Body Image and Issues after Weight Loss - Are you pregnant?

I get asked this question just about every day!!!
It is so wicked annoying.

Of course the fact that I work in women's health care and take care of many pregnant women sort of sets the tone...

But it just happened again:

she "are you pregnant?"
me "no, this is what happened after being pregnant."
she "oh, so your baby was just born?"
me "no, not at all."

tummy tuck..... I long for you :p

maybe they will learn you shouldn't never ask a woman if she is pregnant. sheesh.

Oy, put them on the spot with, "Why do you ask?"

I just cannot believe anyone ever asks that. It's the stupidest thing ever.

Beat her. Senselessly.

Beat her. Senselessly.

Wouldn't that be redundant?

Yes. It was tongue in cheek and meant to be slightly of a humorous nature. :)

Actually someone asked me the same question while I was shopping in the infant department about a month after I gave birth to my first son.I started crying immediately.She just looked at me and walked away with this "get me away from this crazy lady" look on her face.My dh still brings this up 18 years later.He thought it was hysterical.Great motivater though.I lost 60 lbs in 6 months.

Beat her. Senselessly.

can't afford a messy lawsuit right now :p

details, details.....

Oy, put them on the spot with, "Why do you ask?"


:rofl:

Awk-warrrrrd...

When people ask me this I simply look at them and say deadpan "no I am just fat".

Ugh...I've been asked that and I had my son 2yrs ago. A couple of months ago I was at the supermarket with my dad, we were in line paying but he was in front of the cart loading the stuff on the belt and I was in back of the cart...he accidentally pushed the cart a bit and it hit my stomach and the cashier was like "aaww..he hit your belly" as in omg...you're pregnant and this man knocked the cart into the baby....I came home and cried, because yes...my belly is still kind of shaped pregnant like...why is that??? That's one of the biggest issues I have with myself...if I just looked fat ok, but no...my stomach is still a lil round so I look pregnant/fat.

I am a firm believer that the only time someone should even consider asking a woman if she's pregnant, is if they happen to notice a baby coming out of their body. Then and only then. Maybe.

I've been asked it. And I wasn't. And it doesn't feel good. And I'm not sure why anyone would ask that.

:rofl:

When I worked in a nursing home a few years back, I was at around 270 pounds then. One day, I had been working really hard and this little lady that lived in the home stopped me and asked "Are you expecting?" And I know she was asking if I was pregnant. My response was "Yes, I am expecting to pass out at any moment from all this work!" Then I kept on doing what I was doing.

onederchic that was a good one!!! lol

Hehe thanks :D

What's even more awkward is when they just assume you're pregnant and don't even bother to ask. I’ve never had a kid and I was in a courtroom with a friend over a speeding ticket (hers, not mine) and this old guard hobbled up to me and quite loudly asked me when I was due and made a gesture toward my stomach. Of course, it just echoed and echoed all across that courtroom (they are quite good for that.) I stammered a bit before I quickly mumbled that I wasn't preggers and sat down. The top I was wearing probably didn't have anything to do with it, but I never did wear it again!

beat her senselessly lol! nah, don't do it haha but once in my aerobics class someone thought I was pregnant and I was like yup I am pregnant with twins and I told my mom what happened when I got back from class she laughed so hard cause I am not the type of person to lie.

I've used the "why do you ask?" method a few times -- it works for all sorts of nosey questions!

Sheesh! People can be so rude at times! That woman will get her due after she has her child and people ask if she's pregnant.;)

And even if a woman IS pregnant, why do people feel they have the right to ask questions about her body if she doesn't volunteer the information? I hear ALOT of people ask pregnant women when they're due and launch into seriously TMI about their own pregnancies and deliveries or those of friends and family members.

I was once pretty much berated by our secretary at an old job about this. She was convinced I was pregnant and was being SO rude. I finally said Alice I am just fat just like you! yeah I can be kinda feisty!

I was once pretty much berated by our secretary at an old job about this. She was convinced I was pregnant and was being SO rude. I finally said Alice I am just fat just like you! yeah I can be kinda feisty!

:rofl: priceless

I got asked once this question at the office
2 of my coworkers were pregnant, and one day we had job interviews for a new job opening. One of the girls who got out my boss's office came to me and said : ohhhhhh so that's you who's pregnant!!!

Me : no, I'm just fat :D

No need to say she didnt work for us?
LOL

Wow, people never cease to amaze me. I'm surprised I never got asked this, because before I started losing, I did look pg. Luckily my tummy has flattened itself back out.

I NEVER say anything about a woman being pregnant unless I know them well, or are 100% sure because they are about to pop. Even then, it's just a "congratulations"

If someone did ask me, I would probably lie and say "oh in a few months" especially if they are strangers. Then I would go home and cry my eyes out.

Try "We just tried to conceive last night. Do you really think it shows already?"

I got asked if I was pregnant by a random woman in a parking lot. It was 2 years ago now but I *still* remember it because it was so upsetting. Like the poster above, I have never worn that shirt I was wearing again.

Yeah, I agree with the shirt thing. I was wearing a shirt I bought when I was pregnant (but it was not a maternity top), and this woman asked me if I was "hoping for a girl this time," (my 2 little boys were with me) and I said, "What time?" She said, "Aren't you pregnant?" I said no, and I was so embarrassed, I would never go to that store again. I wear the shirt to sleep in now.

I've never had kids. AFTER having maintained my weight loss for two years, I got asked if I was pregnant. :faint: It never happened to me when I was fat, but apparently now that I'm a normal size, if I slouch, people think it's a "baby bump." Argh! Luckily the woman who asked was just as embarrassed as I was.

Try "We just tried to conceive last night. Do you really think it shows already?"

LOVE IT!!

I've never been asked this, but I know friends who have. It's such a crappy experience. Unless that baby is crowning you just don't even ask that question. A friend of mine got asked if she was PG, when she said no with her deadpan expression the woman who asked said "oh, you're just glowing like a pregnant woman." Not quite sure that would make me feel any better at all.

Originally Posted by JulieJ08
Try "We just tried to conceive last night. Do you really think it shows already?"
lol i never heard that respons before lol

I've never been asked, but when I was 16-17, around TOM my stomach would get really bloated. My mom knew I was sexually active and I'd always catch her looking at my stomach!

I didn't confront her because it made me feel so weird.

At work a friend of mine said a girl I was talking to was pregnant, and asked me to ask her about it. Because she wasn't sure, I never did because I always had that 'what if?' feeling inside. Turns out she wasn't, and she's just lost 40 or so pounds with Dr. Bernstein!

I'm glad I never asked. In my head it makes sense to not ask that unless your sure, why don't other women/men get it?

Bump.
I just posted in a big belly thread and it made me think of this one.
Here ya go,

At my maintenance weight, I am asked if I am pregnant regularly. Of course, I work with pregnant women, so the idea is very present

However, recently, I went to Victoria Secret to purchase a push up bra, and the sales person, as she was measuring me (at my LOWEST weight, and I was feeling darn good about it) asked me if I was expecting.
I said, "YES, I am expecting a tummy tuck!!!!"
Sh said, "oh, did you just have a baby?"
I said "NO."
And we left it at that.

Oops. That had to have been embarrassing for her...

:hug: to you. :)

" no, I am just fat" - I used to say that when I was pregnant too, just to make people uncomfortable. hehe.

BAck a few years ago when we were still thinking of having kids when someone would say "when are you due?" I'd say "in about 2-3 years, at least that's the plan" I'd usually get the "oh, you aren't pregnant" "no, I'm just fat"

Once my hubby had a hernia caused by a bad bike accident, so it was a long time where any type of "physical" activity was basically out of the question and I got "when are you due?" "I'm not, I'm fat." "Oh, you don't have a little bun in the oven?" "No, you got to be kitchen in order to have that bun and no bakings been going on for quite awhile." Well, ok, so it was a little bit TMI for a complete stranger but still...it was fun to see her expression as she slowly figured out what I meant.

A friend of mine who lives interstate has been complaining to me about the people she works with asking if she's pregnant. More than once. The interstate bit becomes relevant because I haven't seen her for 6 months and I'm a midwife. As is another friend, who asked me if Gems was pregnant. She kept insisting she wasn't.

Until 5 weeks ago, when a trip to the ED for severe abdo pain that no amount of medication would relieve turned into Penny, 5lb and 32 weeks.

So there's the other side of the story! You just never know...

Gemma and Penny went home on the weekend and are both doing just fine. Still a bit shocked, but fine.

I've never understood how someone could be pregnant and not know it. It seems that a little person kicking around inside would let a person know.
Primm, does this happen often? Since you're a midwife, you're in the field.

If it hadn't happened to me on multiple occasions in my life, I'd never believe that people could be this rude!! I was asked if I was pregnant 3 times in like 3 weeks after just having a miscarriage. Fun times!

I had an employee ask me if a colleague was pregnant and I told her flat out that I was really sure the woman was not pregnant. She went right up to her in front of me and asked the woman if she was having a baby :rolleyes:. And no the woman was pregnant. Some people have no class!

Well, I have to admit when I was younger-like around high school age. I did have a habit of asking when is the baby due? You know just to be polite, so I thought. After a few dirty looks and snapped replies I quickly learned not to ask that question.

So I can understand young people asking because they haven't really learned tact and a good embarrassing moment for them will teach them... but what I don't understand is when older people who really should know better ask the question.

I've never understood how someone could be pregnant and not know it. It seems that a little person kicking around inside would let a person know.
Primm, does this happen often? Since you're a midwife, you're in the field.

More often than you'd think. And they're not all 15 year olds in denial either, the most recent one at my work was a 30-something university educated married social worker who had been trying to fall pregnant.

Having had 2 children, I can't understand it either...

I don't understand what the fascination is with other people's pregnancies anyways. Like the strangers who come up to pregnant women and poke their bellies. If I ever change my mind about having kids and/or have an oops, I will get arrested for assault because I will slap the first person who touches my stomach.

Gaahhh...people who think pregnant bellies are communty property.../shudder/. It always creeped me out when I was PG.

When I gained weight after my younger daughter was born, my mother and sister used to gossip about whether or not I was pregnant again. It usually led to some awkward conversations.

The only stranger to ask me the embarassing-expecting-question was a doctor about 6 weeks after same daughter's birth. I had a terrible head cold that getting into my chest. He asked if I was under any other doctors' care and I said that I had just seen my ob/gyn. Before I could explain any further, he asked when the baby was due. I said, "um, she was born over a month ago." Even he had the good grace to blush.

I've only been asked by children if I'm pregnant. My face, arms, legs (well, everything really) are fat enough that adults get it.

One of my jobs is lifeguarding and pregnant women are not allowed in the hot tub because the heat is a potential hazzard for the baby. So if we suspect that a woman in the hot tub is pregnant we have to go talk to her about it. So far I've never been wrong, but it makes me really nervous!

I had two old men on different occasions ask me that.. thats what inspired me to start losing weight!

I always want to reply with "No I'm just fat" and watch their faces turn bright red but have never had the nerve!!

My favorite "Are you pregnant" story is one evening I was shopping wearing a very baggy poochy sweatshirt and the checkout lady at the grocery store asked me when my baby was due.

The best part was that for 2 years after she would ask me how my baby was doing. She remembered thinking I was pg at one point but NEVER remembered that I never was. Even though I told her every single time that I had never ever been pregnant and no, she didnt remember me being pregnant, she simply remembered me fat.


MTA: oddly when I WAS pregnant, I seemed to have very few people ask about it until I was SOOOO damn pregnant that it was either that or a tumor. And even then I had a podiatrist very carefully avoid asking it even though I wrote it on the intake and it was extremely relevant to my collapsed metatarsal arch.

I always want to reply with "No I'm just fat" and watch their faces turn bright red but have never had the nerve!!

I have ALWAYS had the nerve. Why should I be polite when they arent.

I have ALWAYS had the nerve. Why should I be polite when they arent.

I also have responded this way. Many times. Not one person even seemed the least bit embarrassed!:p