Ohhh, honey. There are hundreds of us here who can relate to how you're feeling and how emotional this process can be. Reading through that I just.. FELT exactly how you must've been feeling.
In terms of what you've eaten today and such... the way you're hammering through the unhealthier things... reese's peanutbutter cups, and the cereal and such... it really sounds like you're berating yourself like mad! All of us slip... and all of us fall. You can't beat yourself up over these slips, they'll happen! All of us need to learn to accept it, and not let it get us down. You really didn't
really destroy the day calories-wise from what I can tell, and you were still able to say no, despite it being a bit emotionally taxing. (My definition of "destroying the day," honestly and truly RUINING it, is eating a box of KD by myself, a good 850+ calories... for JUST one meal, on top of MORE garbage.
)
I think you're taking a really healthy approach in trying to teach yourself to say "no" when you know that you don't need the calories. I know it can feel isolating and frustrating when you look around at people-- especially people who don't have weight problems-- and see them indulging. It feels like an excuse, for me at least, to indulge as well, and heightens my feeling of deprivation.
Here's my two cents, take 'em or leave 'em! For me, realistic rationalizations have always worked out well in my favour. In your situation, while I would have gladly eaten three of those little cheesecakes
, I always have to remind myself when I feel that overwhelming sense of being
deprived of something I want... that this will NOT be the last time I get to indulge in something like this! If I say no today, I'll still be able to indulge in something like that later. So, why feel so deprived in the moment?
And instead of that sense of despair and deprivation, I always try to turn it into something more powerful. If you can turn your back and say, "No, thanks, I'm not hungry.
" with solid determination, you're exerting your strength and control, and you get to come back to 3FC and say, "Hey. I turned down CHEESECAKE today!
" and get a million pats on the back.
I've gotta say, once I stop indulging a ton in sweets, I stop craving them. So... I'd say, yes, it does get easier saying no. And ESPECIALLY once you start seeing really drastic results in your hips and stomach and thighs. Does it get easier then? GOD yes, because you're often too busy celebrating that old pair of jeans you've squeezed back into to fall prey to the yummy chocolate chip cookies!
Stick with us, honey! You can't throw in the towel yet, you've come too far!