Weight Loss Support - Staying Motivated




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Crystal
02-10-2009, 05:03 PM
I have been trying to lose weight since January 5. In a month and a week, I have lost 12.4 pounds. I currently weight 257.6 but started at 270.

I have been having trouble staying motivated. I want to lose weight and I know WHY I want to lose weight, but I also LOVE LOVE LOVE food.

How do you battle the two?

I have had four open heart surgeries and really need to lose the weight. I have around 100 pounds still to lose. I cannot exercise until April because of my heart. I have a cardiologist appoint in April and they want to make sure I am okay to exercise.


Buckeye
02-10-2009, 05:08 PM
It is a battle, a constant battle. But in the end I know that I am the only one that can make me healthy again. I know I will never be "skinny" and don't want to be. I want to be lean and healthy and around a long time for my kids. And that is what I try to remember when the internal battle between the carrot cake or the carrots starts...

mandalinn82
02-10-2009, 05:41 PM
See my signature.

I gave up on "motivation". What is it, anyway? Some ethereal drive that'll force me to make the right choices? Some magical power for good that will steer my desires toward the carrots and away from the cookies?

NOTHING got me to my goal but pure, old fashioned commitment. It doesn't matter if I want to skip a workout or have a donut binge...I've made a commitment to myself not to. That commitment is firm and unwavering (unlike my motivation, which comes and goes almost hourly).

Make that COMMITMENT to yourself, and let your motivation fall where it may. For me, it was the only way to get to success.


fiberlover
02-10-2009, 05:47 PM
Ahhh... one of my favorite topics! I discard the notion of motivation other than to get you started. Once the honeymoon of motivation is over, you must rely on *dedication* to keep going.
Become dedicated to yourself and your goals.

It's not as exciting as being motivated, but it lasts longer. :D

aneleh
02-10-2009, 05:50 PM
I totally agree! Motivation is as unreliable as willpower, mythical creatures! What works is PLANing what you are going to eat and when you are working out and then just DOing it. Obvious I know, but when I don't plan my day it goes out the window.
Another thing, I LOVE food too, healthy doesn't have to mean unappetizing.

Nada
02-10-2009, 05:59 PM
Ditto, ditto, ditto what mandalin, fiberlover and aneleh said. Motivation might get you started but it won't take you the whole way.

rockinrobin
02-10-2009, 05:59 PM
Echo. Echo. Echo.

Motivation can NOT be relied on. As you know. I mean, you've got oodles and oodles of reasons to lose weight. Your very life depends on it. But it's simply not enough. It's never around when you need it most - when there's cookies, cake or ice cream in the vicinity.

I'll jump on the "you must be COMMITED to losing the weight" bandwagon. It's much more lasting. You MUST make an ironclad commitment, that no matter what, you will do what is necessary to lose the weight. Which means making the right choices. Day in and day out. All through out the day in fact.

As far as loving food. Find healthy, low calorie DELCIOUS foods that you LOVE. They're out there. I know it. I've found them.

One other thing I'd like to point out. For me, weight loss couldn't occur until #1, my desire to be fit, trim and HEALTHY outweighed the desire for the food. The high calorie/high quantity food, that is. And #2 came - I made that ironclad commitment.

junebug41
02-10-2009, 06:12 PM
Well, add me to that list.

I've found that motivation is a buzzword to me. It's fleeting at best.

Commitment. Determination. Those are the words that get me to the gym.

Crystal
02-10-2009, 06:33 PM
Thanks everyone for commenting. I really think one of the things I am missing is support, I don't have a lot of support.

I understand the commitment vs motivation thing. I guess that's maybe why I feel this way. I need to forget about my motivation and remember my commitment. I DO have several reasons I need to do this. I guess it's just not only about commitment for me. I NEED and HAVE to do this too.

flatiron
02-10-2009, 06:40 PM
I have had four open heart surgeries and really need to lose the weight. I have around 100 pounds still to lose.

I'm kind of a hypochondriac! IF I had FOUR heart surgeries that would literally scare me to death!

If you need motivation I would think saving your life would be pretty good motivator.

I agree with everyone... motivation will get you going at first but it is the commitment of making a life change that will get you (and hopefully me) through.

I completely accept it that I am going to keep a careful watch on my weight and exercise all that I am able for the rest of my life.

I love going to my YMCA and watching all the really in shape people work out. I could be ashamed at the way I look but I CHOOSE to see it differently. I look at the really healthy people working out and it really motivates me because I want to be able to workout like that one day.

I go to the Y every morning around the same time and there are a lot of the same people. There is one Muslim woman who works out there every time I am there. She is of course covered from head to toe but she is in absolutely fantastic shape. She looks to be in her mid 50's and she works out on the same elliptical machine in front of me so I can't help but watch her.

She works on that machine at an AMAZING pace I mean FAST, FATS, FAST! AND... if that is not enough she does calisthenics on the machine WHILE she is running! She is the only one I ever saw do that.

THEN .. after she runs at that pace for 45 min. She stretches while ON the machine like bending backwards until (I SWEAR!) her head almost touches her knees! She swings her legs up and sets them on top of the machine and then does deep knee bends! I mean it is AMAZING! She could be an 18 year old gymnast!

Keep in mind this woman is mid 50's with gray hair, or what little you can see in the front under her head scarf!

I mean when you see someone THAT flexible that in shape at her age how could you NOT be motivated???

I think when you can see the amazing things people have done for me at least it motivates me.

When I look at the before/after pictures on here and read the people's stories I think to myself ... I CAN DO THAT!

Look all around motivation is all around us we just have to see it!

But I think what Amanda says is SO true to! It's COMMITMENT that will carry us through! :carrot:

teawithsunshine
02-10-2009, 06:44 PM
Hi Crystal--

I'm curious. Can you eat the foods you love in smaller portions (a.k.a. "french women don't get fat")? Or are there some trigger foods that just cause you to eat and eat and eat to the point you gain weight?

If you can eat your favorite foods in smaller portions, go for it!

If you have some trigger foods that you cannot control, then I'd get rid of them for the time being while trying to lose weight.

If you eat in smaller portions, you can have five or six smaller meals throughout the day, and that'd help with your eating habits/hunger issues.

Hope this helps!

~ tea

rockinrobin
02-10-2009, 06:55 PM
I really hate to jump down your throat, when clearly you're going through a difficult time. But I want to mention, that support is a WONDERFUL thing to have, but you shouldn't rely on that either.

I WAS fortunate to have a very loving, caring and supportive family. But there's only so much their support was able to do for me. This is up to you. You're the one that will have to do the planning ahead and making of good meals. You're the one who will have to resist temptation. You're the one who will have to make those good choices, over and over again. You're the one who will have to get out there and exercise, when you're given the go ahead. It's all up to you, you & YOU. I know that sounds tough, but I want you to realize it and accept it.

But the good thing about that is, there is no leaving that huge task to someone else. You don't need to rely on anyone but you. You are responsbile for your own well being, which is why weight loss is doable. Because it IS something that you and you alone controls.


Oh and we here at 3fc will be more then happy to be of support to you. :hug:

Crystal
02-10-2009, 08:09 PM
I understand that it is up to me. How do you think I have lost what I have? I cook separately from my mom and prepare my own food. I was talking about the loneliness of losing weight, maybe getting involved in a forum like this one, things like that. I know it's up to me.

And I do plan ahead...a week ahead. I track my calories using Calorie King and plan all meals and snacks before I eat.

midwife
02-10-2009, 08:18 PM
Congrats on your loss so far! Sounds like you have a good plan. I think Robin was just sharing that she understands it can be a solitary journey, like you are experiencing. And that is what is so great about 3FC. About 80,000 people who are also on that journey.

One of my mantras that I tell myself is: Discipline is more reliable than motivation. That helps me cling to the knowledge that I am in control of what goes into my mouth. Does it work 100% of the time? Nope! (if only!) But it does help to remind me that I am in charge of my journey. And it reminds me that, when I do eat off plan, I am making that decision. You may already know all of this, but it was a big :doh: moment for me when I realized that I really did control each bite that went into my mouth. :lol:

PS: Flatiron, that woman sounds amazing!

rockinrobin
02-10-2009, 08:54 PM
Crystal, I'm sorry if what I said came out wrong. Like Midwife said, I was trying to get across that, well for me, support and all, I found weight loss to be a VERY solo act.

You have implemented some great changes thus far. And I know it's not easy. But already you are seeing a payoff!!!

I'm glad you found 3FC. It is an extemely supportive place, full of very wise, knowledgable and helpful people. It's why I spend so much time here. No one at "home" can understand the struggles of weight loss/maintenance other then people who are going through it.

:carrot:Wishing you continued success!! :carrot:

Sofia
02-15-2009, 02:35 PM
Well, add me to that list.

I've found that motivation is a buzzword to me. It's fleeting at best.

Commitment. Determination. Those are the words that get me to the gym.
Not to forget about discipline. Motivation with discipline is the Key to success in every walk of life as well.

sprklemajik
02-15-2009, 06:42 PM
I love food too, but there are a lot of amazing lower calorie foods that are just as pleasing as well-- my favorite that feels like a cheat but isn't at all is when i cook onions, red peppers, and mushrooms with a light spray of pam in a frying pan and eat them over a salad.

deanna125
02-17-2009, 06:02 PM
Crystal,

I said some of this on another thread but, like Fiberlover, this is one of my favourite topics.

Commitment is the only thing that makes this journey doable for me. Before I was committed, I felt like I was walking a tightrope and every meal, every unplanned encounter with food, even the drive home from work past all the fast food outlets and bakeries, felt fraught with risk. Would I give in and eat something I shouldn't and then blow all my heard work? End up fat and unhappy? It all felt so dangerous and important.

Then last year I started eating less and planning my meals and lost about 45 pounds. After being at a healthy weight for about 6 months, over the holidays I gave up on all of my healthy commitments and went back to my old way of eating. At first it didn't show up on the scale and I became convinced I could still eat unlimited amounts whenever I wanted and still fit my new clothes. So I stopped weighing myself and started doing all the things I had stopped doing a year ago. Guess what? I gained back about 15 pounds over a couple of months.

It became really clear that I had to take this seriously and I thought about what I had done last year to make me successful. Commitment was the thing that kept me going for the six or eight months it took to lose the weight.

When I started looking at that issue and how to remake that commitment, I stumbled on the Beck diet book here on 3FC. It talks about exactly how I make those kinds of commitments in my life and it requires me to move decisions about food, especially spur of the moment decisions, out of the category of "I have unlimited choice" and into the category of "NO CHOICE". Now I know almost exactly what I will eat and when and nothing else even enters into my decision making process. If I'm unexpectedly hungry, I just tell myself that hunger isn't an emergency and even if it is uncomfortable it will be tolerable if I get involved in something else. If someone brings a treat to work, I don't even consider it as something that I would eat because I have thought through all things my mind has told me in the past about why I should eat unplanned treats and I have responses already in mind and practiced for those tempting thoughts. As a result, the thoughts are so much less tempting. I can usually dismiss them even before they fully form in my mind.

This is so freeing because I don't have to make decisions over and over all the time. For me those decisions are where I fall down. By saying "NO CHOICE' there is no decision to make and I just move onto something else.

Since reading the Beck book, I am so far (three weeks or so) really happy with the commitment I made. I make food for my family that doesn't really tempt me. I love the smell of fresh bread and cinnamon buns and fried foods but haven't felt any need to eat them. Not even licking the beaters after making frosting for the buns. I used to eat some of every loaf of bread I baked just because I LOVE it. But now I get my grains elsewhere in my diet and can make much smaller batches of bread!

I feel like I am evangelizing for the Beck book but it has made such a difference to me in this really important area of commitment that I feel I have to tell everyone in case they react the same. I've done it at work, too. I think I'm starting to annoy. Sorry, if that is the case here.

Good luck, Crystal, in keeping going. I have a close friend who was on the heart transplant list for 3 years and she had to lose about 100 pounds before they would put her on the list. After she lost most of it she went on the list and her health improved so much that she was taken off the list and doesn't need a transplant any more. I hope your health improves like hers did.