100 lb. Club - Telling yourself no?




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Gretchy
02-12-2009, 07:57 PM
How do you tell yourself no to bad foods that sound oh so good to you at the time? This seems to be where I'm faltering. I have absolutely no problem making myself workout - I'm sore and miserable, but I tell myself one hour and it'll be over - and I do it. No problem.

Water? Again, no problem. I've been downing it like crazy.

But avoiding bad foods? Not so much. I somehow managed to stay in my calorie range today - but I ate McDonalds. . . I have such a hard time saying no because if I say no I keep thinking about it until I cave. I find it's easier to make myself do something than to make myself not do something.

So how do you motivate yourself in situations where you keep seeing/thinking about the bad things to tell yourself no?

(P.S., allowing myself a small amount of it does not seem to work well. I have a bite of the bad thing and then it's all over! I MUST finish it!)


kaplods
02-12-2009, 08:06 PM
I'm still trying to learn this, and I still fail a lot, but I've managed to lose more than 60 lbs, so I must be doing something right. So basically, you don't have to succeed all of the time, you just have to continue to make progress.

I'm not saying my goal isn't to give some foods up for good, but I don't beat myself up to badly either when I fail to do something or fail to refrain from doing something. I succeed in both more often than I used to, as I expect to continue to suceed even more in the future.

rockinrobin
02-12-2009, 08:08 PM
Like has been said many, many times around here - it doesn't have much to do with motivation, it's COMMITMENT that is needed. When you make that commitment - to become a healthier person, you then go on to make the right choices, regardless of what you "feel" like. Motivaton comes and goes & isn't around when those bad choices are staring you in the face. But that commitment, MUCH more lasting.

Also keep in mind, that longterm weight loss simply can't occur until your desire to be fit, trim and healthy OUTWEIGHS the desire for the "bad" food. That desire needs to be really stong, IMO, in order for this to "work". It was certainly the case with me. I needed to want to be that fit, trim, healthy person badly enough.

I also can't have one bite. ESPECIALLY in the beginning. I needed to go cold turkey. It was much easier to say no altogether, then to just stop at one bite.

I would also make sure that you've got a good plan in place. With DELICIOUS healthy, low calorie foods. Eat often, every 2 1/2 hours or so. Keep yourself from getting hungry. Fill up on healthy, satisfying foods. Low fat proteins, veggies, whole grains and some fruits. This way you won't want to veer off track. If what you're eating is enjoyable, well then, you won't have as much of a desire for the bad stuff. It won't happen right away. But your tastes will change. You just must stick with your healthy eating plan for a bit until it does.

And again, really, don't rely on motivation. Make a commitment. You owe it yourself. You will never regret doing so. I promise you. :)


iminhere
02-12-2009, 08:15 PM
that has been one of the hardest things for me because I use food as a crutch. at this point I have substituted good foods for the ones that I usually crave. for example if I want something sweet I have SF jello with cool whip...if that not gonna cut it then I warm up some chocolate almond breeze ot soy slender and top with 2 tbsp of cool whip. thats my current fave.

today I made another fave. cauliflower bisque....I cook 1 1lb bag of frozen cauliflower in 32 oz of chicken broth with 3 stalks of chopped celery and 1/2 onion chopped season and cook for 20 min. then I puree it with the stick blender and add 1/2 cup of Hood Calorie Countdown milk . Voila! cream soup! it's delish but its really just a bowl of veggies.

I find that these substitutions really help me feel less deprived. so when I think of fatty calorie laden foods I can replace the thought with something better.

in the mean time, it is a good idea to log these cravings and when they occur and start to recognise some of your food triggers so that you can learn how better to deal with daily pressures. it helps to be able to differentiate between REAL hunger and emotional eating.

Trazey34
02-12-2009, 08:20 PM
ugh i know!!! people would offer advice like "eat just one bite of rich delicious cheesecake and really savour it" um yah ok. Or go to mcdonalds but get the happy meal with apple slices instead of fries. oh for sure, i'll do that. NOT. hahahha i'm a cold turkey person - i just had to make that choice to walk away from it. Some people love to snack at night, have to snack to succeed, but me? no way. Once i start snacking - even on healthy stuff - it leads to just a teeeeeny bit more...then a scoooch more and then boom! game over!

all i can say is as crappy as it feels to walk away from something tempting, it's weirdly empowering and it does get easier..hang in there!

iminhere
02-12-2009, 08:23 PM
ugh i know!!! people would offer advice like "eat just one bite of rich delicious cheesecake and really savour it" um yah ok. Or go to mcdonalds but get the happy meal with apple slices instead of fries. oh for sure, i'll do that. NOT. hahahha i'm a cold turkey person - i just had to make that choice to walk away from it. Some people love to snack at night, have to snack to succeed, but me? no way. Once i start snacking - even on healthy stuff - it leads to just a teeeeeny bit more...then a scoooch more and then boom! game over!

all i can say is as crappy as it feels to walk away from something tempting, it's weirdly empowering and it does get easier..hang in there!

HA!! one bite of cheesecake.....yea, right...THAT'L happen! ;)

thinpossible
02-12-2009, 08:32 PM
If you can't eat a small amount and you can't go cold turkey, maybe you could modify how often you eat junk. Could you limit your trips to McD's to once a week? Whatever you can do, if you're taking steps in the right direction it will make a difference. Also, it helps me if I look up the calories before I go. 1000 calories for nachos? No thanks.

Also you might think of it as reversing your work outs. You work so hard, and then undo it by eating junk. That would work for me because I hate working out ;)

iminhere
02-12-2009, 08:55 PM
Like has been said many, many times around here - it doesn't have much to do with motivation, it's COMMITMENT that is needed. When you make that commitment - to become a healthier person, you then go on to make the right choices, regardless of what you "feel" like. Motivaton comes and goes & isn't around when those bad choices are staring you in the face. But that commitment, MUCH more lasting.

Also keep in mind, that longterm weight loss simply can't occur until your desire to be fit, trim and healthy OUTWEIGHS the desire for the "bad" food. That desire needs to be really stong, IMO, in order for this to "work". It was certainly the case with me. I needed to want to be that fit, trim, healthy person badly enough.

I also can't have one bite. ESPECIALLY in the beginning. I needed to go cold turkey. It was much easier to say no altogether, then to just stop at one bite.

I would also make sure that you've got a good plan in place. With DELICIOUS healthy, low calorie foods. Eat often, every 2 1/2 hours or so. Keep yourself from getting hungry. Fill up on healthy, satisfying foods. Low fat proteins, veggies, whole grains and some fruits. This way you won't want to veer off track. If what you're eating is enjoyable, well then, you won't have as much of a desire for the bad stuff. It won't happen right away. But your tastes will change. You just must stick with your healthy eating plan for a bit until it does.

And again, really, don't rely on motivation. Make a commitment. You owe it yourself. You will never regret doing so. I promise you. :)

oh yea...and what she said....

but seriously....you have to sit down and really think about "commitment" vs. "motivation"

it is way to hard to be motivated to NOT EAT yummy food....you have to be able to remind yourself that this is NOT on your food plan.

NEVER be hungry....NEVER be too tired....and NEVER be both at the same time. it's much easier to stop yourself from making bad choices BEFORE you get there. why try and make a good choice in the McD's drive thru? JUST DON'T GO THERE.

always have healthy food with you...and water. (we don't need to DRINK our calories either) if you ARE going out to eat...decide what you are having b4 you go...don't look at the menu.

but above all...DECIDE what you want...to be fit and healthy? or to eat junk? then stick with that decision....nothing to think about after the decision ismade. you'll be surprised how freeing it is.

you get the idea...

kaplods
02-12-2009, 08:57 PM
I agree on commitment being important, but I don't believe that failures (big or small) necessarily reflect a lack of commitment. Changing habits is incredibly difficult, and some people struggle more than others even after they make the commitment. It isn't so much sometimes in how many times you fall, but in how many times (and how quickly) you pick yourself up.

For me, motivation and commitment are important, but it also boils down to strategy (which you call commitment if you want to), but finding ways to make willpower less important. Finding ways to take advantage of my laziness (if I don't keep certain trigger foods in the house, if I want them I have to go out of my way to get them, and usually deciding it's not worth the effort). Grocery shopping with a list and after a meal. Planning and having back up plans. Treating myself as both scientist and lab rat.

I personally cringe when I hear commitment as the bottom line, because for so many years I wanted weight loss much more than I do now, and was willing to suffer for it to a much larger degree, so I feel like my motivation and commitment are almost at a lifetime low, and yet I am still succeeding. More out of stubbornness than by effort - but also by learning and addressing three physiological factors in my weight gain. One being a hormonal one, and changing my birth control accordingly. Another being insulin resistance, treated with metformin. And the third (which may be a result of the second) that I do best on a lower carb diet, and carbs trigger a crazy increase in appetite, hunger, and cravings.

There is no one solution for everyone. Trial and error is all you're ultimately stuck with, but if you keep at it, eventually you learn about what works for you. Sometimes it means trying a lot of things, you might not think would work (I dismissed low carb diets for three decased, and it took me nearly as long to find a doctor comfortable with helping me address the birth control issue by stacking bc - much like Seasonique).

For me, I really believe the only secret to my success this time was a little bit of luck, and the decision not to ever give up, no matter how low my motivation or commitment are at any single moment.

iminhere
02-12-2009, 09:00 PM
For me, I really believe the only secret to my success this time was a little bit of luck, and the decision not to ever give up, no matter how low my motivation or commitment are at any single moment.

that sounds like commitment to me....;)

kodama
02-12-2009, 09:21 PM
You can plan ahead. If you eat out often then pick items before hand, It's often easier to be strong if you have made the decision ahead of time. Someone was making fun of ordering a Happy Meal but if you order the kid's meal you probably can have your fries and eat them too) : ) No need to substitute them with apple slices.

wendyland
02-12-2009, 09:35 PM
I think it's more about addiction. Sugary foods. Fast food. High carbs. Those types of foods are addictive. It's beyond commitment or telling yourself no. I've struggled with that. Now that I've gone sugar free, I crave it so much less. I'm working on going gluten free. It sounds boring, but it's actually great once you get used to it. No more cravings. Lots of energy. Lots of weight loss!

heather88
02-12-2009, 09:36 PM
I look at the goals I have and when I want to achieve them. I also try to go for the healthy alternatives to the bad food I'm craving rather than going all out and not being nearly as satisfied and kicking myself for it later.

kaplods
02-12-2009, 09:53 PM
that sounds like commitment to me....;)

I'm not saying that I am not commited, or that commitment isn't a factor, but in all of the 36 years I've spent on the dieting rollercoaster there were many times that I wanted to lose the weight far more than I do now, and was willing to do far more to lose the weight than I'm willing to do now, and I still failed.

In large part, luck played the most important role in my even being willing to try to lose the weight "this time," because of failures in the past. I was pretty much convinced that trying to lose weight only made me fatter, not thinner, so I had vowed never to diet again, and to in fact, never get on a scale in my own home again (I was tempted to even refuse to let doctors weigh me).

When I had to stop working because of health problems and we moved to WI where my husband found work, at my first doctor's appointment about 6 months after that I had lost 20 lbs without trying. I've never accidentally, or unintentionally lost weight in my life. I'd been on a CPAP machine for a couple months before the move and the pulmonologist prescribing it had predicted that I might lose some weight without even trying because of the increase in sleep quality. I didn't have much hope of that, but I suppose it helped (along with more time for mealplanning and not having a vending machine handy or having to work unexpected overtime and sometimes having to choose between the vending machine and not eating).

My new doctor recommended low carb for the insulin resistance, but I was so skeptical of low-carb diets it took another year, and another doctor recommending it (one who had lost nearly a hundred pounds herself, doing so) for me to give it a try. She also was the first doctor to give me a positive response when I suggested stacking my bc to prevent periods, since I had such difficulty controling my hunger during the placebo week (I'd been suggesting it to doctors for decades, but I was always talked out of it).

I really feel like I've been drug along, almost kicking and screaming this time - and I'm still losing. I sometimes get so angry that I didn't have this information in my 20's, when I really had the physical strength and stamina to run with it, instead of crawl. I'd probably still be working, and most of my health problems would have never developed; but then I remind myself that I would have never met my husband, and my life would be different in many other bad ways as well as good.

This journey isn't always simple, it's almost never easy, and there can be a lot of twists and turns. I had to unlearn a lot to make progress, and one of the things I had to unlearn was judging myself for failing. Accusing myself of not trying hard enough, or not being commited enough wasn't true and wasn't working.

Seeing commitment as part of the puzzle isn't wrong, but seeing it as the only piece of the puzzle, and especially judging yourself or others because of some perceived lack of it can do more harm than good to some folks.

iminhere
02-12-2009, 10:35 PM
Seeing commitment as part of the puzzle isn't wrong, but seeing it as the only piece of the puzzle, and especially judging yourself or others because of some perceived lack of it can do more harm than good to some folks.

I'm def. NOT thinking in terms of judgements...

I think of it more as something deeply personal.....a decision that comes from deep within , when something inside turns a corner and says "hey, I just don't want to do this anymore and I feel ready and able to do what it takes to bring myself to another place."

I feel like that is what is happening with me, and thats why I feel more able to stay with my decision to eat the way I need to to lose weight. it's being ready and able to commit to MYSELF. that can be hard for a lot of women, probably because we are taught to be nurturing others b4 ourselves.

it's how I quit smoking after 30 years. at soem point I said "I just can't live this way anymore" and I made the decision. it stopped being a thing where I would "see if I could go without cigs" for a day or 1/2 a day. I hadn't gone 1/2 a day without a cig in 30 years! why would I do it now? so I made a decision and was committed to abiding by it. I announced it and said this is how it will be. it still wasn't EASY.....I did everything I could to make it easy. patches, SF gum, SF lollipops, even an occasional herbal cig.....evrything I COULD do to make it easier EXCEPT SMOKE.

and I have that same feeling now....I made the decision.

there is no judgement...we make it when we are ready....because we can only be successful at this if we do it for OURSELVES, because it's what we really want. even then, it STILL won't be easy.

thats why I have a houseful of almond breeze and I make "creamy" soups with veggies....anything I can do to make it easier without eating food that makes me fat.

well...didn't I get uber-preachy...! :o

SORRY!! :^:

DCHound
02-12-2009, 11:10 PM
Everyone's different; that's part of the beauty of being human. As for me, I am a carbohydrate addict. I don't WANT to be one. I didn't ASK to be one. I didn't KNOW I was one for years and years. Having spent most of my life very overweight, and a small part of my life on Atkins, I finally, finally get it. For me, carbs are like booze to an alcoholic. Alcoholics who get clean and sober can never, ever take a drink. Verboten. I am the kind of carboholic who can never, ever have another bite of sugar, or crappy starch. Never, ever. I think I may be allergic to sugar. If I have a single bite, I literally cannot control myself. I gained over 100 lbs in six months when I went off Atkins in 2003.

So, my answer is, 'no' is the only answer that works for me when it comes to forbidden foods. The last 2 times I was on Atkins I fought it. I was mad. I thought it was unfair that I couldn't have carbs. Sometimes I cheated. This time it's different. After falling off the Atkins wagon so badly, I finally realized, this is a lifestyle not a diet. I really can't have sugar, or starch, ever again. And you know what? I've made my peace with it. I don't feel deprived. Food isn't a reward. If I were to "reward" myself with cake or whatever, it would really be a punishment because I would physically feel sick and emotionally be disappointed in myself.

The handful of times I've been tempted since I committed to this lifestyle in August, I told myself, "you already know what that tastes like; you've had it before, and it's not worth going off-plan and having this weightloss take longer than it needs to just for that "(snickers bar, honeybun, piece of mocha cake).

We're all different ~ this is how I tell myself no.

rockinrobin
02-12-2009, 11:39 PM
I think it's more about addiction. Sugary foods. Fast food. High carbs. Those types of foods are addictive. It's beyond commitment or telling yourself no. !

Sorry, I disagree. I agree that the food is addictive, but I don't believe it's beyond commitment or telling yourself no.

Addictions may not be curable, but they most definitely CAN BE managed and controlled. I believe one way to manage that addiction is to make a commitment to not eat it and yeah, telling yourself "no".

pferde01
02-13-2009, 12:05 AM
I've recently turned this corner where no stays no! I don't know how I got there really, I think it's been a journey and I have more and more tools in my success chest (this site being one of them!).

I definitely know the feeling of almost obsessing about that bad decision. Like I don't need that drive through, don't do it, don't pull in, you don't need that ... OK screw it I DO NEED IT!

I don't have any tricks unfortunately. A trick I thought would work (but didn't really) was putting inspiration quotes all over and telling myself "Do you want to feel good NOW or feel good all day about your choices?". I would still wander to the fridge, lol.

The biggest help for me personally has been learning to cook at home. Hungry Girl Newsletter and Recipe Zaar are great resources, Hungry Girl especially specializes in delicious substitutions for bad foods. Even though I have been on plan for about 30 days I still feel like I obsess over food and my weight, I just channel that into planning meals, planning my shopping list, cooking, and hanging out here on these forums!

wendyland
02-13-2009, 12:09 AM
Sorry, I disagree. I agree that the food is addictive, but I don't believe it's beyond commitment or telling yourself no.

Addictions may not be curable, but they most definitely CAN BE managed and controlled. I believe one way to manage that addiction is to make a commitment to not eat it and yeah, telling yourself "no".

I think it's possible, but I end up driving myself crazy. I initially and continue to tell myself no, but it's much harder when the cravings are there than when they aren't.

futuresurferchick
02-13-2009, 12:13 AM
I'm posting this without reading what's already been said so I'm probably repeating things. But people on 3fc before have wisely referred to willpower as a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it is. I find this to be so true when it comes to refusing myself food that I want that I know I shouldn't have. The more often I do it, the easier it is. So just get started and try it, and after a while it will become easier. Plus you will feel so victorious about it a little while later. It helps me to envision how pleased with myself I will be if I don't eat it. :)

kaplods
02-13-2009, 01:19 AM
I think there really are very different places people come from in trying to lose weight. And there's almost nothing that you can say applies to everyone, except by broadening the definition so far that it is virtually meaningless.

Commitment is one of those words that is often twisted until the breaking point - because some folks use quite a circular reasoning to determine whether a person has it or not - if you have it you're succeeding and if you don't have it you're not. Or if you're not losing, it's because you "aren't ready."

I was very ready to lose weight much of my life. I know how much effort I was willing and did put in and how much commitment I had, and it was a lot more than I have now. If I hadn't had so much respect for doctors and considered my doctors' opinions wise, I would have stacked my bc against doctors' advice or doctor shopped until I found a doctor willing to let me do things my way, I would have found the key to my weight loss two decades ago. The change for me was not of attitude at all. I am jaded, lazy and even hostile compared to the woman I was many years ago. I have almost no energy mentally or physically compared to that woman. I didn't need more commitment, I needed a better understanding of the physiology of my weight issues. I needed to know the hormonal and carb connetcion (the hormonal connection I recognized as I asked every single new doctor I ever encountered about the possibility of changing my bc - but I was advised strongly against it. I was too young to even suspect that I knew more than the doctors.

I also have to treat sugar and junky carbs as addictive substances. Telling myself "no" is only an option before I put the sugar or carby crap into my mouth. Once I eat the crap, the hunger and the cravings become so difficlt to control, that for all practical purposes they are. In some ways, sugar may be more difficult to turn down than heroine, because everyone, even your grandma, seems to be pushing it on you. It's advertised every 15 minutes on the television, it's hidden in foods you don't expect it to be, and it's so wrapped up in most ideas of celebration, that you're considered a "party pooper" if you refuse it.

I'm sure heroine addicts would have a harder time quitting (the only addiction that has nearly as horrible a failure rate as weight loss), if heroine were cheap and use was so culturally ingrained.

It definitely can go beyond commitment to quit (either heroine or sugar). It can mean literally, severing personal relationships with family and friends. It can mean having to change jobs and having to completely change how one lives their lives.

Yes, commitment is needed to start the progress, but a whole lot more is required also, and a lot can work against even the strongest of commitments. Alcoholics are often told, if you hang out in bars, you make the odds of successfully kicking the habit harder - not impossible but perhaps nearly so. If you hang around folks who drink, you decrease your odds of success.

So what can we tell the carb addict - how does one avoid the substance and people who "use," when it's everywhere. Maybe a halfway house wouldn't be such a terrible idea. I'd definitely move into a condo or apartment complex in which sugar wasn't allowed in the building and folks were searched before entering. Crazy!? Maybe, but I wouldn't be too surprised if we eventually see it.

I think the reasons for being obese can be very different and therefore the treatments also have to be. Finding the way to what works isn't always a matter of commitment, but one of not finding the very nature of your personal issues and how to treat them. If I hadn't found the physiological components, I don't have a single doubt that I would still be at my highest weight today. I also have no doubt that if I had found those factors (and doctors willing to prescribe the right bc) in my 20's or late teens, I would be much thinner. Perhaps not at my ideal weight, but certainly a couple hundred pounds lighter than my highest weight, and I would never have gotten to 300 lbs, let alone almost 400.

Rosinante
02-13-2009, 04:30 AM
When I read the first post about motivation versus commitment, it really rang bells for me, it made absolute sense.
Some of the other posts just make it clear how difficult a language English is!

To me, commitment is all the strategies that I and Kaplods and everyone else put into place to get us through days when motivation just ups and dies in the fridge. So commitment is not an emotional thing, it is not a motivational thing, it is a cold and calculating set of strategies, maybe continually developing strategies as our bodies try and trick us, that get as through the day.
For me, commitment is about setting up routines that become er routine. Like the 'I don't eat that kind of stuff' thread, I have to set up 'ways I behave around food' statements or behaviours. I also find logging food into a computer programme, I like DietPower, very helpful, especially if I do it Before I eat my way through the day.

rockinrobin
02-13-2009, 07:10 AM
I really believe nothing will happen unless you are totally and completely COMMITED to this. Sorry Kaplods, didn't mean to make you cringe. But it is what *I*, *ME* truly believes with all her heart.

But you see, part of that COMMITMENT is to do whatever it takes. To keep on finding ways to MAKE this work. To keep on looking and seeking and experimenting and tweaking andlearning what is best for yourself. And not giving up when you slide. Not stopping till you find YOUR correct method.

Ailidh, I agree with you totally and completely. Commitment is finding and implementing strategies. What I sometimes refer to as "setting yourself up for success". That's where the definite "no's" come in for some people, and the occasional treats come in for others, and the ridding the homes of this and that and ADDING in the good healthy stuff, and the calorie/points/or whatever tracking, the planning ahead and so on and so on.

And if you haven't made a commitment to lose the weight and get healthy, what in the world is to keep you from eating that ice cream, those nachos, those xyz? What? If you haven't made a commitment to lose the weight and get healthy, what's going to make you choose that grilled chicken breast over the fried chicken? If you haven't made a commitment to lose the weight and get healthy, what's to keep you from tracking your food intake? If you haven't made a commitment to lose the weight and get healthy, what's going to get you exercising when you'd rather be watching TV? If you haven't made a commitment to lose the weight and get healthy, what's going to get you back on track when you falter? If you haven't made a commitment to lose the weight and get healthy, what's going to get you to make the right choices to get you there, over and over again?

It's hard enough to lose the weight. I think that's a given. Without an ironclad commitment to do what it takes, I, I, I - I don't know... How can it possibly work? :dunno:

Pandora123a
02-13-2009, 08:11 AM
I'm in on the commitment thing. But also on the strategy. I've been committed before, but in an "all or nothing" way. I also think I committed to losing weight, not to changing my life. Commitment worked then too, I lost weight. But since I didn't change my life as soon as I got to a point where I felt okay and was less committed...I gained it all back.

Back to the original post though. I was at Canyon Ranch and had lunch with a psychologist. Her comment was that substitution is usually a better strategy than denial. If you are used to having dessert you need to have something, make it fruit instead of ice cream. Similarly, when you really are craving fast food find a satisfying substitute. Don't not eat at all, don't eat the bad stuff.

The difficult thing about weight loss is that we need to make choices over and over and over again. Three meals a day and a multitude of snacking opportunities between. The better those choices can be, the more likely we are to lose and maintain.

There are some things I can eat in limited quantities. I think though that I have been most successful when I have found strategies that make it possible for me to make better decisions. (Hey you may find a new thread about this in a moment.)

JayEll
02-13-2009, 08:33 AM
Hey! :wave:

You are not a zombie under the control of some evil master, although it may feel like it.

Thoughts and desires are just that. Just because you want something doesn't mean you have to have it. That's a kid's trick--be the adult now! Let that "kid within" kick and scream all she wants, but the answer has to stay no.

You aren't starving to death, right? You're eating enough on your plan to sustain your needs, right? (You are planning meals, right? :chin:) If so, there is no justification for going to McD's. You are the one who drives there, you order the food, and your hand lifts it to your mouth. So, stop playing the "I can't help myself" game... because that's what it is... :yes:

:drill: Step away from the takeout counter. :drill: ;)

Every time you say no, you are helping to break yourself away from these harmful food habits. Eventually, you will no longer feel those cravings. Really! You couldn't pay me to eat McD's now.

Jay

haleysmommy5402
02-13-2009, 09:22 AM
Knowing that i could be down at least 100 lbs by now that's my motivation .. i started WW January 1st 2008 and i could be down all that weight by now and probably more .. but because i gave into temptations I started out calorie counting a few weeks ago 10 lbs more then i started WW over a year ago .. so every time there is something i want to eat i just keep telling myself over and over again .. if you eat that you will not lose the weight you want .. and i dont want to be over weight any longer im sick of being miserable so i just choose not to eat it .. its hard there's no doubt about that but if i want to be skinny its what i have to do .. good luck i hope you find something that helps you stay away from the foods that are no good :)

Rock Chalk Chick
02-13-2009, 09:27 AM
I think people here have given some great advice/debate about what works for them - and I think that's the important part... figure out what works for you.

for the OP: You've figured out how to work out without excuses, drink your water, etc. But the same tactic isn't working for the junk food.

No biggie - try a different tactic. And another. Figure out what's going to work to keep you away. Some can do the "small portion" or "one bite" - you've already said that won't work for you.

Ok, then we'll move on - you need some methods to not eat junk.

As others have said, some of it's in structuring things - plan your meals, plan your snacks, plan what you'll do when you're tempted (alternatives, distractions, whatever).

Sometimes, it's a key phrase or mentality that does the trick. For me, "no, you can't/shouldn't have that" just triggered a rebellion (Who says? That's not fair! I don't care! Screw that! I'm doing it just because you say I can't!) I would sit and debate with myself (I swear, dieting leads to multiple personalities!), and, whether I "gave in" or not, I always felt badly at the end - either guilty because I'd eaten something I hadn't planned, or bummed/ticked because life wasn't fair.

What works for me is reason/logic, instead of blanket "no" statements. "Not right now" is a big one for me. Or "I've already had that, I know what it tastes like" reminds me that nothing's THAT special. Or even "why do I want that?" urges me to face up to the fact that I'm just feeling lazy or I think it will "fix" something or some other non-food thing. (Usually followed with "and will it do that?")

If you think that would be worth a try, pick a phrase or two to try out:
I want X...

not right now - I can have that next week/month/when I'm healthy (after all, we can have the occasional X, but not frequently)

I had that a while ago, I know what it is. (counters the idea that it's somehow going to be new and magical)

I've had that too often in the past - that's what got me here. (aka do what you always did, you'll get what you always got)

Why? and will it actually give me that?


At the end of the week, I find I've managed to avoid most of the pitfalls when I take a few minutes to really assess what I'm looking for and whether I'm going to get it from the poor choice I'm considering. Sometimes I'm already eating the item before I think things through - "is this really giving me what I want?" no... throw it out.

Good luck - everyone has a way that works for them (and it's great to share it, because that's how we find new methods). You just have to find what's going to work for you.

TJFitnessDiva
02-13-2009, 10:12 AM
I plan ahead....I have to or I'll wind up eating everything on the menu if I eat while out. ;) I do splurge on cheesecake or whatever once in a long while but then again I don't eat out very much at all either.

I was one of those people that had to quit eating junk cold turkey, cleaned all the junk out of my house and threw it out. I started out with a list of "core" foods with weight watchers & ate off that list for a few months. I continue eating off the list (whole grains, lean protien, veggies & fruit) & have added a few extras..restrictive? Yes. It did get me where I wanted to be as far as healthy eating habits go and I eventually started to introduce things I loved like the small individual skinny cow or ww ice cream. Is this the right thing for everyone? No.

So yeah I tell myself "no" all the time but it sounds more like "no, you don't want this but you can have that other stuff!" Then I just do it. I've committed to this WL and I'm going to see it happen.

Trazey34
02-13-2009, 10:18 AM
Hey! :wave:

You are not a zombie under the control of some evil master, although it may feel like it.

Thoughts and desires are just that. Just because you want something doesn't mean you have to have it. That's a kid's trick--be the adult now! Let that "kid within" kick and scream all she wants, but the answer has to stay no.

You aren't starving to death, right? You're eating enough on your plan to sustain your needs, right? (You are planning meals, right? :chin:) If so, there is no justification for going to McD's. You are the one who drives there, you order the food, and your hand lifts it to your mouth. So, stop playing the "I can't help myself" game... because that's what it is... :yes:

:drill: Step away from the takeout counter. :drill: ;)

Every time you say no, you are helping to break yourself away from these harmful food habits. Eventually, you will no longer feel those cravings. Really! You couldn't pay me to eat McD's now.

Jay


i loved this one! especially the park rangers! heheheh but you're so right -- demanding to eat what we want is a CHILD's tactic - stomping our feet til we get the extra piece of cake LOL it's time to be grown ups and commit to it, just like we commit to paying our bills on time each month, we commit to showering each day, we commit to getting up and going to work blah blah blah. I'm not sure, but i think commitment was something Rockinrobin touched on??? hahah ok that was funny! :)

Thighs Be Gone
02-13-2009, 10:40 AM
First of all, thank you ladies for everything posted here. I think this is a great thread. This topic is very worthy of discussion and I think their is some very good points here made by everyone.

I was just so tired of being fat. I was tired of feeling winded when I bent over or went up a flight of stairs. I was tired of buying clothes that just FIT--not ones that actually looked good on me. I was tired of being the fattest wife at the party, the fattest mom in the room and looking at fat when I looked in the mirror. I was bloated looking, pasty and unhealthy and got up each morning to an hour of sore joints because of the extra weight.

So, I made the DECISION last Spring that I was going to at least leave the OBESE category to become for comfortable moving and in my own skin. I pretty much went cold turkey on fast food and sweets. I also started going to sleep when my hubby did. Before, I would stay up and eat and play on the computer until 12 and 1 in the morning. I started exercising -20 pounds/3 months later--first just walking.

I look at this as more of a DECISION than a commitment. Although my commitment is definitely there. For me, every food I am eating is a decision. Will I make an omlette with cheese and ham or will I make an egg white veggie scramble? Will I eat another helping of dinner or am I satisfied with what I have already consumed? Whether or not I work out is a decision.

Just because I eat something bad or choose not to workout one day, doesn't mean I have faltered on my commitment. Only for that ONE DECISION, I made less than an optimal choice. In the end if my good decisions outweigh my less than optimal ones, I will still be heading in the right direction.

Thighs Be Gone
02-13-2009, 10:43 AM
Hey! :wave:

Every time you say no, you are helping to break yourself away from these harmful food habits. Eventually, you will no longer feel those cravings. Really! You couldn't pay me to eat McD's now.

Jay



GREAT NEWS! :carrot:This is so right. It gets easier. Really it does. Anyone thats been down this path a ways will tell you that. :carrot:

Trazey34
02-13-2009, 10:45 AM
Just because I eat something bad or choose not to workout one day, doesn't mean I have faltered on my commitment. Only for that ONE DECISION, I made less than an optimal choice. In the end if my good decisions outweigh my less than optimal ones, I will still be heading in the right direction.

that's awesome! i'm getting that tattooed on me!!!

corazonas
02-13-2009, 11:30 AM
it just takes time... sucks but it does. i used to eat a LOT of fast food. so i would start letting myself go less and less. then ordering no fries and a salad, or chicken sandwich and fries... i kept taking baby steps until it got to the point that i don't even really want to go there anymore- i make better food at home!

Windchime
02-13-2009, 11:37 AM
Good thread! Like Rock Chalk Chick, my tactic is usually to say, "Not today, maybe next time." If I really feel strongly that I need a treat, I buy myself a one-serving size like one York peppermint patty instead of a whole bag of chocolate covered peanuts. Substitution foods have been a lifesaver for me. I eat a Skinny Cow ice cream nearly every night instead of a huge bowl (or two!) of regular ice cream. Or I'll have a 100/cal bag of light popcorn instead of a huge bowl of homemade popcorn popped in oil with 2 Tbl butter--I used to have that 2 or 3 times a week!

I try not to take an all-or-nothing approach. I know that won't work for some people but it helps me to not feel deprived. I try to eat well all week, but on Friday's a coworker and I like to hit the taco stand so we'll do that today. I'll have 1 taco instead of my usual 2, and fill in with other healthy stuff. This way, I still get to enjoy lunch with my coworker which is important to me.

I love this place. I learn so much from you all.

ChocLabLover
02-13-2009, 11:43 AM
I have been reading through everything that has been posted and have been thinking about what to post.

Once thing that is very clear, at least to me, is that weight loss is such a personal journey, and there is no such thing as one size fits all (already mentioned I believe).

Whether you use the word commitment or motivation, in my mind (JMHO) it is just semantics anyway. I think what it really boils down to (and I know this has been said many many times) you need to find what works for you, which essentially boils down for me what are the trade offs that I can live with?

For me (and like others) it is a "NO" approach. I wrote it like that for a specific reason. That is me telling myself NO very loudly to the temptations that I get on a daily basis. For many years I have tried the other approach, that moderation is the key. It definately works for some. Me, not so much. I have come to realize that I am sort of an all or nothing kind of gal. :D I now realize that I simply can not have that kind of food in my house or where I am easily tempted. I have tried all the other strategies-drink more water, shop when you are full, eat before you go. It just does not work for ME. I have finally reconciled myself to the fact that I need to completely change my mindset if I was going to succeed once and for all.

Once I had that in my mind and faced and accepted it, I found losing the weight this time much easier, especially when I had a goal to work towards. I will never be able to eat like I used to, and let's face it, that is what got me to 268 lbs (and above) before. So you can call it commitment or motivation, lifestyle change, I am not sure. For me (as corny as this sounds ;)) it was a vision of a new life. How I really wanted to be.

I am starting to love myself again (wince, very corny). I am not avoiding mirrors, I am in love with my body, which is a first for me. I can get a much bigger rush now shopping for clothes and looking in the mirror and not avoiding the camera then I EVER did with food. Maybe I have replaced one addicition with another (possible) but this is an addiction I can live with.

Very thought provoking thread, indeed.

Gretchy
02-13-2009, 01:16 PM
Thankyou everyone! You've all provided me with a lot of great ideas to try and things to think about!

One things for sure: I am NOT letting my little trip to McDonalds yesterday stop me from doing this.

Nada
02-13-2009, 01:25 PM
Sometimes I feel like I must be one of the lucky ones--I'm not an all-or-nothing dieter. I actually don't feel like a dieter at all. I just made a series of small changes until I had almost totally revamped my eating habits. I don't do deprivation well and I don't do perfection well, so I've learned not to try to impose either on myself.

Tammy73
02-13-2009, 02:13 PM
What a fantastic thread. I have to say THANK YOU to all you ladies.
I was totally craving sugar (I'm a HUGE candy addict) and I was thinking about going over to the variety store next door to grab a couple of candies.
Anyway, I started reading the tread and thinking about everything that was being talked about and I got so involved in the thread (read it from beginning to end) that my candy craving has passed. YAY!
This site is so amazing, it never ceases to give me exactly what I need when I need it. Thanks again!

kaplods
02-13-2009, 02:28 PM
My problem with the word commitment and it's role in successful weight loss is not in saying that commitment is a requirement for weight loss, but saying that it is sufficient, in itself for weight loss, especially when it is used in the sense of saying the reason a person is not having success is because they lack commitment. I was on the dieting rollercoaster for 36 years, and and I didn't lack commitment during that time. I lacked the appropriate knowledge, and not for lack of trying, because I was, for most of those years (even in gradeschool) a student of weight loss theory. I read everything I could find, and over those years have read hundreds and hundreds (perhaps even thousands) of books and articles on the subject. I've been a virtual graduate student of health, nutrition, and weight loss for decades.

Part of the reason I think I went 'round and 'round with weight loss is that I bought into the stereotypical view of commitment. Trite phrases like "any diet will work if you work it," and so I kept trying the same ol' stragegies. I didn't think outside the box of traditional dieting methods because I thought all I lacked was the willpower or commitment or motivation or whatever. I kept thinking I just had to try HARDER, and all I ended up with was a bruised ego and a lower metabolism. I was Don Qixote, fighting windmills and the windmills always won.

I never thought (for many years) to go against doctors recommendations, or common wisdom or even state of the art weight loss theory. Everything I thought that I knew about low carb dieting was that it was bad and unhealthy. My own experience with it was horrible, because most low carb "diets" start with some sort of induction or beginning phase that limits carbs so drastically that a person with a tendency towards hypoglycemia and/or insulin resistance can feel extremely ill, which was my experience, proving to me that low carb diets were bad.

Finally finding my own successful path had more to do with luck than with any effort or smarts on my part. All the knowledge I'd accumulated so far, played it's part also. Even my years in "fat acceptance" gave me the confidence to step outside the box of conventional weight loss wisdom (and cultural "rules" such as a fat woman never gets on a bicycle or goes swimming because it's too shameful).

It took so many things to get me where I am today, that I don't want commitment getting any more than it's fair share of the credit that is due. Yes, it was a key player, but there were many other factors that also were just as important. And I think giving commitment or motivation (or any one factor, for that matter) too much credit, is that it can make some folks completely stumped as to why they are failing (or worse - why they think they are failing, when they may actually be making fine progress, but their expectations are such based on what they think they know about how weight loss is supposed to be done. How many times do we see people quit because they aren't losing quickly enough, not realizing that their progress is entirely normal - or at least normal for them). They may wrongly assume that they don't have the required commitment or motivation, when it might be that another key factor is missing.

It's like when I read people upset about the genetic research into fat giving folks an "excuse" for being fat. It hasn't at all done that for me, it gave me a little window of insight into why I may have had so much trouble from early childhood when no one else in my family (or anyone I knew) had the trouble with food and severe obesity that I did (I'm adopted, so there's no guarantee that I inherited "fat genes," but it certainly is in the realm of possibility).

I believe that the factors that affect weight loss are many, and their role for each individual very different. It truly is like a puzzle - or truly more like a mystery or a crazy quilt than a typical puzzle. Because most puzzles (if you think visually) have similar sized pieces, but in fact each piece in the weight loss puzzle may be a different importance for each individual. Every person's puzzle has a commitment piece, but how big that piece is for each person will vary. Trigger foods and avoiding them might be a puzzle piece that isn't even a part of some folks puzzles or may be of varying sizes from person to person.

Putting together your own puzzle requires picking the right pieces and learning their size and importance to solving the puzzle. I think that for too many years, I focused on the commitment and motivation pieces (because I was told over and over again that they were the most important and largest pieces). In fact, so much that I never saw or sought the other pieces. Those pieces accidentally fell into my lap, and I know I wouldn't have found the solution to my puzzle if they hadn't.

rockinrobin
02-13-2009, 03:07 PM
I look at this as more of a DECISION than a commitment

Oh yeah. For me, I absolutely made the decision to lose the weight.

Upon waking up from the apparent fog I had been iin for over 20 years I just realized (finally) that I didn't HAVE TO BE FAT, IF I DIDN'T WANT to be. And then I made the decision to lose the weight.

And when I "decided" that I was going to lose the weight, THAT"S when I made the commitment. To do and seek and search and find what works. And to not stop until I did. And I believe this is very important as well -I needed to MAKE it work. So like Jay said, I too realized (finally) that just because I wanted something didn't mean that I had to have it. That was BIG for me. BIG.

So for me it was the decision 1st and the commitment shortly thereafter.

H8cake
02-13-2009, 03:22 PM
I do believe that everyone is different. I'm one of those that has to stay away from certain things. I can't have a little, it just leads to more. When I first started losing I read Zelma's goal story and she said she would tell herself "It's not an option Zelma". So many times I would tell myself this, I don't want to stay on this treadmill for 30 minutes - It's not an option to get off! I want sweets!!!- It's not an option to eat that! It does get easier the more I flex that discipline muscle. I was sick yesterday morning and didn't get on the treadmill. Last night at 10:45 when I had finally finished everything I had to do for the day I got on the treadmill and stayed on for 45 minutes. It wasn't that hard to make myself do it since I do it 5 days a week and have for over a year.
I thought maybe it had been long enough that I could eat small amounts of sweets, but I was wrong. I have to get tough with myself again, no more cream cheese icing at work! It's much easier to have treats when they are in portions that are controlled, like in a restaurant or a skinny cow ice cream. If I start on the sweets at work there's no looking back. Some situations are harder to control than others so I have to set rules for myself.

iminhere
02-13-2009, 03:25 PM
something that caught my attention is when people decide to go off plan for some favorite food, they will say "I decided to splurge" , or "I decided to treat myself"

we seem to have no problem calling THAT a decision.....

well...I have DECIDED to SPLURGE on skinny clothes someday soon.....and I have DECIDED to TREAT MYSELF to a trim healthy body.

that's no judgement on anyone...it's just my plan for success and my commitment to that plan.

and it IS a commitment...I will tell you all, here and now, what my commitment is.

that every morning I when I wake up I will recommit to a successful weight loss day.

that every day I will eat according to plan and exercise.

that I will not find excuses to eat off plan.

that I will NOT beat myself up through this difficult journey...I will be my own best friend.

and that if I DO falter (and I won't) I will be kind but firm with myself and get immediately back on plan...not tomorrow, but immediately.

I will do everything I can to make this journey as easy and enjoyable as I can.

rodeogirl
02-13-2009, 10:26 PM
The thing that works best for me is to have zero foods on the "bad" foods list and just stick to my calories.

If I have a bad food list I spend way to much energy remembering what foods are on it and arguing with myself if something "counts"

Counting calories is way simpler for me and makes the decision a non-issue.

Buttercup
02-13-2009, 10:49 PM
Oh man, I can so totally relate. I LOVE this thread too because it has so much wonderful advice and food for thought. I "wanted" to lose weight forever and then would feel bad after I ate something bad. (usually in secret) My favorite thing to do was to pick up a colassol creme filled donut, a piece of cheesecake, or even chocolate cake while grocery shopping and then sit in the parking lot to eat it. I felt powerless and would have alot of remorse as I threw away the evidence. But...now I can walk right on by! What a power trip it gives me!!! I still crave it but I LOVE the feeling of being able to say "NO!!!!" Don't beat yourself up over a slip up. I have learned to start over and not do it again. Each day is a new and wonderful beginning!!!

Gretchy
02-14-2009, 12:28 AM
"It's not an option." I like that. I say that phrase so so many times a day at work. "I know you want to climb the shelf, but it's not an option." "I know you want to get up and play but you don't have that choice, it's nap time."

If I expect toddlers to understand 'that's not a choice right now' then why should I expect any less of myself, a full grown adult?

Thighs Be Gone
02-14-2009, 12:43 AM
So for me it was the decision 1st and the commitment shortly thereafter.


This is true for me as well--first the decision was made for me to change. My habits were formed through decison making and it has now become a commited lifestyle--an absolute way of life. It effects every moment of every day actually.

cfmama
02-14-2009, 02:37 PM
I use the "it's not an option" for day to day decisions. My PLAN is to stick to 1700 average calories a day. So when I DO make a choice to eat something that I really really want I HAVE to work it into my plan or I can't eat it! Plain and simple.

ex: I am going to the movies tonight. I AM having a small popcorn WITH butter to the tune of 600 calories. I AM working it into my calories for the day. If I couldn't... I wouldn't eat it! I've done this twice in my 4.5 months of weight loss. It HAS to be an occasional thing (rather than an everyday thing) or it WILL slow down your weight loss.