Weight Loss Surgery - having a horrible time losing ANY weight before surgery and scared




SpookyXXL
02-19-2009, 06:16 PM
I am in the last month of my 6 month diet and I litterally have NOT lost weight at all. I have exercised, I have eaten LESS and I have eaten MORE. I have eaten healthy and I have only managed to go up and down the same 5 pounds. Last month I had lost 4 pounds and now I gained them back. I was in tears in my drs office when I reported my weight, I could not tell her my Bulimia is going full force lately from stress and that I know if I dont stop it I will not only end up wiht bleeding ulcers but they will KNOW when they do the scans of my GI tract before approving me.
So now I am not only fighting to lose weight, to exercise despite amaxing pain lately but also fighting just to keep my food down. It has gotten so bad that if I eat more than 6 or 8 oz at a time I feel like I HAVE to vomit, it is not just mental it is back to being a physical need along with the horrible burning in my stomach which just makes it worse.

I am terrified that if I dont lose anything Medicare will deny me and make me do another 6 months and at the rate my knees are deteriorarting I dont think I can make another 6 months. I can't even tell my mom and grandma how bad the bulimia is getting and how hard it is to fight it. Some of my friends know and now threaten to go to the bathroom with me after meals when we eat out somewhere. I also wonder if the bulimia is not part of my my legs feel so weak and sore.

Anyway I just needed to vent, thanks.


beerab
02-19-2009, 06:28 PM
I'm not sure what your diet consists of- but have you tried cutting back on carbs? Not cutting out- but cutting back? It's hard to judge what's the problem without knowing what your diet is like.

And do you do any weight training for exercise? I find cardio does very little for me but weight training seems to work better. And weight training isn't as high impact as running is on your knees :)

kodama
02-19-2009, 06:58 PM
I am so sorry that you are in so much pain both physically and mentally. From your post you seem to know yourself very well and that your Bulimia is at a problem point. How did you deal with it before? Do you have a counselor or specialist in that area? If not it might be a good idea to look for one. Bulimia is a difficult problem do deal with.

Do you have other outlets for stress besides food?

If your knees are hurting you have you tried exercising in water? This is very helpful for very overweight people or people with injuries.

Best of Luck!


primaballerina
02-19-2009, 07:08 PM
I'm sorry you're having such a hard time....No matter how much you have to lose, losing weight is the most frustrating thing ever. You are not alone!

Have you ever tried weight watchers? I recently started it. I've also gained and lost the same 20 lbs for the last 10 years or so. My body fights me every step of the way, and my loss has been slower than some other people's, but since starting weight watchers I actually have hope that I'll be able to do it this time. It's not always a quick process, but I've found that the "quick fixes" tend to reverse themselves pretty quickly. At first, I didn't want to spend the money to do WW, but after thinking about the fact that I easily spend that much and more on eating out every week, I decided that I was ready to spend that money on my health. Here in Canada, it's only about $16 a week, or less if you buy a package (I bought the 12 week package, and plan to buy another when I use up those weeks..) It's the best money I've ever spent.

The best thing is the support. My leader has been really great- when my weight loss was slowing, she helped me figure out what the problem was. Just going to the meetings really helps me stay focused on my goals, and helps me remember that I'm not alone.

Finally, as hard as it is, please talk to someone about your bulimia... It will not help you reach your goal- In fact, your body could be holding onto weight because it's not getting enough calories or nutrients...PLEASE talk to your mom and/or grandma asap. You deserve to be healthy and live a long, happy life!

Take care of yourself, and don't give up!

primaballerina
02-19-2009, 07:13 PM
I also wanted to second what Kodama said- Aquafit is great exercise and very easy on the joints.

I also just tried a new exercise- boxing/air punches. I didn't even move my lower body, and after doing it for a while, i was really tired. Maybe you could try something like that?

MariaMaria
02-19-2009, 07:33 PM
Hang in there.

Does your surgeon know that you're bulimic? Are you seeing someone to help you deal with the bulimia?

ladybugnessa
02-19-2009, 08:23 PM
I'm sorry you are having such a hard time.

have you had the psychological study yet? have you talked about your bulimia?

missangelaks
02-19-2009, 11:50 PM
Exercise, eat right and do your best not to stress...it will all work out in the end, honey.

As for the 6 month diet, I lost 6 lbs the first month which my reg. dr was very happy with, showed that I could follow his directions...one of the pre-recs for our insurance...then I proceeded to ride the yoyo...gained the 6 back and then lost 4 and gained 3 etc. Dr. Oakley didn't care at all that I didn't lose weight just that I didn't gain much and our insurance covered me.

Spooky, the Bulimia could be a major problem. You really should tell the surgeon. Throwing up is so different after surgery...please be honest about it all. It could mean the difference between making this surgery work and your health failing afterwards. Please...please....please tell your drs!


Angela

SpookyXXL
02-20-2009, 12:02 AM
I am so sorry that you are in so much pain both physically and mentally. From your post you seem to know yourself very well and that your Bulimia is at a problem point. How did you deal with it before? Do you have a counselor or specialist in that area? If not it might be a good idea to look for one. Bulimia is a difficult problem do deal with.

Do you have other outlets for stress besides food?

If your knees are hurting you have you tried exercising in water? This is very helpful for very overweight people or people with injuries.

Best of Luck!


I have been exrecising in water, but even that hurts them, I know I need to do more but it is just hard to motivate and i also have a lovely dose of Seasonal Affective Disorder so I sleep ALOT this time of year.
I have started painting again but it is hard to do when I am feeling this down, I did do two small ones about pain.
I wonder if the reason I am so depressed is my chemestry is screwed up from the bulimia which I got over the first time when I got a bleeding ulcer and could not throw up without doubleing over in pain for hours. I can't let it go that far, so I am just trying to eat small protions and fighting to not throw up.
I am seeing a counselor and it helps but missed it this week since my car was broken and needed nearly $2000 in repairs, money I had to borrow from my grandmother which is just another reason I am down.
I mangaged to get through today without a bulimic incident but I also feel horribly down, about money, my car, my ex and my health. I just need ot get over it.

luvtolose728
02-20-2009, 12:13 AM
According to your ticker, you've lost 19 pounds! thats amazing! Most people are just sitting around, wishing they could lose weight, yet aren't doing anything about it. You did something about it and lost.

Are you sure you aren't losing inches? Sometimes the scale doesn't budge, but you lose inches instead.

Have you tried maybe a diet delivery system? One that it's only the diet food around and less temptation to bite into something extra?

SpookyXXL
02-20-2009, 12:13 AM
Hang in there.

Does your surgeon know that you're bulimic? Are you seeing someone to help you deal with the bulimia?

No and if they find out they wont approve me. I had my bulimia pretty much under total control for over 22 years (I had it as a teen) and it has just gotten bad the last month. I do see my counselor and all and I am trying to stop just by not doing it, and resisting the urge. heck maybe trying not to give in by eating small meals will help me lose...LOL

Not only do i have to control it NOW but at the end of march they are doing a upper GI scope and I have got to get this fire I have been feeling in my gut (an ulcer I am afraid) under control.
If the only stress I was feeling was this it would not be so bad but I feel like I am drownding under it all. Being able to vent helps.

SpookyXXL
02-20-2009, 12:15 AM
I'm sorry you are having such a hard time.

have you had the psychological study yet? have you talked about your bulimia?

I have had my psych study done and at the time it was under control, if I can't get it under control in the next few weeks i will have to talk to my regular dr about ulcer meds and that will put my surgery on hold a while.
I am pretty hopeful I can get it controled cause I dont want to ruin my teeth and my health any more.

SpookyXXL
02-20-2009, 12:19 AM
According to your ticker, you've lost 19 pounds! thats amazing! Most people are just sitting around, wishing they could lose weight, yet aren't doing anything about it. You did something about it and lost.

Are you sure you aren't losing inches? Sometimes the scale doesn't budge, but you lose inches instead.

Have you tried maybe a diet delivery system? One that it's only the diet food around and less temptation to bite into something extra?

I lost that 19 pounds early last year doing basicly what I am now except for the getting sick, and then I hit a plateau and have not gotten under 440 no matter how hard I try.
I do intend to make darn sure it is not water weight next time I weigh at the hospital I really want to break 440 at least.

I need to messure I have my messurements at my grandmothers and on my computer somewhere, who knows maybe I am losing something.

SpookyXXL
02-20-2009, 12:31 AM
Exercise, eat right and do your best not to stress...it will all work out in the end, honey.

As for the 6 month diet, I lost 6 lbs the first month which my reg. dr was very happy with, showed that I could follow his directions...one of the pre-recs for our insurance...then I proceeded to ride the yoyo...gained the 6 back and then lost 4 and gained 3 etc. Dr. Oakley didn't care at all that I didn't lose weight just that I didn't gain much and our insurance covered me.

Spooky, the Bulimia could be a major problem. You really should tell the surgeon. Throwing up is so different after surgery...please be honest about it all. It could mean the difference between making this surgery work and your health failing afterwards. Please...please....please tell your drs!


Angela



If I can't get this under control in 3 weeks (time for my next dr appointment) I will talk to them about it then dr O. until then it has only been a month and only the last 10 days have been making me feel out of control. They know i use to be bulimic and I am hoping if I can control some of the other stress in my life it will help with this, as well as the fact that if I can control this it should help my mental state since it throws my body chemestry way off.

Here is the paintings (9x12in) I did about arthritis

http://www.msxxl.com/pain1and2-02-09.jpg

luvtolose728
02-20-2009, 01:25 AM
Yea.. definitely find those measurements. I know when I first did the whole lose weight thing back about 2 years ago, I weighed 320. there was a month I didn't lose anything in scale pounds, but I lost a lot of inches from all over.

Have you tried that arm cycle thing for exercise? I'm not exactly sure what it is called, but you sit down, and spin pedals using your arms.

More water you drink, the less water weight you have so keep on chuggin' that h20 down! Body goes into save every ounce of water mode if you don't drink enough, hence gaining the water weight.

Beautiful pictures by the way. Can't really tell, is it charcoal?

Chickadee
02-20-2009, 01:54 AM
Hi Spooky,

Love your paintings - that's exactly how my knee feels sometimes!

I really, really think you need to be honest with your docs about the bulimia, even if you've got it under control when you see them. Like Angela said, it could impact your health in a huge way after surgery.

Chickadee

SpookyXXL
02-20-2009, 02:01 AM
Yea.. definitely find those measurements. I know when I first did the whole lose weight thing back about 2 years ago, I weighed 320. there was a month I didn't lose anything in scale pounds, but I lost a lot of inches from all over.

Have you tried that arm cycle thing for exercise? I'm not exactly sure what it is called, but you sit down, and spin pedals using your arms.

More water you drink, the less water weight you have so keep on chuggin' that h20 down! Body goes into save every ounce of water mode if you don't drink enough, hence gaining the water weight.

Beautiful pictures by the way. Can't really tell, is it charcoal?

Colored pencil over acrylic paint

mandalinn82
02-20-2009, 02:06 AM
I have to agree with the other posters that say you need to be honest with your physicians about your bulimia. There are many reasons for this, including the high risk of post operative complications for those with bulimia and the fact that, for patients with a history of eating disorders (even those whose eating disorders are under control at the time of the surgery), the surgery can re-trigger the bulimia and cause further issues.

There are reasons that active eating disorders, like bulimia, are exclusionary conditions for Weight Loss Surgery. Fooling your doctors by lying about your symptoms and disorder isn't going to do you any good and can seriously endanger your health.

jillybean720
02-20-2009, 08:19 AM
There are reasons that active eating disorders, like bulimia, are exclusionary conditions for Weight Loss Surgery. Fooling your doctors by lying about your symptoms and disorder isn't going to do you any good and can seriously endanger your health.
I second, third, and fourth this! I know when you really want the surgery, you don't want anything to stand in the way. I also know what it's like to feel like you can control something yourself. But going through with the surgery when you have not fully resolved this issue (and by that, I don't mena you just stop doing it again temporarily, but that you really examine the root of the problem) can cause even more (and more serious) issues in the future. You need to take care of yourself :hug:

SpookyXXL
02-20-2009, 12:14 PM
I second, third, and fourth this! I know when you really want the surgery, you don't want anything to stand in the way. I also know what it's like to feel like you can control something yourself. But going through with the surgery when you have not fully resolved this issue (and by that, I don't mena you just stop doing it again temporarily, but that you really examine the root of the problem) can cause even more (and more serious) issues in the future. You need to take care of yourself :hug:


In this case I actually do know where it is coming from, in stead of the old "I am not good enough" feeling like I use to have. this time it is just the fear that I am not losing weight. Until last week I did not feel compulsive about it and as soon as I did I knew it was time to control it. the first time I realized I had said to myself "I can eat that cause I will just throw up." is when I stopped.

I have mentioned it to my dr, I had it controled for 22 years and if I can't keep it under control by will power I will tell him again.
the main thing is it is promoting me to eat small portions... last night I went to IHOP and had grilled talapia, broccolli and grilled potaotes without sauce. I made myself eat very slow and no desert. We went to Target and I thought of buying this thing of valentine fudge I was lusting after but passed it up for a small bar of cinnimon chocolate and only ate half.
If I can't keep this up I will be worried about a lot more than just tossing my cookies.

Like I said if the compulsion keeps up I will tell my surgeon again.

primaballerina
02-21-2009, 04:13 AM
Just wanted to say that your paintings are BEAUTIFUL- You're really talented!

And also- what Jilly said (above)- Please take care of yourself- you deserve to get better! Do whatever it takes.

jiffypop
02-21-2009, 05:31 PM
geeezzz spooky this sounds very serious. but darlin, i think you really need to tell your doc about the pain -doing this surgery on someone with an active ulcer is asking for trouble. BIG trouble. What will probably happen is that they'll focus on healing the ulcer and then schedule the surgery.

i'm begging you here - please get the ulcer checked. and consider telling the doc about the bulemia. but the priority is the possible ulcer.

worthylady
02-21-2009, 11:47 PM
Hey Spooky I am glad to know that you were able to use our little family as a place to express your concerns. At least you are talking about it here and telling your close friends. However, I do agree with the rest of the bunch. I am concerned about your health and how bulimia can effect you post op. Do you paint when you feeling down? It seems like great therapy for you. I usually write poetry when i am feeling perplexed. You do sound down, which sounds like its linked to your bulimia. Are you treating the depression?

BrighterPath
02-22-2009, 02:33 AM
I'm at the end of my nutrition appts for surgery and I completely understand how stressful it is. I was a wreck trying to get through mine just without gaining weight. I'm so glad you posted here because you know so well how important it is to talk to someone about this. Your artwork is so amazingly beautiful. You are truly gifted, take it from someone who can't draw stick figures. :) Please keep posting and let us know how you're doing.

Laura

SpookyXXL
02-23-2009, 07:53 PM
geeezzz spooky this sounds very serious. but darlin, i think you really need to tell your doc about the pain -doing this surgery on someone with an active ulcer is asking for trouble. BIG trouble. What will probably happen is that they'll focus on healing the ulcer and then schedule the surgery.

i'm begging you here - please get the ulcer checked. and consider telling the doc about the bulemia. but the priority is the possible ulcer.


I haven't thrown up in 4 days and my stomach is much better, I am also eating much smaller meals more often and while i still have a problem with stomach gas ( as opposeed to intestinal) it is getting better, when i finish the diet at the end of march they are going to schedual a complete scope of my GI tract. Hopefully by then the ulcer or start of one will be better.
If the pain does not go away completely before my next visit on the 13th of march I will tell my GP about it and ask for something to help, for now pepto helps and most of the time I have had stomach problems that is what they prescribe, a bismuth regiment.
Right now we are having storm after storm and I am dealing with knee pain so the last thing I want to do is throw up, i just wish I could face climbing the steps in the pool or the hot tub at my gym much less walking all the way to the back and into the pool. there is no point of complaining to my dr about it cause the fact is if I dont lose weight nothing they can do except pain releif is going to help and they are very leary of perscribing strong meds.

SpookyXXL
02-25-2009, 03:19 PM
Well I had a lovely trip to the emergency room because they thought I had a blood clot, my left knee was killing me and I had shooting pains down my leg and spasms in it and sometimes my entire body.

After many many tests it ends up I have Arthritis... shocking huh. It has progressed to teh point of being a compression fracture, my weight is litterally compressing the bones and he says it wont be too long before it starts chipping off peices. Until them pain meds, and praying for WLS and that it ends up good for me. I am taking one vicadin at night and trying to save the percoset for emergencies like when I think I need to go to the hospital, which wont happen til I have surgery or I am bleeding out of my ears which ever comes first. I was so embarrassed at one point I litterally though Please let there be something wrong so I dont look like an idiot again, no such luck...LOL no I am just an idiot. At least hopefully they can use the x-rays taken for the reveiw of wether they are going to allow my surgery or not.

I am still scared of the possible side effects of the surgery and how i will look but now it is likely this newest pain is NOT going away, it is here to stay and so I am on a cane now but it could soon be crutches which I hate or a wheelchair which I just can't deal with thinking about right now. I am scared I wont lose enough weight for them to accept the 6 month diet, I am scared they will say do another 6 months and I dont honestly think I have 6 months left in my knee at this point at this weight. I can barely exercise because every step even in the pool is **** and I am feeling so weak from the pain. One good thing is the Vicadin tends to make me not so hungry and I dont want to cook much. O cooked a chicken last night and have just slowly been picking at it. So maybe I will lose some weight after all.

KO
02-25-2009, 04:09 PM
Hey Spooky um to be a bit Pollyanna The knee/arthritis Might speed up yoru time as it's a co-morbidity.
http://www.chairaerobics.com/Chair_Aerobics_for_Everyone_-_Store.html
I ahve had a lot of luck with the chair boxing DVD
I have CP and now Bone spurs and other lovelyness
Probably osteo arthritis in my feet
This is a great workout if you want to try it out

newlyfatnewlywed
02-25-2009, 04:13 PM
I also have bulimia, and I have royally ****ed up my throat. The acid erosion burned holes in my esophagus, which then covered with scar tissue, so I have problems swallowing and making my food feel like it's going down. I explained this to my GI doctor by saying that I used to have terrible migraines that made me throw up constantly (which is true.) I just didn't tell him that I didn't mind.

Anyway, your doctors will know, and most of the time, depending on how well-versed with eating disorders they are, they will know when you last threw up and how often you are doing it. So be careful.

SpookyXXL
02-25-2009, 06:30 PM
I also have bulimia, and I have royally ****ed up my throat. The acid erosion burned holes in my esophagus, which then covered with scar tissue, so I have problems swallowing and making my food feel like it's going down. I explained this to my GI doctor by saying that I used to have terrible migraines that made me throw up constantly (which is true.) I just didn't tell him that I didn't mind.

Anyway, your doctors will know, and most of the time, depending on how well-versed with eating disorders they are, they will know when you last threw up and how often you are doing it. So be careful.


I haven't thrown up in 5 days and the longer I go the less I want to. I still get the sick feeling in my stomach but I am riding it out and taking pepto and it is getting better. If it is not all better by my last (hopefully) diet appointment on the 13th of march I will sk for them to check for ulcers, but I am hoping that it will take care of itself with better eating and bismuth treatment.

jiffypop
02-26-2009, 12:17 PM
holding onto hope for you spooky!!!!

nanj
02-27-2009, 01:40 PM
If you have had bulemia for any length of time, I suspect the doctors will know when they do the GI because it leaves scars and such. Better come clean my dear. Don't hide anything because it carries over into your thinking and your weightloss life will be effected. If you don't deal well with things and can't be honest, it just comes out some other way, well in my fat-headed opinion. As for the knees......I had a replacement at 55 and the other one is killing me; bone-against-bone is no fun. Old Arthritis is one of my worst nemesis. The arthritis will never, ever, never, go away, but losing weight sure has made it more manageable. I had a broken foot and walked around with it for months before it was discovered and was probably from arthritis and MO. Starting fresh and new before your surgery is the way to go. You and me have had years of deceiving ourselves and manipulating our lives around obesity and other important things in life, you have a chance now to start living life well and healthy without guilt and making things anymore complicated. I've probably been pretty tactless, but mean well, because you are a young person and have a heck of a lot of life left to live with a means to live it well, if you take the opportunity. What is the reason you haven't told your doctor about your bulemia? Think about it.

SpookyXXL
03-03-2009, 02:50 AM
I blew it big time FOOD WISE today, it was a freind's birthday so I took her to a cheap breakfast and a pricey dinner and then a guy wanted to meet at applebee's so I ate the dreaded boneless chicken wings (OMG I wont even tell you how bad the calorie count is) AND I had a desert shooter with him (300 cal) AND later split a brownie sundae with my freind BUT despite feeling like I would explode I DID NOT throw up, I found that after over a week of not doing it I really wasn't even very tempted, I mean yes the idea crossed my mind but I just joked about it to the friend and we went shopping.
I bought protein powder and some lotion and mananged to stay away from the bathrooms.
I think I have it back under control cause I caught it fast enough this time.

jiffypop
03-03-2009, 10:24 AM
congratulations!!!! and look at you just taking it step by step and focusing on the RIGHT NOW, rather than how you handled it in the past!!!!

i gotta tell you - one thing really struck me about your post. that whole celebration = food thing. it hasn't left me yet!!!! in fact, whenever i get together with friends, guess what the first topic is???!!!!?? where will we go - what will we eat and drink.

Can you tell that i'm still working on the concept that being together IS the celebration????? <sigh> one day at a time

anastasia
03-03-2009, 10:30 AM
i've only just come to your thread but i wanted to say you did great for not throwing up. the binge probably wasn't so great for you but you controlled the after effects and thats a HUGE step. WELL DONE> you do deserve a pat on the back.

as juffypop said, a lot of us do reward ourselves with food. it's almost a societal norm i guess. next time you have a birthday / celebration think about things you can do that don't revolve around food!

go to the zoo?
the movies?

here's lots of ways to celebrate without over-eating.

keep at it. you will get there.

paperSkin
03-03-2009, 11:35 AM
Congradulations on not throwing up.. I know it can be hard, especially after you eat something off plan, because you think it is a way to avoid the calories and potential damage it can cause weight wise. I would encourage you to continue reporting your success to this group on a daily basis. We are all cheering for you!

Lori Bell
03-03-2009, 02:49 PM
*warning* tough love alert:

I really hope you don't get your hopes up for this surgery. You can fool some people about your bulimia, but a good surgeon, (and hopefully you have a good one) will spot your bulimia immediately. At this time, you are not a good candidate for WLS, and no surgeon in their right mind would knowingly take the risk of preforming this type of surgery on a 1 week recovering bulimic....If you are honest with your doctor there is no way he'll take you on as his patient...what does that tell you?

I'm glad you are resisting the urge to vomit this week, because purging is obviously not an effective weight loss program. I really hope you use your resources to find an eating disorder treatment center instead of a surgeon.

activeadventurer
03-03-2009, 05:16 PM
I would agree whole heartedly with Lori Bell. I went to treatment 2 1/2 years ago and it is one of the best things I have ever done. Then when surgery comes you will be ready for it.

skatardrummer
03-14-2009, 02:24 AM
I'm sorry you're suffering so much. Did you know that stress can actually add to weight gain? Also, making yourself vomit is very hard on your esophagus, and if you're not getting proper nutrition, your body will start hoarding fat instead of burning it.

I recommend getting in a lot of protein. Protein forces the body to use fuels other than carbs...the fuels being burning fat. My dietician says 60-80 grams a day. Keep in mind though that the female body can only absorb 25-30g at a time. Try Whey protein. You're gonna have to drink it post-op anyway :D

SpookyXXL
03-14-2009, 06:59 AM
Things have gotten a lot better, I found out some things about my ex BF of 2 months that killed any remaining feelings I had for him adn I now feel very free and somehow that has killed most of my appitite, I have not thrown up since I first posted this thread and even the desire is gone, I hope it in remission for a long time again, (it was 16 years since the last bought of it)
My stress is still there but much more under control, still not working out as much as I should but I think I have lost some weight and I am getting out a lot more and spend a lot of time with friends who are very very supportive.
Thanks for all the support here as well.

SpookyXXL
03-31-2009, 12:18 PM
Sorry I have not been around much, I have been very very busy and I am trying not to obcess about teh WLS at this time, things are moving VERY slow an the more I worry the worse my stress goes up and the more likely I am to act out. I have not thrown up since the 19th of feb.
I had all my blood work done again, my cholesterol is still pretty decent but my triglycerides are through the roof and now they want to do a cardio stress test (with meds to speed up my heart since I can't tread mill) because of a blip on my EKG. Of course at my size it is difficult to get a good reading so my GP thinks it is my size but the Cardioligist still wants to see but has not arranged an appointment time for that so i am calling now.
I am just letting life take its course with a few nudges from me in the right direction.
Thanks to everyone who has been so much help to me and i promise to check in more.

jiffypop
04-01-2009, 07:59 PM
Spookiy - i was in a similar position with the stress test - it'll be fine. i found it a bit embarrassing, but it worked out fine.

keep up the 'let's not stress over this' attitude!!!!!