Weight Loss Support - Another "What would you have done" thread

02-24-2009, 09:34 PM
There is always something to eat at work, cakes, donuts, cookies, bagels and today was no exception. We had red velvet cake for a birthday, I passed on it (yay me). Now I have not spread the word about my weight loss journey but everyone knows because I have been skipping all the junk food and everyone has been really supportive, they don't try and talk me into anything.

So, I am sitting at my desk and my boss-my new boss-comes up to me with these giant chocolate chocolate chip cookies and says "I know you are on a diet, but you have to have one of these they are fantastic, you can have one it won't hurt you". I took one, broke off a fourth and ate it in front of her and yes it was really good, this made her happy. After she left I threw the rest away.

What would you have done?

02-24-2009, 09:38 PM
Either what you did, or said something like "I just finished lunch but I'll save it for this afternoon" or "I'll save it for my dessert tonight!" and then thrown it away...with a new boss I probably wouldn't have challenged it or said I wasn't going to eat it.

02-24-2009, 09:38 PM
If my habits lately are any indication I woulda stuffed it in my face eep!

This is going to sound horrible but my boyfriend has juvenile diabetes and so he has a ready made excuse when he wants to turn down food! No one is going to pressure a diabetic to eat anything sugary.

I should be able to say "I'd love to, but I'm allergic to pastries :D"

02-24-2009, 09:42 PM
It depends on how good that cookie really looked!! ;)

02-24-2009, 09:43 PM
I think I would have said something to the effect of "Thank you so much, they look great, but really, I can't." Or, in answer to it won't hurt you -- in a laughing way I might have said, "Oh, but trust me, it will. Really, I can't have any, but it looks delicious." But of course, this is all easy for me to say, especially since I work from home and never have these office pressures or interpersonal interactions!

You did well; you were caught off guard, you only ate a bit, and you tossed the rest! The thing to be careful of, though, is your new boss developing a habit of forcing food on you; you may find yourself in the awkward position of having to draw the line at some point and asking her to stop. To me, better sooner than later!

Good luck!

02-24-2009, 10:22 PM
Well- I'm not sure what I would have done. What I would do with most people that are food pushers is this. I would tell them that I do not want any. If they insist, I would take it and drop it in the trash. IMO anyone that does that to you is being disrespectful of you. It is presumptuous of another person to assume that they know what will or will not "hurt" you.

With a new boss, I don't know. I would probably tell them first that I am only going to throw it away so they would probably rather give it to someone else.

I had chocolate chip cookies waved under my face at church the other day but I declined immediately "No. Thank you." The person looked surprised that I declined but didn't push so she's still ok. :p Honestly, I have tasted store bought cookies since starting South Beach and I think they taste pretty horrible now, even if they came from a store's bakery so they aren't nearly as tempting (for me) as everyone seems to think.

Great job on throwing the rest in the trash! If it actually WAS good, I probably would have eaten the whole thing. --- That's why there are no homemade cookies allowed in my house!

02-24-2009, 10:33 PM
I too would have just said "THANKS it looks yummy but I am full so I will eat it later!"

Most def keep the peace with the person who picks who gets laid off and get raises and bonuses! LOL! :D

02-24-2009, 10:35 PM
I too would have just said "THANKS it looks yummy but I am full so I will eat it later!"

Most def keep the peace with the person who picks who gets laid off and get raises and bonuses! LOL! :D

lol - maybe it's a good thing I already don't have a job! I wasn't even thinking about that.


02-24-2009, 10:43 PM
Personally, I wouldn't eat carbs like that for--well, you'd probably have to hand me a hundred dollar bill at the same time, and then I'd think about it. Otherwise, no. I would have just said, that is so sweet, thank you, but I can't. YAY for you for only eating 1/4th of it though! My problem is, I can't control myself around carbs so if I had accepted it, I would have shoveled it all in then gone to the break room and eaten the rest of the red velvet cake and whatever else was around...you are far stronger than I...I guess the one good thing is, I know my limitations, so no cookies for me, ever...

02-24-2009, 11:45 PM
I could have probably cracked under pressure and done the same thing. I did actually early in my journey. My boss (as well lol) is always eatting all sorts of junk food and offering it to me. About 15lb into my weight loss he was like these cookies are so good you have to have one and gave me one. I cracked and had a tiny bite of it. Then when he went in the other room I threw the rest of it away.

Just stay strong and dont let that be the breaker point. Somthing alot of us do or have done is look at it like well I already blew my diet so I can just eat everything and anything I want. Its not like that. You've already lost 13lb so obviously you can do it. Just stay on track, tomorrows a new day.

Yes you may have eatten a bite of it, but it still shows a bit of willpower that you didnt eat the whole thing and threw most of it away.

02-24-2009, 11:48 PM
http://www.3fatchicks.net/img/bar079/cartoonstar01/lb/188/135/175/.png (http://www.3fatchicks.com/)

I would have done exactly what you did, I hope. I think you handled it really well. Good job and no harm done.

02-24-2009, 11:55 PM
I think you handled it really well, too. You didn't take on much in extra calories/fat, but you also didn't alienate the new boss. I think what the new boss did was lame and sort of passive-aggressive even, but she's the boss, and some amount of "keeping the peace" is probably a worthwhile thing in an office. I also think that, since you went along with it this first time, she won't have a leg to stand on the next time you decline a treat... it's not like you NEVER accept anything, right? :)

02-25-2009, 12:14 AM
She has actually brought in other stuff that I have turned down, I think the main reason I took the cookie was she was offering it to me personally. jajabee I think you're right, this will make it easier to say no next time.

I have surprised myself with being able to turn down the junk.....I love junk which is why I am where Im at now. It seems to be getting easier to not eat all the snacks and sweets (at least for now), hopefully I can continue. This site has really helped a great deal, reading all the posts from people going thru the same thing is a motivation tool for me.

02-25-2009, 01:57 AM
I think you handled it excellently - I think people see food as a bonding experience, and traditionally it is really important for that. For me, that's a really hard part of eating well, because food really can make you feel good and people wanting to share that with you is a pretty personal thing (which could be why some people are offended when you refuse). But because there are so many "feel good" foods that are high in calories, low in nutrition, and "trigger" foods, and these are often the foods people share (when was the last time someone brought veggies into the office?), it's hard to avoid!

My roommates do much the same as your boss - there's late night ice cream, cookies, fondue, wine and cheese. Not all at once, but I get offered something fairly often! It gives us a chance to sit and catch up, which is hard when there's 5 of us. I do much the same as you did: accept but just eat less. I get the best of both worlds - the social bonding of food, without overeating! It sounds like you did, too :)

02-25-2009, 02:04 AM
Exactly what you did...or at least tried too. You have better willpower than I! :lol:

02-25-2009, 07:21 AM
I think you did the best thing under the circumstances.

I have no off-limits foods, but I do have some things that I can't partake of. One is alcohol and another is clams. In those cases, I would have to turn my boss down, with an explanation, and it wouldn't matter whether it was the best stuff on earth. The clams could send me to the hospital!

For a cookie? Yeah, I'd taste it like you did. And I'd wait until I got away from work to toss the rest. Or, if I had room in my daily food plan for it, I'd eat it. But with sugary stuff there's often a danger of triggering and wanting more, so I'd need to think hard about that.


02-25-2009, 09:40 AM
I'm going to agree with everyone so far that said you did wonderfully. To be honest, I'm totally impressed that you managed to eat a small amount and throw the rest away. Cookies are definitely a weakness of mine!

I had this problem with a client once a while back when I was trying to lose weight. She'd stop at the (really expensive!) bakery on the way to my facility and buy treats... with the same excuse your boss gave. Worked great for her, I guess; she (by her own admission) had a ridiculously fast metabolism and also smoked heavily to boost it. Me? I could get fat just looking at those pastries.

And then there was the other problem: I was taking alli. No, maybe "just one" treat wouldn't hurt me... but in my case, it wouldn't only make me long for more sugary treats, it could also ruin my pants. I didn't want to let this individual know I was on alli. She'd made rather rude comments about it when it came out ("How fat would you have to be to be that desperate? Just quit eating so much and you won't have to take some pill that makes you leak in your pants."). So I came up with other excuses.

"Wow, I just ate, but that little cake will be so perfect with a glass of wine this evening!" "Goodness, I really appreciate it, but I'm just not feeling that well today. I hope I'm not getting that bug that's going around." "That was so sweet of you, but I think [insert someone else's name] would enjoy that so much more. Remember, I'm lactose intolerant, and I bet that cream filling won't sit right with me." Anything.

Some of the pastries I would immediately pass on to someone else present, all while mentioning how sweet the gesture was and looking ever-so-envious while the new recipient would rave about it. Some I would wrap up "for later" and then pass it on to someone else after the client had left. Occasionally, if I didn't see another way out, I'd take a small bite, declare the dessert "wonderfully rich," and point out that it would have to wait until later - it was rich enough to "make me really thirsty, and you know if I drink that bottle of water I'll be running to the restroom mid-lesson!"

My experience with this individual, which I imagine could be true of others like her, was that she actually did want to sabotage my efforts on some level. I think in some subconscious way it made her feel superior to know she could eat things like that in moderation and be thin, while others of us couldn't resist them and wouldn't be able to lose weight. She verbally tore down overweight people frequently enough that it was pretty obvious she needed that feeling of superiority she got from it.

No doubt plenty of these "just one won't hurt you" individuals are just plain clueless. But I imagine there are also people out there like this woman that, though they probably wouldn't want to admit it even to themselves, would prefer to keep fat people fat.

Anyway... the result of my continuing refusal to eat these treats? She finally gave up and stopped bringing them. It took a while, but she did give up.

Lori Bell
02-25-2009, 10:02 AM
I agree with newleaf123 in that you probably need to nip this in the bud before your boss is offering you something daily....

I for one would have probably took 2 and told her, "These look great, my poor kids are cookie deprived every since I decided to trash all the junk food from the house, They will LOVE them."

And since they really are cookie deprived I'd take them home and give them each one and they would be THRILLED for a little treat.

02-25-2009, 10:08 AM
I think, obviously, everyone would have handled that situation in their own way. Me, I would have had the cookie, but probably not all of it due to the fact that I tend to not finish sweet tasting things lol. I fill up or have had enough lol.

When my birthday rolled around my family bought vegan goodies for me and I tried every one of them. I mean it is my birthday, I'm not going to deprive myself. When I make a dessert, like a raw food tart and believe me it is still high in fat, I always have a slice, but usually just one and I'm satisfied. I guess for me if it is stuff sitting around that have no importance or are special then I just simply don't want it. However, if it is something like my birthday or someone offering me something they've baked, then I will always participate gladly. :)

For me there are just some things I don't want and clearly if I was in an office setting where there are tons of sweets and other things I wouldn't really care, but I can totally understand how for a lot of people that would be a struggle. I guess it is like me and hummus. I love the stuff, it is around me I'll eat it. lol. I don't mean just eat it, but like all of it lol hahahahaha. Being in an office setting with like oodles of hummus, olives, and other nice things like that would drive me mad!

I think you handled it well. While I don't believe in depriving myself of things, I do believe in being strong. You can also take a sweet thing and save half for later or for someone else too. I think taking them home or sharing with other people is not only fun, but it gives you a tactful way out too. :carrot:

02-25-2009, 10:17 AM
I think you handled it well. I dont have any off limit foods, and so depending on where I was calorie wise, and what I had planned for dinner, I may have had just a piece of it, or half of it, and then would have brought the rest home to my husband. :p He'd kill me if he found out I threw out a perfectly good cookie :)

02-25-2009, 10:36 AM
I prpbably would have eaten it, ALL, and felt horrible and started a binge.-- on a bad day.

on a good day maybe I could have done what you did. YAY YOU!!!!

02-25-2009, 01:25 PM
I think you handled it very well, especially given how it was sprung on you unexpectedly. :D

Right now I have the convenient excuse of having to avoid dairy, and even when my other kids outgrew their dairy sensitivities at about a year, I would still use that excuse to avoid things.

02-25-2009, 01:44 PM
I would have taken the cookie, thanked her and said I'd eat it later as dessert (for lunch or dinner) but really not eat it.

02-27-2009, 08:17 PM
I think you handled it very well.
BUT, if it continues and the boss keeps up as a food pusher, this becomes workplace harassment. You could say your doc has forbidden it or something if it becomes more of an issue.
I remember someone telling me a glass of wine wouldn't hurt when I was pregnant. I just think it is inappropriate to encourage people to have something like certain foods or alcohol (or drugs, would you tell someone that a little heroine or oxycodone won't hurt them?).
I don't know why people do it.
good luck, and I hope it doesn't continue. Sometimes having those "treats" is what throws you off and into cravings, when you were doing fine before that.