100 lb. Club - Very VERY OT: I might be losing my job. Freaking Out!




Michelle98272
01-31-2009, 12:38 PM
I have been struggling at work with performance issues, really detail oriented stuff and got written up yesterday with a last chance type write up.:( I have ADHD and have struggled my whole life with detail oriented things. I've done all I can to stay on-top of things short of a prefrontal cortex transplant (that part doesn't work right in folks with ADHD) and take daily meds for it. I've gotten great at using my day planner, email reminders to check my schedule every day, several times a day. I'm trying my hardest but it might be a little too little, too late.

I told my bf last night about this. Freaking out, panicked and worrying...near tears. His response? "Don't worry about it! You think the worst about everything!" True. I tend to catastrophize everything. I developed that as a coping skill as a child in an abusive family. If you immediately run your brain to the end of what is the worst that can happen, you are prepared if it does OR if it doesn't...you're relieved. But I can't just NOT worry!!

I'm polishing up my resume today and plan on hitting the bricks next week to apply for new jobs.

I'm soooo close to grabbing my keys and hitting McDonald's for the BIG breakfast. I woke up last night in an panic thinking about the potential for being fired in this economy. I ate 6 banana muffins slathered in butter.:?: I didn't feel better! I felt disgusted AND still panicked about my job.

I just want some kind words, a strong arm around my shoulders, a hug...good friend type stuff.


lottie63
01-31-2009, 12:44 PM
So sorry hon *hugs* I know how it is with the whole mental health thing and work. I'm currently on disability but finishing up school and preparing to try and go back to work soon. I'm terrified. I feel ya!

Hopefully all your planning with work out at the new job. Just try and stay on top of things.

beerab
01-31-2009, 01:07 PM
Can they do this? Do they know you have ADHD?

Was it really that big of a deal that you missed a detail? Sounds harsh to be written up- I mean I've forgotten things at work and it's like hey no big deal- you are human....

Anyways- don't go get that breakfast- it won't make you feel better! Eat a nice healthy breakfast then send out that resume- good luck!


time2lose
01-31-2009, 01:09 PM
I am sorry that you are going through this. :hug:

Now, take a deep breath. You have a plan and are taking action. Good for you! Working on your resume is a good distraction from eating. Tell yourself that hitting McDonald's will not help the situation. We are here for you.

:hug::hug:

Michelle98272
01-31-2009, 01:16 PM
I disclosed about 3 months ago that I have ADHD. I asked for accomodations: directions or requests being sent via email instead of just said in passing in the hall, meetings 1x a week face to face with my manager for feedback, problem solving etc. I was told I could have these accomodations but would still have to perform the essential job duties. I was told if there were issues with performance I'd be let go despite asking for accomodations. So, yes they can fire me. We have a very efficient HR department where their motto is "documentation, documentation, documentation!" every conversation, every concern spoken to me by my manager has been documented so there is a paper trail to support any action on their part. If I do get fired, I'll still try to file for unemployment but I don't know if I'll get it.

cfmama
01-31-2009, 01:16 PM
Oh babe I am SO SORRY! Do they know that you have ADHD? Can they fire you for a disability???

Banana muffins won't help anything my friend. You are doing SO WELL, don't spiral at this time. You need some food sanity to get through this rough time.

I wish you much luck finding another better job with a more caring and understanding boss.

big hugs
Tam

mags
01-31-2009, 01:17 PM
It must be a bad workweek for Michelles! (Michelle is my given name too.) I'm scared about work on Monday. Yesterday (Friday), I was goofing off, which is normally not a problem because my boss is pretty relaxed, but I was surfing the Web and ended up on a site that tried to download a virus onto my computer. I tried to turn it off quickly, but I'm afraid that I wasn't successful. The last time an employee mistakenly downloaded a computer virus into the company's network, the employee was fired. The IT staff are NOT forgiving individuals, and I can't defend myself--I definitely shouldn't have been surfing the Net. (The site wasn't porn or anything like that, but it would be obvious to anyone that the site wasn't work-related.)

Anyway, I'm very sorry. Don't let your diet derail if you can help it. Think how much more confident you will be when you look for a job if you stick to your plan!

Trazey34
01-31-2009, 01:45 PM
I think you're doing all the right things!

#1 yes you ate too much - but you admit it and came here for help

#2 you've already made changes at work, planning, reminders etc. It's hard to offer advice not knowing what kind of work it is, but a watch with an alarm? can that help? a little DING time to do this... just a thought!

#3 you know you're a worrier, but you're not stupid either - there's a real chance this could happen so you're making plans -- resume and job hunting, that's smart, just in case the worst possible scenario comes thru

your HR people have everything documented, but do they have your diagnosis on file? like a doctor's letter or something? Otherwise it's just their side of the story?

Please check in with us to let us know how things are going - and for help when those muffins are too tempting!!

Melody2006
01-31-2009, 01:59 PM
Oh, I know that feeling. I had brain surgery on our company's self funded health insurance (worked at a hospital) and every since that they picked on my every move and wrote me up several times for non-patient related stuff. I was fired 2 weeks ago. I'm in the unemployment process and have to wait for the decision of the unemployment gods. I worked for the company for 4.5 years. Keeping my fingers crossed I get it. Sucks to not have insurance now.

JulieJ08
01-31-2009, 02:05 PM
It must be a bad workweek for Michelles! (Michelle is my given name too.) I'm scared about work on Monday. Yesterday (Friday), I was goofing off, which is normally not a problem because my boss is pretty relaxed, but I was surfing the Web and ended up on a site that tried to download a virus onto my computer. I tried to turn it off quickly, but I'm afraid that I wasn't successful. The last time an employee mistakenly downloaded a computer virus into the company's network, the employee was fired. The IT staff are NOT forgiving individuals, and I can't defend myself--I definitely shouldn't have been surfing the Net. (The site wasn't porn or anything like that, but it would be obvious to anyone that the site wasn't work-related.)

Anyway, I'm very sorry. Don't let your diet derail if you can help it. Think how much more confident you will be when you look for a job if you stick to your plan!

Oy, if the virus went through, they can't be happy about not being notified in time to do something. But I'd be afraid to speak up too.

choirgirlhotel
01-31-2009, 02:27 PM
I was surfing the Web and ended up on a site that tried to download a virus onto my computer. I tried to turn it off quickly, but I'm afraid that I wasn't successful. The last time an employee mistakenly downloaded a computer virus into the company's network, the employee was fired. The IT staff are NOT forgiving individuals, and I can't defend myself--I definitely shouldn't have been surfing the Net. (The site wasn't porn or anything like that, but it would be obvious to anyone that the site wasn't work-related.)


You know, this really pisses me off. This whole internet at work thing. It's 2009! Our LIFE is the internet. There is no escaping it.

As for internet on work time...I firmly believe that, as long as you are not abusing it, you should be able to look at the internet on work time. I mean, what's next? you're not allowed to "glance" at the open newspaper sitting next to you? You're not allowed to talk to anyone? You're not allowed to get up and go to the bathroom?

The internet is part of daily life now - people and employers should get used to it.

Should you spend an hour on it instead of doing the work that you are getting paid for? No, I'm not saying that. But looking at a site for 5 minutes is nothing people should get in trouble for. It would be like walking out of your office and going to get a drink and glancing at the newspaper for 5 minutes.

As for viruses - as if you meant to download a virus! that's the IT's JOB! If they were a good IT department, they would be blocking sites like that in the first place. My work does, and they are dealing with thousands and thousands of employees. It's really not that hard. Viruses are part of the internet, deal with it.

the internet is part of daily life in 2009. Deal with it!

:soap: Ok, I'll step off now! lol.

~CGH~

P.S. And as for the original poster, I was actually quite impressed that you admitted to your employers that you have ADHD and worked out a solution that would help you. It's not like you were asking them to donate a kidney, you asked them to email you and have a meeting 1x a week. Honestly, if I were an employer I would be so impressed that you problem solved and asked for something you needed. That shows to me that you are serious, mature, problem-solving and ahead of the game.

beerab
01-31-2009, 03:02 PM
Mags try housecall.antivirus.com and see if it'll remove it for you- it's totally free and I use it all the time for my computer- it does take a while though so I'd set it to run on my lunch- then walk away from the computer and when you come back it should be done scanning and you tell it clean out anything it finds and then you'll just have to restart.

Good luck with that.

OP it's a shame your company won't be more sympathetic, it's not as if you aren't taking a proactive approach to getting around your ADHD!

katyp
01-31-2009, 03:46 PM
1) I know a really good website that a Union rep recommended to a friend off mine iresign.com

it is kinda off like fatchicks but all about jobs etc, very good forum too,have a wee look there

:grouphug:

Erin2tall
01-31-2009, 05:00 PM
I totally understand your panic. I worked in the mortgage industry for 8 years, and after the last two layoffs/companies going bankrupt I moved back into Credit Unions. But with this economy I'm still terrified things will get worse, and they'll start doing lay offs here. I lost my job back in May and didn't find another one until July, and the layoffs were much lighter then :(

I would try documenting what you've done to improve the problems like the notes and planning, especially since your HR team likes documentation :)

But dont' worry too much, and just keep working hard to improve!

Jennelle
01-31-2009, 05:34 PM
Your HR department might be top-notch, but I really don't think they can fire you for having a documented disability. Do you have a legal aid-type place you can call for advice? Or possibly the state labor board could answer your question.

Do you also have documentation of your requests and your meeting with your bosses re: your ADHD? (Is it ADHD or ADD? I teach a girl who has ADD - it's the same, just without the hyperactivity component.)

I also am the Queen of the Worst Case Scenario. I think it makes me more prepared, but it can sometimes cross over into that panicked, helpless feeling. Take a deep breath. Don't eat your fear or uncertainty. Go for a walk, scream into your pillow, beat up your bed...but don't eat.

{{{{{hugs}}}}}

lalique
02-01-2009, 12:18 AM
I hope everything works out for you :hug:

Redflame
02-01-2009, 12:32 AM
Michelle,

I am in the employment business AND I am in Washington too........IF you are fired you will not have to fight for unemployment at all! the only time you do is if you quit. YOu can even fail a random UA and get unemployment!

Employers are suppose to make reasonable accomodations, but if it does not work it does not work........you still get your unemployment as long as you have enough paid into it (you worked 80% of FT hours 2 quarters ago, so that means July August and September)

Go to Worksourse of Washington (google search) and you can see job posting for your area, plus apply online to all your staffing companies (majority of them focus on long term, perm jobs and there is NO fee to you. They are not like they used to be where they were only temp jobs or you had to pay for them) My company has 3 offices in Seattle (Express Employment Professionals)

haleysmommy5402
02-01-2009, 01:11 AM
:hug: I hope you don't lose your job .. that really sucks!! :crossed:

Michelle98272
02-01-2009, 01:28 AM
Thanks everyone! I feel a little better. To get my mind off things I went to the ocean today with my bf and son. We looked for sea glass, pretty rocks and shells. It was windy and cold today but sunny. I walked a mile and a half and did a little hiking over some pretty big rocky hills. We had lunch at a little place on the water. I shared a small chicken gorgonzola pizza with my bf, ate a salad and had a pint of micro brew. It wasn't diet food but atleast I didn't order some God awful (read yummy) Pasta Carbonara and a plate of garlic cheese toast! LOL I feel pretty okay about the day.

I know I really can't worry myself back into good standing at work. It's not a very fun habit to have but it is what I do. Thanks again for your help.

Redflame
02-02-2009, 08:00 PM
Just a little comment about using the internet at work. The internet connections, the computer, and the TIME you are using (if you are paid hourly) are all property of the company. Employers look at using THEIR time for personal business as stealing, and if you think about it that is true.
IF you are using a system that is networked (many computers linked together) it can be VERY costly to have a virus.

For me, I am on salary, meaning I dont get paid by the hour, and I work well over 40 hours, so my boss is very lienent about going online now and then, BUT it is super easy to lose track of time when you are surfing, we can all admit to that!