Weight Loss Support - Self esteem vs. weight survey...

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02-24-2009, 12:51 AM
Self esteem vs. weight survey...

On a scale of 1 to 10, how do you rate your self esteem - how you think of yourself, how many times a day you say to self I'm fat, etc... vs how many times you really say hey I'm ok overweight or not... so 1 is I am really MEAN to myself and 10 is I'm quite fine, I LIKE myself, thank you very much, overweight or not.

On a scale of 1 to 10 how overweight are you? Say 1 is just a tad bit, an 10 is obese...

I'm reading a book by a famous shrink and she claims that most weight gain is related to self esteem - if we like and love ourselves the weight wouldn't be there? So let's test that theory in this survey.

Me, I'm likely a 5 in self esteem, and a 7 in overweight, meaning 20 lbs or so to lose, more like 30 if I want to really be thinner.

02-24-2009, 01:01 AM
3 on the self esteem, 4 or 5 on the overweight, I think. (Right now I'm about 35 pounds overweight).

02-24-2009, 01:29 AM
10 self-esteem, 10 overweight. For me, there's never been any relation between my self-esteem and my weight gain; very simply, I have a chemical addiction to sugar and when it's uncontrolled I gain weight.

02-24-2009, 01:31 AM
Probably a 3 and a 10.

02-24-2009, 01:41 AM
probably a 1 and a 5.Sad.....I no.

02-24-2009, 02:02 AM
10 self-esteem, 10 overweight. For me, there's never been any relation between my self-esteem and my weight gain; very simply, I have a chemical addiction to sugar and when it's uncontrolled I gain weight.

Ditto. When I was younger, my self-esteem took a battering occasionally, but it was mostly directly a result of experiencing abuse from other people about my weight or because I thought I was "supposed to" feel crappy about myself for being fat (though I never quite understood why I was supposed to feel like crap for being unable to control my appetite, despite being an honors student, being generous, caring, creative and funny and having a decent number of friends). I guess I always felt that all the good stuff about me cancelled out my one major flaw, and I never quite understood why I felt that so few people seemed to feel that way. It was like people were shocked at my confidence and enjoyment at life - I felt like an oddball for not disliking myself (but I embraced odditude rather than choosing to listen to social convention and hate myself).

I think even at my lowest, I didn't feel very bad about myself, nearly much as I felt self-conscious. I guess I felt like there were a lot of fat rules I was supposed to follow, and I never quite knew what the rules were. Or, I'd recognize a rule, but ignore it (and feel weird that I was breaking the rule, like I'd done something illegal or something). Like swimming - I've always loved it, far too much to ever follow the well-known rule that overweight girls should never, never allow themselves to be seen in a swimming suit (and if they MUST swim, they should wear a black swimdress that nearly reaches the knees, ideally with a t-shirt over the top). I've owned two black swimming suits in my life, and I hated them both. All of my other suits were brightly colored - flashy even. Buying plus sized swimsuits with style and color, especially when you're beyond a size 26 is not an easy feat. They're out there, but you've got to do a lot of searching and you're going to pay through the nose. The first time I spent nearly $100 on a swim suit, I felt nauseous - but I loved that suit. It was a pretty green and purple floral suit with matching sarong coverup skirt. I know that my image of myself did not match the reality, but I felt gorgeous in that suit (I am really glad I don't have pictures of myself in that suit).

02-24-2009, 04:11 AM
10 for weight
6 for self-esteem, average. When I remember how much I've still to lose (75lbs) it sometimes goes down to 1 but when I remember that I'm doing b. marvellous with the weightloss, it goes up to 8.

02-24-2009, 05:35 AM
9 or a 10 for self-esteem, probably a 1 on weight.

But even when my weight was a problem, when I had 30 lbs to lose, my self-esteem was still a 9 or 10. Like Kaplods, I never felt like my weight detracted from who I was as a person. I was self-conscious about it, but I still felt good about myself.

My self-esteem is far more closely connected to my professional success. As I've grown professionally and become more accomplished and recognized in my field, my self-esteem has improved dramatically, to the point where I am now very confident about myself.

I can see where having low self-esteem might lead to weight gain, but I don't think that necessarily means that the opposite is true--that having high self-esteem leads to a healthy lifestyle and weight.

02-24-2009, 07:42 AM
I am and always have been close to a 10 on self esteem. As for weight--well, it's been stated a little vaguely. I guess I'm about a 4 at this point.

I think we could make a distinction between those who overeat because they feel less-than others, and those who overeat because they like food and/or don't realize how much they are taking in. I was in the second group.


02-24-2009, 08:44 AM
Even at my highest weight I had high self-esteem about ME. Not about my weight, maybe, but I had a strong sense of my self-worth.

02-24-2009, 09:47 AM
I am a 2-3 in self-esteem, even though there are days I could feel like an 7 or an 8. And I'm about a 7 in weight loss. I have another 60lbs to go, but I'm not morbidly obese with 200+lbs to lose.

02-24-2009, 10:48 AM
For self-esteem I am (and have always been) a 10 (or may an 11 ;) ). The weight thing is harder to judge. Based on what everyone else has said I guess I would be around 6 (22lbs to lose), but I would say I was around 3 or 4.

As for the theory we are testing.......my excess of self esteem actually made it easier for me to gain weight, because I don't really give a rat's *ahem* about how/what other people feel/think/say about me. When I was happy eating and being fat, that is where I was. When I decided to lose weight for myself......well you can see how I've done. :D

Thighs Be Gone
02-24-2009, 10:51 AM
Self-esteem I am probably a 6. Weight wise I am a 2 or 3.

02-24-2009, 11:02 AM
I would say 2 for self estem and a 8 for overweight ? I am like 50 pounds over I would say

02-24-2009, 11:02 AM
i'm a 0 on the overweight. i'm not actually overweight but still losing that last couple to get to my goal which is nice and comfy in my normal range.

as far as the self esteem i'm a 9. i'm a happy happy person and usually pretty kind to myself... but i AM still a girl and you know, b****es are b****es. hahaha

02-24-2009, 11:16 AM
My self esteem fluctuates a lot, from really low to maybe medium, and every once in a while to a bit higher - so from 2-6 maybe, with most days hitting about a 4. When I was younger it was higher, but I was in a disastrous marriage for 20 years that pretty much chipped away any normal self esteem I had...until I finally started to get over it, move on, and realize that it really, really wasn't my fault that a) it was a bad marriage after the first couple years and b) it ended. It was his fault, not mine...just took 5 years to figure that out, forgive myself and move on.

Weight ~ well it was certainly a 10 when I started. It may still be a 10 since I have somewhere between 80-130 lbs left to lose (I won't know my ideal goal weight til I get there). But considering I've lost 95 lbs so far, I hate to still be at a 10. Let's say 9. :)

So, self esteem 4, weight 9.

(Interestingly, I would say my self esteem was at its lowest at my lowest previous weight. When I was a size 14 my self esteem was probably a 1 or 2.)

02-24-2009, 11:17 AM
I've compartmentalized my self-esteem. By that, I mean I've said to myself: "Okay, I've failed on a very basic level as a woman because I have such difficulty attaining the standards of appearance set for someone of my class & income & etc. Sometimes, I've just given up & said 'to **** with it.' BUT ... I'm fairly intelligent, fairly well-read, well-educated, have published a book and am moderately accomplished in my professional life." So my self-esteem regarding my acceptability in public is very, very low. Like maybe a 2. But I have overcompensated in other areas of my life. Yes, I am fat, but I am carefully groomed & very clean, thoughtfully dressed, work hard at conversing, at being good company, at being an empathic listener. I do millions of things every day to show I'm not lazy or dull-witted or maladjusted socially, like the stereotype of an impoverished, greasy-haired fat woman. (I have phantoms haunting me from relations & their friends whom I saw as a small child.) I know I have succeeded at this level. Here, my self-esteem is more like a 6.

How overweight am I? Currently, probably a 2. Formerly, more like a 7 or 8.

Attaining a healthy weight has helped my self-esteem, but hasn't bolstered it solidly forever. I am terrified of losing all the privileges that I seem to have regained as I lost weight. I am afraid of being shunted aside as unacceptable again. And I sometimes feel exhausted at the effort being "normal" seems to require & jealous of people who don't have to work so hard. I feel as if my acceptance in the social world is conditional. It's all on me to keep that from being taken away again. And I know how dark & cold it is on the outside.

02-24-2009, 11:28 AM
Honestly I dont know what happened to me. I never thought I was fat as a child. After school, family starting tell me I needed to lose weight. And I just started gaining.

Needless to say 5-6 on Confindence, and Weight deffinately a 10

02-24-2009, 12:16 PM
I'm probably a 6 or 7 now with self esteem and a 2 or 3 with weight (10-20 pounds to lose now). I honestly don't think my self esteem has ever gone down because I was actually overweight - only because I thought I was overweight. My skinniest was in high school and my self esteem was dirt then.

02-24-2009, 12:27 PM
Self esteem- probably a 2 or 3. I have almost always had self esteem problems though. My poor self esteem ties directly in with my body image. Looking back at pictures of myself, I was never fat, just a little pudgy in my adolescent years. My mom used constantly tell me I needed to watch what I ate because my grandmother was diabetic. And she used to sing the Jello song behind me when I walked. "watch it wiggle, see it jiggle...." My body image problems started when I was about 12.

Weight- IMO I'm a 10.

Lori Bell
02-24-2009, 12:42 PM
Depends on what time of the month it is for self esteem. During the week of PMS I'd say a 3-4, the other 3 weeks out of the month it's 7-8. Though at my heaviest it was very low all of the time, because I was totally embarrassed that I let myself get into the shape I was in. So at 300+ it was probably a 1 on most days, 2 if I actually took time to put on makeup and do my hair.

As far as weight, I'm probably a 4. I'm technically around 40 pounds overweight. one point for each 10 pounds.

02-24-2009, 02:10 PM
im usually in a good mood about myself. I know Im fat, but I still see a very attractive person when I look in the mirror, so mos days is is a 7-8.

I think my weight is a 6?? maybe? not sure.

02-24-2009, 06:58 PM
I'm about a 10 with my self-esteem as well as a 10 with my weight. I achieved the 10 on the weight due to a life of very low self esteem, like around a 3. And after years of therapy and actually changing how I live and how I feel about myself, the self-esteem is very healthy.

Body image is a very different thing from self esteem, and I'd have to say that my body image is around 3. I don't like how I look at all!


02-24-2009, 07:04 PM
I guess maybe a 5 in self-esteem and 2 in weight. But I don't think my self-esteem has changed much. I didn't expect it to. My issues with self-esteem weren't related to weight in the first place.

02-24-2009, 07:11 PM
I am no longer obese so I would put myself at a five on the weight scale.

As for self esteem I would say I am also middle of the road; a five.

02-24-2009, 07:36 PM
You ladies who are high for both numbers are amazing! Women with good self esteem are the best - I think feeling better about yourself shows and you end up looking better, too.

I'd say I'm a 1 on weight - I'm technically at the top of the healthy range for my height now, but I am trying to take off about 10 more lbs to make the weight "sit better" on my body. However, my self esteem fluctuates like crazy! I don't even think I can pinpoint a number. I'm all over the place on that one.

02-24-2009, 08:17 PM
Hmmm.... I'm a 1 on the self esteem scale. Right now I would be happier if I never had to look in a mirror, because all I see are flaws. As far as weight, maybe a 5 or 6? I want to lose about 40-50 lbs.

02-24-2009, 08:27 PM
WELL... so much for the Louise Hay (author) theory that one wouldn't have to go on a "diet" if they'd just "love themselves" and practice "positive affirmations"... not saying "I love me" all the time and thinking better about ourselves isn't a good thing... BUT it appears a lot of overweight and obese people have HIGH self esteem.

I remember reading that super thin models and actors have the worst self esteem even though they are so "perfect"... Kinda strange huh? As I gained weight, went from super thin to overweight I lost some self esteem but maybe I tied too much "esteem" to my looks - to being tall and thin. And it's irritating to not be able to throw anything on and have clothes fit. But it shouldn't "ruin" my thoughts of myself as it's done.

Jay's right, there's a distinction between those of us who ate too much just liking food and those who REALLY emotionally ate and gained weight due to poor self esteem. I admire those with high self esteem but who aren't so self absorbed as I can be - worried about ME and shallow looks and not living life so long as I feel FAT.

02-24-2009, 08:46 PM
I am such a diva ;) my self esteem would rank at least a 10...I love myself! I however was raised in a culture (I'm from New Orleans) that celebrated every little celebration with food. As for the overweight chart I range think about an 8?

02-24-2009, 08:59 PM
When i was overweight my self esteem was 0 i thought everyone saw me as just the fat girl in the group.. now im a different person my self esteem is about a 10!

02-24-2009, 09:18 PM
The self esteem question is hard for me, because physically my self esteem is like... a 5. But my overall self esteem is a 7 or 8.

And I have about 20 pounds to lose, but I think I'm a 3, even though it FEELS like a 7 haha.

02-25-2009, 02:13 AM
1 in self esteem; 10 in weight

99% of the time, I hate everything about myself and I have about 100 lbs to lose.

02-25-2009, 06:34 AM
My self esteem has always been pretty low, mostly due to insecurities I think came about not only growing up as a chubby child and then fat adolescent, but also because of the loss I experienced. I had (and still have) some abandonment issues. The things that probably contributed the most was my biological father who split, wanting nothing to do with me, and my adopted father committing suicide due to the severe depression following his 2nd stroke. I was pretty self confident as a child, until midway through middle school, when the teasing started. I used to have many friends (people actually fought over whose 'best friend' I was), but as we got older I became a point of ridicule instead. People I thought were my bestest buds were talking smack about me behind my back to "fit in". Mama said I'd have days like this.. :cry:

Anyways, my self esteem can be as low as a 0, or soar as high as a 10.
It all depends on the moment. It's also a little pick-me-up when people hit on me (which was a very recent development).

As far as how overweight I would rate myself, we'll go with an 8. I have a little over 50lbs to lose.

02-25-2009, 09:52 PM
I took a class last year about women and the media. It helped me to value myself more, and to avoid the traps that the media and advertising agencies trick us into, making us feel 'less than' in order to keep us in a constant state of buying products while chasing the perfection they are peddling. At the end of the course, I was so angry!!! I canceled all my magazine subscriptions, stopped shopping wherever those stupid magazines were displayed by the checkout stand, and purposefully got TiVo so I could record my shows and fast-forward through the commercials. I'm even done watching a lot of TV that I used to watch.

I'm free from these ridiculous ideas, and I've stopped spending so much money! I'm almost completely out of debt!


02-25-2009, 11:17 PM
For weight I'd say 1 or 2, as for self esteem it's so hard for me to say. Mentally I realize with the way I treat myself and the way I let others treat me I'd have to say about a 3. But when I'm in control and I pull myself together an 8. I don't really think my weight had anything to do with self esteem, more something I hid behind.

02-26-2009, 12:42 PM
Id say i'm a 2 or 3 on weight, ive 10-20lbs to lose, self esteem is 8-10 depending on the time of the month :p

02-26-2009, 12:47 PM
I don't think weight issues are correlated with lack of self-esteem so much as anxiety & tension, and strategies for soothing oneself. (Unless one can have so much self-esteem that one is never anxious or stressed out.)