100 lb. Club - Lost my job! Big time binge yesterday...




Michelle98272
02-05-2009, 12:19 PM
Okay. I got fired. It happened. Tuesday afternoon right before closing, my boss asked to speak with me and then walked me into his bosses' office. The director of the company and my boss, listed my professional faults and let me know my level of performance was "unacceptable". I was told to clean out my desk, turn in my phone and turn in my keys. My boss walked me to my desk and watched me pack my sh**. He checked my bag when I left to make sure I didn't take any proprietary stuff and then walked me to the door. OUCH! I was stunned but not surprised as I had been expecting this. I have ADHD and struggle with organization and am not detail oriented. My job is apparently all about the details and not at all about the great things I bring to the table. (Enough of the whining!)

Tuesday night, I drank a lot and smoked a lot and "treated" myself to Red Robin, BIG BIG burger and bottomless fries. The chemical additions to my mood, definitley didn't help my resolve. I ate the entire burger and ate 2 basket of fries. I woke up yesterday morning and began again (not the drinking or smoking part) but began my day with a trip to the grocery store. I bought all OP stuff but when I got home I ateand ate and ate WAAAY too much. Then my friend called and offered to take me out to dinner to "celebrate" not having to work at that place anymore. She was buying (yay, free food!!) and told me to order anything soooo....I ate an entire order of The Sampler at Denny's. Onion rings, fries, chicken fingers, fried mozzarella, with all kinds of dipping sauces. I ate the entire plate which is probably meant to be an appetizer SHARED by several people.

I woke up this morning and headed for the fridge... I stopped myself and came here. :( HELP!!


LesliesMom
02-05-2009, 12:22 PM
I am so sorry to hear you lost your job. Everything happens for a reason and just take a step back and realize all you've done for yourself and remember your goals.

Keep your chin up, today is a new day. Back on plan!!

Angie

luvja
02-05-2009, 12:28 PM
When one door closes, another one opens. :hug: I'm sorry. Atleast you realised what you were doing and stopped yourself. Start fresh.


LittleMoonRabbit
02-05-2009, 12:30 PM
Well... I just quit my job the other day, so I am out of work too. But, honestly, I am happy to be free. If you weren't appreciated there, then it's not the right place for you. Think of it as a break up... yeah, it hurts when you go through it... but if it isn't the right guy for you... you'd rather break up than get married, wouldn't you?

I highly recommend this book that I am reading right now called "what color is your parachute". It's all about how to make the job hunt the most successful, and narrow down all the best traits/skills that you have, and find that job that best fits you. Think of this as a new beginning...

Are there any healthy snacks you can binge on? Sometimes just the action of having something to chew on calms my nerves (not necessarily what I am eating)... and polishing off a whole bag of, let's say, carrots, will probably feel just as satisfying to the brain as a burger with fries... but you will only spend like 1/10 of the calories. I dunno, just a suggestion.

I am a big binger when I get upset too... I have been known to eat like 5 bowls of captain crunch back to back.

Priscatip
02-05-2009, 12:31 PM
Oh Michelle that is so rough!! I'm so sorry you're struggling right now. I'm glad that your friends have been supportive (well, not about the food stuff, but I'm glad that someone is there for you to talk to). It doesn't sound like that position was the right one for you, so I hope that this becomes an opportunity to find a better fit. That really sucks, friend.
About the eating. I struggle with emotional eating too, and definitely the drinking and the smoking when things get stressful. I know it sucks, but you've got to get a hold on it! Get out of the house, maybe, go for a walk away from the fridge, or hide in the bed with a cup of tea, try to clear your mind. It is GREAT that you came here instead of continuing towards the fridge.
You know that eating isn't going to help, you know it. So now you've just got to stop, get back on plan, and try to let yourself think about what happens now. For me, I would physically have to get away - a walk down the street past no fast food places - and think about things.
I know your boyfriend is nearby and it sounds like you have close friends there too. Hopefully you could sit down and talk to them for support, but not at a restaurant - maybe a park or something.
We're here for you, and I'm so so sorry about the job. I'm sure you will find something that works better for you.

mpaigew
02-05-2009, 12:38 PM
:hug: I have to say, I can relate some (not to the smoking or drinking part though :o.) I have been working the last year as a pastry chef, and was IN LOVE with my job. Seriously, not many people can say that. In November, I went from being SO busy at work, to nothing. I worked in a fairly pricey cafe, and the economy just finally hit us. Our business went down, and the people that did come in would buy lunch, but wouldn't splurge for dessert. Finally the beginning of last month I was let go...just not enough work to justify having a staffed pastry chef. It was like some part of me died! I had worked my butt off getting my pastry arts degree, while being a stay at home mom, and now just felt like I had put my family $$$$$$ in debt for nothing. Desserts are a luxury item, so when times are tough, pastry jobs are not available.

That weekend after I was let go, I had binges. And the week after. I knew I was stuffing my grief in food because I was trying so hard not to let it show on the outside that I was really upset. It's been a month now, and it's still hard not to overeat each day, especially since I've decided to just stay home with my dd for a little while instead of returning to work right away.

Whenever I get into a binge mood, I have to focus my attention on something non food related for 15 minutes. Usually in that 15 minutes, the need to binge will go away, but if it doesn't, I just keep going 15 minutes until it does go away. As long as I don't act on my impulse to run to the refrigerator, I can usually avoid it.

Hang in there. :hug:

beerab
02-05-2009, 12:43 PM
I'm so sorry about your job loss- how terrible!

It reminds me of when I lost my last job- they found out I was leaving and made the last month a living **** for me- Finally they "let me go" because of a conflit with some manager who couldn't stand that I was smarter than her and knew the company inside and out while she didn't. The boss brought me in and I told him I was not happy with the treatment I had been receiving and he said he was sorry to see me go (PFT). I pray everyday their company goes down the drain :D

Okay enough of my rant- screw them! Don't let them screw up your diet! It sucks, you have binged- now enough! I know another thing that helped me was I blogged about it and then moved on.

Take this time to go to the gym at least an hour a day and then find a new job- you can do it!

*hugz*

DCHound
02-05-2009, 12:44 PM
Everything happens for a reason. The ways you've talked about that job in the past make it clear that it was not the right job for you. Not that you weren't good enough! Just that it and you weren't a good fit, and that's not good for you! Once you find the right job for you, you are going to look back and see that this job really wasn't right for you at all, and you are going to be so much happier and mentally healthier.

It doesn't sound to me like you've binged that badly ~ and buying the right kinds of food is a great start to getting right back on track, where you deserve to be. Sending you lots and lots of luck.

Msahaller
02-05-2009, 12:49 PM
Yikes! Sounds like you've had a really rough couple of days. I was once fired from a place that was really important to me and it took a long while before I found somewhere I was happy again. I know it sounds cliche and it doesn't help how you feel at this moment, but there is something better waiting for you.
As far as the food stuff goes, it's good you decided to get online rather than go back into the kitchen. We didn't become members of this website because we got up one day and decided we had a problem...for most of us these behaviors have been a problem our whole lives. Keep your goals in mind, give yourself a break and take care of you :) Don't beat yourself up, just choose to do better TODAY!

Gretchy
02-05-2009, 01:06 PM
I'm so sorry about your job.

We all slip up on our eating habits sometimes - especially when something big happens in our life like losing a job. The important thing is that you don't let your binge turn into a week and a month and so on and so on. Everytime you slip, just get yourself back up - and know we're always here!

H8cake
02-05-2009, 01:25 PM
I'm sorry you are going through this Michelle. I'm glad you came here to get support. Binging is only hurting you, but you know that. I'm sure there's a job out there where your strong points will be appreciated. It sounds like this last job was just a bad fit for you.

Slashnl
02-05-2009, 01:42 PM
Hang in there Michelle. I agree with all of the advice. Just come back here when you feel like giving in to the binge.
I am sure that you can find something better!

gumboot
02-05-2009, 01:58 PM
Big :hug: for you.
Hang in there and we are here for you when you need us.

rodeogirl
02-05-2009, 02:25 PM
Ugh that sucks. I have ADHD and can totllllllllly relate. Details and organization is hard for me but I kick *** at solving problems. People who don't have ADHD just can't relate and bosses take it as you just being a problem and not doing what your told. You get labeled as lazy or careless even if you work harder than your peers. It. is. teh. suck.

Hang in there! Try to remember that the food part is one thing you can do that's nice for yourself. Eating well makes you feel better, longer.

Ok, so you had a binge - no big deal. It was a couple days of not so good eating. Worst case scenario is you put on a pound this week (the scale may say more due to water retention from the sodium) anyhow going up 1 pound is nothing, nada, a blip in the radar.

Ideas:
1. Count your calories.
2. When you want to binge walk to your mailbox (or if you live in an apartment walk out to the curb or street) if you feel like going a little further go for it. [this may sound weird but the mailbox trick works wonders]
3. Do something fun. Read a book. Watch Tv. Play a video game. Take some pictures. Sew. Paint. Draw. Daydream.
4. Consider laying down a temporary rule where you only eat when you can feel the physical sensation of hunger and then you only eat a small plate of food at that time. After you eat wait an hour and then if you feel hungry eat another small plate of food. You can hold off your cravings for 60 minutes. I know you can do it.
5. Make a list of all the things you want to do this summer that will be harder to do if you gain 20lbs between now and then. Paste that list to your fridge.
6. Remind yourself of your signature: "The only person who can stop me, is me--I can take her!" Yes you can!!
7. Whine, gripe, complain, *****, moan, cry here at 3fc. We can take it! :)
8. Go look through the progress pic thread.
9. Remember you are a part of Team Washington and Team Washington kicks ***!! Right ladies?
10. Find activities that make it hard to eat. Take a ferry ride to Bremerton - ferry food is expensive and gross and the good salt air will do you good!
11. Read 3 health related articles on the web before you eat a snack.
12. Treat yourself to a nice dinner out at a vegetarian/healthy restaurant.
13. Sign up for unemployment and smile as you remember that your former employer has to pay part of it!
14. Go to a pet store and look at the fish.
15. Clean the house from top to bottom. Start in the kitchen.
16. Go read flylady.com - she is so positive and I always get great ideas about how to realistically keep my house clean. A clean house ALWAYS makes me feel better.
17. Look through your photo albums and think about lots of good and fun memories.
18. I can't remember if you have kids (I think you do) - if so ride bikes with them or do something really fun that they will enjoy. Make a wonderful memory for them. If you don't have kids go borrow nieces, nephews, your friend's kids. Everyone knows some kid out there.
19. Volunteer! Volunteer just a couple hours a week somewhere. Boys/girls club, for your church (if you go to church), a local food bank, woman's shelter, etc. Helping others always makes me feel good and takes my mind off food.
20. Pray, meditate, or whatever you do to nurture your spiritual side.

rodeogirl
02-05-2009, 02:27 PM
Damn I got censored a lot in that last post. :)

daniela
02-05-2009, 02:34 PM
Hi Michelle,

So sorry to hear about your job loss. I'm in Michigan and half of my friends and family are laid off. It's been tough but they are making it and so will you. I'm glad you came here to look for support for your binge. :hug:

Don't beat yourself up and keep moving forward. Remember YOU are worth it!

JayEll
02-05-2009, 02:45 PM
Michelle, you've been doing so good--but you know, LIFE HAPPENS, and even though you are feeling bad, losing your job doesn't give you a free pass.

:coach: Please, put the brakes on while there is still time! Now more than ever you need to stick to taking care of yourself. There is no end to that other path, it just slides right on down to oblivion...

Look back at your healthy eating, wouldn't you rather be helping yourself that way than making things worse?

Hang in there, Michelle! :hug: :hug: :hug:

Jay

Smiling_Sara
02-05-2009, 02:58 PM
so sorry hon!! As others said, everything happens for a reason. You caught yourself, steer the wheel back around in the right direction.

Redflame
02-05-2009, 03:02 PM
SWEET! Fantastic news that that door has been closed now, and you have time and energy to spend on finding that next open door!

Allow--and forgive yourself--for a couple days of grieving process---usually starts with anger and fear and then goes into sadness. Key--forgive yourself, for losing the job, for binging...........all of it. It is over now, and new day is here.

Have you gone online to apply for your unemployment? Get that started right away......you can also go into your local office. While you are there, look for thier job postings. Dust off your bestest interview outfit and be prepared. You can tackle this, one day at a time! And you will succeed!

Jen415
02-05-2009, 03:11 PM
SWEET! Fantastic news that that door has been closed now, and you have time and energy to spend on finding that next open door!

Allow--and forgive yourself--for a couple days of grieving process---usually starts with anger and fear and then goes into sadness. Key--forgive yourself, for losing the job, for binging...........all of it. It is over now, and new day is here.

Have you gone online to apply for your unemployment? Get that started right away......you can also go into your local office. While you are there, look for thier job postings. Dust off your bestest interview outfit and be prepared. You can tackle this, one day at a time! And you will succeed!

Brilliant post!!

jademarlene
02-05-2009, 04:21 PM
That sucks, sorry to hear about the loss of job. Don't be down on yourself for the binge, losing a job is a major life change. Think of this as an opportunity to find a better job and try to take care of yourself.:hug:

cfmama
02-05-2009, 08:09 PM
I am sorry that you lost your paycheck... but not sorry that you lost that horrible awful job that DID NOT appreciate you and the very wonderful person that you are.

That said...

You had a binge. Big deal. Move on!!! You will see a blip on the scale and that's it. You NEED food sanity right now. You need it. So make your plans and stick with them. Find a new job where you are wanted and appreciated and keep losing that weight.

Come here and ***** at us. We'll hold you up babe.

Michelle98272
02-05-2009, 08:21 PM
decided to get right back OP with the food. I ate a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast, a very small piece of lasagna for lunch, an orange and granola bar for snack and am making Sloppy Joes for dinner that I plan to add 2x times the onions and celery to the mix to up the veggies and lower the amount of meat on the sandwich. I also use 98% ff hamburger.

I went to my friends house today to get her help with my resume. We decided to scrap the whole thing and write a new one. Good thing she is good at that kind of stuff. I found about 20 jobs to apply for online, filed for unemployment and got my interview suit ready. I called my son's school to offer to tutor or volunteer or help out and have planned to join my son's class for lunch tomorrow. It will motivate me to get up and shower, dress, do my hair and put on makeup rather than staying sloppy like I did today. I showered but put on sweats and had my hair in a pony with -0- makeup on when I went to my friends house. Very unlike me! I usually try to look my best.

Thanks for the advice and support to all of you. Redflame:hug:, your post really summed up how I felt today. I am glad it happened, finally. I really took it personally and feel badly that it happened but was living in fear of having the other shoe drop. I hated living with the write up in the back of my mind, being afraid to make the tiniest mistake really kept me from being fully present and doing my job well. It's done and now I can look for the next open window!

Merksie
02-05-2009, 08:21 PM
Sorry to hear about the lost job - the economy is so terrible now, you're in good company!

Glad you caught yourself after only a couple of days.

rodeogirl
02-05-2009, 09:25 PM
Sounds like you are right back on track! I'm glad you're going to spend time with your son's class - hopefully that will be fun for everyone involved!

beerab
02-06-2009, 06:27 PM
Good for you! It's great you are keeping busy- and now you have even more time for the gym YAY!

(Okay well maybe a small yay lol)

mygritsconfessions
02-06-2009, 06:42 PM
I'm sorry you lost your job, but look at as a new beginning, or a new chapter in your life. If they didn't appreciate you and the workk you did, you are better off going elsewhere! You deserve more respect than that! :D

Binge is something I do too, and it's OK! It's a minor hiccup in a life long journey of being healthier. It's going to happen. What is important is that you go forward from there and eat healthy tomorrow. :carrot:

Sandy

blog - www.mygritsconfessions.com

GirlyGirlSebas
02-06-2009, 07:17 PM
I'm sorry Michelle. That really sucks. No one likes to feel rejected.

But, one question....were you happy at that job? Was this a blessing in disguise? You now get the opportunity to go down another path. Lucky you!

folwthewhtrbt702
02-06-2009, 08:13 PM
I am sorry to hear about the job loss, I was laid off back in May and still have not found work. Times are tough but one thing it has made me realize is that I always define who I am by what my work is. Don't let your job define who you are as a person. This has been a growing experience for me, thank goodness my boyfriend is a firefighter so he has steady work and a steady income and he can support us both. I have actually decided to use this as an opportunity rather then a negative. I am enrolling back in school and going to get my degree so I can get a real job doing something I will enjoy rather then just finding the next dead end. Keep your head up, everything happens for a reason (I truly believe that). And don't beat yourself up over a couple bad days, it happens to everyone, I think the true measure is how quickly you are able to catch it and turn it around. Hang in there

Naughtymonkey01
02-06-2009, 08:57 PM
i know all these ladies have already given such great advice. you have a bad, ya take a look around, see how you feel, and something something something... lol im sorry i forget the song. But you WILL find another job, and you will get right back on track! you can do it!!