. This now is a battle!! I used to think I was fat at 150, wow, I'd give anything to be that fat again. That is when I wish I learned to like myself, if I had, I don't think I'd be in this place I am now.

I experience all the same emotions; depression, low to NO self esteem, hopelessness and yes sadness. I can't say I have felt lonely as I have a large family and they keep me busy (thank goodness). The hardest thing for me right now is one of my sons is getting married in August and I haven't lost a pound. I have no desire to look for a dress and I know I have to start. (Linda don't yell at me tonight) As you will see Gemini, we do have some good friends here that love and support us.

I have been on Thyroid meds for hypothyrodism for the last 17 years, had my gallbladder removed 27 years ago, so along with everything else I have a few medical problems in my way also. I go to the gym 4 days a week and as Linda said, the exercising becomes part of you and I actually miss it when I don't go. I am back to being pretty active (after recovering from an accident). Getting back to a good exercise routine has cleared my mind of a lot of negativity. It is truley amazing how cleansing exercise can be. Just a 15 minute walk down the street can make all the difference in the world. I do this alone (with my music) when I need to think or I drag my hubby with me when I need to vent LOL. I also have a friend that I walk with and we have a great time solving all the problems of the world as we walk...before we know it and hour has passed. The best part of this is when I return home, I DO NOT look for food and I have a lot of energy to do other things that keep me away from temptation.

I am doing all the right things, now I am waiting for the results, but in the meantime, I am trying really hard to accept myself for the person that I am, not for the person that I see in the mirror everyday. As we all know, this is easier said than done.

Please keep coming to talk to us. I really believe it is helpful to know that we are not alone. Hearing that someone else has the same problems...well there is that old saying, "misery loves company" LOL Just kidding but it does help to know we are not isolated in our battle.

Take care and do something nice for yourself~~~~~Meg

[liz321]

Welcome Gem Max! Liz

[Leenie]

Hi !!!!!

Welcome to our little corner of the world. I can relate to thinking about food constantly. I will have to share some input from a book I am currently reading. Tomorrow when the boss it out I will write more !!

Until then,

TTYL, Love, Leens