Weight Loss Support - self conscious about clothing sizes




x0me880x
02-11-2009, 12:58 AM
This is deffinitally not somthing I was expecting when I started my weight loss journey. But just months ago I was a size 24 jeans and a 4x shirt. 50lb later I am a size 18 and XXL (sometimes, depending on the shirt). So today I was at both Old Navy and Target and had the first realization that I was able to fit into "regular" sizes. Sizes that are not plus. This is somthing I have not been able to do since I was maybe 16. I found a few cute shirts and jeans, both of which actually looked good on me. However the entire time I was shopping, I felt extremely self conscious. Like everyone was looking at me thinking "what on earth is she doing over here, she cant fit into these clothes!". It totally ruined what was supposed to be a fun and exciting time. A time where I am supposed to feel confident in myself, being able to fit into new sizes. It was all just really awkward feeling.

Has anyone else gone through this? I have a feeling I am not the only one who feels this way, but it's not at all somthing I thought would happen.

I know I have a long way to go. But I would at least like to enjoy the change along the way.


shcirerf
02-11-2009, 01:07 AM
I've felt that way a few times.

These days, I just suck it up and strut my stuff!:carrot:

Sometimes ya gotta fake it till ya make it.

tarryn
02-11-2009, 01:19 AM
I know what you mean. Its like you are still in the same mind frame as you were when you were bigger. i still go into shops and feel the way you do, like everyone is looking at me and judging. i even pick up bigger sizes thinking theres no way i could fit a size 10 and i end up getting in the change room and it is much to big.

Ive noticed it has slowly been changing though, and you start to see yourself in a better light, and you realise that you ARE smaller now, even if in your head you see yourself in a negative way. it is very confusing!

But it will go away, and congratulations by they way!!


krock614
02-11-2009, 02:13 AM
i know as hard as it seems.... You shouldnt base your goals on what other people feel... On that note i have been in this position many times... I have always looked at myself and compared... but i have realized that only i can do it and it doesnt matter what anyone thinks or feels.we will always be our selves. what we do with ourselves is what makes the differance

FreeSpirit
02-11-2009, 03:02 AM
I still feel that way. I feel really uncomfortable shopping in stores with really cute clothes because I think everyone is staring at me and asking themselves, "What is SHE doing in here?"

Umberto
02-11-2009, 03:38 AM
i definitely relate, when im in trendy shops surrounded by 15 year old twiglets i feel very self consious. If i pass a rack of miniskirts i feel like everyone is thinking "her theighs would never fit into that skirt", which of course they're not. I see bigger girls in clothes shops and i dont think anything at all, im just preoccupied with my own stuff. I dont feel like that every time, just when i'm having a bad/fat day, eg my TOM. I dont have any advice except that you'll either get over it as you lose more weight or you will just get used to it :)

Jacquie668
02-11-2009, 08:45 AM
I'm going to have to brave the dressing rooms and try things on now. I'm at the point in my journey where the fit of clothing really matters. I range from a size 24-28, depending on what I'm trying to fit into. It is weird for me to try things on as I haven't done this. I sort of just ordered clothing online from fat stores and put them on my body. If they weren't small, then great. Now, I want things to fit and my old methods are not working. Often when I order clothing the fit is all wrong, too big usually.

So, where this should be a celebration sort of thing. I mean I can fit into stores like Lane Bryant and the Avenue now, it is really odd so I can empathize with how you are feeling.

What I'm doing is making small goals to overcome how I feel about myself because really that is what it is about.

sws19
02-11-2009, 10:28 AM
oh yeah i've actually developed a total hatred of shopping over the last 10 years. i tell people it's because i hate the retail experience (which is partially true), but the bigger reason is because i find it truly depressing that nothing fits, is available in my size, or something that looks cute on the mannequin looks horrendous on me.
i CAN'T WAIT to put this all behind me!

mayness
02-11-2009, 10:57 AM
However the entire time I was shopping, I felt extremely self conscious. Like everyone was looking at me thinking "what on earth is she doing over here, she cant fit into these clothes!".

Have YOU ever thought that about someone you saw shopping? No, of course not, you're busy shopping and thinking about yourself (I don't mean in a selfish way, just a focused way). And if the people are really small, they probably don't even know what the top end of "normal" sizes look like, or what sizes the store carries, so they don't know whether you'd fit or not.

The only people who might pay attention are the employees, but if they've got half a brain they'll just be happy that you're considering giving them your money. :)

JulieJ08
02-11-2009, 11:20 AM
I know what you mean. I felt weird at first shopping in the non-plus area. But I am here to tell you - the feeling passes ;)

nelie
02-11-2009, 11:26 AM
I buy most of my clothes online for just this reason. I feel like an interloper in the misses department. I basically feel like I'm on some secret mission when I go into the misses department where I need to run in, grab some clothes and run out before someone catches me and says "HEY YOU ARE FAT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"

Mickeypnd
02-11-2009, 01:42 PM
Im sorry that you feel that way, I've never really had a problem with that even tho im a size 14, XL.

All I can tell you is to not let people get to you, because I can almost guarantee you that they weren't judging you or looking at you the way you think they might have been. I think it was just your self conscious because there might have been thinner girls there.

I have to agree with shcirerf fake it till you make it.
:)

x0me880x
02-11-2009, 06:49 PM
Thats a really good point that I never thought about. Thank you. :D

Have YOU ever thought that about someone you saw shopping? No, of course not, you're busy shopping and thinking about yourself (I don't mean in a selfish way, just a focused way). And if the people are really small, they probably don't even know what the top end of "normal" sizes look like, or what sizes the store carries, so they don't know whether you'd fit or not.

The only people who might pay attention are the employees, but if they've got half a brain they'll just be happy that you're considering giving them your money. :)

lumifan4ever
02-11-2009, 08:06 PM
Yup, i feel like that too. Not in the misses department, cause i could always wear something from that misses. Whether is was a 16/18 or a size 4..but the juniors department. Now that is a whole other ball game. I go over there and i feel like a cow shopping. I know no one is watching me but i am so self conscious, i think someone is thinking i either am too big or too old to be in that department. I rationalize that my teenager is about my same size, so i'm really just shopping for her...if anyone is asking or watching. lol.

Sailorlal
02-11-2009, 08:49 PM
I used to feel this way- but when you explore the feelings of most thin people, they have NO IDEA how self conscious we are. They aren't thinking
the way we are- it just doesn't occur to them. They don't know how psychologically damaging it is to be fat.

H8cake
02-12-2009, 02:37 PM
However the entire time I was shopping, I felt extremely self conscious. Like everyone was looking at me thinking "what on earth is she doing over here, she cant fit into these clothes!".

I felt this way big time! I felt like everyone was staring at me and the sales people would be telling me where the large clothes section was. It took a few times to get over this. Once in a while I still feel awkward, but I'm loving the shopping now. Just keep with the weight loss and you will adjust. I feel like retail therapy is very real for me. It's helping me get over my issues to keep trying on and buying clothes in smaller sizes. One good thing about the economy being in the crapper is clothes are cheap now! It's a great time to have to replace your wardrobe.

tkm256
02-13-2009, 12:33 AM
I'm terrified sometimes of going into the fitting rooms unless I'm /absolutely certain/ at least one of my choices will fit because of the opinion of the smiley attendant who opens the doors. If I get something too small, my options would be to (a) ask the smiley attendant to please get a bigger size [mortifying], or (b) hand the garment to her as I walk out and pretend I didn't like it [in which case I don't get to get anything]. It's not much better with big misfits, because I'd have to tell her a specific still-too-big-in-my-head size to bring anyway.

Sofia
02-15-2009, 02:10 PM
Enjoying the results post hard work is indeed a wonderful experience. You feel better as you better your past records. Going for regular sizes is what many people dream about.You have done it in your own way. Keep going as you have a long way to move on.

ilovetoot
02-15-2009, 08:10 PM
I'm terrified sometimes of going into the fitting rooms unless I'm /absolutely certain/ at least one of my choices will fit because of the opinion of the smiley attendant who opens the doors. If I get something too small, my options would be to (a) ask the smiley attendant to please get a bigger size [mortifying], or (b) hand the garment to her as I walk out and pretend I didn't like it [in which case I don't get to get anything]. It's not much better with big misfits, because I'd have to tell her a specific still-too-big-in-my-head size to bring anyway.

I used to feel this way as well, but let me say after working at several retail jobs, in the fitting room and elsewhere, no one cares. I have to be there for a 6 hour shift no matter how many sizes you'd like me to get you or how many clothes I need to put back on the floor, it's just a job. That and there are so many requests and sizes and clothes that no one would take the time to scrutinize anything.

joyra
02-15-2009, 09:47 PM
In Korea the salespeople swarm you like mosquitos and I genuinely feel like they will shoe me out of the store if I try to shop. I've decided to not buy clothes until I reach my healthy BMI (about 25 more lbs) for that very reason. Also, I have this tendency to buy clothes on the small side with the intention of losing... for years that didn't work but lately I actually AM losing so it is logistical.

I used to think "THEY KNOW" when I would buy food for a binge... if I went through a drive-through and ordered double portions, I assumed THEY KNEW I was some big binging pig who was going to eat it all. But then once I stopped binging, I would go to the drive-through and not think twice if I ordered food for two.

Just shows how messed up we can be about our images.

freshmanweightorbust
02-15-2009, 09:55 PM
I used to feel this way- but when you explore the feelings of most thin people, they have NO IDEA how self conscious we are. They aren't thinking
the way we are- it just doesn't occur to them. They don't know how psychologically damaging it is to be fat.



Totally. My sister is trying to lose weight with me but has never been anywhere near as big as I am, nor has she been overweight as long as I have. We were talking about a weight loss myth that somebody had mentioned on here, and I listed a bunch of other BS weight-loss tips I had heard over the years. She was incredulous and said she had never heard of most of them, and it occurred to me: she hasn't had people giving her unsolicited weight-loss advice over the years, as I have. It was a strange epiphany for me: those who are overweight and those who are not have different interaction with people, at least, the kind of people who make a big deal about appearance.