100 lb. Club - 1/3 of the way and I still feel like a failure!




TempleBody
02-10-2009, 11:14 PM
I've lost about 43lbs and I still feel like a failure. :?:


Shouldn't I be feeling good right now? (I do physically!)


Of course all I see in the mirror is FAT! (because I'm still fat)



And I'm so scared to get rid of my "fat pants" :(


DCHound
02-10-2009, 11:26 PM
I almost halfway to my ultimate goal and I think I know exactly how you feel. I mean, I've lost like 95 lbs in six months. I ought to be doing the happy dance 24/7. But what I spend so much of my time focusing on is how huge I still feel. And I am not happy when I look in the mirror either. Happier, yes. Happy, not really.

I think last time I lost all this weight, I didn't really start feeling significantly better about myself until I could get into a 16. I am hoping for that this time.

I keep trying to PRETEND I'm happy . . . maybe it'll eventually kick in. Maybe you could try pretending too . . . ?

BarbPA
02-10-2009, 11:30 PM
I understand completely! Wish I had some magical words, but I don't. You need to get comfortable in your own skin. I think it takes a lot longer for our heads to catch up than our bodies.

You are doing great! Keep it up...we will surely feel good soon!;)


WormwoodDoll
02-10-2009, 11:41 PM
Sometimes I feel fatter then when I weighed 256lbs. It's our minds playing games on us.

janne50
02-10-2009, 11:44 PM
It is sad we let the numbers on the scale determine our happiness but I know what you mean.....please give yourselves credit for the weight and inches you have lost and that you are doing something about your situation to lose weight and become healthier!!!!!

thinpossible
02-10-2009, 11:52 PM
I've had this happen in the past, when I lost weight.

I sometimes wonder if it's because as I lose weight I start to pay so much more attention to how I look than when I was fat and avoided mirrors and cameras.

It seems like the more I examine my body the more critical I am. Milestones I would've been thrilled with are now not enough.

This time I'm going to really try to avoid all that, and just tell myself to shut up, cuz I look way better that I did.

Plus you're so much healthier! Think of all the disease you're preventing!

cfmama
02-11-2009, 12:23 AM
I can understand that. I think it takes our minds quite a bit longer to catch up with our bodies success! Hang in there... it's coming.

(hugs)

Pandora123a
02-11-2009, 01:27 AM
I'm down 50...and bipolar about my body. Somedays I feel great, like what I see in the mirror, relish my success and feel that I am on the way.

More times I look and think how fat I look, how my skin is starting to sag. I think I am more aware of the negatives because I am so focussed on my body, when I wasn't eating healthy and hadn't lost I think I avoided looking at myself.

I too am terrified of getting rid of my "fat" pants. (I'm down 4 sizes.) I have compiled a mountain of clothes that are too big. My husband asked when they are going away...I told him they will leave when I have reached a weight I am comfortable with and then have maintained that weight and size for a year. I've given away a lot of clothes over the years only to have to replace them.

Luvbean
02-11-2009, 11:09 AM
I just wanted to say that you ladies are just amazing. When I am starting a rough day or feel like I am ready to slip, I log in and come read posts and then I am back on track. It is a treat to read how well you have all done and to experience and see the changes in all of you first hand is nothing short of incredible. Our minds are hard on us, they play tricks and it makes us do things that we don't want to do. You must be strong, and keep plugging away. I can't wait until the day comes that I am just like all of you with your 40-50-60-70-80-90lbs losses! AMAZING. Hold your head high, you are all beauitful and your day is coming.

FB
02-11-2009, 11:16 AM
Oh geez, my mind still plays those tricks on me. It really does take awhile as everyone mentioned. And you are doing fabulous!

Give those fat pants away! You'll really feel great about it, it's a very empowering thing to do. You'll also help out someone who needs them. I've always donated my old clothes to a woman's shelter and it's very much appreciated.

kelly315
02-11-2009, 11:50 AM
I definately know how you feel....I feel so much fatter now (at almost 2/3 to goal) than I did when I was 1/3 to goal. I think it's because my mind was just messing with my perception when I was bigger, to protect me from the psychological effects of being so big. Now that I'm getting closer to normal, it's harder to trick myself.

Trazey34
02-11-2009, 11:57 AM
I'm always a "glass half full" kinda gal... no make that "the glass is half full and the glass is pretty and there's ice in it and the drink is sparkly and refreshing" LOL Whenever i start feeling sorry for myself, as in "wah wah i'm still fat and i've worked so hard" i give myself a stern "wow you spent 100 years shoving nothing but CRAP in your face and now you're going to whine about it AFTER you've dumped 75 POUNDS of it???" hhahahah i talk to myself a lot ;) After that I perk up and realize holy crap i've lost 75!!! god imagine lugging that around again! wearing those shapeless clothes! yuck! I think by reminding ourselves how bad it WAS, or how bad it could BE, it can alter our thinking - not to say it doesn't still suck to be fat after all this, but it puts it in perspective for me, and i know i'm doing something about it so i can be comfy in my skin & mind. And it ALL has to come from our OWN minds - no amount of pep talks, no amount of "gee you look great" from other people is going to change our MINDS, that's all us! good or bad, attitude is all our doing

autumns19
02-11-2009, 12:30 PM
I feel the same way right now, but I do feel a lot better, and I keep reminding myself that I need to be patient. I don't like what I see now, but in time, I know I will. I won't have a perfect body, and I will always have the stretch marks, but I will feel fantastic and knowing I will be around for my kids will feel great.

iminhere
02-11-2009, 02:59 PM
well, I think you guys are awesome....

keep up the good work, please.....because you're my inspiration!

kaplods
02-11-2009, 03:21 PM
For me, it helps to remember that the first few seconds of an irrational thought are out of my control, but where I take that thought is largely my choice. I have the ability to "talk myself out of" a funk, at least if I do it early (the longer I let the nasty thoughts fester and grow, the less able I a to "get over it").

Today is a perfect example, but on a different subject. Hubby is totally getting on my nerves today, I'm achey and irritable, and the more he tries to help, the more it is irritating me. He just went to run an errand, and I'm actually feeling a little sorry for him for having had to put up with me this morning. I could have and should have talked myself out of seeing everything that I'm feeling as his fault, just because he's handy.

I too sometimes get discouraged about being only 1/4 of the way to goal, and other days I'm amazed and so proud of myself that I've gotten this far. I do feel discouraged a lot less than ever, ever in my previous weight loss attempts. Most of the reason this time is better, is that I keep reminding myself that weight loss for me is not "all or nothing," as it has been for me in the past. To me, everything was "too fat" except for that magic number, "my ideal weight," and in essence nothing counted or mattered if I wasn't at goal. I decided this time that I would try to keep my thoughts away from my goal weight at all. In fact, I've decided that I haven't decided what my goal weight its. I could, at any time, decide that I've "had enough" of weight loss, and decide to stop and maintain. My goal weight could be 5 lbs, 50 lbs, 150 lbs or 200 lbs around the corner. The one thing I don't give myself permission to do is give up because I'm afraid I won't make it to my goal. But there's a goal more important to me than reaching 150 lbs, and that is NOT deciding that I should give up because I think or fear that I can't make it to 150. On my worst day, I don't have to think about getting to 150, I just have to think about not gaining any of what I've lost (or if my weight is fluctuating up a bit, getting back to my lowest weight, so far on this journey).

It takes treating me as if I weren't myself, to get me on the right track. When I talk to myself as though I'm my best friend, and tell myself what I would tell a friend in my position, I feel great and motivated. When I treat myself like I wouldn't treat my worst enemy - of course I feel like crap. Self-esteem isn't about thinking you're better than anyone else, it's about knowing you're not worth less than anyone else, and treating yourself accordingly.

H8cake
02-11-2009, 03:31 PM
I'm always a "glass half full" kinda gal... no make that "the glass is half full and the glass is pretty and there's ice in it and the drink is sparkly and refreshing" LOL Whenever i start feeling sorry for myself, as in "wah wah i'm still fat and i've worked so hard" i give myself a stern "wow you spent 100 years shoving nothing but CRAP in your face and now you're going to whine about it AFTER you've dumped 75 POUNDS of it???" hhahahah i talk to myself a lot ;) After that I perk up and realize holy crap i've lost 75!!! god imagine lugging that around again! wearing those shapeless clothes! yuck! I think by reminding ourselves how bad it WAS, or how bad it could BE, it can alter our thinking - not to say it doesn't still suck to be fat after all this, but it puts it in perspective for me, and i know i'm doing something about it so i can be comfy in my skin & mind. And it ALL has to come from our OWN minds - no amount of pep talks, no amount of "gee you look great" from other people is going to change our MINDS, that's all us! good or bad, attitude is all our doing

Trazey, I want to be you when I grow up! This is the kind of thinking I'm working on. I've always been so negative with myself and I think that's one of the main reasons I ate myself up to my high weight. Yesterday was one of those days where all I could see was saddlebags when I looked in the mirror. I had to stop myself from beating myself up in my head. I try to turn that kind of thinking around because it is so self defeating.

futuresurferchick
02-11-2009, 06:20 PM
This still happens to me now!! Although, it is more rare. I think we all struggle with it. Just keep going!! :)

Numina
02-11-2009, 06:57 PM
It takes treating me as if I weren't myself, to get me on the right track. When I talk to myself as though I'm my best friend, and tell myself what I would tell a friend in my position, I feel great and motivated. When I treat myself like I wouldn't treat my worst enemy - of course I feel like crap. Self-esteem isn't about thinking you're better than anyone else, it's about knowing you're not worth less than anyone else, and treating yourself accordingly.

Thank you for an excellent post!

TempleBody
02-12-2009, 09:58 PM
Such wise advice from all of you. Thanks so much. :)