Weight Loss Support - I'm Scared

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03-06-2009, 06:09 PM
Ive been really nervous and anxious lately about reaching my goal. because i know its a life time of maintaining, and im scared that i wont be able to do it, i want to live the normal life of a 20 year old and drink and eat cake on my 21st bday and i want to go out to dinner with my friends, and tailgate and have BBQ's and im scared that im going to gain it all back. I'm scared that once i reach goal i wont be able to stay there.

03-06-2009, 06:23 PM
You don't have to be perfect to maintain. I've been maintaining since August, and since then I have had many episodes of pizza, birthday cake, BBQ, etc. The main thing is to incorporate those foods into an overall healthy lifestyle. I don't eat like that every day, but I do sometimes. And the rest of the time I eat very healthy. Even when I do eat, say, at a BBQ, I might choose grilled chicken and a green salad. I exercise regularly, monitor my weight often, and eat healthy, controlled portions most of the time. And when I don't, I get back on my plan immediately.

03-06-2009, 06:28 PM
I think it is important to know your weight. I lost 90 lbs. and felt terrific. I started going back to some of my old ways including not weighing myself. If I only would of done that one thing I wouldn't be here today 35 lbs heavier. Take it from me you do have to monitor it once you get there. Never take it for granted.

03-06-2009, 06:33 PM
My experience is very similar to Midwife. I eat very, very well MAJORITY of the time. I look at my social schedule for the month ahead and I decide BEFORE HAND which events I will splurge at and which I will stay on plan for.

Also keep in mind, that when you get to goal, you will be so thrilled to be there, that you'll actually WANT to pass up on "those" foods most of the time, just so that you can STAY at your goal.

03-06-2009, 06:44 PM
Just plan your restaurant meals & birthday cake events in advance :)

I always plan my calories in advance so I can enjoy what I want to eat. If you do that especially for special events, you can sit back, enjoy your treats and friends and not worry about packing on unwanted pounds! :)

You don't have to be afraid!! :) Enjoy yourself!! :)

~ tea

03-06-2009, 07:50 PM
I 100% agree with Tea! I wont go out to eat without planning where we're going first, and finding the calorie contents on the dish I plan on eating, etc.

I also agree with RockinRobin! It feels like ages since I started changing my life, and I can not WAIT for the moment the scale shows at least 155lbs, if not even less!

Congrats on almost being there!!

03-06-2009, 08:14 PM
Why don't you do a french style diet? You can have whatever you want as long as you use portion control and don't eat when you're not hungry. I don't count calories too much anymore and I'm still gradually losing. In reality diets really don't work. So pick something that is very easy to do and add more activity into your lifestyle.

03-06-2009, 08:51 PM
I agree with Robin and midwife. Maintenance does include some splurges now and again. You need to plan for them. But, you will find that - having changed your lifestyle - you will still make wise choices both in what you eat, and how much you eat during those special occasions.

Don't be concerned that you won't be able to enjoy your life. I enjoy food more now than I ever did at 200+ lbs.

03-06-2009, 10:57 PM
My experience with maintenance is the same as midwife's, rockinrobin's, and everyone else. I've been maintaining for a couple of years now and there have been lots of dinners out with friends and lots of birthday cake (not just my own). No tailgating, but then I'm not into football.

Sometimes when I'm out with friends I drink, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I try to stay on plan, sometimes I splurge. When I can plan my meal choices in advance, I usually do, but that's not always possible (not all restaurants offer nutritional data and I can't really expect my friends to provide nutritional data for the meals they serve at dinner parties). If I can't plan my meals in advance, I don't worry about it. One meal off-plan here and there doesn't impact my weight, so long as I stay on plan most of the time.

It's all about trade-offs. There's a wide range of what is considered an exceptable healthy weight. For example, at my height, based on current BMI charts, anywhere from 108 to 145 lbs is considered a normal, healthy weight. To maintain at 108 lbs, I'd have to exercise a lot and eat very very clean. To maintain at 145 lbs, I could get away with only exercising a few times a week and I'd probably be able to eat out once a week, if not more often. I've ended up somewhere in the middle. I'm not happy with myself at 145 lbs so I'm willing to give up some things to weigh less but I can't manage the lifestyle changes necessary for 108 lbs.

You end up maintaining at weight where you are happy with how you look but you also are happy with the lifestyle you are able to lead. Sometimes that means you maintain a little higher weight than what you originally thought your goal would be. Or it might mean that you don't eat out as much. Or maybe you exercise a little more or at a higher intensity. You'll find a balance that works for you.

03-06-2009, 11:05 PM
What's wrong with cake on your birthday? It's only once a year, and you're not eating like half a frosted monster; get something super delicious and have a decent portion. Your social life doesn't have to dissolve just because you want to be healthy. Since when does 'normal' revolve around what you eat? It's not some golden privilege of youth to stuff your face--most of the people who don't have to watch their intake now will pay for it later in life when their metabolism slows and they can't change their long-standing hot-dog chomping habits.

03-07-2009, 12:35 AM
I remember feeling exactly the same way. The reality is that I do splurge sometimes, but also that it's worth it for me NOT to splurge most of the time! I don't feel deprived like I thought I would. (At least not most of the time)

03-07-2009, 02:26 AM
Thanks guys. its good to know theres hope for me... lol. it was just something i was thinking about earlier. but i do see that i can plan my stuff ahead i guess one meal didnt put on all this weight the first time...

03-07-2009, 03:04 AM

I'd recommend you read/buy/check out from ur local library:

"French women don't get fat" by Mireille Guiliano. It's the classic book on enjoying whatever you like via portion control. (It's also out in paperback too, fyi).

:) ~ tea

03-07-2009, 06:19 AM
Thanks guys. its good to know theres hope for me... lol. it was just something i was thinking about earlier. but i do see that i can plan my stuff ahead i guess one meal didnt put on all this weight the first time...

I think it's GREAT that you're thinking ahead. We all know that losing the weight is just the beginning of the journey. Keeping it off, that's the continuance and the longer part.

With good habits in place, ones you will learn while losing, tweak as you go along, awareness and a set plan, there's no reason at all to gain the weight back or to have and enjoy an occasional splurge without gaining weight.

And again, your idea of "fun", how you view socializing and eating, and what constitutes a splurge will change. I'm pretty certain of it. In fact, it's kinda cool, to NOT want to devour everything you see in sight, while having a great time (most likely even better with all the added confidence and great clothing you'll be wearing) nonetheless. :smug: