100 lb. Club - I am feeling weary.




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Beverlyjoy
02-05-2009, 04:41 PM
Yes, I did have a good week during the month of January...but, mostly it's crazy out of control eating. I don't know what to do or how to cope. I haven't felt this bad in a long time. I am even getting in my car during the day on the 'hunt' for the perfect food to eat. It's craziness.

I am looking at healthy eating as something I can't face because it's seems so hard. I had sanity for a long time and now it's gone. My stomach hurts from overeating - my pieces and parts (foot mostly) often hurt. I am weary.

I've gained back thirty pounds from last summer. While I haven't ever really left 3FC - I feel like I am not helping people much any more. How can I help people when I can't help myself.

I know it's a matter of doing it. I don't know how or where to begin again.

Thanks for listening.


Mom2QJandT
02-05-2009, 04:45 PM
:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

Look at your signature...

"You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it"

Hang in there, if losing weight were easy everyone would do it! We all have set-backs and frustrations and times when we just don't feel like we can do it. Take one day at a time or even one decision at a time if you have to!

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

jademarlene
02-05-2009, 04:51 PM
I don't really have any advice, you did well last year, keep that in mind. You know you can do it, you have to get back to that frame of mind of wanting to do it. Good luck.:hug:


FreeSpirit
02-05-2009, 04:52 PM
You know what I noticed? When I tried to limit my calories too much, my body would rebel and I would get crazy out of control hungry and eat everything in sight.

Take baby steps. You CAN do this. You CAN get your eating under control.

:hug:

nelie
02-05-2009, 04:54 PM
We all struggle, its normal but there comes a point when you have to try to figure out your issue and fix it.

This winter has been horrible for me. I think I'm back on track but its because I decided to switch things up and frankly 'just do it'.

I would say try to pinpoint your main issues and work on that. Eating too many calories? Try to just tweak it a bit. Not exercising? Try to do small amounts of exercise at least. Eating out a lot? Try cutting out some of it. Temptations at home? get rid of some of them.

iminhere
02-05-2009, 04:56 PM
well...this may sound crazy...but...

sometimes you have to "pretend" that it's all good...the eating healthy, the exercising...etc.

just make a list of what you "should" be doing...what to eat each day, what exercise to do each day .....an actual list.

then don't think about it too much...don't agonise about it....just power through it!

after a while...when the results start to come in, your resolve will start to renew itself.

and don't forget how much you've accomplished so far....you CAN do it! :hug:

Beverlyjoy
02-05-2009, 05:07 PM
Thanks everyone, your thoughts mean alot to me.

Thanks Nelie - for simply saying to find and face my issue:

I know what my issue is - starting next week, I will be using a wheelchair get back and forth from the car to my jobs. It has me totally freaked. I have a chronic foot problem. I don't want to stop everything in my life because I have a mobility problem. It's so humbling to ask for help now. I've spend my whole life taking care of people. Now I have to ask others for help. I am not used to it or comfortable with it. It helped to write this out.

There, I've said it.

I need to accept this as what I need to do for now.

FB
02-05-2009, 05:09 PM
Bev! ♥

Do you still do your chair aerobics regularly? You seemed to enjoy that, maybe starting with something you enjoy will lead to better energy in other aspects (food). Exercise always puts me in the right frame of mind.

Be here, we're here, you need us and we need you. It's okay to ask for help! Love and love and love.

cheryldumais
02-05-2009, 05:24 PM
I totally understand. I have lost more than once only to see it creep slowly back. I am on my way down again and your signature made me smile. How many times does the army take the hill only to find themselves battling for it again. I see how much weight you have lost and that alone is an inspiration. The thing that helps me sometimes is to find something new to eat. I have a nasty habit of eating the same thing over and over and then wondering why I get tired of my routine. Try something different. I also have started cooking ahead lower calorie meals that I like and freezing it for those days when I just don't feel like cooking and I think maybe just this time we should eat out (eating out always makes me gain weight). I am still slogging up the hill but at least I am climbing again instead of slidding back to my higher weight (somehow that doesn't draw a very accurate picture eh?). Anyway don't beat yourself up. You're still here and that alone is a step in the right direction.

Cheryl

nelie
02-05-2009, 05:39 PM
Beverly - have you ever looked at our dieting with obstacles forum?
http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=14

Our emotions/brain/mentality can mess with us deeply. It may be that you feel you are limited and feel you cant progress with weight loss. I would say that you shouldn't accept that. If you have mobility issues, have you ever thought about water aerobics/exercise? Chair aerobics is also a good suggestion. Yes your mobility may be limited but your ability to lose weight is still there.

We are here for you too :hug:

JayEll
02-05-2009, 05:42 PM
Bev, it sounds to me like you feel out of control about your body because of your foot problem and having to use the wheelchair. And oddly, I think that might translate into wanting to BE out of control with food--or rather, behaving as though you are. It's almost like, "I'll show you!!!"

You know that it's your hand that picks up the car keys and goes on that search.

You know that your voice orders the food at the drive-up. Aliens have not taken over your body. ;)

I assume no one is holding you down and forcing food between your teeth--except you.

Every minute of the day, you have a choice about what you will do. Catch yourself before you get in the car. Make the choice not to go on that drive. I guarantee it will not help your foot get well for you to gain weight. You know this yourself, you just have to let that information get through to whoever is in charge.

:coach: Could I please speak to the adult who is supposed to be in charge? What are you thinking? Take the car keys away from that kid! :lol:

Bev, suppose a friend of yours was in your position. What would you tell her to help her? What would you do for her?

Do that for yourself!

:hug:
Jay

Slashnl
02-05-2009, 06:19 PM
Oh Bev, I am sorry you are feeling this way. I very much understand the disappointment in regaining weight that you lost already (see ticker....). You have the added burden of the pain in your foot. I'm so sorry!

But, don't give up! You're an amazing person and you deserve to feel better and healthier! I'm pulling for you!!

GirlyGirlSebas
02-05-2009, 06:35 PM
Beverly, I understand. :hug:

Other than a week or two every once in a while, I've been out of control for over a year now. A friend shared something with me yesterday that she read in a weight loss and maintenance book. What she shared really hit home with me. Sometimes, we just have to decide to be an adult about things. We have to ignore our childish impulses and that desire for instant gratification.

This journey is tough! But, in the end, I do think it simply comes down to a choice that each of us face on a daily basis. We have to choose the behavior and, in doing so, we choose the outcome. If we choose to allow ourselves to heed the inner child and do what feels good in the moment, we suffer the outcome of an out-of-control life.

iminhere
02-05-2009, 06:42 PM
Beverly, I understand. :hug:

Other than a week or two every once in a while, I've been out of control for over a year now. A friend shared something with me yesterday that she read in a weight loss and maintenance book. What she shared really hit home with me. Sometimes, we just have to decide to be an adult about things. We have to ignore our childish impulses and that desire for instant gratification.

This journey is tough! But, in the end, I do think it simply comes down to a choice that each of us face on a daily basis. We have to choose the behavior and, in doing so, we choose the outcome. If we choose to allow ourselves to heed the inner child and do what feels good in the moment, we suffer the outcome of an out-of-control life.

I agree...sometimes we need to "parent" ourselves. a little bit of "self-tough love".

sometimes, easier said than done.

recidivist
02-05-2009, 06:49 PM
Hi Bev,
I understand how you are feeling, and I sure wish there was a magic pill, not for weight loss, but for our mental problems that put us in out-of-control binge mode. For one thing, I think we give up on our food control because we feel out of control in other areas, and feeling out of control feels like weakness, like we are hopeless lost causes. Like everything is too much effort and it's just not worth fighting any more. And of course, the more hopeless and like a failure we feel, the stronger the urge to binge, because that's the only thing in life giving us a sense of pleasure any more. So, you need to find a way to not feel so hopeless, to not feel like a failure, and to find pleasure in something other than food. You need to work on that, and you may need help (counseling) at times like this when you are out of control. You may need medication for depression. I'm not advocating medicine, as I think it's usually healthier to find other ways out of depression, like exercise or other factors you can control and acheive success and a sense of well being. But something needs to shake up your mental state now or you will keep cycling down and gaining more weight...and you know you don't want to make your journey harder than it is already.

So, if you can do it, talk to a professional...your family doc first if you don't have someone else. And then try to find some small goals you can achieve, even if not food related, to feel better about yourself.

You may need more pain meds to help with your foot. I live with chronic pain and without pain meds, I wouldn't be able to manage. It's very depressing to live with chronic pain and loss of mobility. Yesterday I went grocery shopping and could barely walk, and still refused to use the little drivable cart because I was too embarrassed. I too have foot problems and a bad knee, and it's getting to a point of seriously impacting my mobility.

What is your foot problem? I could go back through all your posts, but there are too many to read through, so I'm curious...maybe there is something that can make your life easier without a wheel chair. Wheel chairs are just so darned frustrating and limiting and awkward.

recidivist
02-05-2009, 07:25 PM
I do think it simply comes down to a choice that each of us face on a daily basis. We have to choose the behavior and, in doing so, we choose the outcome. If we choose to allow ourselves to heed the inner child and do what feels good in the moment, we suffer the outcome of an out-of-control life.

I think it's more complicated than this. It's not just a choice to binge or not binge. It is more like you are caught in a cycle of feeling sorry for yourself and the binging is a side effect...maybe a way of exposing your helplessness. You need to learn to rewrite your internal messaging, to stop feeling sorry for yourself. It's putting the right perspective on life..that life is full of struggle and hard work and pain, and it is that way for everyone, just in different ways and that it's OK to face struggle every day...it's normal. The more you wallow in self-pity, the worse you will feel about yourself, and the more you tell yourself you are a failure and you can't do it. And when you are telling yourself every day that you can't do it, you really can't do it.

It's changing that inner voice...it's the only way to get the control back. And that's why I think sometimes we need help. And sometimes our challenges are really tougher than most people have to deal with (and they don't really understand that) but there may be help out there if we just ask for it (like therapy, medication, pain pills...whatever we really need). It's just that once you feel like a failure, you stop searching for the help you need...you just give up and give in to it.

Life is all about choosing to face life in a positive way or a negative way. You can go through each day feeling like a victim, or you can decide you want to be the victor, even if you can't have everything you want. You can find joy in what you have. Sometimes we won't face up to our real life choices because we don't want to (that's often just emotional immaturity). For example, you may be living in a situation that is causing you a lot of turmoil or pain (a bad marriage or job) but you refuse to leave and make a better life for yourself. Instead you tell yourself there are a million reasons why you can't leave (your kids, your security, nobody else will want you) and just stay and feel sorry for yourself. A therapist can help you to see that these are choices you have control over and there are things you can do to take control of your life again. It's the same with pain management. There may be things you need to change in your life to make your pain management easier (moving to a place that requires less upkeep, giving up petsor livestock, changing jobs, accepting that you might need a wheelchair, spending money on home remodels to make things easier for you), and until you realize these choices are yours to make, and you can control your future to some degree, you will continue to wallow in your self-pity and feel like a hopeless failure. In my case, I'm living in a place that is physically difficult for me, and I have to keep reminding myself it's my choice to be here, and I don't get to feel sorry for myself because if I really wanted to change it I could (by making some difficult but mature changes so I can relocate). It's so much easier to just stay here and ***** and moan about how hard my life is. It's a constant internal dialogue going on that I have to watch...to tell myself no one else is responsible for my happiness. I am.

When you are in that place of being unable to make those choices, it's not because you are weak...it's probably because you are depressed and you need some help. Yes this country has raised us to think we are supposed to be the rugged individualist who can just pull ourselves up by the bootstrap, and it's an embarrassment to admit we need help for mental issues like depression, or medical help for physical issues (or even to ask friends and family for help). And it can be even worse if you are low income and without insurance.

I just want Bev to know she is not a failure because she doesn't seem able to pull herself out of this right now...she just needs some help. The desire is there, but the ability may not be without some outside help (or more time struggling alone till she really hits bottom and decides she has to change something). This is something I've experienced for many years now, and I'm still trying to learn how to manage these dark pits...how to avoid them, but most of all, how to pull myself out once I'm there. She needs to realize that the first choice she needs to make is to be willing to seek help so she's not feeling like she has to do this all alone.

iminhere
02-05-2009, 07:47 PM
oh my...I don't think anyone was implying that Bev was weak or a failure!! I never even THOUGHT anything like that....

and of course it's not EASY....or we wouln't need a forum like this.

I think the intention was to offer some "right here and now" methods to get back on track weightloss-wise.

of course if she needs help she should get ...ask for it. (that's what she was doing) but in the meantime, she needs to stop getting in the car and trolling for food, because that will just make it worse. I know that from my own experience...don't many of us?

sorry Bev (I don't know you) , I don't mean to preach like you're not here.

cfmama
02-05-2009, 08:38 PM
Oh Bev *hugs* I feel for you babe.

You know these behaviours are damaging. You KNOW that you need to get back on plan and have food sanity. You need to make NOT doing these things NOT AN OPTION!!! Not a way to deal with stress or pain or boredom. You KNOW this. I do think that a therapist could be a lot of help with this. What do you think?

Numina
02-05-2009, 08:49 PM
I know what my issue is - starting next week, I will be using a wheelchair get back and forth from the car to my jobs. It has me totally freaked. I have a chronic foot problem. I don't want to stop everything in my life because I have a mobility problem. It's so humbling to ask for help now. I've spend my whole life taking care of people. Now I have to ask others for help. I am not used to it or comfortable with it. It helped to write this out.

There, I've said it.

I need to accept this as what I need to do for now.

It's easy to understand why this would be a big deal to you --- it sure would be a big deal to me, too! But it's a temporary situation, right? Will it help with the pain situation, by keeping you off the bad foot some? Then that would be a big positive. And for the record, if you are using this chair at your jobs, you sure aren't stopping everything in your life --- you are obviously pushing on, even though it is pretty dang difficult right now.

So, is there some way to make this period easier? I am one of those "pull the bandage all off at once in a big YOOOWCH!" people, so I would want to address the issue immediately. I would probably call the places I would be needing help with the chair ahead of time, first to let them know about the situation and second, to try to arrange to have one consistent person to help me. This would help me feel more in control and I think it would be easier for me to do over the phone. If this situation was only for a specific amount of time, I would be marking off the days on a calendar for the same reason. Can you think of any other actions you could take that would make the transition easier or let you feel more in control?

As for the eating --- well, I have gone on McDonald missions for a lot less reason than what you are going through! I am not saying that you should toss your eating plan out the window, but it certainly is understandable. But it would be better in the long run if there was something else you could turn to instead of food for a lift, for something positive in your day. So what do you really, really like? A tape or CD in your car with some wild or silly music that you can sing along to? A massage at the end of the week? Maybe you love a long soak in the tub with fou-fou bubble bath and candles and the works? If you can think of something like that, maybe there is a way to substitute that healthier alternative for the bingeing. Maybe knowing that there IS a reward coming soon could help short-circuit your need for a reward NOW.

Whatever happens and whatever you do, please don't give up. Even if the eating goes completely to Helena for the next month --- IT'S NOT FOREVER! And it doesn't make you a bad person in any way to run into a problem that takes a while to solve --- it just makes you human. We all certainly understand! And we are here to listen to what is going on and to offer what ideas we can; we are here for you to lean on for a while if you need to. Don't worry --- next month it will be me or CFMama or Lottie or someone else that needs your help.

We are in this together, OK?

Gimme a hug, lady.

:hug:

Schmoodle
02-05-2009, 08:58 PM
:hug: BeverlyJoy, I am so sorry you are going through this. I think everybody who has quite a bit of weight to lose, or real food issues hits this point. I haven't lost anything since October and gained back almost 10 lbs in Nov and Dec. I just got tired of working so hard at it and felt like I needed a break. Like a spoiled brat I just wanted to do what I wanted to do for a while.

Don't leave 3fc and don't stop posting in the accountability with us. It doesn't matter if you are not doing well right now or if you don't feel like you're helping anyone. Sometimes we can help others and sometimes we need the help for ourselves. It's okay. You don't have to do it alone. If you can fight through this, it will be the most inspirational thing to lots of us around here. Here's how you start: Tomorrow morning make a plan and come and post it. Make it a day full of your favorite healthy foods. Then stick to it. Do NOT get in that car and go for food. We want better for you. We do not want you to treat our friend so badly. Okay?

Merksie
02-05-2009, 09:03 PM
I remember you from when I was posting earlier this year, Bev!

I'm sorry to hear you're going through such a rough patch. :hug: I've totally been there with getting off track and regaining and I know how much it sucks. Continuing to weigh in and continuing to post are the best things you can do to stop that train from getting too far away from the station so stay with us here!

Beverlyjoy
02-06-2009, 07:53 AM
I want to thank you all with all of my heart for your thoughts, ideas, love and understanding. It touches me greatly. Many many good and sensible ideas have been presented to me.

Yes, I do have an appointment next week with a therapist - hopefully, she can help me get through this.

I actually feel better having 'talked' about this.

(I have a chronic tendonitis in my posterior tibial tendon (foot/ankle). I've done therapy and many many things to improve the situation. I reinjured it last September. The surgery isn't always very successful. It has a six month recovery period. And, I am allergic to narcotic pain meds. I have seen many doctors. )

So, I will face today - one day at a time. Knowing that I have my DH who will use his personal time to help me get to my jobs. I have friends that will help me too.

I promise myself today - that I will not get in my car to 'medicate' my feelings with ice cream and junk food.

I have a recumbant bike, stability ball and exercises from PT. I was doing chair exercises - the DVD broke. I'll have to get it replaced.

Yes, I am mourning the gaining of my weight from 192 pounds - but, life is a journey and I will try to move forward. Thank goodness I only have to worry about today's food.

Thank you again, dear friends. Your deep thoughts and many ideas mean so very much to me.

TheWalrus
02-06-2009, 09:00 AM
What a great post! It sounds like you have tremendous strength of character. Congratulations for pulling yourself back from the brink and setting yourself firmly back on the path that you want to be on.

I only have two suggestions to add to the others -- first, my friend who has some extreme pain issues (as in, has to be carried from place to place by her husband some days) loves what she calls Bed Yoga. It looks like there's even a book (which I found on Amazon) of poses you can do while not standing (or lying on the floor).

Second, my husband and I have found some new things that soothe our cravings while feeding our bodies. We now make yogurt smoothies pretty regularly for dessert -- 1 cup nonfat yogurt, half a cup (I think) frozen cherries (I found other berries too seedy, but I think frozen bananas would work pretty well, too). Blend it up. The cherries add not only flavor but also an icy texture that's pretty close to a melting milkshake. He also makes them with half the amount of cherries for something that's like a cherry lassi. It's a great treat, and I think my body likes getting all that protein and calcium :) So that's maybe a replacement for milkshakes and ice cream; plus, because also it's very fast it involves measuring and equipment, it tends to distract us from other cravings.

Good luck on your journey!

djay
02-06-2009, 10:43 AM
:hug:Your post touched me so deeply. You were able to express exactly how I have felt at my weakest moments. I can feel your pain.

One day...One hour...even one minute at a time. You can do this!

I am sorry for the pain and mental struggle you are facing. You are doing the right things to get through it. Have confidence in what you are telling yourself.

You are in my thoughts. I look forward to hearing more about your progress.:hug:

Jen415
02-06-2009, 10:55 AM
Bev, just wanted to give you hugs.....and maybe a small reminder to always look for the JOY in every situation. There's good in everything--you just have to look!

recidivist
02-06-2009, 05:32 PM
Hi Bev,
I'm glad to hear that you are feeling better. Yes, talking it out does often help a great deal. That is partly why the therapy helps...they can sometimes help you uncover the feelings inside that need to be talked out. I wish I had some advice on the tendonitis, but that is something that I know little about...but was wondering if they'd suggested cortisone shots for the pain? I personally won't use cortisone any more but it does work for some people...it can also increase your appetite. That's hard about the pain pills. I am also sensitive to pain meds...too much makes me want to rip my skin off from itching, so I can only take a half a pill at a time, and only hydrocodone...switching to another brand makes me itch again. Morphine especially. Do you use Aleve or something else? Does it help to do hot or cold packs?

I hope you can get it healed up (even if it feels like it is taking forever) and that there is hope for full recovery with the therapy, and the wheelchair is just temporary.

Good for you on your new resolve to try to get your eating in check. I know you can do it once you get your mind wrapped around it. And it sounds like you are definitely on the right track. I know that eating certain foods would be dangerous for me (gravies, cream dishes, etc.) so I try to provide myself lots of healthy alternatives that are good for me and a gourmet treat, so I can still feel like I'm indulging, even while staying on plan.

I hope you can get that dvd player fixed.

I love the yogurt frozen fruit smoothy at night too. I bought a box of fresh peaches from a local fruit stand last summer and froze them (no sugar). I add frozen peaches to mine and blend it, or fresh pineapple. Pineapple banana might be a good one too. You can make a double and freeze half of it for the next day. Something else I just made that I consider a treat, but is actually healthy...I made french toast with some whole wheat bread that was starting to dry out. I used 1/2 cup milk, 1 egg, a little vanilla and splenda, for each three slices of bread. I have one slice for breakfast, and it's only 148 calories (using whole milk). They are easy to freeze and pop in a toaster or toaster oven. I don't put anything on mine...just like them plain. They make a great snack too. You can even add a little bran flakes to the milk and egg mixture if you want more fiber.

I'm wondering how much of your inclination to go for fast food is the idea of not having to stand in the kitchen to prepare food? I've thought about getting a tall stool for my kitchen so I can sit to work on food. It might encourage me to do more cooking. I might even modify my cupboard under my cutting board so my legs fit under it when sitting on the stool. I really do love to cook, it's just standing it the kitchen the kills me. So it's hard to be inspired to prepare healthy foods.

Hang in there...and I'm glad you came back here for the morale boost you needed.

SnowboundChick
02-06-2009, 06:00 PM
Nothing I can add except that it's always good to talk about what bothers and you are headed in the right direction. Lot's of ((((HUGS))))

Beverlyjoy
02-07-2009, 07:32 PM
Thanks again for your kind thoughts, everyone.

recidivist - they can't use cortizone in this tendon - it well cause it to deteriorate.

I did better today - I am so grateful.

GirlyGirlSebas
02-07-2009, 08:04 PM
I think it's more complicated than this.

Well, sure it is! Beverly knows that I would never trivialize what she is going through. However, it sometimes takes years before we can really find out what makes us behave the way we do....if we ever really do find the answers. Many of our successful maintainers here on 3FC will tell you that they still aren't 100% sure why they psychologically let themselves get fat. Do we wait until we figure everything out? Or, do we make that choice each day to do what needs to be done? Whether we like it or not, we all have to choose how we respond to life's struggles. For 44 years, I've chosen to let myself be swayed by what life throws my way. Look at me now. Yes, I am trying to dig deep and find my answers, but I can't afford to wait until I have it all figured out. Heck, part of this weight loss journey is learning through the struggles.

chick_in_the_hat
02-07-2009, 08:08 PM
Cheering for ya Bev!! :cheer:

You do realize how much one person with an amazing attitude does to inspire others, right? For that I would like to say thank you.

And a :hug:

recidivist
02-07-2009, 09:58 PM
Well, sure it is! Beverly knows that I would never trivialize what she is going through. However, it sometimes takes years before we can really find out what makes us behave the way we do....if we ever really do find the answers. Many of our successful maintainers here on 3FC will tell you that they still aren't 100% sure why they psychologically let themselves get fat. Do we wait until we figure everything out? Or, do we make that choice each day to do what needs to be done? Whether we like it or not, we all have to choose how we respond to life's struggles. For 44 years, I've chosen to let myself be swayed by what life throws my way. Look at me now. Yes, I am trying to dig deep and find my answers, but I can't afford to wait until I have it all figured out. Heck, part of this weight loss journey is learning through the struggles.

Girlygirl, my whole point is that you are making weight loss a simple matter of impulse control or self-control. If you have it you are successful, if you don't, you can't lose weight.

I don't think it's a matter of self-control. It's more involved than that. And I speak from my own personal experience. There are times, like now, when I have superb self-control over what I eat, and there are times when I'm in binge mode when I have no control at all. It doesn't mean that I am two different people, or that I really have no self-control at one time and lots of control at other times...it means I don't know how to get my head in the right place to take that control. That is where I think sometimes people need help, like support groups or therapy, or maybe even medication.

I wish I knew what triggered those binge episodes and how to pull out of them, but I really don't. And I know how defeating and self-destructive they are. And I don't think all over-eating falls in the same category as binging. I think binging is a mental health issue, an eating disorder, which is not the same as just not paying attention to what you are eating.

Buttercup
02-07-2009, 10:08 PM
[/COLOR]Bev, it sounds to me like you feel out of control about your body because of your foot problem and having to use the wheelchair. And oddly, I think that might translate into wanting to BE out of control with food--or rather, behaving as though you are. It's almost like, "I'll show you!!!"

You know that it's your hand that picks up the car keys and goes on that search.

You know that your voice orders the food at the drive-up. Aliens have not taken over your body. ;)

I assume no one is holding you down and forcing food between your teeth--except you.

Every minute of the day, you have a choice about what you will do. Catch yourself before you get in the car. Make the choice not to go on that drive. I guarantee it will not help your foot get well for you to gain weight. You know this yourself, you just have to let that information get through to whoever is in charge.

:coach: Could I please speak to the adult who is supposed to be in charge? What are you thinking? Take the car keys away from that kid! :lol:

Bev, suppose a friend of yours was in your position. What would you tell her to help her? What would you do for her?

Do that for yourself!

:hug:
Jay

Wow Jay, I LOVE your comments! Not only for Bev but they speak to me too!!!

Bev, you can do it! All of us know how you feel and are here for you.

thinpossible
02-07-2009, 11:31 PM
I'm glad you seem to be doing better, and I'm sorry about your foot. It would be a really difficult adjustment. :hug:

I'm so sorry that you are ina self destructive cycle. It's so hard to get out of, because the thing that gives us temporary relief from our pain is also the thing that causes so many other problems, and causes us to feel despair, which causes us to eat more, etc. etc. :hug:

The only thing that has helped me to break the cycle is to make tiny goals, and keep them. Did you only eat at McDonald's once today instead of 4 times? Awesome! Or whatever your problem areas are. Once you get some success under your belt you can start the cycle upward, instead of downward. You KNOW how to do this. It's only a matter of your commitment. We want you to be committed to a healthy you. You deserve it. We want you to feel good, and put nutritious food in your body! So try to want it for yourself. Then make a small step toward achieving it.

:hug::hug::hug:

valpal23
02-08-2009, 11:52 AM
:hug: Beverlyjoy I am sorry things with your body are not ideal but I know you can be successful despite all that - you've done it before :hug:

Lyn2007
02-08-2009, 12:21 PM
I don't really have answers except I agree with fake it til you make it, and just do it. I have been struggling, and I posted yesterday on my blog about it and got so many fantastic comments so if you think it would help, you could go and read the comments. There are a lot of successful people out there who are more than willing to share their knowledge with those of us who struggle (much like they have on this thread). Sending hugs tho... you've always been such a nice person on here and I hate to see you sad.

LisaF
02-10-2009, 11:50 AM
Bev, I'm so sorry to hear that your struggling with this. I know what you mean about feeling weary - it makes it so hard to get up the energy to care. But you are such an incredibly caring person, and I hope you can turn some of that toward yourself.


I promise myself today - that I will not get in my car to 'medicate' my feelings with ice cream and junk food.


Okay, this is not necessarily the healthiest suggestion, but is there something else you can 'medicate' with? (No, I don't mean drinking or drugs!) When I can't deal with the world, I try to lose myself in fiction. In my head, I get to live in a world that's either the kind of life I'd love to have, or one where the characters are so much worse off than I am that I can't help but feel better about my own life. Like I said, it's not always the healthiest - it ends up meaning that I live in this world less than I probably should. But it's healthier than the alternatives.

I know that reading doesn't work for everyone, but maybe there's something else you can pour your whole attention into for a while and forget about reality. It may not actually make you feel better (but then, neither does food, right?), but at least it might take the focus away from eating for a while.

Lisa

Pandora123a
02-11-2009, 01:33 AM
Beverlyjoy,

You've gotten much wise advice. I just send good and healing thoughts. Your foot may be injured but you are so much more than a foot. I am hoping that things will be better.

Much in our lives are pass alongs. You have always been a caretaker, now it is time to give others a chance to give you the same gift. Think how good you have felt to help others, give them the chance to feel good as well. Allow yourself to feel their love and caring.