100 lb. Club - My life has turned upside down (death related)




Eiluj
01-25-2009, 02:49 PM
My husband died last Sunday. I was making friends and meeting wonderful people here and didn't want anyone to think I didn't care about their successes or wouldn't return their PMs.

Eating anything at all has been a struggle this past week. I was sick the whole week before and was just starting to feel a little better when boom. My life pretty much ended.

I didn't want to burden everyone with this since none of you know me that well, but that's where I am now. I think I'll be struggling for a long while.

Julie


ANewLife4Me
01-25-2009, 02:54 PM
My heart goes out to you. Please know you are in my thoughts during this terrible, terrible time.

lottie63
01-25-2009, 02:58 PM
Wow...I am so sorry. I can definately get the 'upside down' part...my heart goes out to you and your fam as well.


justducky2
01-25-2009, 03:06 PM
Oh Honey!!!! ((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))

I am so very sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts today. Telling us is not burdening us....that's what a community is here for. Don't even think about the food, other than you need to have something nutritious to keep up your health and carry on. Deal with your grief, first. Do you have supportive family and friends to help you out? Ask for help, if you need it. People want to help, and will generally offer to help, not knowing what to do. Take them up on it, but tell them what you need, whether it's having someone nearby, having them eat a meal with you, or cooking some meals to put in your freezer, etc. When I had surgery, one of hubby's student's mom and grandmom made a whole delicious meal and gave it to him for our family before he left work for the day, sparing him the anxiety of cooking, and keeping me in bed for one more day. They knew what to do....but many folks feel helpless in helping people

I'm usually on the diabetic and vegetarian boards, but thought I'd wander over to check this forum out, so I've not been a regular here.

Take care of yourself, dearie, and post when you feel up to it. We care!

Justwant2Bhealthy
01-25-2009, 03:16 PM
:hug: ... JULIE ~ yes, we are indeed very sorry to hear of your loss; and, while it's true that we may not know you personally, we all know 'sorrow' personally, so we have great compassion for you right now. Sending up prayers for you and your family for comfort and peace at this time ... :hug:

rodeogirl
01-25-2009, 03:19 PM
Wow Julie, I'm sorry for your loss. Hang in there and know that whatever comes next you're not going crazy, grief runs it's own course for each person.

When my "adopted" father (the most important person in my life before or since) died suddenly I had a guy friend say "I'll give you three days to mourn." I was 17 at the time and I know he was worried about me and I think that was his way of trying to keep me from harm but he soooooo didn't get it.

I don't think there's much any of us can do during grief but surround ourselves with loved ones and weather the storm. Hang in there!! We're thinking of you.

Gardenwife
01-25-2009, 03:20 PM
Julie, my heart's with you. Several of my friends on a gardening website have lost their husbands in the last couple of years and I know their participation in some ongoing threads with each other has helped them all a lot. I hope you have some good support system. You and your family are in my prayers.

TraceyElaine
01-25-2009, 03:22 PM
So so so sorry to hear about your husband. I could not even imagine your pain. We are all here for you. This is a pretty amazing group of people and if you need a sholder to cry on we are all here.

Thighs Be Gone
01-25-2009, 03:27 PM
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. My thoughts and prayers are going to you now.

GirlyGirlSebas
01-25-2009, 03:40 PM
Julie, I'm so sorry.

iwannalose
01-25-2009, 03:44 PM
Bless your heart. I'm so sorry for your loss.
I will keep you in my prayers for comfort.

((((((((((((()))))))))))))
Donna

bargoo
01-25-2009, 03:44 PM
I am so sorry for your loss. Please remember you are not a burden. We are here to help each other.

Nash
01-25-2009, 04:08 PM
Julie, if anything - know that these boards and all of the people here are an unbiased outlet if you need it. There is absolutely no burden. Emotional support is the most important part of this for all of us, no matter the scale.

nelie
01-25-2009, 04:13 PM
I am so sorry for your loss. We are here for you :grouphug:

Randi
01-25-2009, 04:20 PM
:hug: I am so sorry - you are in my thoughts and prayers - we are definitely here for you.

DCHound
01-25-2009, 04:27 PM
I am so sorry for your loss.

cfmama
01-25-2009, 04:36 PM
OMG I am soooo sorry :( Please take care of you and let us know if there is anything we can do :(

mariamherrera
01-25-2009, 04:36 PM
WOW! I am so sorry to hear about our loss! what a horrible tragedy- you are a strong person for coming here and even informing us! be soo proud of yourself that you know where your at mentally and you know it will take take! that's great! your such a strong person! your husband would be proud of you!

we all understand if you don't come here often in the next coming weeks and months or even at all- but if you need us were here!

I don't know what I'd do if I lost my husband! indeed my world would be turned upside down- he's my everything... your an amazing women for going through this and staying strong! each day it will get a tiny bit easier and a year from now you'll say Hey I made it through this and I'm an even stronger person now! your in my thoughts and prayers!:hug:

Eiluj
01-25-2009, 04:55 PM
Thanks, everyone.

It's been hard to decide who to tell. I don't want to dump this too much on internet strangers, but so much of my coming struggle is going to deal with grief that it's not fair to me or anyone to act like it's not happening, you know?

I love this board. You are all so kind.

Julie

jademarlene
01-25-2009, 04:58 PM
I am so sorry, please try to take care of yourself during your grieving.

midwife
01-25-2009, 05:02 PM
Julie, I am so sorry for the loss of your husband.

Please, know that this is a safe place for you to come and share your feelings and emotions. Never doubt that you have a community of support here.

You and your family will be in my prayers.

djay
01-25-2009, 05:21 PM
I am so sorry for your loss!:hug::hug::hug:
Know that I will be praying for you and your family.
I know it is difficult to think of food right now...but make sure that you are eating at least something 3 times a day. Try to remember to take care of yourself through all of this...or if you just can't...reach out and let others take care of you for just a while.

thistoo
01-25-2009, 05:23 PM
I'm so sorry for your loss. We don't know each other, but you're in my thoughts.

shdbepaintin
01-25-2009, 05:26 PM
Wishing you comfort at this time. A very big hug coming your way.

redreine
01-25-2009, 05:35 PM
:hug:

irishsarah
01-25-2009, 06:01 PM
I am so incredibly sorry. Please, feel free to post away (or not). Whatever helps you get through the day. :hug:

2ndChance09
01-25-2009, 06:21 PM
Oh sweetie I am so sorry for your loss. I am thinking about you and praying for you. Please come here as much as you want. We are all here for you to listen and do whatever we can. Hugs.

crazycurls
01-25-2009, 06:24 PM
I'm so sorry about your loss! You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers!

Tai
01-25-2009, 06:50 PM
Julie, I'm so sorry for your loss. Please take good care of yourself during this difficult time.

LisaF
01-25-2009, 07:00 PM
Julie,

I am so very sorry to hear this. If/when you do feel like talking, please know that we are all here for you. I know things are incredibly hard right now. Remember to be kind to yourself.

Lisa

walking2lose
01-25-2009, 07:19 PM
Julie,
I am sooo sorry to hear you have lost your husband. I hope you are surrounded by supportive people, but please draw on the cyber support here too. We are real people, and we care. With my deepest sympathies,

TJFitnessDiva
01-25-2009, 07:26 PM
I am so very sorry :( You will be in my thoughts!

We are here for you! So don't think you are being a burden of any sort here *hugs*

SnowboundChick
01-25-2009, 08:35 PM
I am very sorry for you loss. We are here for you.

RN BSN 2009
01-25-2009, 08:38 PM
sending prayers your way. please take care of yourself

JuliaDH
01-25-2009, 08:52 PM
I echo everyones sentiments. Hugs, please know that you coming here to share your pain is not a burden. It can be a safe place free from judgement, a place to mourn at your pace with no pressure to suck it up. As you said we are internet strangers...we have a quality that your tangible community of family & friends can not give you. And that is the freedom to share your true heart with no fear of judgement. We dont give you the "sad eyes". And we can gift back to you from our heart sympathy/empathy and not fear the traditional boundaries a face to face may have like awkwardness. Praying for you and your family. Hugs again!

IrishRose25
01-25-2009, 09:05 PM
Oh, honey. Take care of yourself, and lean on your family and friends, as I am sure they've leaned on you. Stay on the boards if it's helpful. We are all holding you in our hearts!!

Bluebird
01-25-2009, 09:09 PM
Oh, Julie, I don't even know you, but my heart jumped into my throat when I read your words. I am so very sorry for your loss.

Jennelle
01-25-2009, 09:10 PM
Julie...I am so sorry for your loss. Don't ever feel like you're a burden. We're here if you need us. {{{{hugs}}}}

murphmitch
01-25-2009, 09:12 PM
Julie, I'm so sorry for your loss. Prayers going up for you and your loved ones during this time. Take care of yourself and know we are thinking of you here. :hug:

shelby897
01-25-2009, 09:21 PM
His Journey's Just Begun...

Don't think of him as gone away...
his journey's just begun,
life holds so many facets...
this earth is only one.

Just think of him as resting
from the sorrows and the tears
in a place of warmth and comfort
where there are no days and years.

Think how he must be wishing
that we could know today
how nothing but our sadness
can really pass away.

And think of him as living
in the hearts of those he touched....
for nothing loved is evenly lost...
and he was loved so much.


:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug: Nothing can make your pain fade, I hope someday the wonderful memories will soften the pain you feel :hug::hug:

LesliesMom
01-25-2009, 09:46 PM
I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you.

Angie

Ookpik
01-25-2009, 10:38 PM
So sorry to hear of your loss. Take care of yourself.

nicolen
01-25-2009, 11:54 PM
Oh, Julie. I'm so sorry, sweetheart. Just know that if you want to talk, vent, whatever, we're all here for you.

My thoughts are with you. :hug:

lalique
01-26-2009, 12:25 AM
My thoughts & prayers are with you :hug:

Lyn2007
01-26-2009, 01:17 AM
I am so sorry for your loss. Please know you can come here and vent how you feel and people care. {{{hugs}}}

S.A.S.H
01-26-2009, 09:05 AM
:hug: We may not have had the chance to know you well, yet, but you are still one of our little family here. My heart goes out to your and your family. We will keep you all in our thoughts and prayers. :hug:

autumns19
01-26-2009, 09:30 AM
I am very sorry for your loss. I can't say I understand, because I don't. I can't imagine the pain you are in. Please know that we are all here for you. Take care of yourself. You are in my thoughts. :hug:

Jen415
01-26-2009, 09:31 AM
You know, 3FC is best place on the internet. Seriously. No matter what you are currently going through--death, job loss, kid problems, caring for aging parents, work issues, rude people, divorce, and on and on--there is SOMEONE on this site who has either been through it or is going through it along with you.

You are NEVER alone here. Big hugs to you right now.

Priscatip
01-26-2009, 09:50 AM
I'm so sorry. Please talk to us if you need someone to talk to - it would never be a burden - and sometimes the friends you don't have to see every day can be the easiest ones to talk about your troubles with. Knnow that I am thinking about you.

fiberlover
01-26-2009, 12:02 PM
:hug: We're here for you.

Smiling_Sara
01-26-2009, 12:18 PM
We are all here for you, Julie. My heart and prayers go out to you during this hard time. :hug:

pick7499
01-26-2009, 12:35 PM
My heart goes out to you! Just know that we are here when you need.

mj5
01-26-2009, 01:08 PM
Julie--I am so very sorry for your loss. Remember that we are here for you to listen, vent to, or to be a distraction--whatever you need. Take care of yourself.

H8cake
01-26-2009, 01:14 PM
I'm so sorry! I'm glad you've found this board and I hope it helps you in this difficult time.

Eiluj
01-26-2009, 01:25 PM
Thanks, everyone.

I'm glad I posted. You're all wonderful.

Julie

Bee20nine
01-26-2009, 01:29 PM
Please take care of yourself first and foremost. I hope you are surrounded by people that care about you the most and will walk with you.

I know you have no idea who I am, but I will be lifting you up in prayer. In my short experiences of life, I have seen that people grieve differently and if there is anything I can specifically pray for while your going through this process please feel free to PM me and I will do so in earnest.

Sandi
01-26-2009, 01:54 PM
:hug: I am so sorry for your loss. :hug:

Please know that even though we are a weight loss site, it goes WAY beyond that. We become friends and truly care about what happens to one another. Please feel free to post anytime. You are not burdening us at all. We are here for you. :hug:

FB
01-26-2009, 01:57 PM
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts.

madys momma
01-26-2009, 03:15 PM
Julie...I lost my husband last Christmas. If you need to talk I am here. You will be okay, but it takes time..you just have to be good to yourself and never ever think it is going to be all better...it won't be...this will affect you for the rest of your life but my motto has been "I can be miserable and he's not coming back or I can live each day to the fullest and he's not coming back" so I choose to live life to the fullest and make the most out of it...don't get me wrong there are tough days but the support of those around me and my baby girl have helped me get through the last 13 months. PM me if you need to talk!

Carrie

hautbois
01-26-2009, 08:16 PM
I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope that you have many friends and relatives close by to comfort you and help you. Like others have said, we'll be here when you're ready to post again. (((hugs)))

BellaHTH
01-26-2009, 09:05 PM
Julie, I don't have words for how to make anything better, except to say *hugs hugs and more hugs*

See Spot Shrink
01-26-2009, 09:37 PM
I am so sorry for your loss. :hug: