Okay, so I'm usually just a regular lurker, but I'm at the point where a good rant might make me feel better!
Recently, I've been hanging out with this guy a lot. We've been studying together and even though we just met, we have a lot of mutual friends (this happens when you're at a smaller school!) so we've been running into each other a lot over the weekends as well. Anyway, he's great, a total sweetheart and we get on really well. So naturally, I got excited a little excited with the idea that our new little relationship was going some where.
That was until last night, when he told me he's really interested in one of my (blonde, beautiful and definitely not overweight) friends who I introduced to him last weekend at a party. I guess the only place this is going fast is the friend zone.
Normally, I won't really let this bother me, I mean to be honest, if I had a dollar for eveytime this happed, I would not be as much of a poor college student as I am. Lately though I've just been so frustrated in the boy department. It seems the only thing I am to any boy is a friend. Don't get me wrong, I think friendship is super important, but after 20 years of never having a boy want to date me, kiss me, or even say he's interested in me, but finding plenty who just want to play the role of big brother, it starts to get to ya! Sometimes I just get tired of being Gracie--the sweet, nice, funny friend.
UGH. boys.
Alright, sorry this kind of turned into a pity party...just writining down has made me feel better though! Have a nice day everyone!
Boys can be so oblivious! I wouldn't worry about guys so much. The ones that haven't shown an interest are missing out on a great person. But a guy WILL come along and see what a wonderful person you are! Just be patient...
Ya, that's happened to me before. It sucks no matter what way you look at it.
Whatever you do, I recommend that if you like him to the point that you can't just be friends with him than you more or less don't hang out with him any more. The number of friends I've seen torture themselves by hanging around with guys who they like who don't feel the same way is outrageous. It's like a private form of torture where you keep hoping they'll change their minds, meanwhile the guy talks about other girls the whole time.
Last edited by hotnewspirits; 02-26-2009 at 12:49 PM.
Reason: spelling!
Oh god that post was stolen RIGHT outta my diary!!! I could tell these stories to NO end!!!!! I get SO Frustrated, and they bring up 'the other girl' like the thought of dating YOU has never ever crossed their mind..ugh i agree...BOYS!! ha ha
Oh, yeah.
I've had it happen. Whether the EXACT same situation, or even if it's just the cute waiter at the restaurant you and your girlfriend went to. Being friends with beautiful people can be hard. Especially when that cute waiter talks directly and ONLY to her, even while taking MY order. Painful.
I'm sure it seems like you'll never find a guy who's interested, because I've often felt that way. But I ASSURE you, you're wrong. You'll meet someone, and you'll wonder why you ever stressed so much.
I'm of the opinion that guys are generally oblivious to subtle hints, suggestions etc in this whole area. They just don't think like we do...
I've always been very direct. If I liked someone I told them so; if they didn't reciprocate oh well and I moved on. At least I knew and it wasn't the end of the world; I didn't waste time pulling at petals saying "He loves me... he loves me not." Maybe I'm just impatient.
dude, i used to get friend zoned so much!
i don't know what changed, or when it changed, but i've been having to bro zone boys lately. it's weird and i'm always apprehensive about doing it because i know how hard it sucks.
Oh, I know how you feel. This happened to me just a few weeks ago. There was this guy that I thought really liked me. He said a few things to me and I thought he was going to ask me out... for sure! Then, he updated his facebook relationship and added a picture of him and another girl on his facebook profile. Blah!! I think that I misread all the signals. The poor guy was just being nice, and here I start developing a crush on him.
I wish I could meet somebody, though. I use to love being single. I could do what I want, when I want!! And it just didn't bother me at all. ...But I think it is time that Mr Right comes into my life now. I would love to have somebody to share things with, and not just being the single friend that 'probably won't have a date' (for real, wedding invitations addressed to me doesn't even say "plus one" )
I also know some single guys and they always go for the best looking girls. Blond, skinny who wear short dresses with very high heels (not that I wouldn't have worn the same if I had a body like that). It sometimes feel that no decent guy will ever look my way.
But!! We should not give up!! I am convinced that somewhere there are guys out there that feels JUST like we do.
See, the thing is you say that all these boys just want to be friends, but you don't really know that, do you? I mean guys can be just as shy as use girls are.
And the best relationships usually start out as friendships. Just be patient. You'll get yours in due time!
I know how you feel. In highschool I was always the nice friend and I think my female friends didn't see me as much competition, I was the fat girl in the group.
Now in college I don't have no friends (pitiful I know but thats what I get when I live 30 minutes away and are extremely introverted). In 20 years just like you no boy has ever asked me out or ever looked at me in that way. You are probaly feeling down but don't let it get to you. Boys are boys they just want the pretty girlfriend right now, he'll see later that he missed a great person.
Oh dear... I'm afraid I know this feeling FAR too well. I have never had a boyfriend, a date, or even a kiss! I have plenty of male friends (and god knows I've had plenty of crushes), but no boy has ever shown even the slightest bit of romantic interest in me.
Yeah, it hurts... But I do truly believe in what everyone else has said--there's someone for everyone, and you'll find yours. I know it sounds SO corny to say the whole, "You have to kiss a lot of toads before you find the prince!" (and I would totally be rolling my eyes if someone said that to me, so feel free, LOL!) but secretly I do believe that it's true. And even though I'm still overweight and have a ways to go until goal, the difference I've already seen in male attention has been fairly significant--I attribute that both to the fact that I have a slightly more physically attractive body now as WELL as to the greater confidence that I've gotten from losing weight. So yeah, as long as you keep doin' what you're doin', the only place you can go is up! You're doing this for yourself because you love yourself and you know that you deserve to be happy and healthy, and eventually you will find someone who agrees!
Wow, you girls are awesome and it's always nice to hear that I'm not alone. I completely agree with what you are saying--I do think there is someone for everyone. I just get impacient at times and completely fed up with the seemingly endless cluelessness of some men! And don't worry, I'm not too attatched to this particular boy. I think it was more of the idea that something could have possibly happened. So in other words, there's no pointless pining going on, at least not on my end!
I know what you mean there. Somehow this topic came up for me and I mentioned this, and I was told that I am pushing people away/not trying/it's my fault, which I didn't appreciate at all. A friend told me last summer that she respects that I have such "high standards." I'm like, I don't have high standards, it's just that guys just want to be friends with me, nothing else... So that bummed me out a bit. Maybe it's partly me, but I am not taking all the blame, I do think a lot of guys just don't see overweight women as "datable" and you get shoved into this little sister/mother/etc category despite your best efforts,and I always felt like a third wheel alongside skinny, pretty friends because I was always the single one. [/rant]
OT: The friend zone...
Sorry to hear about it, I totally empathize! It sucks!!
